AN:Some years ago, during my daily inspections of channels I had the chance (or better said ) the misfortune of discover a really bad show called "Lost" (Lost? What is lost? Maybe the writers of that series, becaue they were totally clueless about proper storytelling heh-mI made that joke)
After hearing so many good things about such sweries I decided to watch it anyway and oh boy and girls it was bad. Yes, my dear friends, boys and girls that show was pretty bad, probably the worst written show ever written. It was pretty bad.
As the noble and inspired genius as I am I feel my immense intelligence insulted by the nonsensical plot of Lost. It was a very bad series, so I decided to reqwrite it completely, using the characters of an actual good show: House M.D.
So now, brace yourself to see a new and improved version of Lost, written me! You can thank me later! ;)
*A NEW version of Lost*: Insert musical theme tune.
(Not the one of Lost-terrible series- but the theme of HOUSE M.D which is actuallty a good series. Watch House M.D.!)
chapter 1: a begnning
House md opened his crystalline cerulean eyes very slowly. He then closed them. Then he opened then again. He then blinked and a semitransparent tear emerged from his crystalline cerulean eye, light blue as the blue sky in a warm spring morning.
"what the h**l happened? (Im not saying that word ;)) asked house as he opened his eyes, and then he realized he was on the beach. On a beach on somewhwere, probably an island.
A very distant island, far away from any known civilizatiom
"what the h**l?" house asked again, this time in a very clear, loud voice but nobody answered his question, except the disgustingly fat seagulls on the beach which were cawing in a mocking manner. (I hate seagulls, they are like ugly chicken . everytime I see I seagull I feel veruy angry)
Dr. house was very angry so he throw some stonesat the seagulls that were cawing mockingly in the beach.
"Oh f***k you and f***k you too!" – dr house screamed as he throwed some stones at the seagulls.
Then he startedwalking across the beach looking worried and frowing huis manly dog-like face.
"This cant be. How this happened? What happened yesterday? Where are my friends? Where I am? What is this place?"
House asked himself, but nobody asked him save for the mocking fat seagulls.
"Lorde, how much In hate these fat seagulls" House said himself .
Then he feel the necessity to urinate.
The urgent necessity to urinate, and he never had his cane at hand.
"Lorde, how much I miss my cane. I remember use it to hit dogs in the streets."
House fondly remembered all the times he used his cane to hit dogs in the kmean streets of the American city where he lived. And he feel happy remembering all the times he hit all those dogs with his metal cane.
And the happiness almost made him to lose his desire to urinate, but then (after a while) he remembered he had to urinate again.
"Fuck" House said. " I need to urinate, but I think that if I left the beach, something bad will happen. Plus, there aren't any bathroom on sight aso I will have to go on the little jungle that is this island but that could be dangerous. 2
I guess I wold have to think before going into the jungle to pee.
House then remembered stacy. And then house said himself:
"Lorde, I wish Stacy was here. I remembered we were married, but then she left me for drugging myslf too much. D*MN drugs! F***king drugs ruined my life!"
House wanted to cry, but he needed to go to urinate, so he decided to take the risk to go inside the jungle to urinate.
It wasd the start of a very dangerous journey for him.
To be continued.
