Prologue

The water blasted from the shower head as I stepped in. My face was red and blotchy from holding it all in. As soon as the shower curtain was closed, I broke. I felt my body shake and shudder with convulsions. Tears streamed down my face, but I couldn't tell the difference between them and the water, pouring down, washing them away.

My teeth chattered and I strained to control them. My jaw ached with effort.

I felt my heart tear into thousands of pieces as I thought of the man I loved and knew I could never have. It felt like someone not only was stabbing my chest, but was burning it and cutting it—mutilating my heart until nothing was left. Life was cruel for some, but just downright unfair and unjust for the people who need and deserved something better and more positive in their lives.

There were so many times in my life when I've actually wanted to cry. Times when I've practically begged God to just let me fall to pieces thinking I would feel better after letting it all out. But as was usually the case, I was incapable of doing so. Now, when it didn't even directly affect me, I was in pieces. Rejection has always affected me, but this time, I didn't care. The odd thing was, I wasn't crying for the reason I should be. It mad no sense. This time, it was a much more pressing issue. I was crying for someone else rather than myself. And I can't tell a soul.