Author's note: This takes place during a fictional time somewhere in Season 2, sometime after Lincoln disappeared but before Lexa kissed Clarke. It was inspired by my imagination running wild after Clarke hooked up with Niylah because it didn't seem like it wasn't her first time with a woman. So I went from wondering how many hearts she broke in the sky and who she would maybe have rolled around with on the ground...and here we are. Enjoy!
Every time Clarke Griffin closed her eyes, her thoughts took over. They buzzed around, getting louder and louder, reminding her of everything she had to do, everything she didn't do, everything she's done. It's a miracle she ever got any sleep at all. In fact, sometimes she didn't. And often when she did, it was riddled with frantic nightmares, making it virtually worthless. Clarke knew her body would give in before her mind did, so she just lay still, trying not to dwell on the things that haunted her, thinking instead of the days ahead. First thing they'd have to do when the sun rose is find more water; they'd been in the woods a few days and they were getting low; it didn't look like it would rain anytime soon. Then they would head-
"Hey, Griffin, I can hear you thinking too hard from here."
The voice cut through the silence of the night, bringing Clarke's train of thought to an abrupt halt. She had purposefully camped away from the rest of the group so she could get up and get to work in the morning without disturbing anyone, since she was always the first one awake. If she even fell asleep.
"Go to sleep, Blake."
When she didn't hear any movement, she reluctantly opened one eye and turned to the source of the sound. Octavia was perched on a rock, watching Clarke with a slight smirk on her face.
"Seriously, Princess, you've got to relax. You look ready to spring into action, even when your eyes are closed."
Octavia hopped off her rock and started clearing rocks and sticks away from the space beside Clarke, even though her blanket would have been big enough for both of them.
"What are you doing?"
"Jasper was snoring and Monty was whimpering in his sleep. Besides, considering you never sleep anyway, I figured you were the safer bet as far as bunkmates go."
Clarke was propped up on one arm now, watching Octavia settle in.
"And you couldn't find a space on your own because..." She let her voice trail off, a hint of playfulness to it. But Octavia didn't laugh, as Clarke had expected her to. Octavia's face grew serious for a moment as she sat down in her newly cleared spot and Clarke realized what a stupid thing that was to say to someone who grew up seeing only two other people practically her entire life.
But almost as quickly as the cloud descended on her face it lifted again, and Octavia smiled at Clarke and said, "Well, the panthers ARE friendlier than you."
Clarke rolled her eyes and lay back again, looking up at the stars while Octavia stretched out beside her.
"It's crazy, isn't it?" Octavia said, "That we spent our whole lives before now up there?"
"Even when I used to dream about Earth, it was never like this. I guess I always imagined what it would look like, but never imagined what it would be like. I never imagined..." Clarke's voice caught in her throat so she stopped mid-sentence; she couldn't cry, not now. And not in front of Octavia.
"Never imagined you'd be camping in the woods with someone who lived under the floor, ready to fight for your lives at any moment?"
Clarke surprised even herself by letting out a short laugh. "Exactly."
Octavia rolled on her side to face Clarke. "Do you ever just let it all go? Forget about the people we left behind on the Ark, forget about the Grounders, Mount Weather...just, all of it?"
Clarke closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "How could I?"
"Not even when you're...with...someone..."
Clarke's eyes shot open and she turned her head slightly, raising an eyebrow at Octavia. "What?"
"It's just...when I was with Lincoln, nothing else mattered. It was easy to...forget. But he's been gone for a few weeks now and...I dunno, I just feel like I've been on high alert ever since, like I can't relax."
"Octavia Blake, are you horny?"
Clarke couldn't help but laugh as Octavia's face got that determined little pout it was so prone to get. She rolled onto her back and crossed her arms. "Forget it."
Clarke reached out and gave Octavia a gentle shove, "I'm just teasing."
Octavia's arms stayed cross, but her brow unknitted.
"I guess I did forget, for a little while, with Finn. There's no one else at camp you would..." Clarke wasn't usually this shy about talking about sex. But as soon as she started asking the question, she almost started to picture Octavia having sex, and it made her blush. She was glad it was too dark for Octavia to be able to tell.
"Between being Bellamy's sister, dubbed a 'grounder pounder', and aligned with you, I'm not exactly fending off prospects."
"Sorry about that."
"There...is a way you could make it up to me." Octavia's voice had a new timber, different than anything Clarke had heard. It sent a chill down her spine...in a good way.
"I'm not having sex with you, O." It's a miracle Clarke's voice didn't catch when she said it, the way her heart was beating so hard it was nearly in her throat.
