I can't believe I'm doing this again, but I can't help it. An idea comes to me, and I have to follow through.
Neville paused outside the lavatory. He was just on his way back from the green houses, when he heard noises beyond the door to the second floor girls' loo. The echo-like sound of the faucet was clear through the door, and underneath an unsteady rhythm of breaths. He hesitated for a moment outside the door. He didn't want to bother anyone, or intrude on their private time, it was the girls' bathroom after all, even if it was Myrtle's. But he didn't feel good about leaving it alone either, so he took a deep breath and opened the door.
Draco's slight frame was shaking as he gripped his wand tightly in his right hand. "Just...do it." He cried brokenly to himself, not yet noticing Neville's presence. Neville's eyes grew wide at the sight of Draco Malfoy, wand in hand, pointed at his left arm, shirt sleeves rolled up to the elbow, tears streaming down his face, and eyes squeezed tight.
"Malfoy!" Neville exclaimed in horror. Malfoy's eyes snapped open, and matched the terror in Neville's.
"D-Don't!" He yelled. "Don't come any closer!" Neville didn't listen. He approached with long, intimidating strides. He gripped Draco's right wrist tightly in his hand and jerked it violently away from the marked left arm. The wand went flying, and Draco's breathing became panicked. He looked up into Longbottom's dark, anger filled eyes, and thought for sure his life was over. Neville looked down into Malfoy's watery grey eyes, and felt oddly affected by the hopelessness he found there.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" He hissed down at the blond, who shivered in fear in response.
"What's it to you?" Draco breathed out shakily. Neville pushed Draco firmly against the sinks, eliciting a whimper from the Slytherin.
"What. The. FUCK. Are you doing?" Neville growled harshly. Draco continued to shake helplessly.
"Killing myself!" Draco screamed, a new stream of tears steadily leaking from his eyes. He just wanted to collapse. He wanted to cut straight through his Dark Mark and die.
Neville's eyes softened. He rubbed the wrist, still in his hand, soothingly, but he didn't back away. "Malfoy, what's going on?" His voice was softer, but no less demanding, even with the obvious worry and confusion beneath his commanding tone.
"Exactly what I said, Longbottom." Malfoy sneered. He tried to pull away, but Longbottom pulled him back and tried to make eye contact, which Draco desperately avoided.
"Malfoy." Neville said seriously. Draco sighed. What did he have to lose anyway?
"Can't you tell." He whispered despondently. At Neville's furrowed brow, Draco shook his left arm slightly. Neville turned to the naked appendage and his eyes widened. "I'm done for anyway." Draco sniffed hopelessly.
"Malfoy." pity laced Neville's voice, and his grip slackened. Draco immediately tugged his arm free and scurried away.
"I don't need your pity, Longbottom!" He lashed out. His position was defensive, and clearly torn.
"Malfoy-"
"No! You don't get to suddenly feel sorry for me! Leave me alone!" He cried shamefully in a corner of the bathroom.
"To what?!" Neville yelled. "To kill yourself?!"
"Better than the alternative!" Draco yelled back.
"What does that mean?" Longbottom asked, voice lower in volume, but heavier with worry and curiosity than it had been when he'd first walked in.
"It means I'm dead one way or another, at least this way I don't have to endure His torturous methods." Draco sighed. He looked as haunted and exhausted as he sounded, and Neville felt terribly sorry for him.
"Look, Malfoy, I know we're not friends or anything, in fact you've been a down right prick to me since we met."
"Is there a point, Longbottom?" Draco asked irritatedly.
"But," Neville emphasized. "You're not evil, not by any means, and this is much more serious than any school yard bullying." Draco gave him a blank stare, like; 'duh, you idiot.' But he was not deterred. "Let me help you. I know you can't go to your Slytherin friends with this. I want to make sure you're okay." He walked over to Draco and rubbed his hands up and down the smaller boys arms.
"When did you get so brave?" Draco whispered. The remark, though clearly meant as a rhetorical jibe, didn't have any of the usual venom or disdain.
"Well, I am a Gryffindor after all." Neville scoffed jokingly. The tension, though still present and heavy, lost some of its hostility.
Draco took a deep breath and sank down against the wall until he was sitting on the ground. Neville stared at him for a few minutes as he sat. The blond's eyes were closed, but his face was turned to the ceiling. He sat very still, but he seemed some how peaceful as he breathed deeply over and over. After a little while, Draco reached his left hand up lazily. Neville took it without thinking, and Draco gave his hand a little tug. Neville took the hint and sat beside him.
