Disclaimer: They're not mine, kay? I just use them for my sick pleasure... mwahahahaha


Choices

By Mikky

Choices.

Life is full of them. Every single life, and a whole lot of different alternatives. For me it wasn't different. It certainly wasn't.

Not demanding, not even a little lenient. Latent.

Are there perfect choices?

I do not think so... No, certainly not. Everything has a dark, shadowy, destructive side. Even that... That little simple desire, that exact one easily brought up in discussions or whatever.

Choices.

I can surely say I've always chosen my path, the path I should follow. I've always gone wherever I wanted, always chosen what I thought was the right choice.

Have I always gotten the upper hand?

Aah, surely I haven't.

Because if I had, maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't be where I am. Even with all the mistakes and snares I've done and gotten myself into. I do not regret. I don't regret any of them.

Would it have been different?

I don't know. Maybe it would, maybe it wouldn't.

And with all the things that happened, I don't regret it... not even a single bit.

Liar.

Yes, a liar.

No one believes on your pitiful lies. No one. Just you. And you only.

No... not even you.

You doubt. You doubt yourself...

Will you be able to do it? Will you really get it, or you will hesitate? Won't you or not come back?

You Said yourself you wouldn't... you would not come back.

However, in the cold winter night, on the freezing concrete floor, you think… of her, him. And Him.

And then once more you claim yourself to be the avenger, like you've been trying to get used to the Idea. You tell yourself you will put and end to the Uchiha's tragic choice.

And then you wake up and remember that you can't come back anymore.

The door had already closed.

The light shinning showing the way had already extinguished.

And you sigh...

Liar... you're not an avenger, you're a fool. A pathetic fool of even fooler choices.

Fool?

Wasn't this Word your brother defined you? That you were a fool?

Dark opal eyes, heavy and tired of the abuse and the hunger of days, close once more. A light sigh echoes through the plane flat wall of the stony room.

Room? Well, you're choosing the words pretty damn well. Cell is the most appropriate. C-E-L-L. Prison... and it's… it's the same as illusion.

The futile illusion that you could have done ii…. The one you'd overcome them and defeat him.

Who is defeated anyway?

You.

Without her.

Without him.

Defeated.

Beaten.

Broken.

And in a few days, exterminated from existence.

But it was your choice , wasn't it? Can't you remember??

NO.

I can't remember. I don't want to remember. I don't want to think I won't … that I won't come back anymore.

You don't?

No.

But you know. You know you won't come back. And you know your body does not belong to you anymore. You know you're not exactly yours anymore… or his, or hers… You are only his. Orochimaru.

No. I'm not. I won't be.

No? So, tell me, how exactly are you going to come back? How are you going to escape? You, and you alone came here. YOU...

You ran, fought, hit, flounced, almost killed. And all of that for what? Power? No... to perish... on his hands. Not even had the chance to touch her. Or him...

Enough.

Enough? Why? Any regrets? Haven't you said yourself you didn't regret anything?

Liar.

Stop!

L-I-A-R!

STOP!

Sasuke hastily gets up and bursts on a short and fast run, as much as his weakened legs allow him to and violently hits his forehead against the cell walls. Though he didn't want to accept, he knew deep inside the voice he'd been listening is his… his own voice. And for that reason alone it hurt. For all the things he knew that were right there in front of him, but he'd denied to see.

The strength of the walls and bars of the cell were impressive, built with chakra, mixed to the construction material. Just another of His courtesies, another one of Orochimaru's forbidden jutsu. He could clearly see the chakra streams there. But then, that was the only thing he actually could do. The only damned thing he actually trained amidst the time he's been there was his sharingan. Watch the walls daily, and try to find a hole… a simple and single hole from where he could break out and leave.

Leave? Where to? Can't you remember last time you've tried? You left, and was brought back. Almost dead. It took months for you to even open your fucking eyes. Couldn't move arms, legs… Isn't it true?

Enough...

Stoooooooop!!!

Well, well Sasuke-kun... once more having any trouble? The very same ones you created yourself? The ones you brought yourself?

They won't come.

You did it. You pushed them. You sent them away. Her. Him. Both. You left them away, hopeless.

Who knows shi might have even looked to him. And together they've forgotten you've ever existed. How long, huh Sasuke? How long? Almost three years gone. And tomorrow will be THE day.

No, it won't. I'll run away.

