Title: A Happy Christmas?
Rating: 15
Summary: After a blazing row Randy is suddenly uncertain about what the holidays hold for him.
Featuring: Randy/Evan, John, Mike
Warning: Angst, tension
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters/people of WWE. No copyright or trademark infringement is intended and no money is being made.
Notes: A little xmas gift for the most amazing dreamscarred - hope you like it hun x. As always this is unbeta'd so any mistakes you find, please, please, please forgive (I mean it PLEASE!).
x o x o x o x o x o x o x
"But..." Randy's voice caught in his throat. Taking a deep breath he bit the inside of his lip wincing as it stung then forcing himself to sound unmoved he growled, "When do you think you'll get back?"
"No idea," replied Evan, his voice sounding far more distant that Randy liked, "The local airport said there would be no flights for at least 4 days. But even if I managed to get to a main airport all the scheduled flights are fully booked I..." he gave a little sigh offering, "I'll try and get back but I really can't see how I can ..." it was his turn to fade into silence, his soft sigh saying more than a thousand words could.
As the silence stretched on Randy felt a darkness building up in him. A darkness he hadn't felt for a very long time, not since he'd started dating Evan properly.
As if sensing the impending slide Evan offered quickly, "We could always celebrate Christmas later you know..."
"Not the same!" snapped Randy sounding childishly petulant as he slumped against the doorframe. Wrapping his free arm around himself he added gruffly, "You've been gone for ages..."
"I know," murmured Evan, sounding wearier than Randy had ever heard the normally upbeat man had ever heard before, "I know and I'm sorry. I really am, it's just well with me off with my injury it seemed the perfect time to go see Mike and well..." he paused again before adding softly, "I'll be back soon.
"Not soon enough," growled Randy his voice dropping dangerously low as he snarled, "You know I'd almost think you didn't want to be with me over the holidays. You seem to be doing everything you can..."
"Don't you dare say that to me!" exclaimed Evan, "How dare you throw that in my face! I came out to my brother – my brother who was injured if you remember. I had extended time off and you agreed it was a good idea for me to go see him so don't' you dare say that I'm avoiding you."
"Don't raise your voice to me," snarled Randy feeling the anger growing within him.
"Then don't growl at me!" snapped Evan, "Jesus you can be such a dick sometimes."
"What the hell did you just say to me?" demanded Randy, his anger going white hot. Closing his eyes he snarled, "Watch what you say Boy or..."
"Don't you DARE call me boy!" yelled Evan, "You know what - I'm kind of glad that airport is closed because right now I don't' want anything to do with you. You have..."
"FINE!" roared Randy, "Stay in the middle of nowhere then with your god damn brother. See if I care!"
Without warning he ended the call, flinging his phone away from him. He watched as it smashed into pieces the moment it hit the opposite wall. Sliding down the wall he ended up slumped at the foot of the door, head bowed, trying hard not to give in to the instinct to just destroy everything around him. He was also trying very hard to ignore the fact he had possibly just thrown away his relationship with Evan over something as stupid as a cancelled flight.
"Okay," drawled an all too familiar voice, "I'm guessing the call didn't go so well then."
Randy didn't reply. He didn't even acknowledge John's presence, going so far as to ignore the large hand that landed on his arm.
"Ortz," soothed John far too used to dealing with the darkest of Randy's moods,
"He's not coming back."
"What?" exclaimed John mis-understanding Randy's comment, "What do you mean he's not coming back? Why not? His injury wasn't bad..."
"I don't mean that!" snapped Randy glowering at the babbling Cena, "I mean for Christmas. He's not coming ho...home..." his voice caught on the word home and for the first time John realised just how much Evan actually meant to his best friend.
"Oh," he murmured slumping down next to Randy. They sat slumped together, sharing a companionable silence that was broken when John suddenly burst out laughing asking, "How many phones is that now?"
"What?"
"That's you've broken," clarified John, indicating to the shattered phone on the far side of the locker room.
"Eight," replied Randy with the ghost of a smile flittering across his lips.
"Well guess I know what I'm getting you for Christmas then." chuckled John. He gave a sigh then getting to his feet with a groan he held his hand out chuckling, "Come on grumpy. We've got a show to do."
