A/N

You guys wanted it so here it is! Another Zadf just for you! No Zadr is in this story! Just wanted to let you know. Enjoy and review!

"And that concludes our lesson on why you lead such miserable existences."

Dib shook his head at the insane Miss Bitters. She was such a creepy lady…

He gathered his books and began to leave the room when he heard his teacher call for Zim. Immediately he stayed behind and listened to their conversation.

"Zim, the skool principle looked through your files and noticed that you haven't had a dental check in your ENTIRE life." She hissed.

"Dental check? What is the meaning of this?" He yelled dramatically.

She shoved a large file spilling with papers into his arms.

"Just get your parents to schedule you an appointment at the dentist and have them fill out the paperwork. Now, leave!"

She pointed out the door and Zim left the room quickly when he heard a snake rattle. He shivered at the insane teacher.

"What an odd human…" He mumbled before bumping into Dib who was smiling evilly.

"What's wrong, Zim Afraid to go to the dentist and have them discover you're an alien?"

"Nonsense, Dib-stink. I am quite excited to attend this 'dentist'." But honestly, he had no clue what the dentist even was.

"I bet you don't even know where it is. Imagine you going to the dentist completely alone when you don't even know where or what it is. Unless you really want to bring those malfunction robots you call your parents."

Zim considered the option but cringed at the thought of taking them along. Surely it would not be wise. But how was he supposed to accomplish this dentist appointment? Dib was right on one thing: he did not know where or what the dentist was.

"I will find out." He spat as he marched off, but Dib stopped him.

"Or I could come with you and show you." He suggested.

Zim froze.

"And why would you do that, Dib-beast? What is in it for you?"

"Oh, nothing except living proof that you're an alien!"

He balled his fist angrily while the boy laughed at his genius idea. Zim was fully aware that without Dib's help, he would not be able to locate the dentist office. He could not ask his computer for it barely had any files about humans. It mostly contained Irken information, weapon information, blue prints, and a small amount of general human knowledge. The need had never risen to know where a dentist was at so he had never researched and stored any files. And Gir was completely out of the question. He did not even want to think about sending Gir out to search the strange town for it. The only option left was to take up Dib's offer.

He growled.

"All right, Dib! I'll play your little game. But be warned! You will not get your filthy human hands on a single piece of evidence on the mighty Zim!"

Dib blinked, uninterested.

"So I'll meet you at your base tomorrow morning?"
"Sure." Zim responded casually. The two parted ways, Dib smiling, Zim worrying.

Early the next morning, Dib rang the doorbell to the odd green house. He was surprised when the gnomes did not attack him. Gir opened the door and squeaked a greeting.

"Hi, I'm here to…"

But Gir was all ready walking back to his TV and watching cartoons. Dib invited himself in and closed the door behind him. When he looked up, he saw Zim standing at the kitchen entrance, antennas and ruby eyes uncovered.

"Oh!" Dib lunged at his pocket to grab his camera but by the time it was turned on, it was too late.

"Nice try, human." Zim smirked, adjusting his wig.

"Let's just get this over with." He said before heading for the door.

"Shouldn't we take the Voot Cruiser?"

"It's right around the corner, so no."

Dib felt good as he saw the alien grow angry, but follow him out the door.

"If I knew it was right around the corner, I would not have accepted your assistance. But it is not too late to make you leave." His spider legs extended and he grabbed Dib by the collar, lifting him in the air and off the safety of the ground.

"You still don't even know the direction, so I would put me down before you did anything."

But he remained, his legs dangling and the wind whipping through his hair.

"If you don't go through with this appointment, everyone will begin to wonder why and get suspicious." He added quickly while glancing at ground below.

Zim growled and released his grip on his coat. Dib fell straight on his face and gagged as chunks of sidewalk found their way into his mouth.

"As soon as we are finished, I will—"

"Yeah, yeah, send me to a wormhole with a room with a moose, feed my brains to your robot, or send a giant water balloon my way. I get it."

Zim's face fell dramatically.

"Let's just get this over with."

