Left behind

by: aragon asten

extended summary: Youko Nakajima accepted her throne with the knowledge that her old life is over. But what if there was something she had forgotten? Or someone? Someone so precious that would bring a compulsion to go back. But what about those she would leave behind?


PART 1

Chapter 1- Dreams

She stared at one of the wide, metallic doorways in the airport, which lead to a passageway, up into the plane.

It was empty now, save for the smiling but strained face of the attendant who checked for latecomers who might still come.

But she needn't worry.

All of them were already inside… including him.

Youko knew that. Still, she couldn't help but stare at the last place, where she saw his face, his sad smile, his glittering eyes as he bid her farewell. She thought, she felt tears roll across her cheeks, and unto the starkness of her lips. But there was nothing.

She was already too withered, too shriveled, totally dried up. The only thing left was this gaping emptiness which gnawed at her insides, crippling her. And yet the void, the numbness was the only thing preventing her from falling down on her knees to wallow in grief.

He was going away…possibly forever… How could she bear it? How could she possibly bear it!

Youko closed her eyes in utter wretchedness. Turning her head, she wrenched herself from the spot.

THUMP!

"Ow! Watch where your goi- Uh wait! I'm sorry I didn't know you were a girl!"

Youko opened her eyes to glance at a dark-haired boy lying sprawled upon the floor.

"I'm sorry!" she cried out, giving him a hand.

"It's all right, it's all right," he waved off as he quickly righted himself. Looking up, he glanced at her with his big dark eyes, which immediately widened upon seeing Youko's outfit.

"Hey! We're wearing the same uniform," he commented, his lips cracking into a grin. "We're from the same junior high!"

"Uhh… yeah, I guess so," Youko mumbled softly, unable to force herself to smile back.

"What year level are you?" He asked curiously.

She told him in barely more than a whisper.

He laughed in reply. "That's great! What a coincidence. We could even be classmates. Wow! By the way, I'm Asano."

Youko gazed at him for a moment, wondering how she could bear to speak to this cheerful person, when right this moment, her heart seemed to be twisted in knots. Lowering her head, she whispered a broken, "Nakajima…," and was about to excuse herself from his painfully happy presence, when a sudden noise from overhead, involuntary made her whip her head towards the wide windows of the airport, where a plane was soaring across the late afternoon sky.

Her lips trembled.

"Someone you know?"

Upon hearing Asano's voice, Youko wrenched her eyes from the sight, to look at the boy's face who was laced with sad understanding. She gazed back into the sky before, nodding a woeful yes.

Asano sighed.

"That person must be pretty sad when he left."

"…"

Asano looked at Youko who was staring back at the sky.

"He must be down right miserable…"

"What do you mean?" Youko whispered, her eyes never leaving the speck in the sky.

"Well," he muttered, shrugging his shoulders. "The hardest part of leaving a place is when you know you left someone behind."

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You're right…

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Kei-ou woke up.

She wasn't really surprised that upon waking up, she didn't see bright daylight greeting her from the windows to her right, or the cheerful chirping of birds as they nested upon the trees near her chamber. Neither did she expect the soft, almost inaudible sound of her attendants as they made ready for the empress' morning rituals.

It was still night. As usual…

Getting up from the innumerable folds and linens of her massive bed, the empress of Kei slipped into a robe of black silk, which mirrored the vast shades of the sky. Save for the bright upside down grin of the moon, the sky was a desert of inky black darkness.

And how, did Kei-ou hate it!

In every dark spot, in every black void, his face shone clearly as sunlight. In the maddening stillness of the atmosphere, she could easily hear his voice.

But at least for now, she was slightly used to it. For the past weeks, she would wake up each night, and once awake, she would be unable to go back to sleep. Insomnia, they called it, back in Horai- or Japan as she used to call it, then. Five years ago… long enough to make her forget memories of the past that was no longer necessary to her existence in this world.

But that wasn't the problem! The problem was that it was all coming back. "It was because of those dreams," Kei-ou apprehended. Memory-dreams, she called it, because it recalled days from the past.

And it all had to do with him! Him!

His face, his touch, the way he held her, the day they met, the day they finally parted. Some days were better, because she dreamed of the happier times, before he left, before he reduced into her a girl incapable of dreams, and aspirations, a girl whose only longing was to please the world so that when the world relented, he could finally come back to her. And finally, caught up with life who wanted so much from her, she was forced to forget.

And she had already forgotten him! Buried him deep within the darkest corners of her brain, where even her shadow Azuru could never use it against her.

But why was he back! Why is his memory suddenly taunting her every night.

She could see him now. Every thing she had buried was rising to the surface, and each and every detail she had cherished was embedding itself to her heart once more.

She could see him in the shadows. In the trees. In the moonlight. In the glass. In the call of a stray bird. In the smooth wooshh of the curtains. In the-

Something behind her stirred!

She turned around.

It was him! Him!

Almost immediately, an involuntary cry burst out of her lips.

"Your majesty?"

Kei-ou blinked.

The worried eyes of her kirin, and his tall, silent figure, broke through her reverie. Lowering her head in embarrassment, she was about to order him out, when his deep voice cut through her thoughts.

"In your tongue, that means, my love…, isn't it?"

From the darkness, Kei-ou found herself caught in the throes of a blush.

"No! No! No-wait…ah-I-I mean..yes-yes…yes!" Keiki stammered lamely, then froze when she saw the dark and unreadable expression creeping into Kei-taiho's eyes. Suddenly she found herself saying, "But it wasn't for you!"

And she would have bitten her lips, upon realizing her words, inwardly cursing herself for her stupidity.

Meanwhile, Keiki's eyes widened at this outburst. Unable to help himself, he lowered his head, saying in a grave manner.

"Your highness, I'm apologize for interrupting you at his late hour, but Suzu, Shoukei and your attendants have informed me of your deviance from normal sleeping patterns this past three weeks. And I can surmise that they are right."

"Are they?" Kei-ou whispered from the balcony, where she had chosen to retreat herself.

"Yes, your highness," Keiki answered, gazing into the back of the empress who was staring at the shadows.

"I see." Kei-ou said. Then she sighed. "Don't worry about it, Keiki. It doesn't bother me, at all."

"But, your highness, it seems that lately, your attention has been wavering, and often at times, you would become distracted from your work."

"…"

"That is why, I have asked for Enho's assistance in procuring a sleeping herb. If you take it, it will, perhaps, help you sleep."

A long silence.

"Will you take it, your highness?"

After another long period of silence, Kei-ou spoke.

"Will-Will it-will it remove my dreams?"

Keiki's brow furrowed but he answered in the same grave manner, "I am not completely sure. But it may provide for you a dreamless slumber."

"I see." Nodding her head, Youko turned around, and gazed at Keiki with a tired smile.

"Very well. Have it prepared for me." Closing her eyes in weariness, she waited for Keiki to leave.

"Oh, and Keiki?" she whispered in a thready whisper, when he stood at the threshold of her room.

"Yes, your highness?"

"Thank you. Thank you very much…"

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