Author: I'm so sad.
JP: Why, young paddawan?
Author: I will never ever ever ever own Maximum Ride. Or Fang.
JP: It is okay.
Author: Really?
JP: Yes.
Author: *smiles* Okay then!
JP: Have you read my new book?
Author: Aww, I'm sad again.
JP: Why?
Author: Fang loves Max.
JP: Why I guess he does.
Author: I love Fang!
JP: Why I guess you do.
Author: Why can't Fang love a fan-girl like me?
JP: *Runs over to Fang, asks him this question, and gets his reply* He says Max would surely kill him.
Author: What if someone *coughs nervously while looking at JP* were to kill Max?
JP: Who would that someone be?
Author: Ahem, *stares at JP*
JP: Oh! You mean me?
Author: It took ya long enough!
JP: I don't think I could do that… *acts nervous*
Author: And why not??
JP: Umm, uuhh, she would get mad at me!
Author: Oh puh-pleez. Why is everyone so scared of Max?
JP: They just are, I guess.
Author: But Max is sooooo not cool… I bet I could beat her in a fight!
*Max walks up behind Author*
Max: Excuse me?
Author, unaware that Max is behind her: I mean, she is so full of herself!
Max: What? *Shows herself*
Author: Oh schnitzel.
Max: Yea, that's rig- wait, what?
Author: I said schnitzel.
Max: What is that?
Author: It is a traditional Austrian dish and is a popular part of Viennese and Austrian cuisine, consisting of a thin slice of veal coated in breadcrumbs and –
Max: Yes yes okay. Now where were we?
Author: I was about to tell you about schnitzels.
Max: Yeah… no.
*Max steps menacingly closer to Author, who is now cowering in her chair*
JP: Young paddawan, may the force be with you.
