Aug. 2, 2012
It's not often that something positively screams at me to be written. Earlier today, I was considering quitting writing, because I was down on myself because of the fact that I was run down and couldn't think of any new ideas. Then, tonight, I listened to a song and I knew I couldn't rest until I wrote this.
Inspired by the song "Home" by Mumford and Sons. I urge you to listen to it.
I don't own Twilight.
JPOV
It was raining the last time I visited my Edward. It was October and the sky was covered with low hanging grey clouds. That was normal for the time of year.I wasn't bothered, though. An umbrella kept the rain off of me nicely. There was no way I was passing up the chance to visit my lover.
I spread a piece of plastic on the ground and slowly sat upon it. I wasn't as young as I used to be. My caretaker, Mrs. Platt, made sure to tell me that every day, when I would go out and try to weed the flowers or go get the mail. She didn't know what she was talking about.
Yes, my hair was more white than blond now, but that didn't amount to a hill of beans. There were people younger than me who had more white than I.
Thinking of the color of my hair reminded me of when I first noticed the first traces of grey in my Edward's brown locks. it was right at his temples, and he fretted every day in front of the mirror about it. I always told him it made him look distinguished, but he always smacked me on the arm and told me to fuck off, he was getting old.
No matter what age he was, Edward was the love of my life and always would be. I knew it from the day we first met, in high school. He was the new kid, geeky and awkward, and I was chosen as his Senior buddy. Naturally, I wasn't attracted to that idea at first, but as I got to know my charge, something that would change both of our lives forever happened. We fell in love.
Naturally, we went to the same college and shared an off campus apartment. I have thanked the heavens above many times that the walls weren't able to talk. So much happened behind the closed doors of that flat.
Wild parties after finals in school, lazy nights of watching TV on the couch, and hosting a bachelor party for our best friend Emmett when he got married. Of course, there were also the not so pleasant things that happened.
I held Edward as he collapsed on the living room floor and cried when he found out his father had died. He waited on me hand and foot while I laid on the couch with a broken leg, for the whole summer, and he didn't complain once.
Even after we finished school and got jobs, we didn't leave that flat. We had so many memories there, we just couldn't let it go. Even now, I live there. Of course, Mrs. Platt had to help me up the stairs that I used to bound up two at a time, but I accepted it. It was a small price to pay to be able to stay in the home Edward and I loved so much.
Running my hand over the short brown grass and watching the raindrops spray everywhere, I asked, "Edward, do you remember carrying that couch we bought up the stairs to the flat? Damn heavy, wasn't it? I didn't think we were going to make it and I cussed you out every step of the way." I chuckled dryly. "Although, once we got it in there, I cussed at you for a whole different reason."
Shielding my eyes from the rain, I glanced up at the sky.
"I remember when it would rain on the weekends and we would curl up together in the big chair and read together. You'd have your Edgar Allen Poe book and I would have my gay romance. I bet you read that book a hundred times, but you never got tired of it. It was so damn worn out, but no, you wouldn't let me buy you a new one. You taped up the ratted thing and continued to read it anyway."
I shook my head, smiling softly.
"I used to read it to you when you were in the hospital, too. I don't know if you knew it, but I did. By the time you went there, your disease was so advanced, the only thing they could do was keep you doped up on painkillers.
"You were always so beautiful, Edward. Even when you started losing your hair and I shaved your head for you. I loved the way you refused to wear a wig or hat. It showed everyone just how brave you were. "
I had to stop talking then, so I could fish a handkerchief out of my coat pocket and dab at my eyes.
"God, I miss you. I have missed you every single day since you've been gone. Even though it's been going on ten years now, the house still isn't the same, and I still don't sleep on your side of the bed. Sometimes, I dream that you're still here, holding me as we danced at our wedding, with your eyes sparkling and healthy.
I don't wish for those days back, though. If it were that time again, I would have to watch as you suffered the migraines, the many tests, the chemo and all that came with it. I wouldn't want to put you through that ever again."
