DISCLAIMER: I do not own Persona 3 Portable or AnoHana or any of the lyrics of some songs or the lines from Pablo Neruda's poem.
Author's Note: I know I clearly said that I'd write a sequel for my fic 'A Twist in my Story' but when I was in the middle of writing this I've changed my mind. THIS IS A POST-GAME SEQUEL, 1O YEARS AFTER THE GAME'S ENDING OF MARCH 5TH. I realized that I will have more opportunities to write new scenes and recreate different flashbacks without Twist's plot constraints getting in the way.
Official track for this would be: Secret Base ~Kimi ga Kureta Mono~ (AnoHana OST; the anime which inspired me to write this.)
READ THIS: Guidelines for the better understanding of character dialogues.
Lyrics to songs and poem lines.
"Normal Speech and when Minako is talking to Akihiko with no one around."
Internal thoughts of the character with the POV.
["Minako's speech that only Akihiko can hear."]
{"Minako's ghostly voice."}
Flashbacks will be written in full italics.
? - Question marks indicate indefinite time or simply the exact date isn't given.
Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This
Chapter 1: Chasing Dead Girls
Even if it's not found
Something precious still exists
I made my way
To the nights when I simply hugged you
?
Akihiko takes out a book from one of the pile on his desk, he leafs through it. Turns a couple of pages harshly then closes it. He puts the book back and takes out a different one. He repeats the process.
Minako approaches him and kneels down to get a better look on the cover and tilts her head.
"The Picture of Dorian Gray. I didn't know you can read upside down Aki."
"No. I can't."
He stares at her, long enough to notice the way she's clumsily leaning her elbows on his legs and the way how a part of her cleavage shows. Akihiko closes the book shut and puts it back on the make-shift shelf on the study table. He stands up and curses himself. Without a word or a glance offered to her he walks out of his room.
"Akiiii…"
She whines and follows him.
?
Shinjiro comes home late at night from his part-time job where he got stuck for an overtime shift. He wonders if Akihiko has had dinner yet when he realizes that he's being overtly motherly to his best friend. He needs it though, and he's sure she would have likely agreed.
He walks down the dimly lit hall of the apartment complex he and Akihiko's staying at, his footsteps not making any sound. A skill he has acquired from those days. Shinjiro shifts his gaze idly forward then to the floor, carefully watching each step.
{"Senpai…"}
His head whips around, searching, making sense of his surroundings. No one's there. He looks at the end of the hallway and it appears like tunnel vision. His chest constricts, aches, and he finds it hard to breath. He feels an oncoming sensation of vertigo.
There it is again, like a drop of water falling into a hollow surface it echoes then surprisingly create ripples.
{"Shinjiro-senpai…"}
He recognizes the voice so well.
?
They don't talk about what Koromaru sometimes does, because it's weird and it's not something two grown mature men talk about. Sometimes the dog barks happily in one direction of the living room, its tail wagging, excited. Sometimes he lays on his back on the carpeted floor (something he only does for Minako) but when one of them arrives he rolls over and sits up, attentive. Sometimes he makes whimpering appreciative sounds alone, like the one he does when Shinjiro rubs his neck or Akihiko scratches his ears but most likely the way when Minako strokes his fur.
It seems funny to watch sometimes like he's got an imaginary friend and they try to laugh it off that the dog's growing old. Both of them know it's more appropriate to say that Koromaru's guarding a secret.
Time waits for no one.
March 5, 2010 / Gekkoukan High
"Starting now, we'll never be apart."
…...
…...
"I don't sense any—"
"Oi…wake up. You—"
"Minako…"
…
…
The air stills — dead — and a great silence settles, blankets, the whole rooftop. No. It is as if the whole world halts, stops for a second, like it's waiting for something. And then it comes back up; stirring, alive once again. Like the cogs turning themselves to serve its purpose.
Except she doesn't.
