Author: Eilidh17

Category: Gen, Kidfic

Warnings: None

Feedback: Yep!

Written for the Stargate Kiddrabbles List – A Stormy Night Challenge – write a drabble or ficlet about bad weather and what it means to your child. Can be funny or serious.

Insy Binsy Pida

Danny can walk now. It's taken a few falls on his diaper clad butt and quite a bit more skirting along furniture pieces for him to find his sea legs, but now, after a month of effort, he's off and…

"No, Daniel, don't run!"

"Pain, Da!"

Pain? Right, so he's slipped from my sight and headed towards the back sliding door. I know he can't get out as I've got the doors locked good and tight. It's thundering outside, and no way did I want my little monster escaping. So what the heck has he hurt himself on now?

Tossing my dishcloth on the kitchen bench, I make my way into the living room to find my kid standing with his face smooshed against the glass.

"Pain! Or, insy," he muffles, his breath fogging up the glass with each breath.

"You okay, Danny?"

"Or, insy."

The only one with any real linguistic skills in this family is my one year old archeologist, now there's something I thought I'd never say. Truth be told, I never even thought the thought of ever saying that.

My brain hurts.

"Or, insy?" I repeat in his babbldy-gook language hoping I've emulated it close enough that at least he'll know what I'm saying... or is it what he's saying? Do I look squinty at this point? Happens when I don't understand something, especially when I'm doing the explaining.

"Yup," he answers turning his head my way and offering me a sad smile. "Or, insy, Da."

Did I mention my brain hurts?

Hands held in that time honored kid tradition that says "pick me up" I acquiesce and pull him into my arms, his nose wiping a trail of snot along my neck. Great, I'll add living tissue to my resume. "So, wanna tell me what's up?"

"Pain, w'ter pout."

Right, so let's just stand here and think about this for a moment. Do I go with:

a) He's in pain and I disregard the other two words

b) He's still in pain and the next two words were water spout, in which case he's either got to go potty or he's got an infection in his… right, moving on to c.

c) What's c? c … c … there's always a c isn't there? Comes right after b?

"Or, insy, pain w'ter pout," Danny sniffles as he points toward the glass door waving his fingers in a 'come hither' motion.

Well I'll be a space monkey's father 'cause I have no idea what the kids on about. Rain is pouring down by the bucket load outside but what ever has got him upset is definitely… dang!

"Insy winsy spider?" Sue me, but I winced saying those words. I mean, please, I'm a full bird colonel and I've stooped to the level of analysing children's stories to work out what's wrong with my son. No way did I do this with, Charlie. That kid was born with a baseball glove on his hand and his first words were Babe Ruth, and 'who's on first?'

Well, Danny's nodding vigorously at me but his hitching breath tells me he's heading for a full blown sobbing session pretty soon. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and hope there isn't a hidden camera with a shutter-happy major and prank-infested Jaffa at the end of it. "Insy Winsy spider has been washed out of the water spout? Am I getting close?"

Another nod. His head's gonna fly off those small shoulders soon.

Running out of idea's to placate his fears, the only thing I can offer is, "Well, you know when the sun comes out he'll be back climbing the spout again, don't you?"

"Sing?"

Oh, no way. You want me to do what? Sing? No… aww, don't go batting those eyes at me. Bad enough I had to sing Hakuna Matata at the zoo last week as a lion cub sashayed past. What a wonderful thing that was. Carter snorted coke everywhere, was the only thing that made my shame bearable.

"Da, sing. Insy, binsy, pida."

There's no getting out of this is there? Pretty sure I swept for listening devices as well as hidden cameras.

Okay, suck it in, O'Neill.

Cough.

Please don't tell me I have to do the hand actions as well.

"Insy, winsy, spider, climbed up the water spout…"

The End.