Hawke's life during her years in Lothering and Kirkwall. Rated M for language and content.

F!Hawke/Fenris/Anders/Sebastian/Jethann/Alistair/Cullen/Zevran/Nathaniel. Hawke/OC in the first chapters. Who is going to claim her heart in the end? I don't know yet. What I know is that this Hawke won't settle until she tries them all.

My infinite gratitude to Hatsepsut who gave me relevant plot advices and offered to beta this for me. If this story doesn't suck it's thanks to her. Also, thanks to Cruellae for helping me improve my style and word flow.

Bioware owns all.


I've just seen a face,
I can't forget the time or place
Where we just met.
She's just the girl for me
And I want all the world to see we've met

(Lennon/McCartney)

Chapter 1 – I've Just Seen a Face

Hawke stepped outside her family's home in Lothering, walking gingerly so as not to muddy her best pair of shoes. She was wearing a simple red silk dress her mother had sewed her. It was a nice change from the leather armor she had been wearing every day in the past couple of years.

She stood there alone glancing Old Barlin's property. Today his only son Arthur would arrive from Denerim where he had spent the last two and a half years learning to be a blacksmith from Wade, Denerim's best smith.


Arthur and Hawke were the same age. They had met when they were eleven and Hawke's family had just moved to Lothering. Arthur's mom had died a month before in childbirth, along with her baby. Barlin was still felling as lost as he had felt the night she had passed away. The old man didn't know how to deal with his own grief, let alone have a clue about how to help his child cope with his mother's unexpected death.

Without anyone to talk to, the boy would spend every morning in the village's cemetery by the Chantry, caressing the dirt and the flowers over his mother's grave. In the afternoon he would go to his room and stay there. Sometimes he wouldn't leave even for dinner and his father would just let him be.


Hawke had noticed Arthur since her first day in Lothering and thought it curious that a kid her age would spend all morning in a cemetery — she sure wouldn't like that. One day she decided to skip her early lessons at the Chantry and went after him.

"Hi. Whose grave is this?" she asked bluntly, her voice tactlessly cheerful.

He did not answer, or even move. Hawke sat down beside him and stayed quiet, just observing him. After some time, she got bored and started to organize the flowers over the grave, removing the dry and dead ones and ripping off some stray weed that had grown there. She left Arthur alone for a moment, and then returned with a dozen daisies in her hands, stolen from a house nearby. She tied them together delicately with the red ribbon from her ponytail and laid them on the grave.

"There," she said, a small proud smile on her face for having cleaned up the grave and arranged the flowers.

He finally looked at her. "Uh… thanks."

"What's your name? I'm Marian." She reached out her hand to help him up.

He met her deep dark brown eyes and took the hand she had offered. "I'm Arthur."

From that day on, they would do everything together; from the lessons in the Chantry first thing in the morning, to pulling pranks on Carver; from helping Barlin with the farm, to helping Bethany secretly practice her magical skills. The latter was one of the things they enjoyed the most. It never ceased to be fun trying to find new objects for the young mage to either set on fire or freeze.


At the age of sixteen, Marian and Arthur found out a new favorite activity for them to do together: secret rogue-training sessions with a loony red-haired Chantry sister. Her name was Leliana and she had just recently arrived in Lothering.

Hawke noticed that there was more about the young sister than she was letting show as soon as the woman had arrived in the village. The surreptitious way she moved around town, lurking around in odd places like the inn and the tavern, always carrying a dagger; it was all very unusual for a sister. And, she was often humming songs that Hawke didn't recognize. They were not the songs that were sung during service at the Chantry.

One morning, Hawke snuck out of the service early and found Leliana in the Chantry's library. When the sister heard someone was coming, she stuffed something into a bag and pretended to be absent-mindedly ruffling through a thick volume.

"The Adventures of the Black Fox? I thought sisters only read books on Andraste and the History of the Chantry." Hawke was certain this woman wasn't merely a devout sister.

