Wanted to have a go at writing a quick oneshot, and this came to me in the shower (yeah you all wanted to know that!) so I thought I'd throw it out here and see what I got. I struggled a bit writing it, but I hope it's come out ok - I didn't really know how to structure around the main idea I had.
Walking down into the basement area with his camera in hand Kenny started thumbing through the notes he'd made with his free hand. He'd gone over this countless times in his mind, but now the time was here he wasn't 100% sure he wanted it. It was a bit too late though, he'd already made the deal and who knows what would happen if those terms were broken.
He set the camera up on a small tripod that sat on a lonely desk in the dimly lit room and moved a single bare wooden chair in front of it. He took a quick look in the viewfinder to make sure it filled the screen, and pressed record. He took a seat and sat there for a few seconds before returning the camera to stop, rewind and check he was in a good position on the tape. With everything set, he pulled his notes down and opened his phone contacts, quickly thumbing through the numbers until he found the one he wanted.
"Hey dude… yeah it's all going ahead… yeah give me half an hour, if I need longer I'll text you… the money is in the glove box of my car, the car's yours too… I'll leave the note you need to pass on next to the camera… yeah no worries, and thanks once again man… goodbye"
That's the loose ends tied up. Now all that's left is to get this done. With nothing left to think about, Kenny hit record…
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooo
5 days earlier
"Hey Kyle, have you seen Kenny recently?"
"I saw him yesterday for a quick hello, but not as much recently. I dunno, you know Kenny, he does this all the time doesn't he?"
Stan had a fair point, but even so, Kyle didn't really like it. Sometimes Kenny would be gone for a day or two, but sometimes he could go off for a week or more. And there's no way to even contact him either. It's like he just disappears off the face of the earth. Most of the time they played it as if he'd never gone anywhere, purely because Kenny doesn't say anything. He just carries on from where he left off.
"Hey guys, Kenny wants you to see him real quick on the canteen. I'm guessing for what he just asked me too."
"Cartman… are you feeling alright?"
"Um… yeah why?"
"You've just come from the canteen and you're not loaded down with food wrappers!"
"Kahl, I don't know whether your jew eyes have started tricking you, or whether the jew in you is just lying which wouldn't surprise me but you can quite clearly see I'm not fat. You however are a no good dirty jew. So say what you will but go see Kenny ok?"
That's another thing Stan and Kyle didn't like. Ever since Cartman grew into his fat he became much nicer, and it was creepy to say the least! Still, best go see what Kenny wants.
Stan and Kyle both make their way into the canteen and spy the orange parker sitting in the usual spot. He doesn't look up as they approach, he simply carries on eating and reading a book he "acquired" from the library.
"Hey guys, you seen Cartman I take it?"
"Yeah, he said you wanted to see us before the end of school?"
"Yeah, cheers guys. I'm not gonna be in school for the rest of this week, but I wondered if you wanted to come to mine this Friday? My parents and sister are out and I wanted to chuck on a light film and talk to you all about something?"
Stan and Kyle exchanged a quick glance before Stan took over
"Sure dude, we can do that… what do you wanna talk about?"
"That can wait till then, but it's quite important. I've asked Cartman to be there around 8 so if you could get there for then that'd be great."
"Sure thing dude, so we'll see you in class later today?"
"Yeah, I'll be in this afternoon"
"Cool, catch you later then!"
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooo
Kyle opened the door and shouted a goodbye to his parents before greeting Stan and Cartman. In order to get Cartman there on time they decided to meet up beforehand and make their way to Kenny's house together. As they walked they tossed around ideas as to what Kenny wanted to talk about in amongst school gossip and girl talk. After about ten minutes they arrived at their destination and Stan stepped forward to knock on the door.
All three stood confused when the door opened and a man offered them inside.
"Who the hell are you dude?"
"Nevermind that. Kenny asked me to be here to show you in. Please, this is important to him and I'm not gonna do anything funny, I'll be leaving in a minute. Just come in and sit down."
