Authors note: Warning; 7x15 spoilers. There was a lot of Bamon feels this episode, so I decided to write down the feels. This story is self-edited
Disclaimer: I do not own anything
He's Gone
"… You don't get to say goodbye." Bonnie held the other set of tears threatening to escape as she walks away. This was it, she was never going to see him again. She picks up her pace hoping that the farther as she gets the less she'll feel the pain. Over the years to being enemies, tolerating each other, saving each other, being a friend, to him being one the most important person in her life. He was leaving her. Was she that incapable of being loved that everyone she cared about abandons her? She deserved more than this… didn't she? She sacrificed everything for them, yet they couldn't even stay for her. All these people in this world, yet she ended up being alone again.
She runs up to her car, slams the door close and she let the tears out. Drop after drop, screams after screams. She bangs her head on the steering wheel over and over again, not caring how much it hurts, she would give to feel anything than what she's feeling right this moment. She grips the wheel so tight that her knuckles turns white. She feels so angry, sad… abandoned. She feels a gaping hole in her heart wrenching to be filled again.
Between her cries all she can ask her self was 'why?' Because she doesn't understand.
Her phone rings. It's Caroline. Contemplating on whether she answers or not. She decides not to, she was mad because she left her too. Just like everyone else.
Bonnie wipes off the tears flowing down her cheeks, it didn't help at all. She starts up her engine and drove off as fast as she could with no particular destination in mind, she just wanted to get away.
Enzo stares at the fire place, he relaxes at the sound of the wood roasting. He begins to think about what the Armory had planned for Bonnie. Why does he care? Should he care? The witch, all she's done to him was tell him what he didn't want to hear, the truth. A woman he barely knew read him so clearly like a polished glass. He wonders where she is at this moment.
The look on her face right when he told her. It was heartbreaking. She ran like a wind, like a lost child chasing its mother. Surprisingly he felt bad and… relieved? The bond that those two have, it was unbreakable. It was something that he's wanted for a long time. It was nice to see, something that great was within his reach but it wasn't his. That's why he told her, Damon's plan to desiccate. Since he couldn't have it, he wanted to destroy it.
An old buddy calls him. Caroline. He asks her what she wanted. "Have you seen Bonnie? I've been trying to call her but she won't answer." The caring friend she is.
"No I didn't. Why should I concern myself about your little 'bestie' when all she did was make my life miserable for the past couple days?" yeah, that was the exact opposite.
"Yeah for calling you out on your shit." Caroline mumbled "C'mon Enzo. Bonnie is never like this. Plus I have a really bad feeling" Caroline bit her lip. The clueless girl she is.
"So you called me because you had some premonitions about the Bennett witch that I could care less about" his accent got sharper.
"Please just check on her Enzo. She's been through enough."
"I told you, I don't know where she is." He hung up. He knew exactly where she is.
Just as expected, a couple miles away from Mystic falls, Bonnie ends up in a bar, drinking bourbon. Several bottles later, she realizes no matter how much bourbon she chugs up, the burn of the alcohol slipping down her throat doesn't help numbing the pain. The bartender tells her she's had enough but she ignores and kept drinking. He shakes his head, but complies and gives her another bottle. 'Good boy' she slurs. The lights flicker.
How many bottles had she had again? Ah she doesn't care, she pours another full cup. Couple of guys comes up to her from time to time, hitting on her. She flirts back. One of the guys had a girlfriend, found and came up to them, accused them of cheating. She pinched the bridge of her nose. 'Go away' she thinks
"Look Mona Lisa, could you take your unfaithful boyfriend and argue somewhere else? I don't have time or interest for your nettlesome love affair with Romeo here." She tried to dismiss them. The girl scoffed obviously irritated. "You're the one to talk when you were the one all over him." Bonnie rolled her eyes. Typical. "You literally caught him with his hands on my thigh" she mumbled and turned back to take a sip on her drink. The guy tried to get them to leave for the sake of his pride, but was rudely interrupted by his girlfriend. Bonnie was able to muffle down all the screams thrown at her until, "What did you just say bitch?" the girl yelled and yanked back her hair causing her to stumble backwards to the floor. While she was on the ground, the girl pounced on her and began punching, pulling and slamming her head on the cold concrete tile. She was going to pass out for sure, she thought.
Somewhere in between Bonnie started laughing. It dawns on her. This was exactly what she needed to numb down the pain. She didn't exactly need to feel and think about all the abandonment and the resentment while she was getting beaten to a pulp. "Oh you're laughing now huh?" the girl scowled while people were trying to pry her off of Bonnie, the girl's nails were digging and dragging on the side of her neck, breaking through the skin. It almost felt nice.