Oh? You will, won't you? Again? Just like the other times? You know pretty well what will happen tomorrow. There is no escape. It's over. Your existence is OVER.

Tomorrow everything is over.

Sasuke sighed once more. The strong steel like shackles on his wrist restrained any movement he tried, as the leather and chakra glove prevented him of performing any jutsu.

The only thing Orochimaru hadn't managed to seal away was his sharingan. And that for him unfortunately meant nothing, principally being on the situation he was stuck in. The pride and joy of his clan, of himself, held completely useless.

A dull whitish paper wrapped package was thrown on the cell floor recklessly. The round like light reflex on the eye level could clearly tell him it was Kabuto, who turned and left after tossing a second brown package.

Eager to subside the hunger of days, Sasuke doesn't even think and crawls to the packages. He opens the whitish first.

Meat. Once again meat. Roasted. Badly roasted.

He didn't think much. He couldn't. He was so hungry that he just ate.

Then he saw the other package. Would it be any more food? He hoped it was. He was starving.

However, it wasn't any meat.

The brown package didn't bring any meat within it. It brought pictures, lots of pictures.

On the dimly moonlight that shone through the small grilled window he could see it.

It was her. It was her on the pictures. At least it seemed to be.

He closed his eyes and turned to the other side. And vomited. He threw out every single piece of food he'd just eaten minutes ago.

The picture illuminated by the moonlight smiled to Sasuke. It grinned… a long and wide sneer... fetid and putrid.

So, it hasn't been solemnly his imagination. It was her voice. Her voice indeed… her screams…the choky yowls he'd listened to every single night. Every single fucking night he's been there.

He threw up once more.

He couldn't believe it.

She tried to warn you, tried to take you back… And what have you done? You brought her here. You murdered her. You.... Sasuke... you wanted to protect her, and failed. Like you've failed on everything else of your life.

Ironic, ain't it? You've always wanted to taste her flesh… you've longed to kiss her… take her, just for you… Eat her.

And, you've done, quite literally if I may add.

Stoooooooooooooop!!!

Noooooooo!

The 16 year old boy cried copiously. He cried, sobbed, whimpered and vomited. Like a child. Sobbed and threw up. He spewed the entire fetid menu he's had in three years of prision. He puked so much that there was nothing else there to vomit.

He cried and yelled.

Out of pain, out of anger, out of hate.

His Sakura.

His flower.

Dead.

By them.

I wonder if your amazing menu all these years was composed only by flowers, Sasuke-kun... was it only flowers or perhaps a certain fox was amidst it? Well, well… there's no way to know, is there?

Impossible, ain't it?

You have no courage to check those other photos. You don't have the guts or the ways to leave this prison and finish those disgusting bastards who had done all of this and run away.

Run away… Escape… Nigete…

Wasn't those the words brother said?

Crawling once more to the other package and refraining from puking again and again, Sakuke browsed through the pictures, carefully eyeing one by one.

Features of pain.

Splintered limbs.

Cries.

Within the package, he found a tape recorder with a tape inside.

He hesitated.

He didn't want to listen... he'd already suspected what exactly was there. All the collection of choky yowls he'd listened to every single night since he had gotten there.

You're leaving it aside, then?

You haven't got the balls, have you?

You haven't got the courage to see what you've done to her.

Yes.

You.

Simply because if you had returned, she'd still be alive, wouldn't she?

Sasuked cried. He cried a whole lot more than he had cried at the night he saw his parents murdered.

He couldn't muster the courage to push that play button. How could he? How could he keep watching that from afar? Impossible...

The truth behind the truth is that you really care, don't you?

She wasn't boring, as you repeated tirelessly, over and over…

She was smart.

She was witted.

She was pretty.

Well done, Uchiha Sasuke, well done. SHE WAS. She was… history. She became history! Sakura is just another face in your memory... No opportunities to say you're sorry, no way of getting the old days back...

Ironic, ain't it? She said she would give her live for you… and she did.

She kept you alive here.

Choices…

Which will be your next?


*This oneshot was originally written in Portuguese and then translated to English. I wrote this right after Sasuke left Konohagure tons of years ago, and posted someday (or some months) after that, as some friends bugged me to do constantly… And then, today, when I was browsing through my files, I fond this "unbetaed" rough translation.

I hope it's up to standards… R&R if you have the spirit to do so, and keep in mind English isn't my first language

Cheers!

Mikky®