I guess I should've seen it coming.
I mean, they'd been fighting for ages, and it just kept getting worse. I should've seen the train wreck approaching from a mile away. I should've realized.
In Psychology, we call this a "hindsight bias." What we know now feels like it should've been obvious before. But it wasn't. Which, I guess, is why I feel like someone just punched a hole through my stomach.
No.
No, that's not it.
People say that when you get bad news, it's like your heart leaps to your throat and your stomach drops to your toes.
That's what it was like.
Exactly that.
"Sweetie..."
Of course it started that way. It always starts that way. Yes mommy, yes daddy. Good call. A pet name will definitely soften the blow.
Morons.
"...well, you see, the thing is..."
And now you're stalling. Perfect. Another fantastic idea- draw out the already uncomfortable process! Man, you guys should write a handbook or something.
"...we're getting a divorce."
...and there goes my stomach. and my heart.
It's weird, because you'd think I'd start crying hysterically. Or at least feel some sort of emotional pain. But I don't feel anything at all. No ache in the back of my throat, no tears welling up beneath my lashes. Nope. Nada. Just this weird, empty feeling. Blank and bland. A black hole. Etcetera.
They're looking at me expectantly now. Great.
"Okay...?" is my brilliant response.
Now they're looking at each other. "Exchanging a glance". Awesome, now they think I'm some sort of cold, emotionless robot-child. Not that they ever really knew me anyway. Aghhhh teenage angst!!!!11
"Now, we want you to know that above everything else, this isn't your fault."
Thanks, guys. Stellar job, really. Totally profesh. I mean my God, you're practically plagiarizing the Young Adult section of the local library at this point. I don't want to hear this anymore. I open my mouth and speak, and my voice actually wavers a little, which is strange because as far as I can feel, I'm still an emotionless void.
"So, um, I think I'm gonna go now. Out. To think. And stuff." And by that, I add silently, I mean "get completely and utterly shitfaced with my best friends. Not that you were ever involved enough in my life to realize that all those times I came home smashed, I was not just being overly emotional because it was that time of month. Seriously. In December it was every weekend! And you still didn't catch on. Good riddance."
At this point in the inner monologue, I'm out the door, car keys in hand. Thank God for rich, detached parents and their idea of a good 14th birthday present... "You'll be driving soon, right honey? Oh. No? Well! Um. Think of this as... uh. Motivation! Yeah. Ohh oh sorry important work call. Yeah okay we'll talk at dinner. Maybe."
Tch.
Don't get me wrong, I don't hate my parents. I just...disdain them, which of course, isn't exactly a healthy attitude for an 18 year old girl to have. But...well, I can't say that they really try, because that would be a huge lie. But.. well, I'm pretty sure they care. They're just...bumbling. They don't have their priorities right, because obviously if they did, they wouldn't put "work", "being social butterflies", and "being rich snobs" ahead of "being decent parents/human beings."
Okay, so I'm a little bitter.
The good news, though, is that I'm not that screwed up! I mean, given the circumstances, I'm pretty normal. As soon as I realized that my parents weren't exactly ideal (read: permissive as hell), I started whipping myself into shape. Because I need somebody I can count on, and it clearly wasn't going to be them.
As I slam the car door shut, I whip out my phone (yes, it's the new Verizon iPhone, because my parents are loaded and they think that showering me with exorbitant gifts will make up for their abundant lack of parenting), because it's only fair to give Naruto and Sasuke at least a little bit of advance warning. On that note, I text Ino, TenTen, and Sai, because what the hell, let's make it a fucking party.
Ino was my best friend from the start, when I was an insecure little girl with a too big forehead and wide, innocent eyes.
Ha.
I laughed out loud just thinking that.
Anyway, then Sasuke showed up and we had a bit of a falling-out, because we were little girls trying to be big girls and we thought what we felt was love. He, of course, was only interested in not contracting cooties.
Funny how these things work out, because now we're all great friends. Which is good for me, because without Naruto and Sasuke to keep me grounded and Ino and TenTen to be my support system, I probably would've gone crazy (okay, craziER) by now.
Sai is Ino's new boyfriend. I guess she never really got over the tall, brooding, and drop-dead gorgeous phase, because he's pretty much Sasuke's doppelganger in every way except the hair. And the personality, of course, but that's sort of unimportant from Ino's perspective.
At this point I'm already pulling into the garage of Naruto's apartment complex. His parents died when he was still a baby, so his grandfather took him in. He died just a few years ago, so Naruto's on his own now. It was a tough time, but Naruto's a tough kid with a disposition so cheerful that being around him is like drowning in sunshine and laughing babies, or whatever. So anyway, it didn't take him too long to bounce back, and now he lives alone, so we go to his place to get drunk. Long story short, that is.
I get out of the car, grab some of the miso ramen I keep stocked in there to surprise Naruto with (swear to god, he lives off the stuff. and he's not exactly rich, so I just pretend I'm making up for that time when we were 13 and I forgot his birthday).
When I open the door, everybody's already there cracking open the PBRs. "What's the sitch, KP?" jokes Naruto, but a closer look at my face wipes the laugh clean off his face, which is saying something.
"Sakura..." Ino begins, but she doesn't get any further because then I'm in her arms focusing on breathing in and out and in and out to keep myself from breaking down completely.
