A/N- I recently read a one shot where Damon was the victim and I really loved it so I decided to write this one shot where Stefan was the victim. Please tell me what you guys think. Thanks!
Warning-Self harm involved
Stefan Salvatore entered the house and gave a huge sigh. He was dreading every single thing he had done in his life, from the day he turned into a vampire until the day he lost Elena. And that's how he was feeling, lost. Stefan didn't know if he should scream, cry, or just simply sit still. Stefan lost Elena to his own brother and he told everyone he was fine, but why would he be fine? He felt terrible and there was an aching pain inside of him that wouldn't go away.
Stefan headed to the living room where he sat down on his chair after he poured some bourbon into his glass. He slowly drank the liquid and when the glass was away from his mouth, there was a light smirk on his face. Such a Damon thing to do, he thought to himself and tried to place the glass on the table without looking, but failed when he heard glass shattering on the floor. Stefan put his hands on his head with a loud sigh in frustration. Damon's going to kill him when he finds out his brother broke another one of his glasses.
Stefan bent down and was going to start picking up the glass when he suddenly stopped. He was amazed at how the glass reflected from the light, making it very bright and drawing. Stefan felt so compelled to it that he picked up the piece with his bare hand and soonly felt it pierce his skin. To his surprise, he enjoyed the slight pain it gave him, it made him feel free. But to his disappointment the feeling soon went away as his palm quickly healed the cut it once had. Stefan squeezed the piece of glass in anger of his healing ability but then the same feeling he had once before came back as the blood dripped down his arm. Stefan absolutely loved how he felt, like if his humanity was off for a minute. Like before, his hand healed the cut quickly and it looked like nothing ever happened except for the blood that was still there. Stefan continued gripping pieces of glass in his hand enjoying every single moment his cuts open and the blood would slowly come out. This continued on for a while until he was about to pick up another glass but suddenly stopped.
"What am I doing?" Stefan thought as he looked down at himself. He quickly got up when he saw the big mess he made. His shirt and jeans covered in his own blood with the shattered glass still on the floor, unpicked up. Stefan was still processing what he had done when he saw the clock. 5:35 pm. Had he actually been sitting, cutting, himself for over an hour? Then Stefan remembered something else. Damon. He could have walked in on Stefan at any time and would have killed Stefan for what he did. Stefan speeded up to his room, into the bathroom, and locked the door behind him in case Damon would suddenly appear. Stefan quickly took off his clothes and hid them so no one can see what he had done. Stefan decided to take a quick shower so he can get all the blood off him. He would just have to clean up the mess downstairs later.
When Stefan came out of the shower, he pulled on a shirt and put some jeans on. Stefan was trying to forget what he done downstairs and continued to stare at his reflection on the mirror he had in his room when something caught his eye. In the mirror he saw a sharp wooden stake that was behind him. Stefan turned around, away from the mirror and saw it clearer now instead of just a reflection. It was one of the wooden stakes they kept around the house in case a vampire tried to attack them. Like the glass, Stefan was drawn to the piece of wood but this time stopped himself. I can't cut myself again, Damon could come in at any moment and see what I am doing, Stefan thought to himself. Then a little memory came back to Stefan to the time he was caught cutting himself back in 1863.
Mystic Falls 1863
"I hate everything." Cut "Why did everyone have to leave me?" Cut. Stefan Salvatore had a pocket knife in his hand and was cutting across his arm, from top to bottom. He repeated doing this to his left arm and when he didn't have enough room to continue cutting, he began on his right. Stefan was feeling a mixture of sadness and anger at himself. A few days ago he was planning to runaway with a girl he was deeply in loved with, Valerie, but she never showed up. Also his brother who was in the army hadn't responded back to any of Stefan's letters in a month and when he confronted his Father about this he said, "It may be possible Damon didn't survive the dangerous war. Soon enough we might receive the letter regarding his death." Giuseppe simply said. What his father said hurt Stefan and as the days passed by without anything, he started believing his father's words. Damon is dead and Stefan will never be able to see him.
When Stefan was done with both arms, he was actually angrier now. Angry at how he won't be able to cut himself until his arms healed, and the thought of waiting for a while made it worse.
Suddenly Stefan jumped when he heard a knock on his door. He quickly rolled down his shirt's sleeves down and saw that that the white shirt didn't help to hide the cuts, it actually made it worse so he hid them under his bed covers hoping it was just a servant that would soon leave.
"Come in." He quietly said, unable to find his voice. When the door opened Stefan's eyes widened at the person. It was his brother, Damon, who stood by the door with a light smile.