Neville watched Malfoy slowly open his eyes, and was shocked by the odd look of weary peace in them. Draco didn't look at him. "I feel light." He said softly.
"What do you mean?" Neville asked anxiously. The boy was acting eery, and after he had only moments ago been suicidal; it all seemed to set Neville on edge.
"My burden doesn't feel so heavy." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes again. When he let it out, he opened his eyes and adorned a sad smile. "It's out there now. There's certainly no hope left. I'm gonna fail, and He'll kill me. Or you'll tell and I'll be sentenced to death. I think." He looked troubled, but oddly determined. "It's time now." He said. And then he stood up. He took another deep breath and walked across the tiles to his wand. He stroked it lovingly, and he looked almost mournfully at it. After a moment, he went to pick up a discarded robe Neville hadn't noticed in all the craziness.
Neville watched all these actions with growing unease. Suddenly, Draco's eyes were on his, and the smile he showed Neville made his stomach squirm. "You'll come with me, won't you?" He asked, extending his free hand to Neville, who took it, but didn't pull it to get up. "Where are we going?" He asked, his voice held an accusation, but his eyes held more worry, and it was quickly morphing into fear. Draco didn't seem to notice though, he just said, "Somewhere safe I hope."
Neville followed Malfoy all the way to the first floor without saying a word, but he also maintained a grip on the other boy's hand. Or, more accurately, Draco happily gripped Neville's hand in his own and lead him down stairs to the ground floor.
"Shouldn't we go to Dumbledore's office or something?" He asked at last. Draco's grip tightened on his hand.
They didn't stop there though, Draco continued to pull them towards the grounds, and onward to the edge of the forest near the lake.
There was a fair amount of rocks and boulders, it was nothing like a beach, but there were also some fallen trees for sitting, and it was sort of pretty that close to the water. Draco didn't sit them on the ground (not that Neville would have expected him to), nor did they take up a tree. Draco sat them atop a large boulder. They had to hop a few others to get to it, but the view was pretty, and the company was silent on both ends, so they sat comfortably.
"I'm a little scared." Draco admitted after some time had passed. Though Neville didn't have the faintest idea as to what Draco was referring, he could certainly guess at a number of things, so he took the most obvious.
"About You-Know-Who?" He asked. Surprisingly, Draco smiled.
"Not anymore. I guess I'm not that afraid after all. You have to just do it." He grinned. And then, right then, before Neville had a chance to stop him, or talk to him, he jumped.
Draco hit the freezing water with no regrets. His clothes were heavy in the water, and though he instinctively gasped for air, he knew it didn't matter. It was sort of cowardly, he mused as he began to sink, to do it this way, it could have been an accident, there would be no obvious intent. It didn't matter anymore, he thought with a grin, he would sink, and it would be over at last. Hell, maybe they would think it was an accident and his parents would be safe from real harm. That made him feel peaceful even as the first burns in his lungs began to settle in.
They didn't settle long.
Neville ripped off his clothing as fast as he could, and when he was down to his pants, he jumped in after Malfoy. What was that git thinking?! The water was deep, and that made it harder to see, but the fair hair of the Malfoys' meant he didn't struggle for long. He found the boy rather quickly, and tugged one of his hands. The Slytherin didn't respond, not even to shake off the idiotic Gryffindor who was obviously trying to save him. Neville pulled him up as best he could, but it soon became clear that the problem was that Draco's heavy robe was dragging him down quickly. Neville swam to the surface once more, and drew in lungfuls of air before he quickly dove back under.
Finding Draco was a bit more difficult the second time under, but he found him relatively quickly, and quickly grasped him once more. It took some effort, but he maneuvered Malfoy out of his robe, and suddenly, the smaller boy was considerably more buoyant, and and the adrenaline fueled Neville to the surface, Draco in tow. But then it was a whole new obstacle getting Malfoy to shore. He was clearly water logged and unconscious, and they weren't in a very good spot to get back, though he supposed that was the point. He felt like an absolute moron as he swam one armed on his back, trying to keep Draco's head above water. The tosser obviously wanted to die, and with good reason. Besides, he certainly wasn't Neville's responsibility, Draco was a bully, and Neville was just a frequent victim. But underneath the anger he knew that right now, none of that mattered, Draco hadn't bullied him all year, and now he knew why. Draco was cursed now, he had a right to feel so hopeless. Neville had been the intruder, and he had obviously just mucked that up to. He should have forced Draco to Dumbledor's office, he knew Draco was in a desperate condition.