Randy glared at him, staring at the hand as if it somehow offended him but when John simply cocked an eyebrow at him and shot him a massive grin Randy reached out allowing his best friend to haul him up. Standing with their hand caught between their bodies John pulled Randy closer for a platonic hug. Nuzzling his face against Randy's, he whispered in Randy's ear, "He'll be back, Ortz. Trust me, he'll move heaven and earth to get back to you."
Randy didn't say anything but John saw the tiniest flicker of hope shining in those despair filled eyes.
x o x o x o x o x o x o x
As Randy got out of his car a few days later he looked sadly at the darkened house he shared with Evan. There was only 1 more sleep until Christmas Eve and as he unlocked the front door and let himself into the empty home he found his breath catching in his throat - suddenly struck by the realisation of just how much he had been longing to come home to the smiling laughing face of his lover. A lover he hadn't seen in over 4 weeks.
Kicking the door shut behind him, he glared at the darkness as if by sheer will alone he could make the house seem less empty. It didn't work. Throwing the bags into the closet he padded down into the lounge and flipped a switch. Instantly the lounge was flooded with soft lighting illuminating what should have been a lovely sight – the housekeeper they engaged had decorated the tree and mantel piece for them making it near perfect Christmas scene for them to come home to. Except to Randy it was meaningless.
Without Evan beside him, without the highflier filling the house with energy and noise and laughter the house meant nothing to him. Laughter. That was what he missed the most about Evan being away. The laughter that always seemed to surround his missing lover. Even in moments of stress and anger Evan still managed to find something to smile about. And Randy missed that.
"What the..."
He jumped swearing as Gizmo suddenly appeared rubbing herself against his legs mewing at him pathetically just asking to picked up and cradled. Bending down he caught her under her front legs and swinging the cat up into his arms he couldn't resist rubbing his face against her fur, hugging her tightly. As she began to purr contentedly in his arms Randy wandered over to his chair.
Sinking down he leant back letting the cat settle on his chest, almost grateful for the company she was providing him. He reached into his pocket and fiddled with the new phone John had bought him. He fingered the phone wondering if he should try calling again. The last three times his call had gone straight to answer phone and all of his texts had gone unanswered. Not that he was surprised.
While Evan might be one of the most relaxed and easy going people he knew, the highflier also had a stubborn streak as large if not larger than Randy's. And he knew too that once Evan lost his temper he stayed mad with that person for a very very long time. Closing his eyes he sighed and absently pulling Gizmo closer he nuzzled his face against her soft fur murmuring, "Guess it's just you and me." he absently stroked her head trying desperately not to recall how soft Evan's hair always felt whenever he stroked him. He gave a low almost painful sigh and tightening his grip around the cat he growled angrily, "I'm a fucking idiot."
Gizmo just purred and gently paffed the side of his face – an action Randy took to mean that the cat agreed with his mumbled statement. He was a complete and utter idiot.
x o x o x o x o x o x o x
Randy came awake with a start. At first he didn't know where he was but then as the all too familiar claws dug into his stomach and thighs he remembered he was home. Blinking groggily he realised what had awaken him. Grabbing his phone he answered it without looking, growling, "Evan where are..."
"It's not Evan, its Mike," there was a hesitation before the younger man clarified, "Evan's brother. I...I'm sorry to call you but I was...is Evan home yet?"
"What do you mean - is Evan home yet?" growled Randy slowly sitting up, pointedly ignoring the disgruntled growl for his lap.
"He hasn't returned any of my calls," explained Mike, "I was just calling to check he got home safely and..."
"There were no flights," snarled Randy, "He said he couldn't get..."
"He decided to drive," interrupted Mike adding angrily, "After you were such a bastard to him he...well he decided to risk driving all the way home."
"But...but that's over 20 hours...through snow and stuff and..." murmured Randy, his stomach sinking at the idea of Evan facing such a long daunting drive all alone. "When did he leave?"
Mike didn't answer at once, making Randy growl the questions again, "Umm yesterday lunchtime," replied the younger man, "Even if he stopped for a rest he should have been home hours ago."
