Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. This is the first story on with the first five chapters published on the same day it is published! I think.
This is my first Naruto fic. And there shall be a lot of characters sort of out of character in this chapter. Read and reviewl.

Chapter One: Teachers: Hazing Gai

Kakashi, Asuma, and Kurenai were having their monthly Jounin party when Gai popped in.
"Hey guys!" he said. "Can I join you all in your monthly Jounin parties?"
"No," they immediately replied.

"Why not?" demanded Gai. "I'm a Jounin too!"
"Because you're annoying," Kakashi simply said.
"But my students are better!" Gai said. "Please let me join! My students are better!"
"Naruto defeated Neji," Kakashi pointed out. "Plus, he knows the Kagebunsin No Jutsu, learned the Rasengan in about a week, and is full of surprises. Oh, and Sasuke managed to make Gaara bleed when Lee coudn't, he's a soul survivor of the Uchia clan, he can use the Sharingan, all the girls want him, and unlike Lee, he is cool."
"And Shikamaru is a Chunin," said Asuma. "None of your wannabe students are Chunins! Hahaha!"
"What about Kurenai's team?" said Gai. "My team is more spectacular than her's! Shino beat up a guy with one arm! What's so special about that!"
"That's not how it went!" yelled Kurenai.
"Let's put Gai through an initiation," said Asuma, lighting a cigarette.

"That's a good idea, Asuma," Kakashi said.
"Not a bad idea," Kurenai said.

"Hey!" exclaimed Gai. "Isn't that hazing?"
"Shut up, Gai," Asuma said. "Now here is what you've got to do. You must get Chouji to kiss Shukamaru's Chunun feet!"
"That is an easy task!" exclaimed Gai. "Just tell me where they are!"
"They're in the restaurant around the corner," Asuma said. Gai dashes to the restaurant. When he gets there he goes poof and repoofs next to Chouji while almost giving him a heart attack.
"Ahhh!"screamed the trio.

"It's that one creepy Jonin teacher!" Ino yelled.
"Greetings, chubby Genin, female Genin, and young Chunin!" said Gai. "I was wondering if you, chubby Genin, would kiss your Chunin friend's feet!"
"Why do you want Chouji to kiss my feet, oh creepy Jonin?" Shikamaru asked mockingly.
"There's a apple pie, blue berry pie, cherry pie, and pumpkin pie in it for you chubby Genin!" Gai exclaimed. Chouji immediately grabbed both of Shikamaru's feet and started making out with them.
"Chouji!" Shikamaru exclaimed. "Stop that! You're embarrassing us all!"
"Yah, kid," Gai said. "Your starting to creep me out as well! You can stop now!"
"Than give me the pies," Chouji said.
"Here you go!" Gai said while handing Chouji the four pies on a tray that he somehow was hiding under the table without them noticing.
"Yay!" Chouji said taking the tray.
"Creepy troublesome Jounin," Shikamaru mumbled.
"Well I'll be off now!" Gai said poofing to the table the other Jounins were sitting at.
"Hah!" laughed Gai. "Now you'll have to let me join!"
"You still have to harass my team," Kurenai said. "Then you have to bother Kakashi's kids."
"Awww!" Gai groaned. "Fine. What do I have to do?"
"You have to get Shino and Kiba to fight over Hianta!" laughed Kurenai. "You'll never accomplish this. Hahaha!"
"Just tell me where they are!" Gai shouted.

"Okay, okay," Kurenai said. "No need to shout. They were in the park the last time I checked."
"Then that is where I'm going to check first!" declared Gai. He ran to the park at the speed of light. When he got there he saw Shino and Kiba sitting there doing nothing.
"Hello, students of Kurenai!" Gai said cheerfully.
"Hello," said Kiba. Akamaru barked in response and Shino stared at him through his sun glasses. "What do you want."
"I've been wondering if you two liked that Hyuuga girl you're teamed up with," Gai said. "It seems you both have a great interest in her, and I have advice for you two about being in love with the same girl!"
"What!" exclaimed Kiba. "I am not in love with Hinata! Maybe Shino is, but I'm not!"
"I am not," Shino simply said.

"I know!" Gai exclaimed. "Why don't you two fight for her? A competition! A right to be her knight, warrior, etc. Now fight!"
"How about no," Shino said. "Creep."
"Ah come on!" Gai said begging.
"No," Shino said.