The perfect blue sky is ruined. Gray ominous clouds gather above their heads, shrouding them in a coat of dreariness. The cacophony of noises down below is a dull buzz in the background.
The silence stays and the air is – dead, it's still dead. Stifling.
Mitsuru dials on her phone, fingers unfocused and hurried. Her voice is hard and controlled yet desperate. "Get me an ambulance. Quickly!"
It rains, but the earth remains dry.
?
He isn't particularly sure when it first happened.
But at midnights, most certainly during the time when the Dark Hour would have struck back then, the music box he gave her resounds on its own in the silence of his room.
During those minutes of coldness he momentarily stirs and listens until it stops.
He waits.
He waits for something. He isn't sure what.
?
Akihiko comes home with a bloody lip, swelling cheek, and a busted eye. Thankfully, Shinjiro doesn't reproach him about it. His best friend terribly used to him in arriving at their apartment like a stupid mess. Shinjiro merely shakes his head and grumbles an 'idiot' under his breath. It's good to have Shinji around, better than Mitsuru who would berate him in his newly favored uncouth ways ─ or worse if it's…her, then he wouldn't know what to say or how to explain himself. Although, if she's here then he wouldn't be like this for sure.
Akihiko throws himself on his bed, burrowing his face in it, which he learns is a mistake as the wounds on his face stings. He shifts it sideways, putting his not swelling cheek against the covers. Akihiko closes his eyes and tries not to remember of a time when his bed smelled like daisies and sunflowers. He clenches his fist that the peeling skin on his fingers stretches enough to give himself a distraction. But it doesn't work that way. He can't cry anymore, he doesn't have tears left to shed and he's so tired of missing her and so tired of looking for a purpose anymore. He has nothing left to regret and wish because he has overused it. He wants to say he hasn't forgotten yet moved on but he can't because he's never going to forget and he can't move on. How can he possibly move on when his future is gone?
A luscious scent hovers on him and it makes his nerves calm and his thoughts silent. He tastes something sweet in his lips, reminiscent of honey and strawberries and jams. He feels light, almost floating.
["Aki…please stop hurting yourself."]
He drifts into unconsciousness with her fragmented voice as his lullaby.
And for the first time in a long while he is able to sleep well and dream of her without the nightmares.
?
["Aki…"]
["Aki…"]
["Nee, do you…"]
It starts with a vision of her lying beside him on his bed.
And it doesn't end. Even when he wakes up.
No, not yet.
'She's here', he thought. She's here. It replays on his mind over and over.
She's here.
So why is it that they say she's dead.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.
On six in the morning of March 1st 2020, Akihiko's longest spring begins.
His alarm clock rings piercingly, shattering the delusion of a serene morning. He turns it off austerely, slamming it face down so unlike the manner he normally does way before when. Akihiko turns to lay on his back ── tries to lay on his back that is, for a weight on his arm and his chest prevents him to do so, a sharp inhale and a caressing hand traveling down his side shifts his focus towards the piece in an unspeakably beautiful puzzle that he hadn't noticed to be beside him until now. A web of its arms and legs tangled with his own.
Akihiko soaks up the image that he hasn't seen for a while (long since that day) with all consuming fascination as he stayed still as a stone, too afraid to disturb the peacefulness that settled in his bed.
He closes his eyes and swallows the threatening turmoil down his throat. He wills himself to concentrate but her fragrance hovering over him makes it hard to control his sanity. He wonders if he is half-asleep or half-awake, if he is still dreaming or if this is the true reality, that the fact that she's dead and gone was just a very long nightmare of his.
When Akihiko opens his eyes he is greeted by the shining red orbs he missed so much. Minako stares drowsily at him and smiles.
"Ohayou Aki"
His heart thuds wildly in his chest.
Trauma? Coping mechanism? Craziness? What do they call this?
It's like when she was still alive.
He doesn't just hear her voice.
He doesn't just smell faint traces of her scent.
