Cell Parody

The Unraveling of Cell

Perfect Cell gazed down on his antagonists. The moment had come to rid himself of all of them. Goku stood before him, ready. Gohan waited in the wings. Piccolo, Tien, Vegeta, Yamcha, Trunks, and Krillin watched carefully. Too much was on the line for anything to go wrong now. Everyone knew that. There was one who did not pay attention to the battle. Old King Kai was worried about other disturbances. The universe was in turmoil, a rip might cause more disaster. If he could only…but then the feared event happened.

Cell watched as his enemies grew fourfold! One of them, a blonde long haired girl, said, "Ooh, an evil being! I will stop it!" Cell grinned and thought about his need for a boost before facing Goku. His plunger went out and absorbed the uniformed girl before anything was possible. He once again got ready to go. He raised his voice, began doing weird hand motions, and said,

" You have gotten in my destructive path,

And that is not right,

Your good deeds will cease to exist,

For I am Perfect Cell, master of love and destruction,

And I will punish you."

With Cell pointing at them in a weird way, Goku and Gohan's jaws dropped to the floor. Yamcha had fallen on his back, dying of laughter. Vegeta and Piccolo stood still with stunned looks on their faces. Cell realized that he had just uttered the last phrase and was shell-shocked. Silence reigned at the contest and nothing was done for the period of a few minutes. Cell regained his composure and began again to start his attack on Goku. He raised his hand and uttered "CHAIN OF LOVE!" Vegeta's eyes nearly bugged with what he saw. Cell caught himself and looked at his raised hand. There was no doubt that a chain of love was there above him. Cell was stuck looking at the chain in his raised hand. Gohan was in shock. Goku turned to his son and said, "What do you think happened to Cell?"

"Who's Cell?"

Goku looked annoyed, "I don't think I have to explain to you Gohan who the maniacal android is."

"Who is Gohan?"

Goku looked down beside him and between him and Gohan was a boy. "You know Trunks, you're progressively younger and that annoys me."

"Trunks? Who's that?"

Goku said loudly, "Who are you and what is that thing with wing-ears, and can you stop Cell or not."

"I'm T.K. and this is Patamon, and if Cell is the thing over there, then I think we can stop him."

"Kid, you have no power level, how do you expect to beat Cell?"

"With Patamon."

"Please, I know you're probably a good kid, but what he going to do, be too cute to handle?"

"Are there any control spires around here?"

"I have NO clue, I do not know what one is!"

"OK."

Patomon…digivolve to…ANGEMON

"Angemon, digivolve again!"

Angemon…digivolve to…MAGNAANGEMON

"Cute guy, but I need a MIRACLE, not an ANGEL. Besides, He doesn't register a level either. I like the wings though."

"Anyone can do that."

Goku turned around again to answer this third voice. "Who are you?"

"I am Van Finel, of Finelia"

"I see, Gohan, take your friends somewhere ELSE, I am trying to defeat Cell here, and concentration is often useful." Gohan led the cluster away even though he knew none of them and he might be needed in the fight. He wanted to stay, but this uncomprehensible problem had arisen.

Cell had gotten over the chain thing and settled down to the fight. He had stressed over the changes to his programming and decided to absorb the guy with the black hair with blue suede shoes. He did so and turned on Goku.

"Cell, you evil being! You beat Piccolo and Vegeta and killed millions, but it ends here! "

Cell said, "Why's that, mama?" Cell paused and then continued, "You know I ain't nothing but a hound-dog. Uh-huh, uh-huh." Goku said, "Cell, no more play acting! I'm here to stop you."

"Why stop me? You can stop calling me Cell and start calling me the Love Doctor."

Cell was driving himself crazy and Goku was not much better off. Cell readied himself again, "CHAIN OF LOVE!" He charged. Goku dodged the attack and a little kid ran out. "I'll stop him! If only Ryo and Whiteblaze were here to see me do it." Cell moved fast and absorbed the small boy. "KHAMEHAMEMAHA!" Cell thundered, but no blast was produced. The internal struggle within him caused him to collapse. He could not do it. He grabbed his head as forces unseen were tearing his mind apart. He could not be evil, not with these personalities coming through. The goodness, love, the idiocy, and rhythm were too much for the systematic killer.

Goku saw Cell writhing in pain and realized he was not a threat anymore. Cell calmed and went into a comatose state, he had lost the internal struggle and Morality had come to claim his conscience. Goku could sense the change of heart. He called for Gohan, who brought his acquaintances with him. "What are we going to do with him, Dad?" T.K. popped out from behind Gohan, "I think I know." Magnangemon nodded and with a GATE OF DESTINY…opened the vacuum-like gate. Goku and Gohan put Cell carefully in the gate and he slowly disappeared within in it. Cell muttered, "The King has left the building." And with his last breath said,

"The King lives."

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragonball Z, Digimon, Escaflowne, Sailor Moon (thank god), Ronin Warriors, or the king of Rock and Roll.

-Look for Cell to crossover for more hijinks in another fic.