A Real Life Documentry hosted by Ron, Harry and Hermione

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A/N: No, I don't own anything in this story, not even the story line! (A friend did!) O_o Anyway, enjoy... Oh, and parts of it will be mildly disturbing. ^^

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*Hermione walks into the Gryffindor Common Room with a camera crew behind her*

Ron: *looks up from his home work (surprise, surprise!)* What are they doing here? They're Muggles Hermione!

Hermione: I know that. But they're so thick that they think they're in Buckingham Palace. *clears her throat and looks at the camera* My na-

Ron: *looks annoyed* Her name is Hermione Granger the smartest smartass in school that just invited Muggles into Hogwarts. And I'm Ron Weasley, her not so stupid (Hermione: Oh please!) frien- AHHHH!!!! SPIDER!!!!!

Hermione: Yes, well um.... you can see Ron here wets himself at the sight of a daddy long legs....*laughs and points at the small spider sitting at the opposite side of the Common Room*

Ron: Shut up, I would be scared of them if I didn't live with Fred and George.....or if I didn't break that toy broomstick....*shudders*

Hermione: And here's the 3rd year's biggest git, just kidding Harry, you'd be tied with Crabbe, Goyle and Malfoy. *smiles innocently as Harry glares at her* I didn't say anything Harry....

Ron: I find that hard to believe....

Hermione: Just keep your trap shut you! *she flicks her wand and a nailed down metal strip fastens itself over Ron's mouth*

Harry: Channel 94875957392??

Hermione: *nodds* Best TV station there is.....

Harry: Okay.... But what's the point of recording something boring like this, when you could be recording one of my astounding Snitch captures against Slytherin..... *makes a grabbing motion with his hand*

Hermione: I think McGonagall made a big mistake when she made you Seeker.....

Harry: Why? *looks dumbfounded*

Hermione: Because your heads swollen 10000000 times it's normal size! *groans*

Harry: Well at least I don't strut! *shoots another death glare in her direction, which was more pathetic than the last attempt*

Hermione: *sighs* I give up.....

Harry: Does that mean I get to take over? *begs with puppy eyes*

Hermione: No way! As if anyone would want to watch your so-called 'amazing' Snitch capture against Malfoy 10 million times in a row!

Harry: I promise I'll only show that capture once.....I'll show my others too!

Hermione: *sighs and walks away*

Harry: Hey, Hermione!! *thinks* Hang on! That means I get to take over! Whooooooo!!! *uncurses Ron*

Ron: *rubs his mouth* Great! A Quidditch channel for the Muggles!

Harry: Yep, I just have to replay those games.... Ron, you can be Malfoy, mainly because you can't play Quidditch to save your life, Lee would be more than happy to commentate....

Ron: *rubs his clenched fist* I AM NOT BEING THE BOUNCING FERRET!!!

Harry: *holds out his wand* Protest against me again Ron, and I'll let you have it! *dark, evil grin*

Ron: Okay, okay....*mumbles some curse words under his breath*

Harry: *shoves a long, blond wig on Ron's head* There! Now hurry up and order a Nimbus 2001!

Ron: *blank look* Okay, we'll be right back!

Harry: Hey that's my line! *clears his throat* We'll be right back! *camera cuts out*

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Harry: *casts another hopeless death glare at FFQ* WHAT?!

Hermione: This is wrong, Harry DOES strut....

Ron: Whoooooo!!! I GET A NIMBUS 2001!!!!!

FFQ: Hang on Ron, what if they're sold out? *evil smirk*

Ron: DAMMIT!!!

Harry: You could ride my Nimbus 2000....

Ron: It's broken you bloody git!

Harry: Oh yeah.....I forgot......Well, glue it back together! Hermione could help....

Hermione: As if! Besides, if I helped Ron fix the Nimbus 2000 in the next chapter, FFQ will make us do ANOTHER kissing scene! *shudders* You Muggles are GROSS!!

Ron: Hey! I'm not that bad! *kisses her with a laugh as Hermione screams* Besides, could be Draco or Snape....

Hermione: But they're good kissers! Anyway, they're not Ronald McDonald!!

FFQ: Too bad Hermione! Harry you're a genius! *hugs Harry so tight that he nearly suffocates*

Ron and Hermione: HARRY!!!!!!

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A./N: What'd ya think? Nice piece of insanity for your daily dose? I think I've had enough insanity for a life time when I wrote this! :P