a/n: I swear I never thought I would write more than one Loki/Jane piece, but god I can't help myself.
This was originally written in 2011 and was riddled with errors and plot holes. I've finally decided to clean it up and post in on AO3, but thank you to everyone who read and reviewed and favorited regardless of typos and mess ups!
(This story has been edited for plot holes and errors.)
–
let the water lead us home
'I ran away in floods of shame,
I'll never tell how close I came
as I crossed the hollow road.
Well, you went left and I went right
as the moon hung proud and bright;
you would have loved it here tonight'
–
chapter one: i crossed the hollow road
Jane's senses were overloaded as she felt herself sucked into the Bifrost, Thor's warm arms wrapped around her small waist in a comfortable fashion. Though he carried the title of the god of thunder, he always held her gently, as though he might hurt her with too much pressure. Upon reflection she concluded that he probably could snap her between his fingers like the smallest of twigs. She shuddered slightly in his arms at the thought as they raced through space, her heartbeat raging in her eardrums.
Asgard upon the first blinding moment of her landing there stood tall and breathtaking, much more than Thor had ever described it to her. Her knees felt weak as Thor landed them both on the newly reconstructed bridge; the rainbow light sent speckles of color dancing in her chocolate locks and shimmering upon his rugged face. She felt as though it would be impossible to not smile at the splendor which lay ahead of her as far as her human eyes could trace. Before she could stop herself, she let out a giddy laugh, spinning as to see every thing, treating this experience like it all could be ripped away from her at any moment.
She took in everything from the sea spray that licked at her ankles to the large golden relic of Odin standing in stark contrast to the dying light in the sky. She licked her lips in anticipation and simple joy at the fact that this was not a dream. Her gaze shifted to the sky that held the last explosion of color from the fading day; bright red and orange mingled in with the blue to form a symphony of color.
"This is amazing, Thor!" She says happily, looking at the waves that turned beneath the bridge where her feet were planted.
Thor allowed a bright smile to light up his handsome face as he watched the woman he loved turn and gaze at his father's castle. His long blond hair whipped around in the warm summer wind coming up off the ocean water. He could not have wished for a better outcome, for he knew that Jane would not take Asgard for granted as he had for so many years of his life. The sky was dimming with the fading light from the sun, though the air still felt warm. He sighed in content.
He was home.
–
Jane felt immensely underdressed as Thor's warm and large hand enveloped her own, pulling her excitedly towards the hulking structure that served as his home for so long. Her heart thudded too quickly and she began to feel sweat beads at the nape of her neck, but Thor's exuberance at having her in Asgard left her breathless.
When Thor had stumbled back into her life, she found it hard not to give all of herself to him - to just start tearing his clothes off piece by piece. However, she had simply stood, slack jawed, in her small trailer. She was certain she was hallucinating, because she had dreamed of his large frame pushing her door open and sweeping her off her feet so many times before that moment had actually come to pass.
"Lady Jane," He had said simply, her name falling from his tongue like the sweetest sound she had ever heard. Her shock and astonishment turned quickly to happiness, causing her to drop the bowl she'd just finished washing.
The shatter of the glass on the tile caused her to jump and Thor to flinch a little, but then he let out one of his booming laughs that reminded her, not surprisingly, of thunder. His hair was much longer than she remembered it, but then again she hadn't seen him in several months time. Without warning she reached out a small hand to run her small fingers through the beautiful golden mane. He sighed into her touch, his long frame leaning into her.
"I thought you were never coming back to me." She admits quietly, her face pressed into his solid chest, the heat flowing from his warm arms into her cooler skin. This was what serenity must feel like, she could remember thinking.
His warmth had lingered in her veins throughout the rest of that cool winter night in the New Mexico desert. He had laid against her on the bed in the back of the trailer, while she hummed soft lullabies into his ears. Jane had been gifted with logic and intelligence, but she could also sing, much better than she let on to others usually.
Since the age of three, Jane Foster had loved to sing to anyone who would listen to her. Of course this passion left her when she realized if she wanted to be taken seriously in the scientific field, she'd have to give up such frivolities. She missed it, the melody that would swell within her chest and the words that would then flow from her lips - it seemed to always be burning just below the surface and sometimes she found she just couldn't contain it any longer.
The happiness at having Thor back with her again gave her the courage to let the song slips from her throat and encompass them both.
"That was very beautiful, Jane." Thor's voice sounded scratchy from sleep, "I remember being sung to as a boy." He said gently, because it has literally been centuries ago and those memories seem to be the ones going the quickest.
