~Broken hearts can't mend, can they?~

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. I wish I did, then it would have been all Dair since the pilot and our minds and eyes wouldn't have suffered seeing the chair show.

Warning: It's all the way an angsty chapter and I'm on Dan's side to this, so don't read if you don't like. It follows after season 5 finale and everything has happened as in the show until then except for Dan leaving with Georgina and starting a new book. Dan's pov.

xxx

How could she do that to him? And why was it done anyway? She wasn't even going to break up with him face to face? He didn't deserve even that?

Dan made his way into his loft thinking it was a miracle he wasn't hit by a car on his way here, or that his feet had found their way home on their own.

He slammed the door behind him, grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the kitchen –didn't even bother with a glass- and settled on his couch to drink.

His head was a mess; thoughts kept going round inside it and made him dizzy or even crazy.

He didn't understand.

Yes, it was just as simple as that. He couldn't understand.

I told Chuck he doesn't own my heart any more .I realized today it belongs to someone else..

We are a team.

Blair I told you I loved you…

Do you even want to be in this relationship?

He knew the truth was there somewhere but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

She had dismissed him; she had tossed him aside like he meant nothing to her. She had used him to regain her confidence and herself back, and there wasn't a single sign of quilt from her. Or an apology. Or an explanation.

Not a single fucking word from her, till now. And he didn't think he'll get one soon.

He drank more from the burning liquid and scorched his throat in the process. There was a knot there threatening to burst anytime now and it made him feel just that tiny bit worse- if even possible.

How could she treat him that way when he had only been her friend all along and only cared for her well-being, most times despite his own needs?

He couldn't get it. He didn't understand.

His stare fell on the counter beside the kitchen and he remembered when she had popped up to share her feelings of failure and they had ended up watching The Philadelphia Story.

He then turned to the door and an image of Blair in her lingerie came to his mind instead.

And then another one of her, coming to tell him to help her escape at the Hamptons.

Take me there.

If you'd been that guy with Serena, how could she not love you?

I want you to be happy. Tell me what would make you happy Dan..

I've been in denial…

I realized today it belongs to someone else.

Fuck.

He didn't understand.

He drank his way until the small hours of the day, and when the night gave its place to a bright morning sun which seemed to relish on his despair, he passed out.

xxx

He woke up the next day- or was it the day after the next? - to a loud knocking on his door which threatened to break the fine walnut doorframe.

He ignored it all the same and congratulated himself for remembering to lock the damn thing this time.

It was her advice he had followed.

The knocks stopped after a while -but not the pounding in his aching head- only to be replaced by a ringtone that he right now despised.

He didn't answer; he didn't even shift to glimpse the number on the screen.

He wasn't in that mood.

He grabbed the bottle of whisky beside him, only to discover it was already empty.

With clumsy and unstable movements, tripping over his own feet, he managed to reach the fridge and grab two bottles of beer.

He had to go shopping now; he would run out of alcohol soon.

Fuck again.

xxx

Next day was also same as the previous.

He drank again. He swore again. He blamed her again.

This time though, tears came along to accompany his mourning.

He felt the first running down his cheek and he made to brush it with his hand when he caught an unfamiliar scent. It was Serena's scent and remembering the sex, he felt worse. He wasn't much better from her.

She had ruined him. Period.

He walked determinedly to his bathroom and nearly scratched his skin in the effort to remove the dirt of the Upper East Side off him.

xxx

Her visit, and his downfall, came in the end of the second shit week that had followed.

She knocked very light, and he opened waiting the delivery of his mail, but found her instead.

He was shocked. And speechless.

And angry. But speechless nonetheless.

She offered him a look that didn't betray anything and moved past him to the familiar sitting room.

She didn't sit down, possibly thinking that it would make her seem more vulnerable and Blair Waldorf hated being vulnerable or appearing to be so. Only after five long minutes did he followed her inside.

He nodded in acknowledgement and waited for her to speak.

He didn't sit either.

Blair looked around taking in the picture of a messy sitting room, empty alcohol bottles and dirty surfaces. It was tell-tale and Dan despised himself for opening the door without seeing who she was. He didn't want her to know that he was broken.

But she didn't want to know that either. She didn't want to feel guilty, she never felt that way.

"Humphrey.." she greeted finally in a small tone barely above a whisper.

Humphrey? Was that the first thing she wanted to tell him after everything?

He shook his head in disbelief.

"What do you want?" he offered instead.

"I want to talk, obviously .."

"Turn around and leave Waldorf. And close that door behind, would you?" he said and made his way to his bedroom.

Many hours passed, or was it just a few minutes?, before she followed him inside the bedroom.

He was sat in the edge of his bed, hands on his knees waiting for the noise of the door closing. It never came.

She stepped in, her temper rising.

"Really Humphrey?" she mocked "Are you going to play the victim here? I lower myself to come and talk with you, figure this out and you dismiss me? I don't think so! If I recall correctly you weren't much better than me that day. You fucked Serena after all, don't play innocent to me!"

He stood up.

"Did I mention I didn't? No. I take full responsibility for my actions. Unlike you. I don't think there's anything I want to tell you so I kindly ask you to get the hell out of my house!" he spat, tone rising along with anger.

"Humphrey, tough luck! We are going to discuss this you want it or not! Everyone is blaming me for your…situation and I want to make clear I'm not solely responsible for your downfall…You played your part in it too. You didn't even wait for my decision before you crawled between her thighs, did you?"

