How to fall in love with a madman...Lesson One!
Hoth, 1,5 ABY
"Did I tell you that I hate ice? Because I definitely hate ice..." A shivering Wes Janson groaned, Trying to get some warmth into his limbs by vigorously rubbing his arms and stomping his feet." Ice is only good when it's on a tumbler of Whyren's!"
"Well, no Wes, you hadn't...not since the last five minutes!" Tycho glared at his friend. Having Janson constantly complaining about the cold was not helping his morale either... "You know? It won't get warmer just because you're whining about it!"
"I'm not whining..."
"Of course you're not whining...you're just being extremely noisy about your issues with the extreme cold weather! Totally different! Anyway, weren't Wedge and Hobbie supposed to be back by now?"
Wes checked his chrono and looked across the hangar, searching for signs of their friends. The deck was filled with all kinds of starships, including Han's Falcon and the new T-47's, still being refitted for use in this harsh weather. He was dying to get to fly one of those things! Flying his own X-Wings was something he loved, but being on the gunner's seat was also a welcomed change. After all, his beginning in the Alliance service had been as Piggy's gunner on a Y-Wing! Precision flying and firing lasers was fun as hell, but handling the big guns was something else entirely, and those new cannons being assembled on the snowspeeders seemed awesome!
"They should be here any minute now." Janson told him. "Relax, will ya? It's not like it will be warmer on the Rec Room anyway..."
"Maybe not, but at least I'll be holding a nice mug of hot caf in my freezing hands... that's better than nothing!"
" You mean that paint thinner they try to pass for caf?" Wes squinted at Tycho.
" Like I said...better than nothing..." The Alderaanian closed his eyes, picturing the warmth of the caf, in his mind, and smiling. Anything that could take their minds from the eternal cold in this snow ball of a planet, was welcomed.
Sometimes the temperatures dropped to such extreme negative degrees, that half a squadron could be found huddling in the same space, piling up blankets, trying to fall asleep...not an easy task on quarters with ice walls!
Many nights he and Wes ended up joining the two beds to make enough room for both of them, plus Wedge, Luke and Hobbie! Which was uncomfortable, (Luke snored, and Hobbie moved around quite a lot...) but it was an attempt at not freezing to death on your sleep!
Bonus points? He always slept besides Wes! Always!
There was no better feeling than 'accidentally' sleeping all night with his head leaning on the Taanabian's wide chest! Because, of course, of the many people available that he could have chosen, he had to go and get the hots for the resident Prankster!
"Hey...you guys are waiting for Wedge and Hobbs?" The familiar figure of Luke Skywalker came to greet them.
" Yep!" Wes answered. "But they seem to be running a bit late."
"Oh, they just entered down the south entry. Wedge told me so over his commlink! That's why I came to get you two!" Luke said with a wide smile on his face.
Wes and Tycho subtly smiled each other's direction. Not that they would say anything, but they knew very well that Luke and Wedge were together! They were keeping secrecy about it...chain of command, relationship between CO and XO problems and all that...but Wes had walked in on them once, kissing in the office. He had promptly walked back, before any of them spotted him, and he told only Tycho and Hobbie about it.
Sure he was the kind of guy that any piece of intel he could get his hands on, could become prank material. But he never messed with real private stuff. After all, prankster-King or not, he had his morals...and you don't mess with people's family or love life issues! Simple as that!
The three pilots walked out of the hangar and into a corridor that took them in the direction of the Rec Room.
In an attempt to cover their presence on the planet, almost no real Durasteel structures were built, the preferred method being using the existing ice to carve walls on them, and keeping most of Echo Base underground. It was supposed to be an ancient method of building used by residents of planets encased in eternal ice ages, that helped keeping the warmth inside and the cold out. Tycho was serious doubts about it, but it had been a fast way to give them somewhere to stay, as opposed to be constantly aboard the crammed space of Home One!
