EB: hi dave.
EB: im coming over, okay?
TG: yeah sure bro
TG: jade finally getting to you hahaha youre fucked man
EB: shut the hell up, dave.
TG: you can come in on your own the doors unlocked
EB: okay.
I stumbled through the door to Dave's apartment, seeing him lounging on the couch, playing on his Xbox. He turned to me and smirked his cool-guy smirk, then chuckled.
"Someone getting to you, John?" he said, his voice silky and warm like heated honey.
I felt shivers down my spine at the sound of his voice, and murmured, "Yeah. Jade has been driving me crazy lately. Keeps pressuring me to pop the question." I held my head in my hands and raked my fingers through my unruly black hair. Stress had overtaken the regular John lately.
It was Jade and I's three year anniversary soon, and she was pushing me to marry her. Honestly, after being with Jade for a couple of years, I knew the affection I had for her was no more than brotherly. I had always thought Dave was a much better fit for her, but when I thought about Dave and Jade being together, my heart started to ache. Dave was mine, dammit.
Not that I'm homo or anything. Not at all. I just want to have Dave to myself.
I was practically pulling my hair out of my head. I'm not a homo. I don't love Dave. I love Jade. But something in the back of my mind kept echoing that I only loved Jade in a brotherly way.
I turned to Dave and mumbled, "What do you do if you think you love someone?"
Dave continued mashing buttons, not looking away from the screen. "You tell them in some really cool way that you love them. Like make them a comic or drop some sick beats about it."
I continued, "But what if this person is clearly not into you and you have a girlfriend already?"
Dave sighed, pausing his game and looking at me through his shades. "Then you let it go."
My heart froze, and I felt my skin crawl. Dave thought I should let it go.
"And they aren't the opposite gender," I whispered, not sure whether or not to hope he heard me.
Dave's eyebrows shot up from underneath his glasses, and I blushed profusely. "If the situation is so life-altering, like thinking you may be into dudes or whatever, you should definitely tell the person. But whatever John. You shouldn't take my advice for your oddly specific situation. I've never been able to tell the person I love how I felt."
He turned back to his game, his lips in a firm line. Dave was done with this conversation. You could see it in his face.
I turned to the TV screen and watched him play for a bit, then piped up, "Why have you never told them?"
Dave sighed heavily, then set down the controller. "Same reason as you, Egderp. They aren't into me."
I murmured, "Well, that's too bad…"
Dave tensed up at my words, and his hands balled into fists. Then he exploded.
Dave reached out and snatched the collar of my shirt, pinning me to a wall and holding my wrists above my head. "Who is it, huh? Karkat? Gamzee? Maybe that freak, Sollux?! Who is it you love, John? Who the fuck is it?!" he yelled angrily. "I sure as hell can tell you who I love! It's you, dammit! I've had to watch you with Jade for years, you seeming so fucking happy while I die a little inside every time she touches you! And now you're coming to me, telling me you love another man? That's worse than you being with Jade, because now I know there was always a little hope for me to have you! And I never acted on it because I was a fucking coward! It's Karkat, isn't it? That little asshole, with the bad attitude and gay-ass movie taste! That's who you fucking love. You love him, even though you're the only reason I get up in the morning! You're my fucking oxygen."
Then I reached over and pulled his shades off his face, staring into the eyes I had longed to see for years.
"What the hell, Egbert?!" Dave yelled, turning pink in what I thought might be a blush.
"You're beautiful," I breathed, staring into eyes as red as the text he typed in. Freckles spattered the skin below his eyes, his blonde hair dusting the tops of his eyebrows. I ran my hands through it and smiled.
Dave pushed me away suddenly and regained his cool as quickly as he had lost it. "Go tell Karkat. Tell Jade, too. You deserve to be happy."
His voice was shaking, just the tiniest hair, and I picked up on it. "I don't love Karkat," I said, my voice strong.
"Gamzee?" Dave breathed out.
I shook my head and then ran into Dave's arms, snuggling onto his chest and murmuring against the skin on his neck gently. "I love YOU."
Dave tensed, and then I felt him shake a bit. "I… I thought you weren't homo…"
"Well, you know, whatever," I whispered quietly.
Then I felt strong arms wrap around me and hold me tightly.
Dave pressed his nose to my hair, and inhaled gently.
And in that moment, I don't think Dave had ever gotten more oxygen.