They walked in silence, save for the times Zim stuck his leg out and tripped Dib and the times Dib found water and splashed it on Zim. By the time they arrived on the street the office was on, they were both laughing, even having fun. Zim closed an eye to avoid Dib's attack, but they both bulged out of his head as he stared at the building in horror. Screams could be heard coming from within, even through the thick, metal walls. Yes, metal walls. A full grown man came out panting and crying. A rusty sign blew lightly in the wind. It read Danger's Dentist.

Zim backed away from the scary building.

"I have gone through Irken training, discipline, and punishment, but this…this is just a torture place!"

Dib rushed behind him and pushed him towards the door. Zim stuck his legs straight out against the sidewalk, his arms grasping Dib's trench coat with a death grip.

"You have to go in! You know what will happen if you don't"

But the alien refused to budge. Dib thought of a way to get him to move, but came up empty-handed. Then he discovered what was most important to Zim.

"It could be a threat to your mission if you don't do this."

His legs immediately went limp and he fell to the ground.

"A threat to my mission?" He questioned. His face still held the same fearful look, though.

Dib nodded.

"This could mean all of your hard work was for nothing."

Hard work, yeah right… He thought.

But it seemed to work for Zim returned to his usual courageous self and stood boldly.

"You are right, Dib-human! I must do this for the mission!"

He ran into the office screaming "For the mission!" Dib shook his head and face-palmed at the odd Irken.

Inside, they walked up to the receptionist.

"I have arrived for the appointment of dental!" He yelled. "Where do I check in?" He asked calmly.

She handed him a clipboard to fill out his information and he handed it back after ten seconds. Most of the paper was blank for he could not put down his address or date of birth or medical history. The lady glanced at the paper, up at Zim, and then shrugged carelessly before tossing it into a pile of other clipboards.

"You may take a seat now. Dr. Coffin will be with you shortly."

"Dr. Coffin?" Dib asked. He was beginning to get scared and he wasn't even the one with the appointment. The two took a nervous seat and counted each time they heard a scream or a muffled cry from behind the door. They reached seventy-two screams and two hundred fifty-two muffled cries.

The door opened and Dib expected to see a dental assistance but instead, was greeted by darkness.

"You may enter…" A dark voice droned.

Zim raised an eyebrow and hesitatingly went through the door. Dib followed closely behind.

"What are you doing, Dib-beast?"

"How am I supposed to get my evidence if I am in the waiting room?" He asked..

Zim furrowed his eyebrows and returned his attention to the dark hall. The hallway was nearly pitch black, with the exception of the torches hanging on the walls. Out of nowhere, a man or woman (they couldn't tell which one it was because it was wearing a grim reaper cloak) led the way, torch in hand. Dib stooped over to glance at a read stain on the wall.

"Is this rust or…blood?" He questioned in horror. The person simply chuckled darkly and continued. It opened a door and light poured into the hallway. Zim and Dib shielded their eyes at the bright light and stepped blindly into the room. When they finally opened their eyes, they gasped.

It was…normal looking.

A cheerful man walked out of a nearby closet and waved at the pair.

"Hello! I am Dr. Coffin! You must be Zim." He greeted cheerfully.

Zim shook his hand and glanced up at the odd man. No words came out so Dib took over.

"What's going on here? Why is the rest of the building spooky but this room is fine?"

The man chuckled.

"Everyone expects a scary dentist office when they come here because of my name, the name of the building, and the interior. It's just to mess with my patients." Dr. Coffin cheerfully explained.

"But we heard screams and everything?"

"Oh!" He pulled out a tape player. "That was just this." He clicked play and the familiar cries echoed through the room.

"This is just stupid." Dib concluded before taking a seat in the corner, readying his camera.

The dentist pointed to the dental chair and Zim took his seat. He glanced around the room and his heart raced at the sight of all the sharp objects.

"It is a torture building!" He yelled.

Dr. Coffin smiled and placed a napkin-like cloth around his neck. Zim watched his every movement, completely terrified.

"Now say ahhh!"