Jane raised an eyebrow at him, "By your mother?" She asked candidly, tracing different patterns into his bare forearm. His face stretched into what she could only describe as a small, sad smile.
"No, actually, it was Loki that used to sing to me. He always had a talent for music that I will never possess."
She hid her surprise from his admittance, watching as the glow from the overhead light flickered in his glossy eyes. He seemed lost in thought, probably back to when Loki had been his brother and not his enemy.
"Sometimes even now when I cannot sleep I long for him to sing to me." With that he rolled over sleepily, allowing his large body to fall into the state of rest it so very needed.
–
The wide sweeping doors that led into the ornate hall of Odin left Jane feeling like the tiny, mortal woman she was. The gold that shimmered all around her depicted scenes of great battles and kings in other worlds past. She let her jaw drop as she gazed at all the splendor and magnificence, leaving a chuckling Thor in her wake as she went to examine the walls and floor.
"I see you are enjoying my hall, Lady Jane." A deep voice called to her. It sounded like comfort and wisdom and strength all wrapped up in one blow. She turned to see Odin standing at the end of the cavernous room, a smile dancing lightly on his lips.
"Oh, yes, sir. It is beautiful." She said quickly before bowing her head in an embarrassed fashion, adverting her eyes from his lined face. Laughter rang out from behind her and she felt the vibrations of glee when Thor placed a massive hand on the small of her back, sending tingles up her entire spine.
"You need not be embarrassed, Jane." Thor spoke gently, still smiling down at this peculiar woman before turning his gaze up to his father. "Father, this is the woman I told you about all those months ago."
Odin was peering down at Jane in an interested fashion, his uncovered eye taking in her beauty and her obviously humble persona. She complimented his son, though her energy was not one he generally associated with Thor. He could read that she was logical, most assuredly a scientific being, someone who found solace in problems and finding solutions.
"Yes, she is very lovely, indeed. It seems we have much more discussing to do." The All Father answered cryptically, causing Jane's brow to furrow in confusion, though she did not speak her questions aloud.
She watched the way Thor looked at his father with such an enchanted gaze, as if Odin held every thing Thor had ever wanted. Then again, he in all likelihood did. She wished that as a child she had been given something that meant as much to her as Odin meant to his son. She briefly pondered, not for the first time, where Loki fell into all of this at.
"Yes, allow me to take Jane to her chambers and I will come to speak with you." The blond said to his father, placing an arm around Jane's slender body. The All Father nodded, turning to allow them both to leave in peace.
"It was nice to meet you, sir." Jane said at the last moment, causing Odin to give a gentle nod to her, surprising him with her bravery.
Perhaps she was not so unlike Thor, after all.
–
She listened to Thor's heavy footsteps retreat from her chambers as looked around the spacious room that had been given to her. The theme of the room was a deep blue color, splashes and swirls of blue on the walls and deep colored sheets. She loved it, all the colors reminded her of a clear night sky, just light enough so it wasn't totally black, but dark enough to see the stars.
She had a large window that overlooked the back side of the castle, stretching as far as the eye could make out into the West. She watched as the sun finally slid behind the mountains in the distance, the stars slowly popping up one by one. Though they were not the constellations she had studied and loved so much as a child, she still could not stop the joy that spread throughout her at the sight of them. Asgard gave her a chance to learn again, a chance she vowed not to take for granted.
She stood, deciding that she would go search for the observatory that Thor had once told her about back on Earth. It didn't frighten her to be on a different planet; Jane had never feared a challenge, when she was given the choice between safety and adventure, she always chose adventure. Her feet carried her back out into the hallway, then she found a back entrance to the building relatively quickly.
Her mind gave her a logical map to follow in order to find her destination, but she was constantly distracted along the way, her eyes drifting towards all the streets and the bright flowers that lined them. Even the air smelled beautiful in Asgard; it was more than she could have ever imagined without actually witnessing it for herself.
At last she found the round topped building, with a shock she realized that it also doubled for the portal to the Bifrost. Standing at the entrance, ever vigilant, was Heimdall; his dark eyes roved over her, analyzing what her purpose was in being in front of him. He held his gaze steady, watching as she looked at all the things around her, he noticed the small smile that laced her features.
"You wish to look at the stars, do you not, Lady Foster?" He asked, sure of his query. She whipped around to see him, her face still lit up with interest.
"Yes, I do. Is that... is that acceptable?" She asked, catching the keeper off guard, it was rare anyone ever asked him to gaze at the stars. The last person to do so had been the silver-tongued prince, but that had been a very long time ago.
