AN: Okay so this is basically the epilogue (a long epilogue) to The Real Jace, if you haven't read that yet I guess you could still read this but you really should read it first.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Shocker right?
I woke up breathing hard, I realized I was safe, at the Lightwood's in my own bed. I wasn't there, it was just a dream. I was safe. Then I realized I wasn't alone, Clary was curled up next to me, she must have been able to tell that something was wrong because she seemed to be waking up- very slowly- I smiled to myself, she was soooo hard to wake up. I still felt panicky though, 'Chill Jace, it's okay, breath, your safe.' I reminded myself, it didn't do any good, my mind went to the little box under my bed, the one holding my knife... I shook my head, Clary knew about that now, as of a few hours ago, before I would have taken out the knife, and used it as the only way to calm myself. But now- even if Clary hadn't had Alec take it from me- I was surprised to find that although I still wanted to use it it was different this time, this time I had another choice, a better choice, one that hopefully wouldn't make my beautiful Clary cry. I wasn't sure how to go about this...I'd never done this, it felt weak...but no, it wasn't right? I'd always thought the people that said sometimes the strongest thing to do is to ask for help were quite frankly full of ... Beans, yes let's go with beans...but maybe i had been wrong... Maybe.
"Clary? Can I talk to you?" my voice was quiet and sounded scared even to my own ears.
She was awake in an instant, as I had known she would be.
"Jace?" she asked blinking sleep from her eyes, I saw her face change from confusion to worry, as she registered what I had just asked her.
"Of course you can. That's why I'm here remember?"
I did remember, I been trying forget though, I had just wanted one night, one night to be a normal teenage guy -minus the sex, although that didn't mean I hadn't wanted it- it had been going good to, if you didn't count the fact that I still couldn't get out of bed by myself... Alec was being really good about helping me to and from the bathroom but... Anyway... It been going good until now.
I realized I was shaking, she rolled over so that she on top of me, she used her hands to hold herself up so she didn't hurt my chest, the way I usually kept from crushing her.
The warmth and closeness of her helped me stop shaking.
"What is it?" the worry was clear in her voice, I hated to make her worry.
"Never mind, I'm fine now."
"No Jace. Your not. Its okay, tell me."
"I can't, I don't want to worry you."
"I worry more when you don't talk. I don't know how many times I have to tell you that."
"I just, I had a dream... The kind that would have made me..."
"Open the box?"
I nodded.
"The numbness?"
I shook my head, "Panic, it's better now though."
"It's good to know I'm just as useful as a knife.". She kissed me, but this time it was gental and calming. I felt the panic wash away.
"If not more so." I said when she pulled away.
"Flattery will not get you out of talking."
I rolled my eyes. "It was worth a try."
"No it wasn't now spill."
She was so cute when she told me what to do, not that meant I listened to her.
Before long though I found myself talking about my childhood again, for the next few days she didn't leave my side for more than an hour at a time, and I told her so many thing, things I had never spoken of before, things I had tried to keep inside for far too long.
NA: I know it's short, but the flashbacks will be longer. I promise. What did you think?
Oh and the next few chapters will be flashbacks just FYI.
Jace: Come on tell them the truth.
Me: I don't know what you're talking about.
Jace: Tell the truth. Isn't that what you're trying to teach me in the horrid thing you call a story?
Me: No...I'm teaching to talk about your feelings... Are you even paying attention? But fine. I don't even own the Story or the chapter names! I took the names of songs and changed them. Happy?
Jace: Very but I don't know that is legal if you don't say the song and band names.
Me: Fine, The Art of Healing is The Art of Breaking by Thousand Foot Krutch and The First Night is The Last Night by Skillet. Now tell them what I do Own.
Jace Ummm Nothing? Other than this? And the crappy disclaim at the top which is now serving no purpose... Oh and my depression. You own that because it's really yours... It doesn't seem fair that when you write you feel better but make me feel even worse than you did to start with.
"
Me: I own something! I own something! In your face!
Jace: Bye... *walks away.*
lol Sorry this is about as long as the chapter... but it was fun...XD