They made it to shore, and Neville immediately collapsed. He looked over at Malfoy. His skin looked ghostly pale, and his lips were blue, but he looked oddly at peace, especially for someone in his situation. Neville imagined he didn't look any better, but it also occurred to him that Draco was still unconscious. Fuck, he thought, just fuck. He had to get Draco to the hospital wing.
With the last bit of strength he had, Neville took a deep breath and yelled as loudly as he could for help. He cried out over and over, and help soon came in the form of Hagrid.
"Wha's goin' on?" He panted as he approached, his heavy footsteps reverberating in the ground. "Wha's happened?" Neville was too tired to answer, and promptly passed out.
When Neville awoke, he was in the Hospital Wing. He blinked his eyes open slowly, trying to get his barrings back. He looked around with his eyes, not yet ready to move his head, which felt so heavy. For the most part all he saw was ceiling, but it was enough to know where he was, and enough to guess that he was probably in the clear health-wise. With that in mind he looked to his left to see that the wing was mostly empty, and he guessed that Madam Pomfrey was in her office, the door of which was closed.
He looked to his right and flinched. Though Draco was obviously alive and breathing, he still looked overly pale and limp lying asleep in the bed next to Neville's. He couldn't have said what possessed him to do what he did next, but Neville reached over and brushed his fingers against Draco's. It was a surprisingly comforting gesture to show to one's enemy, but Neville couldn't seem to help showing comfort to a being in such obvious need of it. Even if that person had put both of them in this room and in these beds with his actions.
"You stupid Slytherin." He mumbled to the blond. He reached his fingers out again, and was surprisingly relieved to feel the lukewarm fingers of his enemy twitch in response.
Neville laid in bed for what felt like forever, no one to talk to, and too much to think about. He continued to brush Malfoy's fingers every so often, just to check that he was still okay. The pale form didn't so much as roll over in his sleep, but the twitching of his fingers was somehow reassuring, like even though this situation was like falling off a broom into a pile of dung, at least no one was dead. It had all happened so quickly. What had he even been doing there? Why hadn't he just continued on his merry way? Why had he reacted that way to Malfoy? Why had he followed him to the lake?
But the question that truly plagued him, the one that made the tiny touches such a relief, was why hadn't he forced him to go to Dumbledore, or immediately gone to find a teacher?
Once again he reached over to brush the long thin fingers of Draco Malfoy. He remembered how tightly those fingers had held his hand. And then he realized that no force would have stopped Malfoy, and if Neville had gone to get a teacher, then Malfoy could have succeeded, and those fingers wouldn't be twitching. Neville closed his eyes and smiled. He'd been putting himself through the wringer all afternoon, feeling like a moron, and feeling even more guilty that Draco was lying in a hospital bed because no one had helped him, Neville included. But now Neville realized that he had helped Draco. The proof was in every twitch of his fingers against Neville's.
With these positive thoughts floating around, Neville finally drifted off again.
The next time he awoke he could tell that there were people near by. He could hear someone whispering, and another sniffling. Another noise, a cling clang of metal and glass.
He opened his eyes and looked left. Pomfrey was coming towards his and Draco's beds. She was carrying a few vials of different potions, and behind her trailed Dumbledore. Neville gulped. He turned to his right.
Draco was awake. Neville sighed in relief, and before he could stop himself and keep quiet, he started laughing. It was the oddest laugh he'd ever released, but he couldn't stop. His laughter was slightly hysterical, and it sounded very breathy, as if he'd been running around, and was now collapsing in fits of giggles. It took a while, but he finally managed to calm himself down, but he didn't stop smiling, even when he noticed that Draco's eyes were watery with tears, and wide with fear.
"Don't worry, I'm not going nutters." Neville panted slightly. "Just relieved is all." Neville flopped back onto his pillows, took a deep breath, and just kept on smiling.
"Yes, Mr. Longbottom, I believe we can all be joyous that you are both alright." Dumbledore said happily from the foot of his bed. Neville sat up again, and looked from Dumbledore to Draco, to Pomfrey, and back to Draco, or more accurately, Snape, who sat next to Draco's bed. Snape didn't look relieved. Snape looked infuriated. And Draco looked terrified beside him. Neville lifted his hand to reach for those shaking fingers, but stopped himself.