He doesn't just catch glimpses of her anymore.
He sees her, truly sees her.
And most importantly he could touch her.
And it rings on his head again. She's here. With him.
But it couldn't be. The Minako in front of him isn't her. Minako is dead. Gone. He saw it himself as her skin and bones were incinerated in that metal box. He saw how when she came out, the person whom he loved (still loves) was no more but ashes, all but dust. This girl in front of him with Minako's smile is a hallucination and temptation created by his unhealthy twisted mind and his yearning heart.
The illusion Minako frowns as Akihiko lifts himself up from the bed and unwraps her off of him like a blanket. He goes on his normal morning routine, brushing his teeth and changing his clothes unaffected like seeing a live version of her nowadays is something usual. Minako, as if she's not someone who rose from the dead, stomps angrily from being completely ignored.
"Aki!"
It wasn't until she runs crashing against his back that he falters.
Minako mumbles against the fabric of his shirt. "Aki, are you mad?"
Akihiko looks at his lone reflection in the mirror.
I am mad.
In an entirely different way.
Akihiko goes off his room with Minako trailing behind him hooked on his waist and whining his name. When he reaches the kitchen he sees Shinji typically making breakfast, miso soup, fish, boiled vegetables, and rice. Minako lets go of him and rushes to Shinji with her eyes sparkling and a somber smile, then she goes to the table, gushing on the food Shinji prepared while he watches. Shinjiro isn't reacting oddly and saying anything so he concludes that it's probably just him. Akihiko sighs deeply and deposits himself in his customary seat. Minako mimics him and because Shinji's back is on them he doesn't notice the way the other chair move on its own. When Shinji sits on his chair Minako is in between them smiling gleefully at the sight of the two of them. Akihiko glances from her to Shinji and from Shinji to her. This doesn't escape his best friend.
"What?" Shinjiro asks gruffly, with a raised brow.
Akihiko swallows and starts to pick on his food. "Nothing."
Shinjiro grunts and begins to eat as well. From the corner of his eye Akihiko watches her as she pouts and frowns at Shinjiro. Minako tilts her head the way she always does and bats her lashes (a cute habit that allows her to get what she wants).
["Where's my breakfast, Senpai? You didn't make me any?"] She whines.
Shinji hates whining.
Akihiko looks at Minako through his lashes while he keeps his head down as he eats; she's keeping her posture and stares at Shinji longer than he knew how she could keep still. It's different. Something's different, with her. And then he realizes that Shinji's not budging or doing or saying anything nor does he acknowledge her. It's as if Shinji doesn't see her nor does he hear her. It makes Akihiko convinced that maybe it's really just him.
When Minako finally realizes that Shinjiro doesn't, couldn't, take notice of her she scoots close to Akihiko and whine on him instead.
["Shinjro-senpai is ignoring me!"]
He bites his tongue to prevent himself from answering her. He doesn't want to start talking to himself in front of Shinji because he's sure that it'll take just one call to Mitsuru to send him to a shrink. It annoys Minako so she starts shaking his arm. Shinji stares at him and Akihiko is quick to cover her hand with his own on his arm to stop the shaking.
"My arm hurts." He lamely says and moves it a bit to make it look less awkward.
"It wouldn't if you weren't getting yourself in stupid fights."
["Yeah, he's right!"]
"Shut up." Akihiko says instinctively, he doesn't even know to whom it's directed to. Shinjiro glares at him while Minako looks hurt. She hangs her head.
"It's just…" Akihiko starts; he thinks he should at least try. "Minako, she's…she's he—"
"What about her? You're still talking about that?" Shinjiro cuts him off, his voice edged with anger.
"No, I mean…"
"Going home late covered in bruises and blurting out Minako Arisato's name, is there something wrong with your head? Get over it Aki."
