This takes place after the End in the Beginning.
This story is an experiment. I thought about Booth's coma and what happened when he woke up to find his dream world gone. We had a couple of hints in "Harbingers in the Fountain". I thought I would expand upon those hints. I hope you like this story. This story is rated T for language.
This story is being told from Booth's point of view.
I don't own Bones.
Ooooooooooooooooooooo
She told me that I had a brain tumor. I have to take her word for it because I don't really remember anyone telling me that I had one before. When I woke up in the hospital, she was standing over me. I was confused and I didn't understand where I was. She told me that I'd been asleep for four days and the tumor was gone and my life would return to normal.
Normal, what's normal supposed to mean? My wife says she isn't my wife, but my partner. She says that I'm an FBI agent and she's a forensic anthropologist. I don't know what that is, but she says she's the best in the country . . . hell in the world. I don't get it. I really don't.
I've only been awake for two hours after a four day sleep and I don't understand what the hell is going on. My wife keeps telling me that I'm confused and she isn't my wife. She looks like my wife to me. How can she be my wife one minute and in the next she's just a friend, a co-worker? She says my memories are still tied to a dream world, but if that was a dream and this is my reality then the real world is messed up and I don't want any part of it.
I've tried to tell her that this is a nightmare and if someone would just wake me up I'd be okay, we'd be okay, but she just looks at me like I'm crazy or something . . . No one will wake me up. I'm trapped in this fucking nightmare and I can't wake up . . . No one is helping me . . . No one cares that this is wrong not even my wife.
Oooooooooooooooooooooo
Six hours . . . it's been six hours since I woke up from a coma and my wife still says she isn't my wife. Odd memories are starting to seep into my mind and for some reason my memories are slowly fading and other memories are trying to get my attention. I keep seeing myself in Iraq or Iran or some middle-eastern country . . . I'm not really sure where . . . I don't understand why though. Sure, I was in the Army. Hell, I was a Ranger, but I was never in Iraq or Iran or whatever . . . I was in Kosovo and Somalia. I remember those places.
I told Bren that and she just got this sad look in her eyes. She said that I was in Iraq. She said I was there with Desert Storm. I keep telling her that isn't true, but she says I was and I'm starting to worry that maybe she's right. If I was in the first Gulf War does that mean she's right about everything else too? . . . I don't want her to be right. I want my wife back. I want my life back. Why can't someone fix this mess? Why can't I have my life back? I don't want to be her partner. I want to be her husband. I want her to want me. Is that so wrong? We were happy.
Ooooooooooooooooooooooo
I can't believe that it's been ten hours since I woke up and my world was turned up side down, but it has been. At least, that's what Bren keeps telling me. She refuses to say that she's my wife. She won't budge on it either. She was really angry with me a little while ago. She says I'm not trying to remember my real life. She says I liked the dream world I was in and I refuse to let it go. I told her that this is the dream world, but she got really angry and left the room. I tried to get her to stay, but she was so angry with me. I've never seen her so angry with me like that before.
While Bren was gone, Cam came by to see me. I felt kind of odd when I was talking to her. She's my brother's partner and yet I also remember her as a doctor. I remember being in college with her and living with her for awhile. I don't know which memory is true. Cam said that she's a Federal coroner. She says I'm an FBI Agent. I told her to quit saying that . . . I'm not an FBI Agent . . . I can't be. She just patted my shoulder and said I'd remember . . . God, I don't want this. I don't understand. I must be in a coma and that's why no one can wake me up. I'm trapped in this God awful fucking nightmare and I can't wake up. God, I want to wake up. Please Lord, help me. Please . . . Help me.
Oooooooooooooooooooooo
I was surprised when Bren came back. She was so mad at me that I didn't think she'd come back, but she did. Bren says she's not angry with me and I'm glad. It's been fourteen hours since I awoke from my coma. I know because everyone keeps telling me what time it is and how long I've been awake. What the hell is up with that?
Bren talked to me about the last four days. About how I was operated on to remove a brain tumor and I reacted badly to the anesthesia. I was in a coma and she had been afraid that I might not wake up. She was so sad and it hurt me to see her like that.
Still, I don't remember that stuff and it doesn't seem like it's true. I told her that this is the coma and I could see her get angry again. She didn't leave the room, but she keeps hovering over near the doorway. She won't come near me anymore. I don't understand why she won't believe me. I told her about our life together, how happy were together, but she says it's just a fantasy. It's something I dreamed up . . . I don't know . . . I'm pretty sure I'd know if I was an FBI Agent . . . Wouldn't I?
Oooooooooooooooooooo
She's mad at me again and she left the room again. All I asked her was how the baby was. She got mad and wanted to know what I was talking about. I told her I was talking about our baby. I know she's only a few weeks pregnant, but still, I don't see why I can't call it a baby. She was so mad when I mentioned the baby . . . She told me there is no baby . . . There is no us. She isn't my wife. I refused to believe her and I . . . yeah I cried. I think I scared her when I did that and she just . . . left.
Ooooooooooooooooooo
She was gone for a while but she finally came back. She said she was sorry for being impatient with me.
Now I'm afraid to say anything to her. Everything I say makes her so angry. I don't want her to be angry at me. I love her and I want her to kiss me and tell me that I'm right. I want her to take me home. I want . . . I want us to be us.
