Gazing out of a window at the Salvatore house, I spy two does grazing on the tree line. I thought it beautiful the way that they moved around each other, both looking out for each other and keeping the other safe. It was more than just a friendship, they depended on each other. But that was all it was, there was feeling. They lived in a world where their utmost concern was their survival. Their relationship was safe. Not so different from one of my own.
Stefan came into my life at a time that I needed someone. Because of my actions, my parents ended up dead. As a result Jeremy had gone off the rails and Jenna had taken over as our guardian. And I was in my own personal hell. Stefan saved me from that and somehow gave me the strength to pick up the broken pieces that were what was left of my family.
It was time for me to face my feelings. It was time for me to accept that being safe wasn't enough for me anymore. After I turned, and after all the horrible things I'd done, it was time for me to stop hiding from my problems and to start facing them and along the way learn to take care of myself. Being a vampire only insured that.
With Stefan I feel love and gratitude to him for all those times that he saved my life, all the times that he was there for me, and the unwilling faith he had in me. But there was nothing more, I knew that now.
Damon had snuck up on me. Even when I was with Stefan, he had a pulling effect on me. He's dark, sexy, and dangerous, but he also makes me constantly question the life I was living and life itself. He challenges me and excites me. His unwavering love consumes me and he makes me feel things I'm scared to feel. But of all the good ways he changes me, what kind of person would it make me not to take that leap?
"Hey", interrupting my thoughts, I turned to see Damon leaning against the doorframe leading out of his room. I nodded and turned back to the window. "You okay?", he asked as he sauntered over to me.
Emotions were starting to mix and boil over,"yeah" I responded, sounding strangled.
He then gently pulled me to him so my back was flush against his chest and his hands on my waist. He leaned in so his breath tickled my ear,"you sure?" I shook my head, mute. "Elena, what's wrong?"
I needed to tell him. I needed to take the jump. I owed that to him, I owed that to myself. "In in love with you, Damon."
He stilled behind me, "Elena..."
"No wait," I interrupted. "I just need to say it and you need to hear it just once." I grabbed his hands and moved them so he encompassed me in an embrace."I am willing to try this, Damon, but first I need to know that this wont be a rerun of my time with Stefan." I turned in his arms so I could look up at him. His eyes held a sliver of hope as he looked at me with uncertainty and disbelief. I wrapped my arms around his neck as I looked into his eyes. "I don't need anyone to take care of me anymore. I don't want safety, I want a love that consumes me, and you, Damon, you consume me." I stood there waiting for him to react or say something but he continued to stare at me, but this time with guarded eyes.
Embarrassed and devastated I unwound my arms from his neck and turned and walked back towards the window. I started to apologize, but before I could say anything I felt his body press up against mine, his hands trailed my waist and pressed flat against my stomach. "I will always be in love with you Elena. You alone hold my heart." I heard him whisper behind me before he swept my hair to the side and kissed my neck. Where he had kissed me, my skin was on fire. I shivered involuntarily and arched my neck to give him better access as he swept a burning trail of kisses to my hairline.
I couldn't take it any more when his tongue flicked across my skin. I turned around and grabbed his face in my hands and pressed my lips to his. He grabbed my hands and moved them to his waist and then took my face in his hands and caressed me and kissed me slow and sensuously. I slowly moved my hands down his body and eased my hands under the hem of his shirt and took in his defined chest.
This was heaven. This was right. It was where I belonged and intended to stay for the rest of eternity.