Akihiko bites his tongue to avoid lashing out at Shinjiro, after all he is right. There is something wrong with him. Creating a ghost of someone they loved dearly in the past. He should have snapped out of it a long time ago. How many years has it been?
They eat in silence, once again. It's a routine. These days he and Shinji never have the chance to have a real friendly conversation anymore. They're civil, yes, and casual. They talk of course, only limited. It isn't as if they're not friends any longer but it's just that something in between them feels so…strained. Not ever since Minako…
Akihiko knows they both take it as having different ways of coping with it.
Shinjiro finishes his meal and spares him a look. He collects his dishes and stands up, brings them to the sink and washes them. Akihiko is expected to do the same with his own dishes; it's a house rule they made during non-off days.
Minako still doesn't budge from her position.
Shinjiro takes off the white apron he half-wore over his clean clothes and hangs it. Then he picks up the brown duffel-bag he placed on the chair he had sat on.
"I'm going now." Shinjiro says, half-glaring at Akihiko.
"Ah…" Akihiko replies. He doesn't meet Shinji's gaze, instead he focuses on that spot in between his best friend's eyes.
Minako suddenly whirs back into motion. Her head snaps up to look at Shinjiro. Her eyes wide and her mouth agape, a forlorn expression painted on her face.
["You're leaving? Already?] She asks Shinjiro, but of course he doesn't reply. Akihiko doesn't expect him to start to. Minako glances back at him. He merely shrugs, which Shinjiro takes as a sign of dismissal or not. Either way Shinji has to leave. Food isn't going to cook itself at that restaurant he's working at.
Shinjiro goes wordlessly with Minako's stare glued on him and this doesn't escape Akihiko. It's full of longing. He sighs.
"He's just going to work."
Minako breaks her stare at the void of space that Shinji has left and turns to him. She thinks for a second before it dawns on her.
"Oh…right." She chuckles and then smiles at him. He has never seen anything – no – a smile so painful.
Even before, she had always been smiling despite being so sad.
"So, why are you here?" He asks, worried, concerned, frightened, happy; he isn't sure what he is supposed to feel at the moment.
Minako puts her index finger on her cheek and tilts her head. She looks upwards; a pose she does when she's thinking. (He remembers, it's exactly the way it was before.)
"I don't know." She says it with a very straight face that he feels a bit irritated. Akihiko shakes his head.
They're on the living room. She's cross-legged on the couch while he sits beside her, legs splayed across the floor and arms outstretched on the headrest.
She starts to look around. "Where's Koro-chan?"
He is surprised she knows the dog stays with them or maybe he has misinterpreted her question that she is merely asking where the dog is. However, from the way she cranes her neck to search makes his first assumption correct.
"He's at the veterinarian. He got sick two days ago."
She looks at him suspiciously. "You two aren't taking care of him well."
"O-of course not. I mean, Shinji and I make sure he's all good."
Minako pouts and then nods. "I know. He told me."
"Who did?" Shinji? But he doesn't see her! Of course, he doesn't. She's my hallucination.
"Koro-chan." She smiles, sincerely, and he knows it's not a joke.
Akihiko massages his temples. He can't believe it. His delusion Minako can talk dog-speech or whatever it is. He wonders if maybe he really needs to see a doctor. He's probably been stressed from all those difficult cases they've handled. Stress, yeah, he'll probably go with that for a while.
My stress. My cruel beast.
Minako smiles at him expectantly while he stares and really looks at her this time. She is still the same as before, forever seventeen, young and vibrant and fresh. She wears a light-orange summer dress filled with flowers that he thinks he has seen before; spaghetti straps on the shoulders and hem that ends just above her knees. She wears her hair down with the pins a little askew. He frowns when he notices she's on barefoot.
He is about to reprimand her about it when he remembers that no, it doesn't matter, she's just a hallucination and he has to make her go away. Not the other way around. As if he would keep her. As if he would believe that this is really Minako who came back just for him.
His throat is so dry, starchy.
