Chapter One
As soon as the door opened, I took hold of her, claiming her, needing her, my whole body insisting on having every part of her. My hands were on her immediately. The feel of having her so close, pressing her body to mine was exhilarating. I pushed her back inside of her hotel room as she pulled me in, closing the door securely behind us. My fingertips drew slow lines over the bare skin of her shoulders and arms, reaching her hands, pinning them at her back. My head dipped low, finally ready to press my mouth to hers. There was something different to this kiss. There was a shift in its heat. I didn't get that same electric pull I felt from Rose.
Roza.
I barely stopped myself from saying her name out loud, remembering that this was not Rose I was with. It was Tasha I held in my arms. It was Tasha's body I touched, undressed, and carried to her bed. Our clothes were quickly winding up in a small pile at the foot of the bed, and I couldn't ignore the fact that I was in bed, already nearly naked with my friend. I'd intentionally found my way to her hotel room after happening upon a particularly heated moment between Rose and Mason Ashford in a nearby hallway while on my rounds. I watched from a corner as she lifted onto her toes, letting his arms wrap around her, kissing him with the same intensity the had been between she and I a few weeks ago, while under a powerful lust charm. Sure, it had been a spell; sure it hadn't held the clear-headed emotion needed for real affection, but then again, it had. I had already confessed to Rose that I did want her before the charm took its effect. There was no use in denying that point. The enchantment would have been ineffective if I had not been attracted to Rose-And oh how I was attracted to so much of her. I told her I still wanted her, but that it was irrelevant. Our desires could not outweigh our duties. She had agreed, but just like me, I could see she was fighting for that shred of control.
After seeing her with Ashford, allowing him to have those pleasures that we denied each other, I found my way to Tasha's room after my shift finished. I wanted to erase the guilt of my jealousy, and erase those thoughts of Rose that continued to haunt me every day and night. No such luck. All I could think about was my mouth on her soft skin, her beautiful dark hair, and her fingers marking lines down my back as she said my name, whispering to me through that pure haze of emotion. I wanted to get back at her for an act I had no right to be upset over. How was I meant to do that when all I could do was picture her perfectly beneath me, tossing her head back as her hips lifted up against mine?
This was impossible.
And all of my memories of being so vulnerable and intimate with Rose, had been like a bucket of cold water thrown over me. I couldn't do this. I couldn't do this to Tasha. I was not that guy. I didn't want to be the man who could be with one woman while thinking of another. I sat up, releasing Tasha without warning, pulling my clothes back on as quickly as possible as she questioned my sudden lack of interest, which wasn't so much a lack of interest in what would inevitably happen, but more interest in being in this bed with someone else.
"I'm sorry Tasha." I apologized, standing from her bed. "I can't."
"Dimitri." She called out my name, but I was mostly dressed and already out the door before she could stop me.
My eyes flashed open in surprise, a freezing sweat beginning to dry over my skin. I sat up in bed, the events of my dream still fresh in my mind. Only it wasn't a dream. It was a memory come back to haunt me. Why was thinking of Tasha Ozera? Then I remembered-Today was the day I would escort Christian to see her for the last time. I flung myself back down onto the bed, groaning miserably into my pillow. This was going to be a long damn day.
The week after the Coronation was not a quiet one. Rose and I were now separated because of the requirement that once in power, the newly elected Moroi Queen would travel to meet many of the royal family heads around the country. Being head guard and best-friend to Queen Vasilisa Dragomir, meant that my Roza had been gone for weeks. I hated being separated from her at times like these. Now on my own with Christian at Court, I still had a lot to answer for. After the daring escape Rose and I went on with the help of our friends, there were questions to be answered, more consequences to be considered, and many amends to be made.
The first apology and dreaded discussion I needed to face was with Tasha Ozera. While Rose had insisted on making Adrian her responsibility, I maintained that Tasha would be mine to face first. I was to blame for the feelings she still harbored for me. I hadn't been able to be completely straight with her when I had refused her offer. I was in love with someone else, and could not fully explain where my heart was then, and where it will always be. Looking back on the complicated mess I was making, I suppose she could've guessed at what lay between me and Rose pretty easily. Perhaps it would have made for a less volatile and unnecessary situation between the three of us if I'd been upfront with my friend in the first place.