"Yes, you may use any of the telescopes you deem satisfactory." He said slowly, side stepping so as to not be in her way. She smiled her thanks up to him and moved by him to enter the circular room, with its bronze insides gleaming in the light being emitted by the energy source housed in the middle of the floor.
She gazed up through a long, copper telescope into the heavens; she gasped with awe because it wasn't like Earth where she felt as though the stars were so far away; here looking through the telescope she could have sworn that she could touch the bright balls hanging in the empty space.
She began by drawing them slowly in her pocket journal, wondering whether or not anyone had ever bothered to name them before. Surely they had, she couldn't be the first one on the planet to be interested in astronomy. She saw Heimdall's dark hand in her peripheral vision and looked over at him quickly.
"The answer you seek is yes." Heimdall said suddenly, taking her by surprise. Thor had explained the Heimdall could see all, so perhaps that included her thoughts. "Prince Loki named all the constellations in our skies. You will find his work in the volumes on the shelves." With that the gate keeper turned, repositioning himself at the archway into the domed room.
It struck her that Loki had given so much to his family and to the Asgardians, and once again she wondered what had caused him to change his mind about his home. She plucked a thick tome off the shelf and opened it to find meticulously drawn illustrations as well as notes scrawled in excellent penmanship. He had outlined many of the constellations she had just witnessed through the telescope.
The care that had gone into these drawings struck her like one of Thor's hammer fells. Loki must have spent ages just staring through a telescope, night after night. She briefly stopped to contemplate what Thor was doing while his brother was down here, sketching. Thor was in most likelihood training to become the king, fighting and sparring, but Loki dedicated himself to the task of preserving the heavens for generations to come. The thought caused her to smile a little.
She instantly regretted her lapse in judgement because she knew what Loki had done and who he had become, and she could not excuse that behavior for the simple fact that he had given so much to science. She shook her head and decided that what she needed most was sleep. She tidied up around her, placing the heavy book back on the long shelf.
It was as she made her way back through Asgard that she first heard the keys of a piano being played in such a beautiful fashion it caused her to she simply stop in the street to listen. The strange lament made her heart ache and she was struck with a desire to ask Thor what had become of his brother.
She hummed along with notes hanging in the warm air, her thoughts miles away with the constellations in the dark sky.
–
Thor whooped with laughter as Volstagg charged him, delighting in how easily sparring came naturally to the prince. It was in fighting that he found his true contentment, his balance of rage and peace. It was a bright, clear morning, the fog hovering above the grounds in front of the castle where he raised his hammer to fight his most trusted friends.
His mind travelled back to the previous night when Jane had posed an interesting question to him after they had dined together in his chambers. Her brown hair was pulled out of her face, causing her to look more angular and less soft - Thor was not sure if he liked this look on her or not. However, he was sure of her in his heart, especially after his discussion with his father the night before.
"Thor what happened to Loki? After you came back to me?" She whispered, almost as if she were afraid to ask him. He felt the smallest twinge in his chest, every time his brother's name fell from another's lips it was like a brand searing into his heart.
"He was sentenced to remain on Asgard for the rest of his days." Thor voiced gently, looking at his roaring fire place, watching the flames lick at the logs. Jane had shot him a puzzled look.
"Why here? He tried to destroy you all, right?" She asked him, trying to understand his simple statement. He sighed and finally looked up at her, the flames from the fire dancing in his eyes.
"No, he tried to destroy the Frost Giants. Loki has always been mischievous, but his actions have their consequences," Thor began softly, "Loki wanted to prove his worth to my father, he said," the thunder god stumbled across his words briefly, trying to sort them out in his mind, "He said he only ever wanted to be my equal." Thor choked out, the memory still haunting him. It had frightened him how much Loki had not looked like himself as he at uttered those dark thoughts that had plagued him for so long.
"Okay, but that doesn't justify trying to destroy an entire race." Jane pointed out logically, still not understanding where he was coming from.
"To Loki it did. I found out from my father later that Loki is not my biological brother. Father found him during the battle with the Frost Giants. He took the small child whom he discovered was Laufey's son." He hated saying the words out loud because they didn't sound like the right words to him. They sounded jumbled and in no way eloquent, as though he could never do Loki justice by them.
"Oh shit." Jane swore mildly, a small hand coming up to cover her face in horror. "So he, he just wanted to prove that he could be an Asgardian. He was trying to better Asgard in a warped way." She inferred and Thor simply nodded at her, grateful that she finally understood.