The other two pilots, looking frozen from head to toe, were at the door waiting for them. As the three men approached, they exchanged greetings and quickly moved inside. Choosing at table at 0ne of the corners, they ordered the long awaited mugs of caf, swapping stories of the problems they had encountered on their latest watch rounds.
It didn't took long for Wes to start trying is luck with a pretty blond radar officer. He got up and went to the girl's table, engaging in a conversation with her, while the others made bets, on how long it would take for the girl to either slap him, or simply dismiss him altogether!
Tycho, as always, was putting up a brave face and even joining in the betting pool. But deep inside he was feeling the sharp pain of jealousy! Every single time the Taanabian went about his Lady-chasing habits, it felt like a stab to his chest...
Thankfully, due to having a bit of an over-confident poise to him, there were many times Janson completely struck out, and went back to their company pouting. But other times, he actually left with some chick by his arm. On those times, Tycho felt lost...
Of course, he could play the same game! And since he wasn't really picky on going for a woman or a man, as long as there would be a warm body in the dark to make him forget about Wes, he could very easily find someone! The problem was that he had to be actually careful when choosing a lover...after all there were some peculiarities about him that were not to become public knowledge!
"I'm tired of caf...let's order some lum." He said signalling the waiter. "You guys want some too?"
"Why? You payin'?" Wedge asked the Alderaanian, keeping one of his hands discreetly under the table, holding on to Luke's hand.
"No...just ordering..." Tycho went for one of his pockets, digging out some credit chips. "I'm pretty much broke as it is..."
"Next time don't go playing Sabacc with Han. " remarked Hobbie. "Or, if you really want to learn how to play it, don't do it for money!"
"Even Dash over there lost." Luke remembered them, pointing at another Rogue Squadron pilot, sitting on the table across them, engrossed in conversation with Zev and Mison. " And he had actually managed to get a Pure Sabacc! I don't think anyone saw it coming..."
"Well, an Idiot's Array isn't a common thing! Either Solo is really lucky or he's that good at the game!" Wedge offered.
"Or he cheats..."Tycho moaned.
"That's the looser in you complaining, my son!" Hobbie slapped him the back.
"Who are you calling son...Junior? You forget I'm older than you? Than all of you, actually!"
"No you're not." Informed Luke. "Janson over there is older than us!"
"No he's not! His file says he's twenty..." Wedge glanced the Taanabian's way pointing with his head. "I read it! I should know!"
"Yeah, well the copy of the file we got doesn't match his original file from the Tierfon Yellow Aces! So I called him to clear up the inconsistencies. He's actually twenty-three!"
"Sure doesn't look like it...or acts like it!" Tycho chuckled. "Anyway...it's more than 15 minutes now, and he didn't get dismissed or slapped...Luke, Hobbie you're both on the losing end of the bet already! I hope he gets slapped before the next 5 minute, because I sure need the money..."
As per request, they suddenly heard a loud slapping sound and saw a confused Wes trailing their direction, hand rubbing his, now, red cheek!
"Awesome!" Tycho grinned, for more than one reason..."Pay up gentlemen! "
An indignant Wes Janson looked at his friends, shaking his head.
"Do you really have to place bets on my flirting? I hope at least someone betted in my favour! Some friends you are..."
"No one ever bets on your favour, because you mostly crash and burn, and you know it!" Hobbie glared at him. "Besides, your bad luck is all your own doing..."
"Uhn...How so?" The Taanabian asked.
"You're annoying and arrogant! That's how!"
The other pilots nodded in agreement with Hobbie.
"So what did you guys bet?"
"I betted she would pour her drink on you in ten minutes or less." Hobbie told him.
"I betted she would ignore you after just 5 minutes!" Luke informed.
" I betted she would put up with you for twenty minutes and then slap you and leave."
"Thanks wedge!" Wes pouted. "I guess that means you also betted she would slap me, but in under twenty minutes?" He turned to Tycho, grabbing the lum intended for the blond man.
"Yes I did, and that's my lum.."
"Order another for you blondie!"
But Tycho was faster than Wes and managed to salvage his lum from the Taanabian.
