Summery:

Haldir took a revenge on someone.

Why is he not happy with it?

Will he be punished?

Paring: Haldir and Arwen

Disclaimer: I own none of the following character or settings. All of them belong to the Tolkien estate.

Author's Note: This idea is just my fantasy. If you don't like the paring, please ignore this fiction.

Chapter 1: Am I Guilty?

Arwen arrived the prison that jailed Haldir. She felt terrify and couldn't stop to shiver. Her heartbeats became faster than usual and she even had no courage to get in there. The cold wind blew her pale face and frozen her delicate body. She couldn't imagine how Haldir could suffer the situation of this bad weather? Could he survive? Could he?

"Welcome. Princess Arwen." The prison warden bowed to her.

"May I see Haldir for a while? My lord?" Arwen stared at him with anxious.

"Sure. Please follow me. My lady. By the way, please just call me Caunion." He smiled with Arwen

"Thank you, Caunion." It's totally beyond her expectations. She couldn't believe it would be that easy.

She followed the Caunion silently. The prison is so dark and humid, she felt dizzy.

"Are you all right? Princess? " Arwen see the concern full of the Caunion's eyes.

"Yes. I am fine." She smiled reluctantly.

Caunion said nothing then they stop in front of a small room.

"Go to see him. My lady. Give him some mercy. I'll look for you later."

He opened the door and left Arwen alone.

"Mercy?" Arwen confused

Afterward, she realized what did Caunion has mentioned.

She saw a horrible vision; Haldir has been chained and his body almost naked. His head hung and blood dropped from his head continuously. His body has been lashed and beat. There are many serious wounds in every part of his body.

Arwen gasped. She felt as if the sky and earth were spinning round. She couldn't believe that they tortured him in such this way. Actually, she hated Haldir deeply. She also wanted he die. However, when she saw his situation, she stupefied.

"Who is there?" Arwen heard a feeble voice.

"Another game will start? How impetuous you gays…." weak but full irony…Yes, that was the Marchwarden used to be speaking frivolous.

Arwen slapped his face like fury suddenly.

"A…Arwen?" Haldir stunned.

"I think I was wrong to come here." Arwen yelled at him.

"Indeed…" Haldir replied sarcastically "Here is not a good place for our highness."

"How could you? How could you say that?" Arwen exasperated

"For your own good, please do not stay here. This is not a good idea to come here." Haldir keep his eyes downcast when he talked to Arwen

"Why you avoid seeing me? Look at me, Haldir. Look at my eyes." Arwen grabbed his jaw and force him to stare at her.

"No! No!" Haldir tried to turn his head away and start to struggle.

"Stop to do foolish thing! Haldir."Arwen spoke harshly,

"Just leave me alone…" Haldir implored

"Do you feel guilt to see me?" Arwen bawled.

"Arwen…" Haldir whispered "I'll pay you back for that I have done to you. Lady Galadriel has her judgment. I was sentence to death."

"Death penalty?" Arwen shocked. It's really unusual that Elf in charge for capital sentence. Criminal Elf always sent into banishment before. She doesn't know why her grandmother had this decision. She is always proud of her Marchwarden and takes care for him sincerely. Why she became heartless? Did she really want to kill Haldir resolutely?

"Yes." Haldir nodded slowly "They will enforce the hanging tomorrow. I hope my death can give you some peace…"

"No!" Arwen covered her ears "Even though you died. I still doubt of I can feel peace. Why they decide it without my permission?"

"The reason for them is their love and they want to protect you from harm. The reason for me is I deserve to be punished." Haldir replied quietly

"Haldir…Could you please tell me why? Why you did it to me?" Arwen murmured

"May I take this secret to the Hall of Mandos?" Haldir whispered

"You know that is unfair to me." Arwen touched his pale face gently. Her tender movements not only wiped Haldir's suffering away but also smashed his defense.

"Oh! Arwen…I am such a demon. How dare I do it to you? You are my dearest friend. I am sorry…" Finally, Haldir crashed by her gentle touch.

"Haldir…please calm down…" Arwen stroked his silver hair soothingly "Tell me the truth… Fight for your conscience, fight for me…"

"Arwen…" Haldir tried to make his breath stable "I did it to you just for my pathetic revenge…I done what was your brothers done to me."

"You mean Elrohir and Elladan?" Arwen gave him an astonished look.

"Yes. Your evil twin brothers they are so shameless." Haldir grinded his teeth in anger" I sent to Imladris by Lady of Light last month. I had no idea why they made me drunk unconsciously then raped me over and over. When I awoke, my nether regions were in pain extremely. I was panicking and trying to stand up but I failed. They mocked me as a "Whore." I stood up hardly and want to fight with them. They grabbed my elbow and slapped me repeatedly until the blood dripped from my nose violently.

After, they threw me to the ground roughly and left. I was so pissing them off! I swore to Valar. I will be revenge that insult. Accidentally, I was thinking about you, their beloved youngest sister…and I…" He hesitated

"And you did the same thing to me?" Arwen cried in fear "By the Valar. I think you are my best friend. How come you betrayed my trust and took my innocence away ruthlessly? "

"I…I am so regretting for hurt you deeply." Haldir choked with sobs "I feel so… sorry for you. Arwen, I know you will never forgive me but I still pray to Valar can take your sorrow and pain away soon. I can't stand to see you suffering this nightmare."

Arwen mired in difficulties. In depths of her heart, she did wish Haldir to die. However, she also melted by Haldir's reaction. She has been Haldir's friend for quite long time. When they were just an elfling, they played under the mallorn trees happily.

Centuries passed, they grew older. He started to take the duty in border. He always greeted her there when Arwen visit Lothlórien. She could see a slightly of joy show on his face. He changed a lot. His physical become a mature and tall Elf. He also changes his attitude. He treated her politely and formal.

At first, she didn't like the way he talked to her.

After that, she found out herself still like Haldir be her companion. They could talk for a long time under the starry star. He is a good listener and never been tired of her. She really cares about Haldir. She also knows Haldir care about her equally. She doesn't know how to dealing with this situation now. She started to whimper. She didn't understand why her heart ached for Haldir. She should be happy for this judgment. Shouldn't she? Should she?

"HALDIR OF L'ORIEN! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU……" Arwen screamed with him and ran away

Haldir said nothing; he let himself against the cold wall. At least, he could see his lovely friend once more. He contented. He smiled to himself bitterly…

TBC….