With a slightly nervous edge, the three boys entered and huddled on the sofa, never taking their eyes off the mystery man as he crossed the room and picked up the remote control.
"Kenny has asked for you to watch this quick DVD before he joins you. He really needs you to watch."
The tv static blurred through, but quickly focused on a chair in an empty room
"What the fuck is going on dude!"
Kyle managed to edge out a sentence, but the other two were simply too confused. The man walked up to the sofa and put an empty bucket next to Stan and left the controller on the side.
"Thank you for coming boys. I'll be off now. Please watch the DVD in full."
With that he was gone, and the three boys were left staring at the screen as Kenny came into view and took a seat. With a deep breath, the dialogue started…
"Hey guys. Thanks so much for coming round. You're probably all confused as fuck, so much so that Cartman's probably not noticed the cheesy poofs on the side by him. Hopefully you noticed Dave leaving a bucket nearby though. You may need that at some point – and Stan I'm looking at you when I say that.
Before I get into things I want to ask you just one favour. Please, please watch this video in its entirety. Don't pause it, or turn it off. Don't leave at any point. Please listen carefully and fully understand everything that's here. I appreciate that what you're about to see and hear may be very confusing and possibly unbelievable, but hopefully my editing skills have sufficed enough to help you through this.
Well where to begin… First of all I want to tell you all that I love you beyond belief. I really couldn't have asked for a better group of friends. Stan, you've been such a rock for me in times of major hurt. Kyle, you've helped me so much in school to get me passing classes, and Cartman… dude you've been my best friend since kindergarten. Stan and Kyle have always had each other which was awesome, but we've always had each other too in our own way. I have a great deal of respect for you and I know you'll be a great man.
Well, I want to tell you guys a bit about my life over the last few years. You guys know that I'm not exactly in the most stable family environment, and my dad is fairly regular in laying beatings on me most nights. That's something I can thank Kyle for. Ever since I started doing better in school my dad eased up. I'll be forever grateful to you for that. In school too, a fair number of the older kids liked to play piñata with me on more than one occasion. Since Stan started playing football though they layed off too, and again I'm grateful for that. And since I liked hanging round you Cartman and you were always too fat for your own good a few kids wouldn't bother me for fear you'd sit on them ha!"
All three boys let out a small but concerned chuckle. Eager to see what was coming they leaned into each other for support.
"The point is, to be fair my life is fucking shit. If I'm not getting beat on then I'm going hungry. And the only saving grace to all of this is you guys. You guys are such a positive aspect of life in general. But sometimes in life you gotta weigh up the good and the bad. Every now and then the bad outweighs the good.
So here we are. To the reason you guys are here tonight. I have a secret I need to tell you all, and you need to hear it because the end of this DVD relies on you knowing this. The thing is… I can't die."
All three boys mouth's dropped simultaneously. Cartman scoffed and Stan and Kyle just looked at each other, not knowing what reaction to give.
"Now I'm gonna go out on a limb here… Cartman don't scoff, Stan don't pinch the bridge of your nose and Kyle don't roll your eyes. I hope I got all those right"
He damn well did. Again all three had to laugh at the realisation.
"Now I'm not expecting you to believe this for a minute so I've put together a little presentation for you. I really need you to watch these, because I need you to believe me. Please bear with me because it's really important. And I've pre-thought a bit so please remember there's a bucket near you. Stan I'm sorry but I'm expecting you to need this more than the others. What is coming up is going to be very graphic and extremely raw. Do your best to look at the date and time stamps, and also please try to at least watch one of the video pieces all the way through. I'm sorry to have to show you this…"
What came up on the screen was a very graphic photo of Kenny during an autopsy. Half his chest was open and some of his organs had been removed. Nothing else was really needed, Stan grabbed the bucket and let his dinner fill the bottom of it. Cartman's face was simply twisted in terror and disgust, and Kyle was half looking at the screen through his fingers, trying to block out the sound of Stan's upchuck.