Under normal circumstances, Tasha would have already been sent to Eirus Prison, named coincidentally after the heart of Tartarus in Greek Mythology. Few people knew where it was built, and even fewer knew it even existed, holding those who committed crimes worse than those who resided at Tarasov Prison. Eirus was where the traitors were taken for execution. I think Vasilisa felt guilty sentencing Tasha, despite the clear evidence against her, and I figured that the transfer had been postponed in order to let Christian say a final goodbye. I had initially only planned on accompanying Christian to the cells as company (not thinking he would need protecting from his aunt), but as we made our way down the stairs to the Court cells, Christian looked ill. He very much looked like he might pass out.
"Sit down. Take a minute or two before you go in Christian." I instructed, directing the guardian in the hallway to bring Lord Ozera a bottle of water. I offered to go in first, so that he could catch his breath, and he gave a nod.
Once the other guardian returned, I left my new charge to speak to Tasha myself. I opened the door to see her in the nearest cell. She was lying back on her single sized cot, staring up at the ceiling. I knew that once I saw her face to face, the anger I'd felt when she nearly killed my Roza would bubble to the surface again. She had not yet realized it was me who'd entered, so I kept my steps quiet until reaching the bars.
"Tasha." I didn't recognize my own voice. There was a harshness that I even I had not anticipated.
I had good reason to be infuriated with her. She had killed Tatiana Ivashkov, the former Moroi Queen, in cold blood; she had framed Rose with her own stake, and she had influenced our friends into searching for and finding false evidence. I could choose in this moment to hate Tasha for the rest of time. I could steel myself and force her to feel every bit of guilt that she still had not accepted. Finally, then I could walk away without any regret of letting her face her fate alone. That however was not me either. Plus, I felt partially to blame for Tasha's circumstances. All that considered, there was also the fact that through all of those criminal acts, she had accomplished something I thought impossible. It was because of her actions, and because Rose and I were forced to leave that my heart found its way back to the person it needed most. I was also able to finally seek out the absolution I thought was lost after the things I had seen and done.
My voice softened then. "Tasha, we need to talk."
Recognizing my voice, she sat up, but kept her head lowered. "I'm so sorry Dimka." She used my nickname in such a manipulative way now, seeking my sympathy.
It was not something I was willing to give her this time. I now knew the truth behind her façade. "You are sorry that you got caught Natasha." The comment and the use of her full first name shook her enough to look up at me, but before she could refute my accusation, I forced myself to continue. This was going to be an incredibly challenging conversation, but I knew I would not get another chance, so now was the time to say everything that needed saying.
"Do you know how difficult it was for Rose to discover that you were the one to set her up for murder? She never expected…I never thought you would… You were willing to let her be executed for a crime she had no hand in." The full weight of this situation began to set in all over again. I wanted to know why. Well, I knew why, but really, I didn't, and I wanted her to take responsibility. Taking in a deep breath, I calmed my nerves as best I could. "She told me that telling the truth in Court like that was the hardest thing she has ever had to do. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to hear."
My face must have given some of my own emotions away, because Tasha stood, reaching out to touch my arm. I was standing too close. Her touch made me cringe, and I flinched back a foot, surprising her too.
"Don't do that." I ordered.
"Dimka, please." She pulled out that soft calculating timbre I used to fall for.
"You set her up out of jealousy. Is that it?" I was about to say more on the subject, but was interrupted.
"Of course I was jealous. She is not the one you should be with. She cannot give you the things I know you want. She's not good enough. Trouble follows her everywhere Dimka."
"Don't call me that anymore." The truth was it hurt to hear her use that name still, knowing the truth. "You clearly know nothing about Rose, and less about me than you think. You never intended to see her as a friend. You were studying her so that you could use her." My statement was more a musing to myself than to her. I had a brief thought then about what Tasha actually knew. "When did you know? When did you realize I was in love with her?"
"Immediately. I could see it on your face the first day you introduced us. Then it was undeniable at the Christmas brunch. You couldn't keep your eyes from her, even when she brought Mason Ashford with her."
"She is better for me than anyone. She was willing to go to the depths of Hell to find me. She didn't just save my heart. She saved my soul. Can you say you would have done the same thing? Could you have found the same courage to stake me, whether it was to kill me or save me? Rose made that hard choice, and I am eternally grateful."
