Disclaimer: This is crack and for a friend, and is nothing like my other fics. Please, don't read unless you're prepared for crack and clichés and self-inserts. Thank you, that is all. M rated for a reason. Like seriously, turn away. Has like, weird shit and like weird lime if you know what I mean.

Tribute to my Bitchcake, Aquadrop! You want me to prove my love for you, then I will by writing and posting this fic. Love you, booboo ;3

.

So Cliché

.

Aqua groaned, tired from her long, strenuous day from her first day of work. It was horrible, really. Someone as great as her did not need to be sexually harassed on the phone by random strangers.

In reality, she was working in the financial aid department for Christ's sake… not a dating line.

Yeah, she did not need this in her life right now.

Aqua decided to stretch her very nice body, exhausted. She was felt hot and bothered, and needed to get cleaned up because she was so moist, drenched from her own juices.

Yes, she was very sweaty – soaked, after getting home.

She just wanted to get on the phone and scroll through the Advancers Forum, because really, she was the biggest possible advanceshipper you could ever find.

She loved Ash and May together.

It made her stomach and other places tingle just thinking about those two talking to each other.

It's was the main thing in her life that made her feel so amazing and full of life.

Talking to her friends on the forum made her giggle cutely, and dance like a valley girl.

She was capable of many things. She could make friends easily, make any stranger laugh at her awkwardness, and bring anyone to tears and motivation with her kind words of encouragement.

She was a symbol of hope for many. She brought many joy and happiness and emanated a bright light. Many of the people around her were brought in it and were instantly in a good mood when they were near her.

She could also handle a big, black pole, very well, that shocked many at her capacity to hold such a beast.

She was sometimes said to be like a sturdy cow, it's fur white and black, ready to take in as many big, long bananas as possible. The more the merrier, she always said.

Just like Ash and May, she had a big appetite. However, what she truly craved, were big, meaty sausages.

Her smile brought a warmth that made one think of the sun.

It was this hope she sprung on many unsuspecting people, this capacity to care for others that inserted her into a different world one night…

The pokemon world.

It's not every day a girl falls from the sky. Aqua didn't understand where she was or how she got this.

However, when she saw her two favorite characters talking to each other, she knew what she had to do.

"I'm going to set these two up," she announced, ready to do another miracle since Ash was dense as fuck.

She walked up to them, and grabbed May and Ash by the collar, pulling them into the bushes.

"What the-"

"Okay, look you two. I'm not here for any bullshit. I want you two together, so like, do this for me, okay?" she said this so demanding, and both Ash and May blushed, their heads tilting to the side. Aqua instantly squealed, loving how similar they were.

"Okay, if I have to lay it out to you. Let me explain why I think you two should get together. You two have incredible fans! I am part of the Advancers forum, and honestly, because of you two, my life has changed significantly for the better. I made so many great friends that I love and inspire me (*cough cough* boothang wubbzy*), and it was all because of you two! You two bring so many people together! Also, I mean, come on, the terracotta ribbon. You both still have it, in your pockets! Also, what happened when you guys were together with Manaphy. If that's not love, I don't know what is. Lastly, both of your personalities just match. When you get married, you'll be able to have feast with like, so much food every night, and it will be perfect."

"You two are seriously my favorite people. Truly. May, you are so beautiful for words. Sometimes, if I wasn't this great, I would aspire to be just like you! You're a princess, and incredibly strong and talented. Like wow, those contest you do always made me cheer when I saw them! And Ash, don't even get me started. I used to have the biggest crush on you when I was a kid, like woah. You were so cute and strong, I used to gush. But I think you two look so great with each other, you're a real power couple!" she confessed.

She took a deep breath, closing her eyes and finally letting all her troubles and desires go. She opened her eyes to see two teenagers, wide eyed and frozen in their place.

"Um, hello?" she asked, waving her hands in their face. They quickly shook out of their stupor, their eyes boring into hers. Her breath hitched, completely blown away by their gazes of adoration.

"Y-you… really think I'm beautiful?" May asked, moving closer to Aqua. She moved close until their faces were merely inches apart.

"You really think I'm strong?" Ash asked, also, moving closer to Aqua, only inches apart.

"No one's every said that about me," May continued, her hand intertwining with Aqua's.

"Uuuuuuh-" Aqua said dumbly, not entirely sure what was going on.

"Yeah, you're so nice. You believe in my dream," Ash said as well, his older self, also, interlocking fingers with her.

Really, Ash never gave anyone this look. He wasn't sure what this was, but this was the first time he actually felt something like this for any girl. He had no idea what to do with this feeling, so he simply followed May, realizing doing these actions made his stomach tingle.

May knew exactly what she was doing, never feeling like a true woman until now. Aqua had a way of making her feel wanted. This gave May such an odd sensation, her chest rising in hopes Aqua would notice, and her legs moving against Aqua's. Her other hand crawled down Aqua's stomach, her fingers beginning to caress the inside of Aqua's thigh.

It was such an odd feeling. It was like Aqua had this effect on people. She made them fall in love with her with her kind words and pretty face and sheer awesomeness.

They were simply the ones of the many that followed, pining for her affections.

There was so much unresolved tension in those hot, steamy bushes, boiling and ready to burst in an explosion of pure ecstasy.

By the time their breaths were hovering against Aqua's neck – May's fingers dancing in places only her husband should ever delve into and Ash's hips rubbing against her own (she wondered, with a sadistically horrified but also a somewhat-kind-of-enjoying-it expression, what was poking at her side?), was when she finally realized exactly what was going on.

She was so awesome, Ash and May fell in love with her, instead of each other…

"Oh shiiiiiiiit."

.

Alternative Ending:

Aqua woke up with her legs spread open and her body very, very wet… she was sooo sweaty. She woke up realizing that it was a very good, exciting dream.

"Damn, I shouldn't pop so many cherries before I go to bed" she said to herself.

.

AN: Fuck you, Momo.