Octavia turned toward here again. "Come on, Princess. I know you're into girls, I had to listen to that redhead cry about you for like two hours one night when we were on cooking duty together."
"Yeah, no, I'm bi. That's not why I won't have sex with you."
"I know it's not because you're not attracted to me. I saw the way you looked at me the first day we were on the ground, when I went swimming."
"Before you got bitten by the river monster." At this point, Clarke was just desperately trying to change the subject. She was dangerously close to agreeing to this.
"Then why?"
"For one, you're Bellamy's sister. He would murder me if he found out."
"Fuck Bellamy. He'll get over it. He's not the boss of me, not anymore."
Clarke chuckled.
"This is about me. And you. And how we can...help each other." Octavia ran her hand down Clarke's arm. Gently. Slowly. Purposefully. Her voice lowered so it was barely above a whisper. "Being a leader can be lonely, Clarke. But you don't have to be alone." Octavia's hand stilled in Clarke's, their fingertips touching. Clarke paused for a moment, then laced her fingers in Octavia's.
All of a sudden, Clarke rolled over and straddled Octavia, causing her to laugh with surprise. Clarke leaned in close to Octavia's face, their noses almost touching. In a voice that was somewhere between a growl and a purr, Clarke said, "All right, Grounder Pounder, but I'm on top."
Octavia surprised Clarke right back by flipping them both over, pinning both of Clarke's hands to the ground over her head. "In your dreams, Princess."
Their lips met and suddenly everything fell away. All of Clarke's buzzing thoughts disappeared and the only thing on her mind was how soft Octavia's lips were, and all the points their bodies met; from their hands, still interlocked just above Clarke's head, to where their hips met.
As soon as Octavia released one of Clarke's hands, she reached straight for the dark brown hair that had been tickling her shoulder, teasing her. She pushed it back, gently grabbing it at the base of Octavia's neck, and was surprised by how soft it felt. It wasn't until that moment that she realized she had imagined running her hands through this hair before. Octavia's free hand traveled lower, finding the bottom of Clarke's shirt and sliding underneath without breaking the momentum of their kissing. As Octavia's hand slowly traced up Clarke's skin, Clarke's hips instinctively bucked upward, longing for more contact. Clarke felt Octavia smile against her lips before sitting back, releasing Clarke's other hand, and grabbing the bottom of Clarke's shirt with both hands. Clarke sat up and let Octavia pull her shirt over her head, suddenly grateful for the warm night.
When Clarke thought back on it later, she wouldn't remember exactly how they both ended up naked, but she would remember the exact moment Octavia put her hands between her legs. It felt like being shocked with electricity, her whole body suddenly firing on all cylinders, every nerve on high alert. The next kiss Octavia placed on her neck sent a wave of pleasure coursing down her body, and not too longer after, Octavia's fingers sent it right back up again. Her back arched and it took every ounce of energy to keep from crying out.
Clarke's breathing took a moment to slow back down to normal; when it finally did, Clarke somehow found her voice. "Where'd you learn that?"
"I've had my fair share of...independent study."
"Well you're an excellent student."
"Shut up, Princess." There was that smirk again.
In response, Clarke flipped them back over, relishing the way Octavia grabbed her in surprise, and continued to hold on once Clarke was on top of her, pulling their bodies closer together. Clarke kissed Octavia's lips, kissed her neck, her collarbone. She kissed down the taut muscles of her stomach, the insides of her thighs. Clarke let her lips and tongue and fingers explore every inch of Octavia until her nails dug into Clarke's shoulder blades and her whole body shook with pleasure.
Clarke kissed her way back up the way she came, pressing a lingering kiss onto Octavia's lips before rolling onto her back. Once they both caught their breath, Octavia started getting dressed again, and Clarke followed suit. She expected Octavia to disappear as suddenly as she appeared, but once they were dressed, Octavia plopped herself back down on Clarke's blanket. Clarke laughed and lay down, looking up at the stars again. She put out her arm and Octavia fit herself in the crook like a puzzle piece, her head on Clarke's shoulder.
"See, Clarke?" Octavia whispered, all the edge in her voice gone for once. "It's nice not to be alone, isn't it?"
Clarke hummed in agreement. "Goodnight, Octavia." It wasn't long before she felt Octavia's body relax into her, her breathing becoming deep and slow. Octavia had been right, this is exactly what she had needed. Because for a little while, nothing else mattered, nothing else existed, no one else existed. Almost as if they were floating in space. And for the first time since landing on the ground, Clarke slept; a dreamless, peaceful sleep.