"Ahhhh!" But it came out sounding more like a scream than anything.

"Look, Dr. Coffin! Do you see his teeth? What human has fangs like that?" Dib pointed out excitedly.

"Hmmm…" He examined his teeth, tapping them with one of the sharp tools.

"And look at his tongue! Have you ever seen a person with a tongue like that?"

"Oh, you retched—ack!" But Zim had no time to finish for the dentist grabbed a pair of tweezers and pulled Zim's tongue out very far. Inhumanely far.

"It is rather long." He analyzed.

"See? Clearly not a human tongue."

Dib folded his arms victoriously.

"Tongue condition."

His face suddenly dropped.

"What?"

Dr. Coffin shook his head and pointed at Zim's tongue.

"It is a tongue condition. That's all."

"But…" Dib stuttered as Zim laughed.

"Foolish attempt, Dib-stink!"

He opened his mouth once again to begin the examination. The dentist picked and poked at his teeth, observing each tooth intensively.

"Well, Zim. Good news. It looks like you only have one cavity."

His eyes bulged out of his head.

"What? A cavity? How can this be? I clean my teeth!"

He shrugged.

"Sometimes people just develop cavities even if they take good care of their teeth."

Zim raised his fists in the air and began pounding the chair over and over.

"No! The fluoride has failed me!"

Dr. Coffin grabbed his tools and inched towards Zim.

"Okay, Zim. Time to repair that cavity."

Zim stopped in mid-scream and looked at the dentist.

"What?"

"Open up."

"O-Okay."

Dib could see the fear in his eyes and laughed. He took out his camera, ready for more evidence but paused, He could see Zim's entire body shaking with fear. His claws dug into the arms of the chair, eyes starring the sharp tools down as if they were knives ready to cut him open. Even his worst enemy couldn't bare the sight.

"Um, Dr. Coffin?"

He stopped and faced the big-headed boy.

"Yes?"
"Do you think maybe you could just fill out those papers and say we got the examination done even though we didn't finish?"

The dentist stared at the boy as if it were the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard, but shrugged and grabbed the papers.

"Sure."

Zim glanced at his enemy in shock.

A few minutes later, they were walking out the door and back to the base.

"Why did you do that, Dib-beast?"

Dib shrugged.

"Was it because you already obtained your evidence?" He asked angrily.

But Dib shook his head.

"I saw how terrified you were. I guess I just don't like seeing anyone that afraid."

Zim walked in silence for a few moments before speaking, though his voice was nearly a whisper.

"It reminded me of an autopsy."

Dib stopped in his tracks.

"What?" He asked, looking over at the alien.

Zim peered at the ground, ashamed.

"When I had all of those sharp tools coming towards me and I was lying on the table-like chair, I guess it just reminded me of being strapped down to an autopsy table."

"That was why you were so afraid?"

He nodded and gazed down at the camera Dib held.

"I saw you get pictures. I suppose you will be sending them in?"

His voice was low and he stared forward. Fear had crept into his voice and Dib knew what he was afraid of. He was afraid of Dib exposing him and landing him on an autopsy table. Ever since the day Zim arrived, Dib searched for a chance to expose him and now the opportunity had finally arrived. But he just couldn't do it. Dib removed the memory chip and looked at it for a second before snapping it in half and stuffing the remains into his pocket.

"No, I'm not."

Zim glanced at the camera and back at his enemy.

"Why?" Was all he could say.

"Because if you are in the hands of the scientists, it would be really boring for me. I wouldn't have a purpose anymore. As long as you're around, I have a reason. And that's to make sure you never succeed!" He shoved Zim playfully before taking off running.

"Ha! I shall succeed, human!" Zim yelled.

Perhaps you aren't so evil after all, they both thought at the same time. He chased Dib all the way to his base, their laughter bouncing off the homes that lined the street.

A/N

Lol I had a lot of fun writing this one. I hope you liked it as much as I did. Let me know what you thought and also let me know if you have any recommendations on future Zadf fics. I would be happy to write them for you ^-^