"Well, mostly yes. But I like tales of great adventures, valorous heroes and captivating romances," Leliana said, smiling.

"Your accent, where is it from?"

"The same place as me, Orlais," she chuckled.

"I've never met anyone from Orlais before. I hear it's beautiful up there in spite of its peo– uh… Do you have any Orlesian tales to share?"

"Sure I do. I love stories far too much to keep them for myself. Have you heard about Aveline, The Knight of Orlais? It's a beautiful tale. I think you will like it," Leliana said.

Hawke listened attentively. Leliana's sweet voice sometimes sounded like she was singing rather than speaking.

"… blinded by his rage, he forced Aveline to her knees. 'Know your place, woman!' cried he, and slit her throat," Leliana finished her telling of the tale.

"I was hoping for a happy ending," Hawke said.

Leliana then added that Aveline was knighted and honored after her death by the king's son. It wasn't the happiest of endings but it satisfied Hawke somewhat.

"If you don't mind me saying so, you don't seem like you belong in a cloister. You carry a dagger, tell tales like a bard and there's a piece of armor coming out of your bag there."

"Oh? Well, you'd make a fine spy, wouldn't you?" Leliana retorted and by her tone of voice Hawke could tell she had upset the sister.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude," Hawke lied, trying to look innocent. "If you're a… hm, rogue? Maybe you could… teach me? There's not much to do around here, you know…"

"I'm not sure it's a go-" she was interrupted by Hawke playing her puppy eyes card. "Ok, but you can't tell anyone what we are up to. Find a place where we can practice in private," Leliana whispered.

"Great! And, please, can I see your armor?" said Hawke, lowering her voice.

"I'll show it to you later. It's called Battledress of the Provocateur and I went through a lot of trouble to get my hands on all of its pieces."

"Ok, later then. I'll find a place for our lessons. And, ah, can I bring someone?"

"No!" Leliana squeaked.

"Please, he won't tell anyone. Pleeease!" Hawke begged.

"Uh, hmm, fine! Don't make me regret this," the rogue agreed and Hawke left the Chantry beaming and clapping her hands in excitement, heading straight to Arthur's.


The sister really thought it was best that the Revered Mother or the dandy religious folk in the Chantry didn't know she used to be a bard and a spy. That was why she had insisted in keeping their training sessions secret. Leliana didn't want to have to tell them her real story, the things she had done, the people she had deceived and killed. Not that she regretted doing any of it. The fact that she had so easily agreed to teach two youngsters to be rogues made it clear how she missed her old life. She really didn't belong in the cloister.


"I met this sister, Leliana is her name. She's from Orlais and she's also a bard. She knows the most amazing stories and most importantly she's going to teach us how to fight. You know, daggers, bow and arrow, all the stuff rogues do. Maybe some poison-making… Do you think she would teach us that? I think she would. Oh, but you can't tell anyone, you see? I promised her that. I think she doesn't want the Revered Mother to know she used to play dirty, you know, being a rogue and all," Hawke babbled, so excited she couldn't stop talking.

Arthur laughed. Marian's excitement was intoxicating. He could do nothing but agree. "Well, Marian, I guess you have it all figured out, don't you? So when do we start?"

"Actually, I still have to find an isolated place where she can meet us without anyone noticing."

"I know just the place." Arthur took her hand and guided her to the village southern outskirts where some small hills and thick trees would certainly shield them from view. "What do you think?"

"It's perfect. Let's go tell Leliana."


In the years that followed, Hawke and Arthur learned how to pick locks, disarm traps, use a bow and a crossbow, make poisons, steal, ambush enemies and fight with swords, daggers and knives. Long after the sister would retire to her chambers they'd continue dueling each other. Their duels were always fierce as none had the upper hand. While he was stronger, she was quicker and they never went easy on each other. Practicing with the blades turned out to be their favorite activity.