After the photo were four separate video clips, each of which more violent and graphic than the last, and all depicted Kenny being mutilated and killed in some way. It was all home shot footage featuring Kenny stabbing himself, slitting his wrists, crushing his head under bricks or letting power tools rip into him. The volume was down on the clips but you could still here Kenny's pained screams of terror as each video closed out and focused on him in a pool of his own blood. Stan and Kyle both leaned forward and simultaneously threw up into the bucket. Cartman was still unmoved, the same look crossing his face.
Once the videos finished, the screen once again returned to Kenny in the chair.
"Sorry again guys, but you needed to see it. I'm sure you've got questions about it and I'm going to try and answer what I assume you may ask. Firstly, for some reason, whenever I die I always wake up in my bed. I don't know how long I'm gone for, but usually the longer it takes me to die, the longer I take to come back. Because I wake up unchanged, you guys forget about my deaths and carry on like nothing happens. That's why I'm sometimes gone for a few days. And there's no point in telling you in any other way because you never remember. I've tried telling you a few times before and you all laughed it off. This time though I've got a guarantee that you will remember.
You might be wondering what happens when I die. Well sometimes I see a light, sometimes I see heaven, most times I see Hell. Sometimes it feels like I'm flying, sometimes falling. It's completely random to be honest, but I can tell you that it's all totally peaceful. When your time comes, don't fear death, because once you're dead it's pure bliss!
I'm tired guys. I'm tired of getting beaten on, tired of being poor, tired of struggling through life each and every day. I'm tired of being a crutch to you three, I'm tired of not having a lot to look forward to. I'm tired of having no one to live for…"
Kenny sniffed back tears on the film and the three boys did the same at his honest confessions. In the company of the television, all three were clutching to one another.
"I'm just really tired. So I've made a decision. I'm not going to deal with it anymore. In order to make the videos you saw earlier I spent this week killing myself. Each time I was taken to Hell and managed to get hold of Damien. You remember him? I had quite a long conversation with him. Guys, I don't want to live this way anymore. I don't want to go on the way I am. I, Kenny McCormick, have made a deal with the devil.
I don't want to be reborn every time. I don't want to come back. As much as it kills me to lose you guys, and know that you might be hurting because of this, I just can't handle it. I've asked if I can stay. I want to die and not come back. I don't want to live anymore. And so this time guys, I won't be coming back…
I'm going to be serving. As part of my conditions I've asked for a few things. Firstly, and I'm sorry for this but, I've asked that you guys will remember this evening. I don't want you to forget me. I know it's selfish, but I want you to remember what has happened. The second part of my agreement though, is that I don't want you to be in pain. I've asked that you guys all live happy lives. Remembering my death, but remembering the good times. If you guys do grieve for me, then once you're done you will have happy lives. You'll make mistakes and be saddened by them, you'll learn from them, but you will all enjoy success, happiness, love and companionship.
This is what I want. All I've ever wanted. I've wanted to be the cause of your happiness. To do that I have to do something that may cause you pain. But guys please understand that I'm doing this to try and leave a good mark behind."
Kenny disappears from the screen for a moment and returns soon after brandishing a gun.
"By the time the DVD finishes I'll be long gone, watching over you for the rest of your lives. Before I go though, I'd like you to call the police and ambulance to come and collect my body. I'm in the basement of Clyde's old house. It's still abandoned so it's perfect. Please don't do anything until the DVD finishes though."
Kenny looks at the gun in his hand and cocks it. He looks back into the camera with fresh tears in his eyes, openly sobbing before the three onlookers as his final moments are played out.
"I hope I've covered everything. I think I have. Guys, please believe me when I say I love you more than anything in the world. You have been my life, my reason for being and my reason for carrying on. I'll be forever grateful for knowing you all… Goodbye you guys…"
Kenny stands up and moves off screen. The three boys stare in horror at the screen, waiting to see their friend come on screen one last time. They keep watching in eagerness. In complete silence…
As the DVD fades out, a single gunshot sounds…