I tried to go to sleep and force myself to wake up from this coma, but when I opened my eyes again, I was still in this fucking nightmare in this fucking hospital room. I can't wake up.
I'm afraid. I don't know what will happen if I'm stuck in this nightmare. Can someone go insane while asleep? I tried to ask my doctor that question, but he just patted my shoulder and said that confusion was to be expected. What the Hell is that supposed to mean? I'm not confused . . . They are.
Ooooooooooooooooooooo
It's been a whole day since I woke up from my dream. Bren says it was a dream anyway. I'm still confused I guess. I have these weird memories. So far several people have come to visit me and I want that to stop. I told her I don't want any more company. Bren said she didn't understand why. I tried to tell her that I have two memories for everyone that comes to see me, but she doesn't get it . . . I don't know which one is real and which is the dream. I don't like not knowing what's going on. She says she's my best friend and that once the real world takes over my dream memories then I will understand that she isn't my wife. I told her that she's wrong. This dream world is destroying my real world memories and I'm going insane.
Bren cried. I didn't mean to make her cry, but I did. I want my life back. I hate this. I hate that no one will listen to me. I'm afraid that that brain tumor everyone swears I had made me insane. What if they lock me up? What if I really am insane and they lock me up?
Oooooooooooooooooooooooo
I guess Bren is really worried about me, but I am too. She told me I have a son and his name is Parker. I remember Parker . . . At least, I think I remember Parker. She told me that's good. She says my real world memories are starting to take over. It's been two days since I awoke from my dream and I'm still confused. She still says she isn't my wife.
I promised to quit calling her that . . . I might as well. It just makes her angry and why should I argue with a dream person anyway? Only insane people argue with people that don't exist. I know in the real world she's my wife, that's all that is important. When I wake up, my wife will remember me and everything will be Okay. This world sucks and well, it's not real is it?
She said that Parker is going to come visit me in a day or so. Bren told me not to tell him that he isn't my son because it will upset him. I told her I won't mention it . . . I don't want to upset a child, even a dream child.
Sweets came by to see me. He thinks he's a psychologist . . . He said he is anyways. He wanted to talk to me about my delusions. I really got pissed at him for that. I'm not talking to a pretend psychologist. He must be crazy if he thinks I'm going to put up with that shit.
Bren says I need to talk to someone. I told her that I would talk to Gordon Gordon. I'm not sure why I'll talk to him. He's just a figment from my dream world too, but at least I trust him . . . Can you trust a figmant of your imagination? Does that mean that I really am insane?
Oooooooooooooo
What if that brain tumor I had is still there and they couldn't remove it and I'm dying? I asked her if that was possible and she got mad at me again. She yelled at me. She told me that I'm not dying and to quit saying that . . . Bren said the operation was a success . . . If it was successful then why am I so screwed up? I think I'm dying and I'm trapped inside my head. I fell into some weird dream world and I will never wake up. She got so mad at me this time that she said she was leaving and she wasn't coming back. I guess that's for the best. I don't like to upset her, even if she is just a dream person and I am dying.
Oooooooooooooo
She came back with Gordon Gordon. I like Gordon. He said I look like shit . . . . He's honest . . . Everyone else just says I look pretty good and I'll be okay in a few days. I asked Gordon if it was possible for someone to be dying and to get trapped in a dream world in the end. He told me it was possible, but he told me that I'm not dying. He told me that I had been in a coma and now I'm awake. The other world was a dream and this world is the real world. I asked him how I was supposed to know that was true . . . The other world seems real to me. I had a great life there. Why should I believe that this world is the real one? This world doesn't seem to be a good one for me. Bren isn't my wife. How can this be the real world if the woman I love isn't my wife?
Gordon asked me if I remember how I met her in my other world, the world that I say is real. I thought about it and I said that I don't know. Gordon asked me if I remember how I met her in this world. I had to admit that I remembered seeing her giving a lecture somewhere and I wanted her to help me on a case I was working on. Gordon liked my answers I guess because he sured seemed happy. He said that if that world is the real world and this is the dream world then why can't I remember something as simple as meeting her for the first time in the other world . . . Now I'm confused as fuck.
He visited me for awhile and he said he'd come back every day to see me. Bren told him that she was glad he came because he is the only one I seem to believe. She talked to him like I was asleep or not there . . . I think she's still mad at me.
Oooooooooooooooooooo
Parker came to see me . . . I have a son. I remember that I have a son. He hugged me and the memories just came pouring in. The other world . . . the Dream world just washed away and now I know that what everyone said is true.
I remember.
I know now that Brennan isn't my wife. She never was. She's my friend . . . my best friend.
My life is shit and it always has been. I finally had a wife and a life I loved and it was taken away from me. It's not fair, but I guess it's not supposed to be. I still want that life back though. I want Bren back . . . Bren loved me in that world. She loved me so much and I loved her. Brennan and I . . . well, we're just friends and I guess that's all we'll ever be.
Somehow I think that deep down inside of Brennan is the real Bren. She has to be or maybe I'm just desperate and that's how I want her to be. I loved her in my dream and I love her in my real world, but she isn't in love with me. I live in a world where the woman I love is not in love with me. My real world is a fucking nightmare and I'll never have what I want . . . never.
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What do think about this story? I hope it made sense and wasn't too disjointed. Let me know what you think about it.