"The difference between me and her, is that I never would've put you in that sort of danger. I never would've let you go into a situation that would cause me to lose you."
She was obviously talking about the battle at St. Vladimir's, where I had lost my soul. I furrowed my brow, and kept a tentative hold on my control. I did not want to say something I would regret.
"Let me? Tasha, that was all my choice. It is my job to go into those battles. It is my duty to protect. I was in that situation to save Moroi, Dhampirs, and Guardians who had been taken. The difference between you and Rose is that she understands that. She and I are the same whether you want to see it or not."
"She is not perfect Dimitri!"
I couldn't believe she was still arguing this, but I had to admit, she had a good point. It made me laugh to myself. "You're right. Rose is by no means perfect. In fact, she can often be stubborn, reckless, impatient, infuriating, incorrigible, and she often drives me crazy in more ways than I care to count. In spite of all that, I love her unconditionally and entirely. Perhaps that is the reason I am so determined to convince her to marry me." I could see how much the truth of this statement stung her.
"You shouldn't have to convince her Dimitri." Her eyes were cold and still looking for any way to get through. "Does she know?" She smiled, letting the contemptuous question surface between them after all of this time. "Does your Rose know about what happened between us? Did you tell her about how you showed up at my hotel room, tearing at my clothes with all of that desire and passion?"
"Stop." I said.
"Did you tell her the way your mouth started at mine, slowly working down to…"
"Stop it!" I warned her again, louder this time.
"Maybe you mentioned the way your hands touched every part of me. Did you? Did you tell her any of that?"
"I said stop it Tasha." My voice was a low growl. "Keep it up, and I will refuse to let Christian set foot in this room."
She laughed a little. "You didn't say a word to her." She provoked my anger and animosity. "Coward."
That small tenuous hold on my temper was so close to breaking. I would need to walk away soon. "I'm not sure how anything said between me and Rose is your concern."
"It isn't. I simply cannot see her forgiving something like that after so much time, and all that has occurred. Would it hurt for me to leave one last message for her? After all, she hasn't even come to say goodbye to me."
"Do not threaten me Natasha Ozera."
Now she was defiant. That was my cue to say my own goodbye. I took that step toward her cell again. "My time is almost up Tasha. Christian is waiting outside, and I don't doubt this is the last time you will see either of us. You may not have any regrets about what you've done to me or Rose, but I suggest you dig deep to find it within yourself to seek forgiveness from Christian." She opened her mouth to speak, but I was not finished. "It is now my job to protect him, so I hope that when he walks in here, you are able to show some shred of remorse for causing him to lose you too."
Tasha pursed her lips, standing back on her heels rebelliously. She stayed quiet for a few seconds, considering a response to what I had said. I honestly was not expecting her words in return.
"Go to Hell Dimitri." Her tone was flat.
And that was that. That was how this once strong friendship would be remembered.
"Goodbye Tasha." I said just before opening the door, allowing Christian the time he needed with his aunt.
The hesitation in him as he reached the door was not visible to anyone else. I only recognized it because I often held the same shaky control myself. Christian and I really had a lot in common. I gave him a nod of encouragement as he passed by. Closing the door behind him, I wondered if Tasha would take my advice, and show a little more compunction than she had with me
Being at Court full time, I now had an easy flexibility in my guardian duties for Christian. After he was secure in his conversation with Tasha, I could have run off to busy myself elsewhere. I seriously considered the option, but instead stuck around, waiting patiently for my new royal charge. The strigoi stigma upon his family had already been present for years, but with this new development adding murder to the Ozera name, he would have to overcome so much more. I waited the next few hours. When he finally emerged, his eyes were still a little bloodshot, but he looked pleased to see that I had waited.
"How about we go and get a drink." He offered with a smile, knowing I likely had the same thought after talking to Tasha.
It was done. For better or worse, one awkward and terrible conversation was out of the way. I had little answers for the questions I still had, but Rose and I were better off now. Another layer of guilt had been lifted from me.
So, while I am working on a few new chapters for Part 3 of Last Priestess, I have also been wanting to write this Vampire Academy piece for quite a while now. I have not been able to get these three conversations out of my head, so hopefully, posting them will help. Next up is a lovely and enlightening conversation between Dimitri and Alberta.
I hope you enjoyed this first chapter. There will only be two more.