Once the girl was off, Bonnie groggily gets up onto her feet. She feels the magic radiating off of her, sensing others must've felt it too, they looked uneasy. The girl's death glare disappears when a strong force slammed the people around her to the nearest walls. All the girl could hear was the glasses shattering including the bottle Bonnie broke in half. Bonnie slowly began to approach the girl who was slowly inching her way to the door. Bonnie kicked her stomach and the impact caused the girl to groan and land on the floor. She opens her mouth and began begging for her life as the others who couldn't move nor speak watch in horror. It all happened so fast, she kicked the helpless girl over and over, through the abuse, she got on top of her victim. Was she really going to do this? Kill an innocent? Not really bothering to give it another thought, she advanced. Halfway through the motion a cold hand got a grip of her wrist and tosses her off. Bonnie looked up and the sight of a man caught her vision.
"Thought I'd never see the day. A witch willing to kill for a mere vampire. Until you." His accent filled the room. Bonnie inwardly groans and rolls her eyes for the thousandth time this evening. Enzo thought that she'd be drinking her emotions away, he was right, she reeked of alcohol. Weirdly enough, he just never thought she'd get this violent though, which was weird because this was the exact same person who severed his hand yesterday. While Enzo compels them away Bonnie gets up to her feet and staggers her way behind the counter to get another bottle and sat on the floor. Back to her earlier routine. She drank and she drank. Everyone left, completely oblivious to what transpired earlier. Before Bonnie take another gulp, Enzo snatched the bottle away.
"Being an alcoholic, I don't recall that being a Bennett trait"
"Well it is now, see you're learning new things every day." she clumsily reaches for the bottle only for it to be swatted away. She did nothing after that. Enzo sat down beside her and looked at her. After a couple minutes of dead silence, Bonnie came up to him with,
"Here's the thing; my family is dead. My mother is a vampire. Grams found peace, I never got to say good bye to my father who got brutally murdered by Silas, my friends they just" she made a poof sound "disappeared. And the guy I put so much trust into decides to desiccate himself because of the selfish asshole he is. Tell me, am I that horrible of a person? All the people I've ever gave a crap about… they always end up leaving me."
Am I that worthless? She asks herself.
"Was he that miserable that the thought of seeing me for the next 60 years was much worse than rotting in that coffin? Is it that hard for him to wait by my side? I did everything for them" for him "All he had to do was stay." And he couldn't even do it.
Enzo stayed silent, letting the witch mourn her best friend. He wanted to comfort her, but he couldn't find any words to say. He gets it. More than anything. He does.
Bonnie brought her knees up and buried her face, blank eyes stared at an empty space once again. "He left me." She pressed her eyes on her knees, trying to prevent tears from coming out. Her body began to tremble and she sobbed.
"He's gone"
3 years later
For what felt like forever, her lids opened up, her dried tears imprinted on her face. The sunrise hitting directly into her green eyes. The thought of the past slammed her like a wave during a storm. She thought everything was getting better but apparently it wasn't. After months of running and hiding from the Armory, she somehow found that locking herself in a psych ward was a good option. She planned to stay in for a month, then a month turned in to two, and now she's been here for a year. She couldn't bear to leave, she didn't know why but she liked it here. No one would be able to hurt her here. The sound of the door made her jump and snap her out of her thoughts. "Morning Bonnie." A woman dressed in white came in her room.
"Good morning Christine."
"How are you? I heard you yesterday. Is everything okay?" Her nurse was concerned, the wrinkles on her forehead showing. "Did you have any flashbacks?"
"I just couldn't sleep" she cried herself to sleep. The nurse nodded, understanding what she meant.
"Do you think the insomnia is coming back? I could ask them for a checkup and prescription"
"No. No. It's fine."
"Well here's your breakfast and vitamins. You've been improving a lot lately, you're gaining weight now. You might get out of here sooner than you think." She placed the tray on her desk. Bonnie smiled in appreciation. "Thanks"
"No problem sweetie. You can walk around the place, I won't tell if you don't."
"I'm feeling a bit tired today. I'm just going to go to the group counselling" She didn't even want to.
"Well, okay. I'll see you later Bonnie." The nurse exited. Bonnie's sigh echoed within the constricting white walls, she wonders if she's going to spend the rest of her life here, rotting in this place. Who was she kidding, she's never going to get better. She ate the food in front of her silently.
She goes in a room, she sees people, individuals who were fighting different battles in their own world. It was loud but it was so so quiet. The blank stares in their eyes shows the doorway through their soul but they block it with a wall, a fort , a shield, all for the sake of not wanting anyone to get in and have the ability to hurt them again. Bonnie remembers why she goes here, because she was the same way. They were all fighting for their sanity.
"…I made a mistake and I lost someone I loved and I'll do anything to take it back but I can't. All I can do is-" she paused, "try and find a way to live with it"
Enzo sat on the cold corner of Bonnie's room, silently listening to her confessions. He felt a pang in his heart as he continues to listen. As the years went by, he's grown quite fond of Bonnie, he adores her. After Damon's departure, he helped her to escape the Armory's wrath and greed to possess her. Travelling states after states, they bonded. He knew her. He knew the sole mistake that Bonnie deeply regrets and still cause her pain to this day.
It was letting Damon go.
Authors note: So about the episode... I KNOW RIGHT FUCKKITY FUCK FUCK. MY HEART. Anyways what do you think?