"Ok, Ok... I'll get another one...Where's that waiter? Ah, Hell I'll just get it myself! Wait here."
Janson approached the counter, leaning in to order his lum to the Sullustan bartender.
Over his own mug of lum, Tycho was enjoying the view of Wes' rear sticking out like that as he leaned on the counter. The dark-haired surely had a nice round ass! As a matter of a fact, Tycho thought that he had a pretty much perfect anatomy!
Courtesy of common lockers, the Alderaanian had already seen quite a lot of the other man's body. The broad shoulders, the firm body that was muscular enough without being too...exaggerated...the square jaw, the boyish demeanour, the oval brown eyes, the thick dark-brown hair that he kept just long enough for some curls to fall on his forehead and nape...not even the white lines of scars he'd seen on the Taanabian's back took away any of his beauty!
Sometimes Tycho wondered what had happened to Wes, for him to get such scars. From shrapnel to whip lashes, anything could have happened to him...but it would take a braver man than himself to address such matter to Wes!
Then, all of a sudden, Janson's back stiffened, and weirdly enough Tycho felt like a jolt of agitation stirring inside of him. But not like if the feeling was his...more like...if somehow, it had come from Wes and he could feel it in him!
"That's awkward..."
The thought came to him just as Wes turned his head around to look towards him...
The look in his eyes was unmistakable! He knew! He'd somehow sensed Tycho's gaze on him...but...how?
The Taanabian silently moved in Tycho's way, keeping a closed expression. Tycho felt like he wanted the ground to open right there and swallow him whole...
The other pilots, noticing Wes' approach with the kind of expression that made many guys run and hide, looked at Celchu with worried faces.
Standing in front of Tycho, Wes simply signalled the blond pilot to get up and follow him.
" Follow me will ya, blondie? You and I need to have a nice chat..." Wes grunted at the Alderaanian.
"Ah...why?" Tycho asked, clearing his throat with worry.
"You know damn well why! And I think you'll rather have this discussion in private..."
The two men got up and left the bar leaving three concerned men behind them.
Ever since the evacuation from Yavin IV, Wes had stopped treating Tycho badly over his constant suspicion of the latter. They actually had become good friends! And they couldn't quite understand what had happened on these last minutes that could cause for Wes to act like that towards his friend...
Locking their quarters' door, Wes took off his jacket and threw it onto the bed.
"Would you sit down, blondie? You'll wear the duracrete...besides, I'm not going to hit you or anything! I just want to talk to you about that scene at the bar, Ok?"
Tycho obliged the Taanabian Lieutenant, uncertain of how to explain things to Wes. Hell...he felt like he couldn't get the words out of his throat!
Wes was sitting on his bed looking towards a subdued Tycho sitting on his own bed, looking at his feet, refusing to look his way...
"Listen Celchu, if we're going to make this partnership work, we have to trust each other and be honest to each other...I'm not blind, nor stupid!" He pointed towards the blond lieutenant, trying to get his point across. "I don't...I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, but...I'm not like...that...I don't mind if you are, but I'm not..."
Tycho was beyond embarrassed... He'd been completely caught leering at the dark haired pilot...by the latter! And now he was being confronted over it and he had no clue what the best move would be, so he just let the Taanabian get it out of his chest first, while figuring out what to say next. He lifted his gaze and looked right into Wes' eyes. He didn't look mad...that had to be a good sign! Actually he kind of looked...sympathetic...which was a bit surprising, for someone who'd tried to get a piece of him just three weeks ago...
"Come here!" Wes called, tapping the place next to him. "...come...here...I won't bite!"
The initial surprise was replaced by a chuckle. That was more according to Wes' ways. To joke about a serious subject to lighten up the mood. Tycho rose from his place and sat, a bit uncomfortably by Wes' side.
"See? That wasn't so bad! Now, talk."
"What do you want me to say? You spoke your mind, there's nothing more I can say, is there?"
"Sure...I let you off easily and you close up in your shell as always! Come on Celchu..."
