"Without a goodbye"
"Without a goodbye". "What is it?" I hear you asking, whilst reading this story in a cold, rainy night, such as the one I wrote this, and wondering what is the sense of the title, or what the story is. And, while there might be no universal answer to that question (there never is), this ones are close enough.
So what is it, then? A story based, if not in real events, yes in real feelings. A story of what could have, but didn't. A story of what couldn't have, but did. The reason why a seemingly small flaw, or a few minor personality traits, can cost you everything. And something I just owed to myself.
Which real events is something I'm not telling. It is best for those involved in them that those are kept to the secrecy of the general public, only to be revealed to those that the involved fully trust in. However, one person needs to know this story is inspired mostly (and I say mostly for this story is also based on other events) inspired on that, and the word I am going to use to trigger that knowledge is "Lilith" (okay, I know that it sounds like the name of one of those involved, but it isn't. It's pretty close to name, surname and nickname, though, so for that I shall use it).
Well, without hesitation, let us start to mourn and weep.
Chapter 1: "Mistakes"
I had already finished packing my whole life away, as well as a few items I might need, in a rucksack. My clothing. Mog's ribbon. My rackets and flutes. Those books I so love. My moogle flute, crafted by my dear moogles. My Memory Earring, which once meant so much to me. A few too many small hand-made sketches of many people. I also take a few healing items, such as potions and ethers.
Yes, I am Eiko Carol. And I am basically preparing my luggage to leave at any moment. I didn't like that situation, but that's what there was. And all because of me.
Yes, all because of me. I had behaved like a horrible person, bothering…
"Hey, Ziddy, want to hear what happened to me today?"
"I am a little bit tired right now, but I'll hear it later, ok, Miss Carol?"
"NO! I want to tell it to you NOW!"
"Well, I suppose it can't take long, so why not?"
"I am so glad you have chosen to hear it! Well, this is what happens…"
(5 hours later)
"And then I run into Tiffany! And I hadn't seen her since…"
(5 hours later)
"And do you know what happened to me later?"
"NO! AND I DO NOT CARE YOU STUPID BLUE-HAIRED IMP! NOW GO AWAY BEFORE I RIP OUT YOUR CLAWS WITH MY MYTHRIL DAGGERS!
… and even insulting…
"Hey Vivi"
"Yes?"
"Ha-ha! You stink! You can only use black magic! All of your good moves can be mirrored! You can't even use Ultima! And your only weapon is a silly stick!"
"You'll regret this (hits Eiko with the stick in the head). And "Ha-ha" to YOU"
… so I became a loathed person. Now absolutely everyone hated me. The only place left for me then is Madain Sari. I have to go there. I will miss everyone, I'm sure, but they won't miss me.
Now I had to leave. I must not return under any circumstance, no matter what. I started pacing toward the door. Only 15 more meters. Yeah, that's the spirit, girl. I was about to leave…
The story ends here, with no real ending, because the real story has not yet ended, but the miasma on my soul has at least decreased, and that is good enough. Depending on circumstance, I will give it one ending or another.