"Are you serious? You think it wasn't obvious by then what your choice had been? Didn't even call me, did you? You always avoid the unimportant acts, you didn't even bother to break up with me before you shoved your happiness with Bass-tard in my face!" he accused.

"How dare you? I hadn't even made my mind yet, you betrayed me with Serena, your eternal love as I always knew you would!"

"You knew?" he laughed, a cruel laugh nowhere near comforting." You knew? How about going back to Chuck, you think I didn't know? Your diary? Enough Blair! Get out of my face before I do something I will regret! You made your decision, I made mine, end of story!" he yelled.

She slapped him.

Hard.

In a rushed decision that he was definitely going to regret later, he grabbed her neck and launched his mouth on her lips.

After a tiny moment of shock or hesitation, she responded with equal amounts of passion.

She kissed, licked, sucked and bite on his lips.

Soon Dan could taste blood in his mouth.

Her blood, his blood, he had no idea. Nor did he really care to know.

Her fists went straight to his shoulders, scratching his skin and leaving territorial marks behind.

He was hers, he had always been.

His fingers mixed with her silky hair while his other hand went to unbutton her shirt. Blair, then, attacked to his buttons and nearly ripped them of his shirt. He didn't give a shit.

Her hand went lower.

He slammed her on the wall, relishing the thud he heard that meant no pleasure, but pain.

Her skirt lifted high on her thighs when she placed her legs around his body, and she moaned inside his mouth from the contact.

It didn't last long.

But then, it was never meant to.

The ever gentleman he was, he transferred her to his bed after and collapsed beside her full of annoying thoughts.

Angry sex, violent, harsh.

Meant to hurt, not to please.

He had never done that before and if he was sane, he wouldn't have done it now either.

Dan rose from his own bed at once and put back on his clothes, while observing her laying there, eyes closed.

He couldn't make out a single flaw in her, but he knew the flaws were there.

He would probably never know why on earth he neared her to place a kiss on her forehead –thank God he didn't finish his idiotic action- before he left his loft. He blamed those little lingering feelings that remained, despite everything that had happened, everything she had done.

He had to fight harder to suppress them, if not kill them right away.

So, he made a promise to himself that he wouldn't repeat today's mistake.

He shouldn't have, for he was never able to resist her and she had really tried harder to seduce him this time.

xxx

The situation continued, always the same.

She would phone him and request for a meeting, but he would deny trying to save his pride. She then would come at the loft and all his refusals would simmer away at her sight. Sex was there always–it was about it that she came after all- and every time it would be quick, hard and fast.

Cheap, in one word.

None of them seemed to care though.

Blair, of course, continued dating Chuck, she wouldn't leave her bright future slip from her hands now, would she?

He hated himself for being the third person, so mush had she lowered him that his once judgmental self didn't protest with his new low morals.

He had convinced himself that it didn't matter, it was Chuck fucking Bass she cheated after all, but how better did that make him from them?

Did he even care? He seemed to be consumed by her all over again. He realized he practically lived for those stolen moments in his loft, and he knew it wasn't healthy.

But he shouldn't have worried about that. It was her who ended it once again.

It always was her.

xxx

"Chuck offered me an engagement ring.." she said getting her dress up her shoulders while he put on his boxers.

He didn't look up, but his fingers froze to the spot.

"I'm going to accept.." she finished saying, eyeing him from the mirror in her bedroom.

They had eventually used her place too, for their intimate sessions. It was inevitable.

He continued with his clothes, until he was fully dressed again.

He didn't speak. She half-closed her eyes suspicious at his indifference.

"What?" she asked impatiently "aren't you going to say anything?"

"What do you want me to do? Beg you not to marry him?" he mocked.

"Well I don't see why you shouldn't…?"

He laughed. Not a funny one, more of a dismissive.

"I don't care Blair." He added "You should do what you want; you know what you're doing right? You always do"

"No, not always.." she said with a surprising sad tone that slashed something inside his soul.

"You'd better know this time.. There would be no fixing wrong decisions, it's a marriage after all.."

He subconscious gave her the ultimatum.

If you marry, there would be no return. And no fucking, for the matter.

She gave it a full five minutes' thought before she answered. He wasn't surprised this time.

"I know what I'm doing.." she said finally trying to sound convincing.

"No, I don't think you do, but I'm not gonna try to change your mind. Be happy Waldorf." He said and turned on his heel to leave.

He didn't look back.

Not once, although he could hear her calling his name.

Humphrey come back! Dan!

His footsteps echoed on the marble steps of her front door as he made his way to exit, but his thoughts were even louder.

Fine, let her destroy her life, lie to herself all she wanted. Live the life she secretly dreaded, the one she was designed to live since the day she was born.

She was doing him a favor, in the long run, releasing him was a gift he would come to appreciate later.

He knew he'd be okay in the end; this was not the Blair he fell for anyway.

It was always Upper East Side after all.

He never truly belonged there and frankly, he didn't want to anymore.

xxx

a/n: there it is..I got it out of my system…I am considering writing another one, or maybe two chapters for this story, but only if you really want me to. I wrote it at first as one-shot, but I'm willing to continue if you'd like me to.! So, would you like me to continue? If so, you know what to do! Review, Review, Review! It only takes some seconds and it makes me extremely happy!

Also I'm not entirely sure that my rating is correct, so if you think it's not please tell me so.. If you notice any mistakes, please let me know so as to fix them.

For those who read my other story, "They Belong Together" you'll be happy to know that I'll be –finally- posting the epilogue chapter soon and I apologize for the wait!

Again thanks for reading and lend me your thoughts please, I'm really anxious and I'm dying to know what you think!

Victoria.