Two Peas In A Pod
A/N: This is dedicated to suecrockett who admits to being a TABBY shipper. So here's a series of tags… But no sexual relationships, just as brother and sister. These 'tags' are post episodes.
Chapter 1: Guys & Girls
Post – Ice Queen/Meltdown
A/N 2: Tony and Abby discuss Harm, Mac, Faith and Bud
Spoilers: Ice Queen/Meltdown
Tony sat down in the bullpen with a sigh. Blackadder had gone for the night and Gibbs had returned from interrogating Abama Bin Atwa and Tony was pleased with his small stint as team leader. Unfortunately, Vivian Blackadder didn't comment as she was still fuming about Atwa for sure but the feisty former FBI agent would get over it.
"What are you doing here Tony?" Abby saw the lone figure in the Bullpen.
"Hey Abs," Tony answered. "I was just resting my feet and eyes before I drive home," he told her. Walking around checking bridge railings for blood was more tiring than it sounded that accompanied by the driving made him feel exhausted.
"Want some company?" Abby asked as she sat on the desk.
"I would love a foot massage," Tony responded quickly as he leaned back in his chair hopefully. There was no harm in putting the request on the table. He looked at Abby with the most pathetic look he could muster.
"Uh, no way Tony," she replied. That was something she wasn't use to doing and it was one of the few things she hadn't wanted to learn. Touching people's feet like that was too hinky even for her.
"Worth a shot," Tony flashed Abby a smile. "Thank God we're done with JAG right now," he sighed. Lawyers were self centered and too far up themselves for Tony's liking. There wasn't a lawyer he liked. Except for Mac probably. "Sarah looked pretty good," he smiled again.
"Oh really," Abby laughed. "I thought Faith Coleman would tickle your fancy," she said as she tried to keep the laughter out of her voice.
"That hurts Abby," Tony's seriousness was cut short by a chuckle of his own as he pictured it. He shook his head to get the mental picture out of his head. "I don't think I can get with anyone who'd be cleaning as we do the deed. I'd suggest doggie-style but I think she'd be physically sickened by the thought," Tony said seriously before laughing again. "What about you? Who do you like Abs?" He asked.
"McBurney is cute," Abby answered with a cheeky smile. "Harmon Rabb is really cute to but he's too tall. I really like my men a little shorter," she elaborated.
"Little whatshisname Roberts?" Tony waggled his eyebrows.
"Bud?" Abby thought deeply for a second. "Actually I like the experienced babyface look," she answered. "Even you have to admit that he's kind of cute," Abby continued.
"What about Admiral Chegwidden?" Tony asked.
"Oh, eww," Abby punched Tony in the arm.
"Oww, hey," Tony dramatically rubbed his hand. "That's not very nice," he smiled.
Abby sat back down. "Hey let's pair JAG with NCIS," she laughed. That was a thought that they could have fun with. "Let's start with Bud Roberts?" Abby suggested.
Tony seriously thought for a moment as he attempted to think of the best match. "How about with you? He looks like a good lackey. He'd be a great gopher boy for you," he suggested. "How about a little office romance?"
"Alrighty… I get Bud," Abby said happily. "Admiral Chegwidden?" There was a moment of silence. "Director Morrow," Abby and Tony said in unison before laughing.
"Who can we get for Gibbs?" Tony asked.
"Sarah Mackenzie?" Abby asked. She saw the disheartened look in Tony's eyes. "Don't worry. You can be her other man. It will be dangerous," Abby laughed.
Tony nodded. "I can get use to that Abs," he responded. That was an exciting thought. "Harmon Rabb," he said thoughtfully. "Who could he be paired up to?"
"I'd say Gibbs. But Gibbs and you already have Sarah," Abby frowned. "How about you take Sarah and Gibbs can have Rabb?" She asked.
"Sounds good to me," Tony said. "So there's you and Bud. Chegwidden and Morrow. Me and Mackenzie. Now there's Gibbs and Rabb. I think Gibbs and Rabb could be perfect for each other since they're as stubborn as each other," Tony thought again. "That would leave McBurney and Blackadder," he said.
"No!" Abby yelled. "I want McBurney," she whined.
"Alright you have McBurney and Blackadder can have Bud," Tony corrected the list. "That leaves poor Faith and Ducky," Tony laughed his head off. "Well at least that autopsy would always be cleaned and organized," he said.
"So… Faith and Ducky that could be known as Fu-," Abby covered her mouth as soon as she realized what their pairing could be called. "Me and McBurney… AbBurney. Bud and Blackadder… Would have to be Badder," she said.
"How about Bladder," Tony joked. "Because if this keeps up, my bladder will empty," he said.
"Bladder won't work," she said. "Gibbs and Rabb… Well that could be Ribbs. You and Sarah could be known as Sony," Abby said.
"Reminds me of a DVD player," Tony winced in response. "How about Torah. Almost like Torah Torah Torah," he laughed.
"Ok… Chegwidden and Tom Morrow… Chorrow?" Abby explained. "So we have Chorrow, Torah, Ribbs, Abburney and Badder," Abby said.
"And don't forget Fu-," Tony began to say.
"What are you two still doing here?" Gibbs strode into the bullpen.
"Just leaving now Boss," Tony answered. "So what did you think of Harm?" This earned Tony a playful punch to the arm.
"I like him," Gibbs got something from his draw.
"So you two hit it off then?" Tony asked.
"Get out of here," Gibbs responded impatiently. "Go home."
"On it, Boss," Tony said as he briskly walked to the elevator closely followed by Abby.
"On Mac, Tony?" Abby asked. Tony smacked her in the arm and she punched Tony back as the elevator doors closed.
A/N: Chapter 2 will contain minor spoilers for Yankee White