A thin hand rested on my shoulder and I glanced up at Mrs. Platt. She was telling me it was almost time to go. I nodded once and gazed back at the marble stone that was all I had left of my husband.
"I'm going to have to leave soon, Edward, even though I don't want to. Mrs. Platt is one pushy bitch, I tell you."
She laughed softly behind me.
"Anyway," I continued, "I'm not getting on so well these days. I always get a bit blue when this time of the year comes around."
Licking my dry lips, I glanced around the cemetery.
"I know I have said it before, but you really did pick a beautiful spot. In the Spring, the flowers bloom nearby and if the wind blows just right, they smell nice. There's a big tree just behind you that gives excellent shade in Summer. And, just like you asked, the stone with my name on it is right beside you. In a way, it looks strange, seeing my name on a headstone, but not really. Honestly, sometimes I have wished to already be buried next to you, so we could continue our lives together in Heaven.
"The most I wished it was when I lost my parents a couple of years ago. I was so angry that they got to see you before I did. I almost threw a right tantrum about it until Mrs. Platt threatened to slap me silly if I didn't stop talking about such nonsense."
I grinned back at my caregiver, and she gave me one of her heartwarming smiles.
"Anyway," I said, turning back to Edward, "it's starting to rain a bit harder, and I don't want to get in trouble for catching a cold, so I better get going. I love you, you know, and I will until I join you in death."
I brought my slightly shaking hand to my lips, kissed my fingers, and brushed them across my husband's name on the cold stone. After, I motioned for Mrs. Platt to help me up. She got me to my feet and helped me amble back to the car. I always felt sad leaving Edward there, cold and alone, but I knew in my heart that he was safe and warm and happy in Heaven.
On the way home, I stared out the window, and Mrs. Platt let me simmer in my thoughts and memories. She was such a kind lady to allow me those moments to myself. A lot of times, I looked on her as a daughter.
When we arrived, I was helped up the stairs and into the flat. The heat felt good on my aching old bones and I reclined in my favorite chair to rest for a bit. My outing had worn me out and I was hoping to get a little nap before dinner. The warmth in the flat along with the rattling of dishes in the kitchen by Mrs. Platt soon lulled me into slumber.
My eyes opened and, surprisingly, Edward was sitting in the usual reading chair with his copy of Poe.
"Hey, Jasper. Finally," he grinned.
For a moment, I couldn't say anything. I was drinking in the sight of a young, vibrant Edward. His hair showed no traces of grey, his face was wrinkle free, and he was as fit as he was at twenty five. I did notice he had on his wedding band.
"Edward? You're here? How?" I asked, still stunned.
"I came to get you, love," he answered, still smiling.
"What?" I asked, confused. "I don't understand."
"Look at yourself."
Slowly, I rose from my chair and noticed my body didn't ache. I felt...good. Holding my hands out in front of me, I studied them. There were no wrinkles and no age spots.
Still gobsmacked, I took my hair and pulled it in front of my eyes. It was blonde again!
"Oh my God...does this mean?"
Edward nodded his head. "Yes, love. I'm here to take you home."
My chest felt full to bursting with love for the man I had loved for forever. I rushed to him and threw my arms around his neck.
"You have no idea how long I have waited to be with you again, Edward. I love you. I missed you so much!" I mumbled into his hair.
"I know," he replied, rubbing my back with his once again strong hands. "I have been watching for all these years. You visited my grave once every season, and in the Fall, it was on the anniversary of my death."
Pulling back to gaze into his beautiful face, I nodded. The tears that were threatening to fall spilled over, and he wiped them away. God, I had missed his touch so much!
"Are you ready to go?" he finally asked.
"But what about Mrs. Platt?"
"She's going to be fine," my husband said fondly. "We won't have to wait too long for her to join us." He held out his hand for me to take and I entwined our fingers.
"Take me home, lover," I whispered.
Thank you for reading.
Penny
