Authors Note: This is an AU family for Madge. Both her parents are died, and her mother did not become ill until near her death. Madge has a married brother and grandmother she lives will, so she did not have to go into the children's home after her parent's death. There will be an intimate moment in this chapter. It will be marked by **. You don't have to read that part. I don't intended to make it a common theme throughout the story, but it does set the stage for what's to come next between Gale and Madge.
Don't Let Me Be Lonely
"When I'm gone, you'll need love to light the shadows on your face."
Staring out into the woods, high upon a hill top, I wish I could just disappear. Today I lost my friend to the soul crushing machine called the Hunger Games; food for fodder for a Capitol whose thirst for blood is never quenched. But I know I shouldn't be surprised by this turn of events. District twelve is a wasteland of death and despair. Everyone loses someone here; some people even lose everyone and everything. I'm no stranger to that curse.
Both my parents perished when their train derailed on the way to the capitol. A freak accident the authorities called it, but there were rumors from the start it had been a deliberate attack against the government. However, those rumors were quickly silenced like all talk of rebellion always is. Whatever the details, no answer would have been comforting. Either way, I became an orphan. The two people I loved most in the world were ripped away to that place no one ever returns from. No matter how hard you cry or how loud you scream for their return; the unbearable grief and emptiness is all that answers your call.
My fate would have been sealed, I would have been sent to be destroyed and die in the children's home if my brother had not taken over as my care taker. And some days I think the first fate would have been less cruel. My brother doesn't love me. In most ways I revolt him. Mirroring all the traits he saw as weakness in our parents. He only took over my care in order to receive the money that came with me from our parent remaining assets. Assets we would have split until he took control of it all.
You see, I come from the merchant class, more specially, I was the mayor's daughter. Which put me in better shape than the families fighting for their very existence in the Seam. We're by no means wealthy like people are in the Capitol, but we were a strong political family and my brother owns a shop. We have a roof over our head and food in our bellies. All of our basic needs met and on rare occasions, many of our wants too.
My father was district twelve's mayor until the day he died- a mouth piece for the Capitol, but one that really cared about the people. As my father once said, only the rich can afford to be blind to the pain of the lesser man. His work ethic was so unquestionable, the Capitol was even interested in his political potential. It was that interest and the promise of medical help for my mother that had my parents on the train that fateful night. It was those empty dreams that stole them away.
Having our needs met and personally understanding the suffering of the Hunger Games, my mother always reached out to other's who were struggling. My grandmother always thought she was trying to fill the void created by my aunt Maysilee's death in the games. But eventually the pain inside over took her and my mother spend her last year and a half of life bedridden. Alive but half dead with crippling headaches no one could find a cause for or fix. My mother's giving heart was a gift she bestowed within me. She always felt more at home with Haymitch, in the Hob than she ever did in town. My mother always said, it was important that we help one another, because once we lose our humanity, than there's nothing left worth fighting for in this world. I think my mother hated the Capitol as much as I do, but knew better than to speak it aloud.
After she passed, I spent my days hiding outside Haymitch's house in Victor's Village, wandering the Seam, where I could feel closest to her, and where people felt more real and authentic than the pretention that filled my home with my brother and his wife. At first my presence stood out like a sore thumb in the Seam.
My mother's wavy blonde hair, and deep evergreen eyes made me stick out in a sea of brunette's. But my mother had been loved by the people in the Seam and eventually they began to accept me too. Whether it was pity or genuine acceptance I'll never know, but I wasn't picky as long as they let me stay.
That's how I first ran into Katniss outside of school. I'd catch her eyes on me in the Hob talking with Greasy Sae or sharing my meager loaf of bread with children who had nothing, but hollow aching bellies. I caught her eyes on me while I huddled alone at school. Pulling away from my old world and everyone in it after my parents died.
She once had the unfortunate luck to be moving through the alley behind my house when a heated argument broke out between me and my brother. An argument that sent me lying in the dirt after he shamelessly struck my face in retribution. My eyes only caught hers briefly that time before she thankfully had the mercy to quickly disappear.
Maybe it was because we had both lost a parent we loved. Maybe it was because we both felt the world had abandoned us and we had to rely on ourselves to survive. Maybe it's because I share a likeness to her beloved sister Prim. Or maybe it was because I tried harder to belong in her world in the Seam, than I ever did my own in town. But whatever it was Katniss slowly began to let me in, and slowly she had helped me break free of the walls I had built around myself after my parent's death.