Randy didn't say anything. His throat was too tight with emotions. The idea of Evan alone on the road driving through bad weather, having to contend with tiredness, not to mention the stress the drive would put onto his damaged shoulder, terrified him and sent his imagination into overdrive. Suddenly all sorts of scenarios were running through his head, images of Evan lying injured at the side of the road or the car broken down or worse.
"Randy? You still there?" asked Mike gruffly, "Look when he gets home tell him to call me okay?"
"I'll tell him," growled Randy fighting the urge to scream. He couldn't believe Evan had been stupid enough to risk such a mammoth drive on his own and yet at the same time he knew he was to blame for make the younger man make such a rash decision. As Mike hung up Randy closed his eyes praying softly, "Please let him get home safely. Please."
x o x o x o x o x o x o x
Two hours later and there was still no sight, sound or word from Evan and it was driving Randy crazy. He'd already called and woken John up all the way in Boston. Not that there was a lot the big man could do being at the other end of the country but at least his voice helped calm Randy down and stopped him from getting on his bike and heading out to find Evan. Gizmo – who had grown tired of being jolted awake every time a set of headlights went past - had removed herself to the window seat and was currently glaring at Randy in only the way a disgruntled cat can. Not that Randy cared. He was starting to wear a hole in the carpet.
He was mumbling to himself not really making sense just muttering Evan's name over and over again. He balled his fist fighting hard not to give in and just wreck the place as a vent for his growing concern. Suddenly the hallway was lit up and where the lights normally disappeared after a second these grew stronger and stronger until finally Randy could make out the sound of a car on the gravel drive. Ripping the front door open he leapt down the porch steps and was at the side of the car before Evan had even killed the engine. Yanking the driver's door open Randy demanded, "Where the hell have you been? Why didn't you call? I was going mad with..."
"My phone died," replied Evan not really looking at the agitated Viper, "It died about 2 hours into the journey and I didn't have a charged that worked with the car and..."
"You should have stopped and bought one!" snapped Randy his eyes running over Evan as the smaller man got out of the car. He was absently looking for any injuries or any sign his lover was less than 100%.
Evan regarded Randy for a moment then tilting his head slightly he asked flatly, "Why are you so worked up?"
"Because I was scared!" snarled Randy frowning at the way Evan was looking at him. It was unheard of for them not to hug whenever they were reunited but so far Evan had made no move to even touch Randy let alone hug him.
"Of what?" asked Evan, his voice muffled as he hunted in the trunk for his cases.
Randy didn't reply. He simply reached over and took the cases from his lover. He paused and flicking Evan a strange look the he suddenly turned on his heel and stormed back into the house, leaving Evan trailing in his wake.
As Randy put the cases in the master bedroom Evan leant against the doorframe watching his lover. From the way Randy slammed the cases onto the ledge and the way he all but kicked the laundry hamper out of the way Evan knew something was seriously wrong.
"What's wrong?" asked Evan his voice sounding harsher than he meant it to.
Randy froze then without looking round he rumbled, "Nothing."
Evan gave a disbelieving snort and pushing away from the doorframe he crossed over, all but blocking Randy's exit. Glaring at Randy he snapped, "Don't lie to me. Tell me what's wrong."
Randy glowered at him but almost instantly he melted under the stern chocolate gaze. With his shoulders slumping slightly he growled, "I was scared."
"You already said that," snapped Evan, "What were you scared of?" he asked, his face creasing with a deepening frown.
Randy didn't answer him. He simply glared at him emotions flashing across the fine features leaving the silence to stretch out between them.
"For god sake!" exclaimed Evan finally snapping under the growing pressure of the stifling silence, "Will you just talk to me! What the hell were you scared of?"
Randy bristled at Evan's tone but even as his anger rose he found himself replying gruffly, "That you weren't going to come back," he paused then drawing himself up to his full height he admitted stiffly, "I...I thought you were going to leave me."
"Leave you?" frowned Evan, "Randy why would I leave you?"