"Oh they most certainly are not alright, Albus!" Madam Pomfrey shrieked indignantly. "Mr. Malfoy was so heavily water logged that I had to pump his stomach as well as replenish blood, because the oxygen flow had been stopped for so long! I had to put the poor boy in stasis so that he wouldn't lose his ability to speak!" She fumed around the room, laying out all of the potions on the little table next to Malfoy's bed. He looked frightened, but drank them all in the order she instructed.
"This is indeed true, Poppy, but as you said, you did manage it, which means Mr. Malfoy might be able to explain all this." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled as they landed on Draco, who looked like he was going to be sick all over the Headmaster. He turned to Snape, his eyes desperately seeking guidance. Snape looked at Draco with a stern glare, but his eyes softened at the look of sheer and utter helplessness in his young charge's eyes. He gave a stiff nod, and Draco turned to Dumbledore again.
"I didn't mean for Longbottom to get hurt, I swear!" He said earnestly, his eyes imploring, pleading with Dumbledore to believe him. "I-I just." His eyes began to water again. Neville felt awful for him. He wouldn't want to be in his position. "I can't." He said softly, clenching his eyes closed tightly.
Dumbledore nodded in sympathy, like he understood what Draco was going through. "I understand that this is difficult to talk about." He said sagely. "Perhaps it would help you to know that I know you've been Marked by the Dark Lord, and that you have a mission to kill me." Draco looked both gobsmacked and more horrified. Dumbledore, on the other hand, looked warm and piteous, like he had offered a treat to help ease Draco into a difficult conversation, instead of hanging him out to dry as he had.
Draco shook with terror. It was one thing to want to kill yourself, it was a whole other story to be waiting for death at the hand of someone else. What was going to happen now? Would he be killed quickly and sent back to Voldemort as a warning from Dumbledore? Or would he be sent back to Voldemort alive, a fate worse than death.
Neville stared at Draco aghast. He had known the boy was a Death Eater, but he hadn't known about this mission. Then he stared at Dumbledore, and his expression grew even more shocked and confused. If he had known, why had he let Draco anywhere near him?
Neville turned his gaze again to the blond Slythrin who sat in his bed shaking uncontrollably, eyes wide in shock and terror, looking torn between utter defeat and the urge to bolt. He looked like a rabbit, a blond, helpless, rabbit.
Neville flung his legs over the right side of his bed and stood up. The gap between the beds was small, only half a meter, but it was the most important step Neville had ever taken. He took Draco's hand in his, and stared determinedly at Dumbledore. "What are you going to do?" He asked.
Draco's head snapped up to look at Neville the moment he felt that big, firm, slightly calloused hand take his own. But after Neville's words his eyes sunk down once again. He was so scared. He'd only felt more scared once in his life, and it felt like a lifetime ago.
"I think the real question, Mr. Longbottom, is what will Mr. Malfoy do?" His blue eyes twinkled behind his half moon glasses. He smiled faintly. "The way I see it, he can either kill me, and deal with all that comes with my death, be that the Dark Lord's favor, or time in Azkaban." Draco paled. "Or," Dumbledore continued. "You can renounce it all now and ask for help, and deal with all that that entails."
Once again, Draco turned to Snape for guidance. He gave his Head of House a pleading look that showed just how lost the youth really was. They held eye contact for a long while before, finally, Snape hung his head and nodded slightly. Draco released a breath and then turned to the Headmaster, a new light in his eyes. "If you can, please help me." He said earnestly. Dumbledore smiled in return.
Everything seemed to happen in fast forward after that. Although, Neville mused, everything had been in fast forward since he had opened the door to Myrtle's bathroom.
"I'm going to do everything I can, my boy, but I need you to tell me everything. The better I understand the situation, the more safely I can protect all parties involved." Dumbledore explained kindly. Draco was still twitchy, but he also seemed eager to get everything off his chest.
"My family, sir?" He asked hopefully.
"Are they in danger?" Dumbledore countered with a raised brow.
Draco bit his lip. If he explained, everything would come out. "Yes, we all are." He answered honestly.
"Who is we, Draco?"
Neville watched Malfoy's eyes well up, and couldn't feel more pity for him. "The Death Eaters, our families, everyone." He whispered. "He's going to kill us all."
"Why?"
"He likes it." Malfoy hissed. "He doesn't trust anyone, so he uses threats to get us to do his bidding." His throat tightened. "He'll kill my mother if I don't kill you." He sobbed. Neville squeezed his hand.
"I was not aware that your mother was Marked."
Draco turned his head away. "She's not, she's just the most important person in my life." It would be all his fault if anything happened.