"D-Damon?" Stefan stuttered while hiding his arms behind his back and getting up from his bed, still shocked at what he was seeing.
"The one and only, little brother." Damon said with a smirk. Stefan quickly went over to Damon and hugged him as tightly as he could, completely forgetting about the cuts due to his happiness. Damon smiled and was hugging him back when something caught his eye on Stefan's bed. Stefan's bed covers had big stains of blood, giving Damon a confused look. He then looked down at Stefan's arm that was wrapped around him and saw his brother's shirt sleeve full of blood. Damon gasped and quickly let go of Stefan. The elder Salvatore stared at his brother who didn't understand what was wrong and then Damon looked down and stared at his bloody shirt in shock. Stefan was still confused and followed Damon's gaze when his heart skipped a beat. With his brother's sudden returning, Stefan had completely forgotten what he had done to himself that afternoon.
"Damon-I can explain." Stefan quickly said while trying to hide his arms behind his back. Damon now looked up at Stefan again with the same shock he had until he found his words.
"Come here." Damon said, almost in a whisper. Stefan gave a confused look, expecting him to sound angrier but then he understood what Damon wanted. Stefan slowly took a step back.
"Come here I said." Damon said louder and stricter. Stefan bit his lip and slowly shook his head and took another step back. Stefan was terrified at what Damon would do to him.
Damon, very angry now, went over to Stefan and furiously grabbed both of Stefan's arms. Stefan tried not to let out a shriek of pain at how tight Damon was gripping his arms. Damon pulled both of Stefan's sleeves up and revealed the fresh, bloody cuts.
"What were you doing, Stefan? You think it's okay to waste your flesh like that? While I've been at war with many people sacrificing their life to fight you've been here hurting yourself on purpose?!" Damon continued yelling in anger at his little brother. Although Damon was angry, he was actually scared at what he caught Stefan doing.
When Damon was done yelling at him, Stefan didn't know what to say. He didn't know what he was thinking the first time he cut himself. He didn't think anyone would care after he thought Damon was dead.
It had been silent for a few seconds and the only thing that was happening was the Salvatore brothers staring at each other. Damon waiting for a response and Stefan still lost for words. Finally to break the silence, Stefan opened his mouth but soon realized was a bad decision when tears started to come out of his eyes instead and soon enough started sobbing. Damon quickly pulled Stefan in as his brother grabbed fistfuls of Damon's shirt and continued sobbing into his brother's shoulder. Damon on the other hand tried to calm him down by rubbing his back as he continued to let Stefan cry. Stefan felt like a little kid again, Damon scolding him and Stefan crying for getting into trouble with his brother tried to soothe him afterwards.
After a while Stefan finally found his voice after he had managed to stop crying.
"I thought you were dead." Stefan said into Damon's shoulder. Damon stopped rubbing his back, surprised at his brother's response. Stefan stepped away from Damon so now they were facing each other again.
"You stopped responding my letters. And I-I told Father and he said you might have died at war. So I believed him." Stefan said apologetically. He wiped his tears away with his sleeve but flinched in pain when his arm touched his face. Damon only stared at him, his turn to be lost of words.
"I have told you to not listen to one of father's lies." Damon started. "It was difficult out there and I never had the time to write. I'm sorry." He said and Stefan looked up at his brother while Damon wiped a tear from Stefan's cheek. The youngest Salvatore could see he really meant it by looking at his face.
"But that doesn't mean you should go cut yourself either just because you think I'm dead." He continued and Stefan swallowed afraid that the conversation wasn't over yet. "I need you to promise me that no matter what happens to me you won't go all sad and depressed, you just have to try to forget about me, okay?" He asked his little brother. Stefan didn't know if he could promise that, forgetting about his brother, but gave a nod anyways.
"And I need you to promise that you will never cut yourself again, got it?" Damon said while getting Stefan's arm and showing it to him.
"I promise." Stefan answered. And he was sure of that because as long as he had his brother he knew he was going to be fine.
Damon pulled Stefan in for another hug since their first one got ruined. Stefan stared ahead at the blank wall when he suddenly blurted out,
"You will always be here to take care of me, right?" Stefan asked. Stefan couldn't imagine living in this world without his brother protecting him.
"I will always be here for you." Damon answered back and the two Salvatore's continued standing in the center of the room as they hugged.