"Because I...," Randy's voice broke, the words, the admission catching in his throat. But as Evan glared at him he suddenly realised he would rather have an angry Evan in his life than no Evan at all. With the fight visibly draining out of him, he slumped onto the ledge, stretching his long legs out in front of him, confessing gruffly, "I thought I'd finally pushed you too far." He looked up and locking eyes with Evan murmured, "I thought I'd lost you forever."
x o x o x o x o x o x o x
Randy paused in the entrance to the kitchen. Evan was leaning against the counter waiting for a pan to boil. The compact body was radiating tension and if he was honest it was killing Randy. He ached to wrap his arms around Evan to simply hold him and soothe away the stress. But he didn't. His stupid pride and Evan's stubbornness were a match made in hell and it was killing them both.
"I'm making hot chocolate," called Evan without turning around, "You want some?"
Randy nodded then realising Evan wasn't looking at him, he replied gruffly, "Please."
They settled into an uneasy silence. A silence Randy was desperate to break. Suddenly realising he had a way of breaking the tension, he rumbled," You need to call Mike."
Evan glanced at him quirking an eye brow although his face hardened as Randy clarified, "I mean your Mike..."
"What," interrupt Evan bitterly, "My god-damn brother Mike?"
Randy physically flinched. Swearing under his breath he fished his phone out of his pocket and holding it out he urged, "Please, call him. He was really worried about you."
Evan sighed and shaking his head he dialled the number. Within seconds Mike answered and as Evan endured his brother ranting at him down the phone, he looked over at Randy and him gave a half smile. It was a smile that did more to easy Randy's panic than anything. With a near impish grin Evan suddenly flicked the phone round hitting the speaker function and instantly the kitchen was filled with Mike ranting about Randy.
"...and another thing!" exclaimed Mike not realising what his older brother had done, "You need to tell that good for nothing boyfriend of yours that when I see him next he and I are going to have a long hard talk about the way he bloody treats you! He takes you for granted Evy. He's just using you, you know that, don't you? and..."
Evan lifted a hand to his mouth stifling the giggles that were threatening to explode out of him. The look on Randy's face was simply priceless and as Mike continued to rant about the way Randy treated him Randy slowly looked up and catching Evan's eye he gave a sheepish sigh and mouthed, "He's right."
"I know," replied Evan softly.
His smile morphed into a grin as Randy reached over and took the phone from him. Winking at Evan, Randy pulled the phone up and setting his shoulders into promo mode he gave a low growl, rumbling, "Mike, shut your mouth right now."
The squeak of alarm that sounded on the phone made Evan bite the inside of his mouth.
"You're right," growled Randy not taking his eyes off his amused lover, "I do take Evan for granted but you are wrong when you say I don't appreciate him. I do. More than you know. But he knew when he started going out with me that I am a selfish difficult bastard. It was his choice to take me on and...and I...I.." the words were catching in his throat the emotions he was trying to vocalise not coming as freely as he had hoped.
Sensing his lover's turmoil Evan reached over and easing the phone from Randy's grip. Turning away he took the phone off speaker and lifting the phone to his ear he sighed firmly, "Mike - enough! I'm home safe, okay nothing bad happened, I didn't get crash, I didn't get stuck, so just relax, okay, baby bro? I'll talk to you later. Love you."
Ending the call Evan paused a moment then glancing at Randy he cocked his head asking, "New phone?"
"John gave it to me," explained Randy looking decidedly sheepish.
"Why?" asked Evan frowning as he inspected the gift.
Randy rubbed the back of his neck before confessing softly, "I broke my old phone."
Evan sighed and shaking his head fondly he reprimanded, "You know taking your frustrations out on your phone doesn't solve anything."
"I know," agreed Randy reaching for the phone. As he did he caught Evan's hand, his fingers brushing against Evan's. He felt a jolt of electricity and glancing up he saw the same look reflected in Evan's eyes. Sliding his long fingers up so he was all but caressing Evan's wrist Randy murmured softly, "I was so angry...I...the idea that ...that you choose..." the words hung between them but before Evan could respond Randy suddenly rumbled, "I'm sorry."
The silence that followed was almost deafening.
Evan stared disbelievingly at Randy. His eyes were larger than ever but before he could reply the silence was shattered by a loud bubbling and the milk that he had been boiling suddenly erupted out of the pan. Working quickly they both rescued the milk and mopped up the spillage before it could burn. Grinning at the silliness of the situation Evan looked over and murmured, "You aren't the only who's sorry. I wasn't exactly nice to you and..."