" I have a name! It's Tycho!"
"Yeah...Tycho...whatever..."
"It's Tycho Celchu...not Tycho Whatever..."
"Oh, stop that! Don't change the subject...Look me in the eyes and just tell me: Do you or don't you like men and women alike?"
"No."
"What?"
" I don't like men and women alike..."
"Right...That's why I just caught staring at my...rear...and let's not forget the way you choked and blushed when you realized you'd been caught doing it!" "Honest, I don't!-I like men better!" Tycho threw at him, squinting a bit a give him Wes a mischievous grin.
"Ah...as in...?"
" As in...you have a sister, right?"
"Right..." Wes whispered, pretty much guessing where that was going.
"Is she good looking?"
" Yeah..."
"Ok. Picture you and her, side by side and I would have to take a pick! Guess who I would pick?"
"Aah...me?!" This was exactly what he feared. And now he'd have to let The Alderaanian down easily. "See, the problem is...I'm flattered! I reaaaaaally am...but...I can't give you what you seem to want! Neither do I want to lose your friendship over this. Force knows I've already messed this up badly with my temper and my hatred for Imps. Can we just get over this situation and remain friends? Can you do that? Listen, you don't have to worry. I'd never mock you or treat you differently because of your sexual preferences, alright? I've never been an intolerant bigot and I'm not about to start now."
He wanted to put his arm around Tycho's shoulder's in a comforting way, like he would have done to any other of his friends. But he feared the other man would give his simple gesture another kind of meaning, so he just stood there looking at him, trying hardly to convey his thoughts in a kind manner.
Tycho rose from Wes' side, slowly feeling his heart sinking to his feet. What was he expecting? For Wes to miraculously also like men? He'd never been that lucky before, he wasn't about to become now! Nyiestra had been the only girl in his lifetime he'd managed to actually fall in love with. And that had come to be after a painful event in his teenage years, that only she had known about. The physical desire hadn't rose to the levels he'd expected from young love, but the rest had been there. And now she was gone...along with all of his family...and his homeworld. Just when he thought his heart was dead and buried, this Taanabian madman had appeared in his life! At first he made no qualms on his hate for the former Imp Alderaanian pilot. But after Wes had practically slammed him against a wall, with his fist clenched around his throat, they had been forcefully placed on the same quarters and were now wingmates. Wes had apologized profusely and whole heartedly! After getting to know more about the other man's reasons, he started seeing him in another light...and found himself lusting after the dark haired man!
"Tycho?"
"It's Ok, Wes... I just need some time alone."
"I never meant to hurt your feelings. I swear."
"I know" He smiled ever so slightly."I wasn't my intention either to make you feel uncomfortable in my presence. Yes, I like you...No, I'm not going to impose myself on you...It's not my style. Besides, I got your message..."
"So...Are we Ok?"
"We will be, Wes...We will be..." He sighed, with a defeated look on his face. The discussion hadn't been as bad as he'd feared. On the other hand it had served to kill any wild hopes he'd nurtured about Wes...
"Stop looking at me like that, will ya?" Like always when Wes got more nervous, angry or jittery, he'd somewhat slide into hit Taanabian accent. Although it wasn't so frequent these days, and only on some words. "Ya makin' me feel guilty or whatever..."
"Sorry.."
The Taanabian got up and moved towards Tycho, wrapping his hands around the other man's arms and looking straight into his eyes.
"Could you not apologize, please? Did you do anything wrong? No! This is who you are; it's your very nature! Let me tell you again, to see if actually the notion gets into your thick skull, once and for all: I totally accept the fact that you are a bisexual man, with a tendency towards homosexuality. I dot not feel scared nor threatened by it. I will never mock you or try to diminish you for it. And...anyone who ever tries to do so, will have a close encounter with my fists! Got it?"
"Thank you..." Tycho was in awe with the fierce reaction he saw in Wes. He really didn't mind that he was like this!