"This is troubling."
Draco snapped back to lock eyes with Dumbledore. "You said you could help!" He cried.
"And I will." Dumbledore said soothingly. "But it will be difficult. I have no way to move your mother out of harms way at this time, and I can't allow you to kill me."
"What is there to do then?" Draco fumed.
Dumbledore smiled. "Lie." He said simply.
"That's your brilliant plan?" Draco fumed, his cheeks turning red. "Lie?! The most powerful wizard in the world may as well be Gilderoy Fucking Lockhart if your best idea is to lie!" Draco moaned in anguish. "I'm doomed, you should have let me drown!" He raged, he thrashed in his bed, throwing the blankets to the floor. He cried and raged, and all the while everyone else sat quietly.
Eventually Draco cried himself out, and soon, he was a sleeping, sniffling mess. Neville looked at him sympathetically, but he knew he had to be strong for the boy who had now tuckered himself out.
"So, what exactly are you going to do for him." He asked seriously.
"As I said before, , that is all a question of what Mr. Malfoy is willing to do." Dumbledore said solemnly. "If, when he awakens, he is willing to do all it takes, then so will I."
"What is your plan, exactly, sir?" Neville asked tentatively.
"Mr. Malfoy will have to leave the school." Dumbledore began. He held up a finger to quiet Neville's protests. "We will convey to Voldemort that the young Malfoy has been found out as a Death Eater by a fellow student. Severus will tell the Death Eaters that Draco has been moved into Order custody, and though he has not revealed any information, is in bad shape. The Dark Lord will be assured of Mr. Malfoy's loyalty, and though his parents may be harmed, he certainly won't kill them, not if he wants Draco to keep his mouth shut." Neville looked stunned, and impressed. Dumbledore simply winked.
"Where will he be really, sir?" Neville asked after a few minutes of pondering on the plan.
"Somewhere safe, Mr. Longbottom. It will have to be determined as to which Order member will take him in, but rest assured, he will be safe." Neville perked up immediately.
"He can stay at mine and Gran's!" He volunteered. "No one will ever think we'd have him, and our house has been under Fidelius since..." He trailed off unpleasantly. "Well, anyway, he'd be safe."
"That is a very kind offer, Mr. Longbottom, but this will all have to be discussed once Mr. Malfoy is awake and, hopefully, cooperative." Dumbledore said calmly, but seriously.
"I want to go with him." All eyes on the room were on Malfoy, but he was looking out the window to his right. "He's right, no one will suspect that I'm there." He spoke quietly, but plainly.
"Draco, don't be rash, the best protection will be with someone with experience, an auror in the Order." Snape said firmly.
"I don't care, I don't want to be placed with anyone in the Order." Draco replied stubbornly.
"My boy, I assure you that everyone in the Order of the Phoenix is more than qualified to keep you safe." Dumbledore said with a smile.
"No!" Draco snapped. "I would rather go back to Voldemort!" He screamed.
"He's welcome at my place, no problem." Neville offered again.
"Then that's where I'll go." Draco affirmed. "Thank you, by the way." He whispered to Neville.
"His studies?" Snape asked, looking directly at Dumbledore. "His mother would never forgive me if I let him fall behind." The hint of a smile graced his features.
"If he is indeed to stay with the Longbottoms, then Mr. Longbottom will pass along his assignments under the guise of letters to his Grandmother." Dumbledore explained simply.
"It'll be no problem." Neville confirmed.
"No, I'm sure none of this will be a burden on you." Snape sneered at him.
"Come now Severus, Mr. Longbottom has been most gracious." Dumbledore soothed. Severus sulked, but kept quiet. "I think we should let the boys rest for now." He demanded more than suggested. "Come tomorrow, things will change quite rapidly, I believe."
Once they were gone, Neville turned to Draco. "Why did you choose my place?" He asked pointedly.
Draco turned away from Neville's suspicious gaze. "I know what those aurors will think of me, and I know how I'll be treated there." He shivered slightly and pulled his blankets more securely around himself. "I'd be in more danger with someone like that than I would if I stayed loyal to Voldemort."
Neville narrowed his eyes in confusion and disbelief. "I don't think-"
"You should rest like Dumbledore said." Draco interrupted, and silence took over the hospital room.
Neville didn't say anything, and the silence continued for the rest of the night. Dumbledore was right, tomorrow would be busy, and Draco deserved some rest before his entire life was changed.
I know I should stop, but I keep getting inspired! Hope you like it...
