Nothing more to give, nothing left to take. I keep reaching out to you. I keep reaching out to you, as you turn away...
"You honestly believe that we were ever going to last?" He whispered in her ear, cradling her head in his hands, the sincerest of looks on his face.
She couldn't believe him with such a look. She couldn't look into his eyes if she was hoping he was lying, if she couldn't really see the slightest bit of sureness inside his eyes. It was impossible. Didn't he love her? Elizaveta decided to think the latter. He was lying. He had to be.
She still loved him.
Gilbert fought with the urge to take it all back, but he could not deny the inevitable fact that he would not be able to give his one and only all she could ever want. He was going to leave her.
Nothing's going to hurt as much… as that final touch.
There was just no stopping himself, no matter how much it broke his heart to see her walk away from him that night, Gilbert would need to stand on his own two feet. He would not fall to his knees. At least… not in front of her. Not while she still looked up with him with those pleading eyes of hers.
"You honestly think I believe such insignificance… "
"You have to." He said to her, voice still able to maintain it's lugubrious façade.
Truth be told, his heart was shattering with each passing moment.
"Where else is there to go?"
He didn't know the answer to her question, and he wished she hadn't asked it. Gilbert covered Elizaveta's lips with his own, squeezing her jaw in order to pull her a little closer. That warm Autumn afternoon would be forever barred into his mind. If he saw her in the middle of the street, Gilbert wasn't sure he would be able to look her way when she spotted him. He wasn't entirely sure he would even stay in the same vicinity as her. It would just hurt too much… knowing that there was more he could have done. There just absolutely was no hiding the fact that he couldn't… he never could… make her as happy as she could be.
'But I choose now to break her heart… so far deep in the water.' He said to himself, pulling away from the kiss, and staring down at her face. He had to take it all in, even though she was not smiling… not the way he planned on remembering her.
"We can make it. You have to have faith in us…" Her voice was drenched, dripping, sopping wet with sobs that she wasn't even trying to hide. It was pitiful.
It almost changed his mind.
"Don't follow me." Gilbert only told her, slowly pulling out of her embrace.
Elizaveta was certain she would not be able to stand once he let her go. She was so sure that he would change his mind, so certain. When he backed away a couple feet, her fear swallowed her insides, and she couldn't bare the anxiety of seeing Gilbert turn his back to her. It was not happening. It had to all be a very bad dream she would wake up from in the morning. She would spend her nights crying herself hopeless if she had to face reality. Elizaveta was not ready for him to leave her. She was the one that saw it coming the whole time. This completely rubbish excuse of not being able to make her happy or be able to give her everything she could ever want… like anyone else could. Elizaveta knew she was happy with him. She couldn't explain to Gilbert enough.
She guessed enough would never truly be enough for him.
One step, my heart is breaking. One more… my hands are shaking.
The first step he took after turning his back was the hardest. The both of them dealt with the fact that pieces of them were falling to their toes. They had broken everything they ever stood with with that very first step.. And the second one was almost as unbearable.
Elizaveta watched until the very end… until Gilbert disappeared over the horizon, and when she could finally let all her tears flood and fall to the grass.
I keep reaching out for you, as you turn away.