"I deserved being called a dick."
"Yeah you did," agree Evan grinning at Randy, "But I'm still sorry."
Randy gave him a faint smile then nodding at the pan with his head he asked, "You done making the hot chocolate?"
"Yeah, why?" asked Evan stirring in the last few drops.
"Because I was thinking we could..." Randy's voice faded a moment then stepping closer he slid an arm around Evan's waist spooning against the strong back. Brushing a kiss into Evan's hair he finished, "..that we could take it into the lounge, light the fire and ...and just forget the last few days."
He held his breath. Evan was surprisingly tense. Normally when they spooned Evan flowed like melted chocolate against him but now he was ridged, almost unresponsive, and that distance scared Randy beyond belief.
Leaning away from Randy's warmth, Evan picked up the sprinkle jar and dusting the top of the each cup with coco powder he finally leant back letting his back resting properly against the firm chest. For a moment he said nothing then twisting in the embrace he looked up and holding Randy's gaze he murmured, "No."
Randy's face fell.
But before he could ask what Evan meant, the highflyer clarified, "I mean yes to the lounge and the fire but no to the other bit. I don't want to forget the last few days. What happened is important and we need to talk about it – you need to trust me Randy."
"I'm not him," he assured, his hand coming up to touch the side of Randy's face, "I promise I'm not going to run away, I'm not going to cheat and hurt you and do all those things he did to you. But damn it you have to learn to let me make my own decisions, you have to let me have time to myself, to be with my family, to do things that I want to do..." he pressed a finger against Randy's lips stopping the protest before it had begun, "Randy please!" He begged, "Baby, I love you so much but you make it so bloody hard sometimes..."
"What?" breathed Randy staring dumb struck at Evan.
"What, what?" asked Evan frowning not understanding the question.
"What did you say?"
"I said you make it hard to be with..."
"No!" interrupted Randy, "Before that. What did you say?"
Evan frowned then replaying what he'd said in his head he suddenly gave a little gasp. Staring up at Randy he gulped again, the colour draining for his face slightly.
They never said those words. Never. They never said it without there being sex involved and even then when it was murmured during intense moments of intercourse it was rarely heard by the other person. But there, standing in the middle of the kitchen, in the middle of a heated argument he'd said it. Biting his bottom lip Evan dropped his eyes unable to believe he'd broken the unspoken rule that existed between them.
As the silence stretch on both of them waiting for some sort of reaction from the other Randy suddenly realised something. He realised that he didn't care that Evan had said it. He didn't care because he knew it was true – he knew deep in his heart that Evan meant every single syllable of that short, terrifying statement. And for once those three tiny words didn't scare him. They didn't make him want to run for freedom, they didn't make him want to call the affair off. If anything they made him feel the exact opposite. Sliding a finger under Evan's chin he tilted the smaller man's head up. With the softest of smiles curling his lip he slowly bent his head down and as his lips brushed Evan's he breathed, "I love you too."
It wasn't the most passionate kiss they had ever shared but it was one that meant more to either of them than either man would ever admit. Pulling back Evan gazed up at Randy then with a soft grin curling his lips he murmured, "We should drink the chocolate before it goes cold."
Randy nodded and stepping back he gave Evan space to move. As the smaller man moved past him Randy caught his elbow asking, "We're okay, aren't we?"
Evan didn't reply he simply carried on walking leaving Randy alone and confused in the centre of the kitchen.
x o x o x o x o x o x o x
As Evan downed the last of his hot chocolate he looked down and smiled. They were sprawled on the floor in front of a large fire. He had his back against the sofa while Randy was lounging against him, the viper's head resting on his lap, the long body turned in so he was curled around Evan's legs. Gizmo was sitting on the sofa by Evan's head purring in her sleep, her fur brushing against Evans' hair every now and then. Setting the mug down Evan reached down and ran his hand over Randy's newly grown hair. It felt like velvet and he couldn't help the near lustful sigh that escaped his lips. Randy opened one eyes and gazing up at his lover he asked, "You okay?"
"Tired," replied Evan, his voice thick with exhaustion.