"If you'll always be taking care of me, why aren't you with me now?" Stefan said to himself. He looked down and finally decided what to do. If Damon broke one of his promises Stefan is allowed to do the same. Stefan walked over to the stake, picked it up, and used it to cut across his arm. Stefan was satisfied with his decision and repeated it over and over. Cut. Bleed. Heal. Repeat. He was enjoying every part in what was he doing. The aching pain that was once inside him seems like it never existed. This went on for a long time and soon his clothes were filled with blood once again. At one point he had been cutting himself too much that his healing ability was slowing down and you could faintly see the cuts down both arms. When Stefan felt better he decided he should clean the mess up downstairs he had done earlier but put on a jacket first in case Damon would walk in. Stefan happily got out of his room and started walking downstairs when Stefan froze as he entered the living room. Stefan was staring right into the eyes of a very angry Damon Salvatore. When had he come in? Stefan thought.
"What were you doing up there, brother?" Damon asked with a stern tone.
"Nothing." Stefan blurted out. He knew perfectly well that was the wrong answer. In a second Stefan was pinned down on the wall by Damon. If Stefan couldn't take down Damon when he had fed, imagine how it was when he lost all that blood.
"Nothing? Then why when I come home I found my glass shattered on the ground with your blood on the floor. Then now when I see you, your covered in blood too. You also seem to be very weak than usual so 'nothing' might be the wrong answer, Stefan." Damon said and when Stefan didn't answer, he tightened his grip making Stefan let out a little sound of pain.
"A vampire came and attacked me." Stefan quickly lied. Damon only stared at him and Stefan thought it had worked but Damon's face somehow turned angrier.
"I could always tell when you're lying little brother." Damon said and tightened his grip around his throat. Stefan bit his lip in pain and was pretty sure a few tears came out his eyes. Damon let go of him and Stefan gasped for air but then suddenly felt Damon take his jacket off. Stefan looked at his arms and saw the faint cut marks.
"You were cutting yourself. I thought you promised you would never cut again." Damon said furiously and stared right into Stefan's green eyes.
"I didn't think it mattered anymore after we died. It's not a big deal anyways, it's going to heal." Stefan told his older brother but it didn't seem to calm Damon at all.
"It doesn't matter if it's going to heal! Each time you cut means one step closer to your heart. And if you end up killing yourself you're going to make me search until the end of this earth to find a way to get you back. Just so I can snap your neck a couple of hundred times for how stupid you are." Damon yelled.
"Why am I the stupid one? You're the reason I cut myself in the first place!" Stefan answered back. This time he was the one who was angry. Damon stared at his brother, shocked at his response.
"You took Elena from me." Stefan continued and looked down when he felt hot tears starting to form under his eyes.
"When I kept on drowning and dying over and over the thing that kept me going was knowing you were looking for me. But you never did." Stefan choked out and looked back up to his brother again. Damon was speechless, knowing everything Stefan said was true. Damon emotionally hurt his little brother.
"So Damon, if your allowed to break your promise I'm allowed to break mine." Stefan said with tears rolling down his cheeks he couldn't keep back. Stefan quickly picked up a piece of glass from the floor and before Damon realized what he was doing, Stefan used the glass to cut across his arm leaving a huge cut that only half healed.
"Stefan stop!" Damon said but Stefan had already made a second cut. Stefan was crying as he continued cutting but Damon grabbed his wrist firmly before Stefan can start on his fourth cut.
"Drop it." Damon said sternly while staring right into Stefan's wet eyes. Stefan refused but quickly dropped it when he felt Damon's nails digging into his skin as he gripped his wrist tighter.
Damon hugged Stefan leaving his brother half surprised. Damon hadn't hugged Stefan in a long time.
"Just let it out brother. I rather let you cry than taking it on yourself." Damon softly said as Stefan continued sobbing into his older brother's shoulder.
"You promised that you would always be here for me." Stefan choked out after he managed to calm down.
"And did I break that promise? After all these years I'm still here with you, aren't I?" Damon responded and Stefan noticed it was true. After all the terrible things Stefan did to Damon his brother was still taking care of him.
"Look, I promise you it'll get better. I'm sorry I hurt you, Stef. But I swear if I catch you even making a little mark on your skin I will snap your neck. Just don't take it on yourself because after a while you find out it actually makes it worse. Trust me I know." Damon said while he stroked Stefan's hair. Stefan paused for a moment wondering what he meant but decided to ask him about it another day. Now he was just glad how close he felt with Damon, like how they used to be.
"You will always be here to take take care of me, right?" Stefan quietly asked after a minute of silence, remembering his words he asked back in 1863. Damon smiled at his brother's question.
"I will always be here for you."
Let me know what you guys think. I would like to continue this but don't know how but if you want me to continue also and have an idea then you can always tell me. Please review and/or favorite. I appreciate it very much. Thanks!
