WTMI Morning Mayhem Show featuring Hergo, Dr. Drakken, and Shego

Radio Transcripts

The Monday Morning Rant of DOOOOOM! This week's episode: The Blue Balls of Doom

By: The Incredible Werekitty and Abel DuSable

Disney owns Dr. Drakken and Shego. The Incredible Werekitty created WTMI, The Morning Mayhem Show, and Hergo/ Heather Go. The concept of the Monday Morning Rant of Doom, and a good many of the rants themselves, was created by Abel DuSable.

Hergo: "Hello, again, Middleton, and it's MONDAY! You have to go back to that five-day-long drudgery known as he workweek. In what has become something of a custom, here on the Morning Mayhem Show, we're giving the results of the fantasy mad scientists league forum debate on last week's rant, and airing the latest offering from our resident mad scientist, Dr. Drakken."

Drakken: "My Ten Ton rubber Balls will crush all opposition!"

Heather paused, and started giggling. "Ten ton super balls?"

Drakken: "When I was a lad I invented a device that gave me total control over rubber products... Stop snickering Shego."

"And nobody could best you in any of the typical playground games, right?" Heather added. "Dodge ball and dodo's, Dr. D."

Drakken: "Shego! You TOLD her?"

Hergo: "She had to gripe to somebody, Doc."

Drakken: "SIGH Alright... anyways it's perfectly plausible for my balls to conquer all of America and from there the rest of the world."

Heather stared at Drakken for a long moment, then collapsed into a fit of helpless laughter.

Drakken: "What?"

"You mean... he doesn't... know?" Hergo panted, still laughing herself silly.

Drakken: "Oh I get it... You think that my balls are useless once it reaches the borders, Eh? Well my Balls are far more powerful than you could possibly imagine!"

"Oh ghawd," Heather gasped, erupting into fresh laughter.

Drakken: "I promise you that once I unleash my balls on an unsuspecting world that no matter where you go... Everyone will know the Name Doctor Drakken because of his famous Balls!"

"Cut to commercial, please," Heather chortled, as she beat her hand on a table in her hilarity.

Shego roared with laughter into the Microphone and managed to gasp... "Oh ghawd... this is as bad as your idea to conquer the world with a new line of Hypno-drug laced Bratwurst."

Drakken: "I still say that my Wiener had a shot of global domination."

This statement was greeted with fresh torrents of feminine laughter.

Hergo: "Oh, we're on a commercial break. Good... Doctor Drakken, do you know anything about sexual slang?"

Drakken: "I'm still trying to get a grasp on the latest batch of Run-of-the-mill Slang."

Hergo: "Okay. Just for your edification, and so I don't give myself a headache from laughing too hard, wiener, and balls are slang for certain... parts of the male anatomy."

Drakken: "Really? Which par... OH MY GHAWD! NO!"

Shego: "Heeeee's figured it out on his own. Without us even having to draw him a picture."

Hergo: "Yeah, I imagine so, from the way he just went such a loverly shade of purple."

Drakken slowly sunk down on the floor and crawled under the Console. "Ahhhhh... I've lost all of my reputation! I can't believe that my evil balls of doom made me look like a buffoon..."

Hergo: "You know you could call them spheres... Though you have already broadcast it all over Middleton... Oopsie, commercial's over. Hello, folks, and welcome back to the Morning Mayhem Show. And what a show it's been. The weekly rant will be a bit delayed, because we're having technical difficulties with our cohost. In the meantime, we'll give you the best forum quotes from the past week."

Drakken: "Wahhhhhh! My Balls are laughable despite their disproportionally large size!"

Hergo: "Uh, Doc? You know we're on the air, right?"

Drakken: "Aw fudge."

Shego: "He knows. Now."

Hergo: "You should pay more attention, Doc. Why don't you come up with a back-up rant, and we'll read the funniest forum quotes."

Drakken: "Alright... I think I have my notes for a ray that turns people into a bunch of silly Boobs somewhere here."

Shego: "Should I tell him, or will you?"

Hergo: "I think I should... Uh Doc? You might want to rephrase that."

Drakken: "What? Another slang word?"

Heather leaned close to Drakken, and whispered exactly why he would want to rephrase.

Drakken: "NNNGH! BUFFOONS! I meant Buffoons! ...Buffoons is safe, right?"

"Unless Ron Stoppable calls in," laughed Heather.

Drakken: "My gigantic blue Orbs could have worked."

Hergo: "Doc, do they have to be blue? People are going to be wondering about your equipment, after this."

Drakken: "I get blue rubber at a discount... The next cheapest color is green."

Hergo: "And the hits just keep on coming... Are you blue down there, by the way? I'd find out for myself, after work, but I'm not interested in third degree plasma burns."

Drakken: "Oh that's a personal question!"

Hergo: "I know. But, like I said, because of the innuendo, the next hot topic for the forums is going to be that."

Drakken: "You wouldn't DARE! Shego! Attack!"

Shego: "What?"

Drakken: "Sorry... Force of habit."

Hergo: "Never mind she'd never lay a finger on me

Shego.": "Yeah... no matter how often you ask me to Cousin."

Hergo: "SHEGO! I have never come on to you!"

Shego snickered and elbowed Drakken. "There... I attacked. Consider that your birthday present."

Hergo: "And that, folks, is why she's my favorite cousin."

END TRANSCRIPT