"I'm not surprised," rumbled Randy, slowly pushing himself up. Twisting so he could look at Evan properly he added, "You must be exhausted from that drive."
"Nah," soothed Evan indicating for his lover to lie back down, "No the drive was fine it was the...the fight that's worn me out I..." he closed his eyes and murmured, "I hate arguing with you."
Randy nuzzled his face against Evan's stomach, a silent apology for causing the younger man such grief.
Stroking Randy's head Evan asked softly, "Did you really think I was going to leave you?"
Randy nodded, not trusting his voice.
Evan sighed and letting his hand trailed down the side of Randy's face he turned his lover's head towards him murmuring, "Not gonna happen. It'll take more than a viper tantrum and a shattered phone to make me leave you. But even so..." his voice faded into a sad sigh. Without speaking he bent down, using his flexibility to brush his lips over Randy's temple. Tightening his arms around Randy he clung onto him trying to say without the embrace what he couldn't vocalise.
Randy closed his eyes and turning in the embrace he nuzzled his face against Evan's body, drinking in the scent of his lover the scent that had been missing from his life for long. Slowly, as he felt Evan relax the hold, he slithered away from the embrace twisting so he ended up on all fours straddling Evan's legs their faces only centimetres away.
He gave an electrifying smirk and bumping his nose against Evan's he asked seductively, "You done with your drink?"
"Maybe," grinned Evan his eyes locking with Randy's, his hips flexing automatically as Randy forearms brushed the sides of his thighs.
"So if I did this..." chuckled Randy suddenly flipping Evan around.
Evan landed with a soft huff sprawled on the floor under the grinning viper.
"You wouldn't be too mad with me?" finished Randy bending down to brush a kiss over Evan's cheek.
"Nope," chuckled Evan, "But then if you did that to me, I might have to do this..." he suddenly rolled them using a leg sweep to get randy on his back. Straddling his lover's hips Evan pressed his hands to the centre of Randy's chest finishing, "So I guess you wouldn't be too upset with me, either."
"What do you think?" asked Randy rolling his hip and grinding himself up against Evan.
"I'd say," smirked Evan, "That you were a big bad Viper who needs to be taught to trust me and who needs to be reminded just how much you mean to me."
"Then remind me," breathed Randy one hand flaring over Evan's hip, "Please...remind m..." he didn't finish his sentence because at that moment Evan captured his mouth devouring Randy's plea and reclaiming his lover.
Breaking the kiss with a sigh, Evan snuggled down laying his head on Randy's chest, loving the way Randy's legs entwined with his and the way he could feel Randy's stroking his head. They lay wrapped together both relishing the contact they had been missing for so long. After a few minutes Randy shifted and brushing a kiss against Evans hair he rumbled, "About before, what I said about your bro.."
"Shh," soothed Evan nuzzling his face against Randy's chest, "Not now. We'll talk later but for the moment just..." his voice caught slightly then raising his head he looked down at Randy and locking eyes he breathed, "Nothing matters right now. Just you and me. No arguments, no discussions..."
Randy reached up and trailing a finger along the edge of Evan's face he growled, "I missed you..."
"I know, I missed you too" smiled Evan catching Randy's hand, pulling it round he pressed a kiss to the knuckles murmuring, "We do need to talk about what happened but not right now," he smiled fondly down at Randy sighing, "Right now I'd settle for one of those rib crushing viper embraces I've missed so much."
Randy lay gazing up at him reminded once again just how strong – both physically and emotionally – Evan was. Pulling his hand back he spread his arms wide almost imitating his in ring pose and rumbled, "Then come here and let me hold you."
As Evan snuggled back down Randy wrapped his long arms around the compact figure, hugging him tightly, crushing the smaller man against his body. As they lay together, the silence broken only by the fire and Gizmo's snores, Evan shifted his head and pressing a soft kiss to Randy's chin, he murmured, "Hey Randy.."
"What?'"
"Happy Christmas."
Randy didn't reply. He simply tightened his embrace pulling Evan even closer. And as Evan sighed contentedly into the crook of Randy's neck, Randy let himself relax for the first time since Evan had returned. Finally he let himself believe that it might really be a happy Christmas after all.
FIN x