Although different sexual lifestyles and choices weren't supposed to be such a taboo amongst the Alliance personnel, it was still frowned upon as something unnatural between humans! That was the main reason why people like Wedge and Luke carried their relationships quiet and secret! To have someone like Wes, who had at first struck him as a quite intolerant, accepting his choices without qualms, was a great feeling!
"Besides...I can totally understand why you like me..." Wes Told him with a jesting expression, chuckling to himself. "I mean...look at this!" And he pointed at his whole body and face. "If I may say so myself, I am quite a catch!"
"Wes..." Tycho squinted at him, playfully. Nothing like Janson's good humour to lighten up the mood! "You're the most obnoxious guy I've ever met..."
"And yet you like me! What does that say about yourself?"
"That I should go to MedCenter to get my head examined?"
Wes glared in Tycho's way, pouting and crossing his arms over his chest.
"I was gonna say, that it meant you actually had some good taste in men!"
" Nope...it only means I'm going completely insane! That's what it means sweetie..."
" I just remembered one thing...because of you I didn't get the chance to have my lum!"
"Because of me? Who rushed out of there, dragging me out in the process?"
"Should have drank the lum first..." Wes nodded.
"Yes you should have..."
A crackling sound from Tycho's commlink interrupted the two men. Tycho took the comm from his pocket and pressed the button.
"Celchu here!"
"You guys still alive in there?" The mocking voice of Wedge Antilles came over, though filled with static.
"Yeah...we're all fine, thank you..." Wes leaned forward to speak into the the comm.
"You gonna tell what that was all about?"
"Nope!"
"No chance..." Both men answered at the same time, looking at each other and grinning! That conversation was going to be kept strictly between both of them. Not that they didn't trust Wedge..or Hobbie and Luke for that matter!... but it would best kept private.
"Alright then...Anyway, both of you get your asses in the Squad Room. Commander Narra has a brand new mission for us! It seems we're gonna extract some Imp Officer on an Outer Rim system."
"Awesome..."Wes groaned. "More Imps...ah...present company excluded..."
"You can be such an asshole sometimes Wes..." Tycho glared at him. It was always the same routine whenever a new defector from the Empire was stationed on their Rebel cell; Wes would growl and complain for a while, until the poor bastard would have either proven his loyalty...or proven Wes to be right! Which had happened happen a couple of times already!
"Get moving boys!" Wedge ordered them, cutting off the communications.
"Well, you heard him, Tych let's get moving! We've got ourselves an assignment! Maybe we'll get to blow off some eyeballs, or maybe even some squints!"
"That passion for blowing up stuff, can't be healthy..."
"Sure it is! It keeps me focused, and it gets us rid us of many Imp Jockeys, so don't complain!"
Tycho laughed at him, and back-slapped him.
"Nothing like a good furball to get your spirits high, uh Wes?"
"You got that right!" He agreed rubbing his hands with a feline look in his eyes.
It seemed like a huge weight had just been lifted off Tycho's shoulders!
Coming clean to Wes had been the right move, all things considered. And even with his usual tight lipped ways, Wes had just shown a bit more of his personality.
He was so different from the Wes Janson he had met on those first days on Yavin IV...He could be a right down dangerous man when he wanted, and he needed to be. But Wes was proving himself a lot more understanding and sensitive that what Tycho had given him credit for!
But there was something else...there were occasions when Tycho had noticed Wes distancing himself from them; like he was lost in his memories...and that was when that flash of pain would appear in the Taanabian's eyes. There was definitely something very dark haunting Wes' mind! But he was not going to pressure him into telling what that something was. He could just stand there, at arm's length and be close if Wes ever needed someone to open up too!
Someone once said that loving was knowing when to let go. But loving could also be just standing patiently in the sidelines, lovingly looking after the other one without interfering, without pressuring, without demanding...
Because, even though now he was certain that he could never have Wes, he was also painfully certain that his feelings for the Taanabian were not merely physical. It wasn't a simple crush. Not just lust...
He loved him!
He was completely and hopelessly in love with Wes Janson...
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