"You shouldn't be here." He says, and he shudders with the coldness of his own voice.
"Aki…" She says his name with that voice. The one that makes his knees go weak and his lower abdomen coil. He almost wavers.
"You've seen it, hadn't you? Shinji and I, we're different. Heck, everyone's changed!"
"I…"
"Hey, my stress, give me a break already. When I'm with you, I remember… I remember things I don't want to. It makes me angry."
He hears her inhale sharply.
"Go." Empty. Forceful. Furious.
Minako looks down at her lap, saddened. She fists her hands on her dress.
When she speaks her voice is weak and small. It isn't like her. "But…where will I go?"
He doesn't answer, doesn't look at her.
Nonetheless she leaves.
He should feel accomplished, but why does he feel like crying?
The sun had set a few hours ago and darkness has seeped in through the windows, clothing their dull apartment with the moon's soft glow. From the moments in between she had left and now, Akihiko has gotten himself sprawled on the floor with his mind floating on non-existent clouds.
He heard his phone go off several times that day but he didn't have the energy in him to answer it, to go to work, to talk to his colleagues, to solve clues, to punish the wicked, to pretend everything is fine when in all honesty he is a total wreck at the moment. No, maybe even then he's been a walking dilemma and he has just noticed it now with her reappearance.
But why did she have to come back? Why me?
Maybe because it's his relationship with her or maybe because he has wished it himself and he just refuses to admit it. The ache in his heart when he saw her again, it wasn't only pain. There was also relief and joy.
Back then he isn't like this. Back then even though they were struggling to live and fight, everything was perfect because she was there. Akihiko closes his eyes and he sees her sad smile.
That smile that tore at my heart.
He is reminded of the blue sky, of that final moment, of that distant day where he made a promise that will never be fulfilled.
The tomorrows that never came. The promise and the future that died along with her. And then all of us who fought to save the world…just drifted apart.
…my left hand is always searching for you
That's how I'm holding the spring wind with my clasped hands
Time still belongs to us, and I'd like you to not say:
'Someday, we'll forget about today'
Akihiko springs up and runs out the door. He doesn't take the elevator, no, not now, not today. He sprints, runs like a mad man chased by predators. But he isn't running away, no, he isn't going to run away anymore. He is going to face it head on. Face her. Accept her. Embrace her, like he has always wanted to do the moment he saw her. Despite the feeling of his lungs threatening to give up on him, he still runs. His mind tries to come up with places she could have gone.
I've always wanted…I've always, always, wanted for the tomorrow after that day. The tomorrow when I could apologize to her properly to arrive.
And suddenly it's like he is back to that day, racing towards the rooftop to see her. But this time it's not the rooftop where he is running to. He is running towards the place he knows she would think she belongs.
My stress.
My trauma.
The only person I…
He does find her there, crouching on the footsteps of the dorm they all used to live in. She doesn't see him right away for her head is buried on her arms. Minako lifts her head slowly as she hears him approaching. He notices the tears welling in her eyes once he's standing in front of her. Akihiko grabs her shoulders and pulls her to stand. He doesn't waste any time that once she's upright he immediately enfolds her in a tight hug. She reciprocates the gesture albeit hesitantly by wrapping her arms around his waist.
She feels so thin, so small, so fragile that he fears if he grips her tighter she'll break. He pulls back a little to look at her face and wipes her tears with his thumb.
She finally smiles up to him, the warm happy sunshine smile that always manages to tug at his heart and make it soar.
"Let's go home." He smiles back at her.
The time that stopped on that day has started moving again.
I'm glad I made it in time, the city went to sleep, deciding to pretend to not know
Let's to go the place where I laid the bricks that I'm forgetting about
A/N: Lately I've realized that I've been writing in a light novel form, so...messy. I think.
Just to make it clear the first scene isn't a flashback. It's one of the "delusional" moments of Akihiko (according to him.)
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