"He was forced to remain here to keep an eye on him, but also because he loves Asgard; father understands Loki and I trust his judgement." Thor's last statement held a tone of finality and Jane simply nodded at him. She felt that it was cruel to force Loki to stay in a place where no one would ever forgive him for his actions. In a moment of clarity she felt that Loki was a lot more human than she had once believed.
"Oi! Thor, are you even listening to me?" Fandral's voice broke into Thor's train of thought, catching him off guard with a blow to the chest. Thor chuckled, aiming a hit at his friend.
Sif stood watching both men fight, laughing slightly at their childish antics. She could remember why she wanted to be a warrior so badly, because after she awoke to dark locks, she realized that it would be the only way Thor would ever truly look at her again. So she fought for her right to ride into battle by his side.
"Sif! Why are you not joining in on the sparring?" Thor asked, heavily panting after finishing with Fandral. The sweat glistened on his forehead in the bright sun light as he downed a canteen of water.
"I find it much more instructional to watch you two blunder around each other; it teaches me what not to do in battle." She threw the playful dig at him and he laughed once more, a sound that always enchanted her.
The two caught sight of Jane making her way out of the castle and into the wide gardens. Sif watched the way Thor's eyes traced after her, such content written all over his face that it broke her heart. She realized that he was looking down at her with interested eyes after a moment.
"Sif, do you find Jane to be agreeable?" Thor asked her, his tone filled with pure curiosity.
Sif looked to where Jane had been a moment ago, "Yes, she is very agreeable. Though I fail to see why you need my opinion on such matters." She answered honestly, to which Thor merely blinked down at her.
"You have been one of my most trusted friends for centuries, I should like to know if you find anyone agreeable." His words caused warmth to swell within her chest, her cheeks turning only the slightest shade of crimson.
"Then yes, Thor, she is much agreeable. However, I did not think you found dark hair to be appealing?" She said, recalling memories of a time that seemed to be a different life.
"That was long ago, Sif, I was foolish back then. Earth taught me many things about beauty." He answered simply, giving a soft smile down at her. "Now get out there and fight me so I may keep your ego in check." He followed up, giving her a pat on the shoulder, before returning to the field.
Sif laughed as she made her way towards him, allowing herself the smallest amount of hope.
–
It wasn't too terribly warm out as Jane made her quick way through the backstreets of Asgard, exploring the many facets of the realm. The people of Asgard were all kind and receptive to her, though many of them towered over her. When Thor had spoken of giants, Jane wondered how big they must be to be considered giants to an Asgardian.
She ran over Thor's words from the previous night with chagrin. "He said he only ever wanted to be my equal." The small sentence reverberated in echoes around her mind. She'd always thought Loki was just some sadistic bastard, but in reality he was just incredibly wounded - misguided, for sure, but she could understand him a bit better now.
Being lost in her thoughts carried her away from the main hub of Asgard, into the less populated part of town. The forest was close now, she knew not to venture in there, for she might never find her way out. A sound interrupted her thought pattern and she snapped still at the melody of a piano drifting in the air. It was the same sad tune she had heard before, the noise sounded much closer to her now, however.
She followed the song as best she could, through winding side roads and cluttered bunches of trees until she emerged at a small cabin like home. The piano sounded louder than ever and she realized with a jolt it was coming from right beyond the back garden. She peered through the crack in the gate, to see the back of a slender man, his pale fingers spread across the keys.
"What brings you here, Jane Foster?" The man asked abruptly, stopping his fingers from progressing any further into the song.
His voice was calm and smooth, it washed over her and she felt drawn in by the caressing tone of it. It was one of those voice she could have listened to read a phone book or dictionary and not complained once. His black hair fell over the green of his cloak trailing to the ground. He was in stark contrast with the white piano in front of him.
"I heard you playing while I was walking. It was a beautiful piece." She admitted honestly, after she found the ability to form words once more. "Did you write it?" The question spilled from her lips without her permission, but she couldn't take it back.
"You should not be here, Lady Foster." His words come out carefully, as if he were using them to veil something else. After a pregnant pause he turned from the piano towards her; his face strikes her, firstly because of how pale he is, especially with his raven hair. Secondly because he is stunning - he is not ruggedly handsome like Thor, but his face is angular and the only word she can come up with to describe him is 'beautiful.'
"You're Loki, aren't you." It's not so much a question as a definitive statement. His green cape has given him away to her if nothing else; she takes a moment to think to herself that this man is not what she pictured Loki as at all.