"Why do you want us to over Hinata anyway?" Kiba asked. "You're not related to any of us, or a good family friend to any of us, I'm not even really sure who you are! Who are you?"
"I'm Mitou Gai!" Gai said. "I'm Neji's, Lee's, and Tenten's teacher! I'm just concerned about all the rest of you Genin guys! Since Lee and Sasuke are the best looking Genin around and all the girls seem to swarm all around them! You need to cling on to Hinata before she completely falls under their spell!"
"I don't know about Lee," Kiba said, frowning.

"I'm insulted for all of us guys that you would say Lee is better looking then us all," Shino said. "I'm going to leave now." Gai franticly thought of something when a thought struck him.
"Does this mean you forfeit the fight to Kiba for Hinata's love?" Gai asked. At this said Shino stop walking.
"What the hell did you say?" Shino said icily.
"Does this mean you forfeit for Hinata's heart?" Gai repeated nervously.

"I never forfeit," Shino said coldly. "I, Aburame Shino,do not forfeit. We fight now Kiba, for Hinata!"
"That's crazy!" exclaimed Kiba. "You're crazy!" Akamaru barked something.

Kiba said, "Shut up Akamaru! Don't listen to him!" Akamaru barked something else.
"I'm not a wussy!" yelled Kiba. "Fine! I'll fight you Shino!" They both get into a fighting stance. Kiba lunges but Shino merely moves to the side and punched him. Kiba swiftly kicks Shino in the ribs, butShino retalilates by havingbees come out of nowhere and sting Kiba.
Gai gleefully skips to the teachers while all this happens.

"Amazing," gasped Kurenai.
"Haha!" Gai said. "Now tell me what your task is Kakashi so we can get over with all this!"
"You must get Sakura to fall in love with Naruto and get them to be the greatest shinobi couple in the history of Konohagakure village, and get Sasuke and Naruto to be the best friends in the history of Konohagakure village," Kakashi said.
"What?" Gai, Kurenai, and Asuma exclaimed.

"Kakashi," Kurenai said. "Not even all four of the deceased Hokages could have done that! Give him a more, possible task."
"Fine," Kakashi said reluctantly. "You must put three cups of instant ramen in front of Naruto and get him to not eat them for five minutes."

"That sounds reasonable!" Gai said. "Where are they now?"
"I was suppose to meet them at the bridge this morning at ten," Kakashi said.

"Wasn't that like, four hours ago?" Kurenai asked.
"Of course," Kakashi said casually while taking out his book.Gai dashed to the store, bought three cups of ramen, but went to his students at their favorite training spot.
"Hey guys!" Gai exclaimed. "I need a favor!"

"Anything for you master Gai!" exclamed Lee.
"Sure," Tenten said.
"I'll do anything to get back at the main house," Neji said.
"Okay!" Gai said. "Anyways! Here's what you guys have to help me with..."


"Where the hell is master Kakashi?" Naruto yelled.

"Hello Kakashi's students!" Gai greeted.

"What the hell are you doing here fuzzy brows Gai?" asked Naruto.

"I'm here to bring you this!" Gai said putting three cups of instant ramen.
"For me?" Naruto exclaimed. "Give me!"
"Whoa!" Gai said as he tried to keep them away from Naruto. "Naruto, I'll give these to you in five minutes!" But Naruto did not listen to him. He wildly grabbed for them. Then Naruto started using theKagebunshin No Jutsuto over power Gai.
"Team!" Gai screamed. "Help me!" Lee used his super Taijutsu speed to take down the Naruto clones. While Neji used his divine spin to descend from the air and take out multiple clones. When there was only one Naruto left Tenten used her amazing targeting skills to throw some kunai knives at Naruto and bounded him to the bridge.

"Hiyaaa!" Lee yelled kicking Naruto's head hard and knocking him out.
"Thank you Lee!" Gai said. "But I think you over did it! So I want you to stay with him and his teammates until he's awake!"
"Yes master!" Lee said. He looked at Sakura and blushed.

"Goodbye," Sakura immediately said and ran as fast as she could home.
"I'm going home now," Sasuke said walking away.

"Don't worry master!" Lee said. "I'll wait untill he is awake!"
"Okay!" Gai said. "Thank you Lee!"

"Gai!"

"Lee!"

"Gai!"

"Lee!"

After that creepy scene, Gai ran to where the other teachers were waiting.
"Can I join now!" Gai asked.
"Sure," Kakashi reading his book. "See ya all tomorrow." He went home.
"Okay," said Kurenai leaving.

"I need to buy more cigarettes," Asuma said going to the store.
"Umm," Gai said as he was left alone. "I'll go too!" In the blink of an eye he disappeared to his home.

To be continued...