Welcome to the MKSG - Mortal Kombat Survival Guide

This guide, written by a very experienced kombatant known only as "Survival Game" is a not-so-helpful guide on how to survive against other participants of the Mortal Kombat tournaments. Have fun reading the obvious with this first chapter, detailing how to deal with Scorpion!


Welcome to Hell! Here we have lava, lava and molten rock. Enjoy! We also have corrupted souls, horrific oni, demons with rotting skin, and a super-angry ninja spectre with a thing about the colour yellow, but those are things we keep out of our travel brochures. Since you're here, or at least since you're reading the "Hellish Kombatants" section of the survival guide, I might as well give you some hints. Whilst I can't give you hints about the oni or the other monstrously monstrous monsters, I can help you deal with the yellow-clad ninja should he want to melt your head like cheese on toast.

Here are five top tips to get you started on fighting Scorpion, vengeful ninja of the Netherrealm.

Number 1:

Shirai Ryu sorrow? "Yo momma" jokes are to be avoided.

One very important thing about Scorpion is that he is not unlike Batman in some respects. He wears a batsuit, fights for justice and his parents are dead. Well, actually, only one of those fit both of them, but you wouldn't make a "Yo momma" joke to Batman (not if you wanted to keep your teeth anyway), so don't do it to Scorpion. Point is, when talking to Scorpion and looking for a smartass thing to say, Imagine talking to Batman and rethink based on that. Also, Scorpion's entire family was murdered. So yeah.

Number 2:

Ninja rivalry? Don't be Sub-Zero.

Some people think the question is Red vs. Blue, but in this case, they're wrong. Yellow is the new red, and swearing vengeance is the new dislike button. Long story short, if you're Sub-Zero, you shouldn't be reading this because you already know it. If you're not Sub-Zero, you shouldn't be reading this because it doesn't apply to you. Why are you reading this? Because you can. You know what else you can do? Read more chapters. Just saying.

Number 3:

A kunai? Scorpion's rope weapon.

He likes to call it a spear, but no. It's really not a spear. It's a sharp, pointy thing on a rope. And what did you learn about sharp, pointy things as a kid? They're not toys and you shouldn't run with them, but Scorpion is a rebel and doesn't give a sh*t about your opinion. He'll run with that all day long, just for a chance to throw it at you and ruin your day. It hurts enough to have a kunai lodged in your chest, but normally he tugs at it and drags you towards him so he can ruin your day even more. If he doesn't do that, he'll probably send flames down it and scorch you. And if he doesn't just do that, he'll obliterate your entire upper body leaving just a bloody skeleton. He's a mean dude. Anyways, just don't get hit with that. It's bad.

Number 4:

A resident of Hell? Scorpion can get backup.

If you couldn't already tell by the fact that Kurtis Stryker and Jackson Briggs are allowed guns in a fight, and that Shang Tsung can steal parts of your soul mid-combat, and that Noob and Smoke can tag-team, and that the Shokan have 4 arms but can participate in fights with normal people (and many, many more issues besides), the rules in a Mortal Kombat fight are a little blurry. Scorpion isn't the first person to abuse this, and he most likely won't be the last. Scorpion can bring his little hellish buddies from the Netherrealm and into the fight, for a cheeky divekick or an immobilising grab. When you're fighting Scorpion, Scorpion isn't your only problem. Just saying. Be careful.

Number 5:

Ghost Rider? Scorpion's real face.

A mask is used to mask someone's appearance. It's what ninjas do. Reptile does it well, and so does Scorpion. Unbeknownst to some, Scorpion's real face isn't a normal one. It's a flaming freaking skull that can breathe fire. Spooky. Without his mask, Scorpion can unleash even more fiery potential, including a mega-sneeze that can and will burn all of your skin and flesh off, or make you explode. He'll also look way cooler than you, which is always a bad thing.

And there you have it. 5 tips for dealing with Scorpion. Thus ends this chapter of the "Hellish Kombatants" section of the survival guide.


The next chapter is already underway on the obvious choice of Sub-Zero. But besides that, feel free to suggest another kombatant for a survival page!

Contribute to the MKSG in a wonderful way by suggesting a kharacter! Thank you for reading!