He sent a half smirk in her direction, "Yes, and you are Jane Foster. My br-" He caught himself mid sentence, "Thor brought you to Asgard several days ago." He said it in a bored tone, but Jane could tell that he was interested in what she was doing there. She stood in defiance to him, her bravery fueling her.
"It seems you know quite a bit about me already." She stated bluntly, her eyes leaving his face to take in the rest of his garden. The flowers were colorful and exotic, mingling nicely with the plain color of the large piano.
"I simply observe. I also know why the god of thunder has brought you here." He sounded confident of himself and she looked around to him, clearly puzzled by this statement.
His eyes had not left her face as though he was trying to memorize every facet of her complexion. His gaze holds such an intensity she felt like she should turn away, she did not allow herself to though. She studied him just as closely, from his bright green eyes to the silver ring that traced his right middle finger. Within the ring lay a beautiful gem, one that Jane recognized from her years in the science field. Labradorite was not a rare gem, but she has only seen it twice in her life, both times being in a museum. The blue and green color transfixed her for a moment before she could remember what he has just spoken aloud to her.
"He knew I wanted to see Asgard, he understands my love of the stars and cosmos." She defended quickly, causing Loki to smirk at her once more.
"He intends to marry you." He said without any pretense and she felt her entire body freeze up in a small panic.
"I- what?" She blurted out, thoroughly confused by this pronouncement.
Loki laughs a throaty laugh with the smallest touch of malice to it. "Mortals may only visit Asgard if an Asgardian is seeking permission from the king to be wed." He returned simply, as though this is plain knowledge, she realized with a pang that it probably was well known to the locals.
"Well that seems like a stupid rule." She said after a moment of thinking about ridiculous it would be if Thor asked her to marry him; they'd only been together for a month.
The slender man stood to his full height after a moment, she could see where his giant blood came in. "Perhaps, but then again we can't just make anyone immortal, now can we?" His eyes sparkled with mirth at her obvious confusion. "Well, not technically immortal, but you would live for thousands of years. You would be queen for several millennia also." His tone had taken on a biting sarcasm but she ignored this, looking to the insecure thought that must be behind his statements.
"Did you write that piece or not?" She said, aiming to distract him from his bitter thoughts of the throne and Thor. His face darkens for a brief moment before he looks back up at her.
"Yes. Music is simply another channel for magic." It was a definitive answer and she thought he probably just said a lot more than he believed he had. "They will be expecting you for dinner soon, Lady Foster. I would suggest making your way back." He spoke before turning back to his piano, she knew she needed to leave, but glimpsed his half turned face.
"I saw your drawings of the constellations. They were incredible." With that she turned from him, making her quick footsteps away from his garden and back towards the heart of Asgard.
She swore she could hear Loki's song during the entire trek back to the castle, and if she strained her ears hard enough, she might hear words sung in a foreign tongue.
–
Loki listened to the sound of her feet traveling the path back to Thor, a path he had traveled many times in the past. He lifted his hands once more to the keys, one of his few remaining means of clarity and relief. His fingers danced across the ivory in a rhythm he had long since perfected.
He opened his mouth and allowed the words to the old song to flow out, he remembered hearing it for the the first time as a boy. He can recall singing it to Thor one night when he couldn't sleep, his memories often seem to lead him back to Thor. Sometimes he thinks life would have been easier if he had simply not cared about his father's attention. Loki had always been ambitious and power hungry, though, craving the love from a parent that he now knows he never truly had.
Yet, when all the rest of Asgard feared and loathed him, Thor's soon to be betrothed came to him, without fear or hesitation. She had openly complimented him; perhaps she was a fool, but maybe she could see that he was not evil. He shook his head and began to lead into the next verse of the old song.
Jane Foster was certainly beautiful, her dark hair contrasting with her paler skin tone. She did not seem to him as a conventional choice for his brother, being a woman without golden hair. Her eyes had sparkled when he spoke of music and magic being fused, causing more interest to flare up inside him, though he knew he should not be concerned in the least with the frail Midgardian mortal.
Still, the look on her face as he told her that Thor intended to marry her was what truly peaked his curiosity. She did not look thrilled or even surprised - she was frightened, as though it was some sort of trap.
He allowed the song to die within his throat as the sun sank behind the mountains in the West. He stood once more from his bench, waving his hands over the instrument in order for it to disappear.
Loki would lie awake all night, the vision of Jane's face stuck in his mind, and for one human second, he allowed himself the hope that perhaps she would return to see him once again.
–
a/n: the song I have in mind for Loki to sing as a lullaby is "Byrd One Brere" if you look it up on youtube, find a translation too, because it just felt like such a Loki song to me.