At first we were just silent companions at school, but then she slowly began to speak to me when she saw me at the Hob. Nothing substantial, but slowly our bond grew. Until one day, she was my friend, my only friend. She taught me about plants. She even tried to teach me about hunting, but my skills with a bow was uncoordinated at best.
We didn't share deep conversations. We didn't spill the heartache of our lives. She never trusted me the way I could see she trusted Gale. But she was my friend, my only friend, and the only bright spot after losing both my parents, besides my grandma. And I could tell in her quiet smile, I was hers too. But all of that was ripped away on the 74th annual reaping's for the Hunger Games.
I feel like I'm barely breathing as I stand in the woods. The air burns in my lung and strings as I exhale it free. I don't know what I would have done if the fences had been turned on. Perhaps I would have tried to just run through them away. I just knew I had to get away. I had to feel near her. Near the only real friend I have. The woods were the first thing to pop into my mind, her second home.
I stare out into the forest that appears endless in its expanse. The weight on my heart feels unbearable as tears run steadily down my face. I can't believe they took her. The only one of us worth saving. The only person who had made this place seem like some resemblance of home since my parents died.
Shuttered bursts of breath push forth past my trembling lips as the tears continue to flow. I thought coming out here would bring me solace, but it only leaves me feeling more alone and unsure if anything can quench the pain throbbing inside me at this point.
Then I hear it, a branch snaps just a few feet off. Quickly I wipe my eyes of all tears. Sniffling hard, I try to rope my emotions under control as my face quickly turns to see what or who has found me. Surely peacekeepers would mean imprisonment or worse on a day like today. Our eyes lock instantly. He stands frozen beside a tree, taking the sight of me in, silently brooding.
Tall, dark, and handsome, he makes my heart beat faster for a new reason. I've held a spark for Gale Hawthorne ever since he transformed into a man overnight. Most of the girls in the Seam do. As Katniss's friend, he knows me and I buy strawberries from him. Spends more time with me than I know he'd like. He resents me. Resents me for coming from the merchant class, for being the former Mayor's daughter, for living in town, and not in the Seam. Resents me for taking up some of Katniss's precious attention. Resents me for turning their twosome into a trio. And he's made it perfectly clear since day one. Gale Hawthorne tolerates me for Katiniss's sake, and I'm sure I'm the last person he wanted to find out in the woods on today of all days.
Our eyes hold as he seems to internally debate turning around and leaving on the spot. But for reasons I'll never know he decides to approach me instead. Like a predator on the prowl, he moves silently until he reaches my side, then halts.
Normally catching sight of Gale would bring a warming smile to my face, even if he never returns it. But today is different. Today he's just a sad reminder of what's missing, of what's been taken away, and I get the distinct feeling he feels the same about me.
My eyes break away, back across the grassy hill top, out past the trees that clustered on the mountains for as far as the eye can see. The feel of his presence beside me makes the ache in my heart swell once again. The afternoon events replay in my mind like a nightmare. The fear in Katniss's voice as she burst forth from the crowd to volunteer herself for the sake of Prim. The piercing scream of Prim's tender voice as Gale carried her away. The look of unbidden fear blinding in Katniss's eyes as she stood upon the stage. I had only gotten to see her for a moment after the ceremony; a moment that felt more like a swirl of emotions and promises than an actual event.
The memories surge and begin to strangle me as I finally turn back to Gale, overcome by emotion.
"She's gone." My voice breaks with each painful word as tears I can no longer hold in begin to cascade down my face.
Because I'm not just talking about here and now, but quite possibly for forever. In my heart, I know if anyone from distinct twelve can win, it's her, but I also know one against twenty-three others gunning to kill you are horrible odds. And the odds are never in our favor.
Before I even know what's happening, Gale takes me by surprise and pulls me into his arms, nestled against his strong warm chest, comforting me. He's never done anything like this before. He's never even touched me, but I also know I can't be the only one breaking right now. I know what Katniss means to Gale. It's impossible to not see.
I cling to him, my fingers digging into his sides as his strong arms wrap tightly around me, embracing me. I feel broken and lost as the tears continue to fall and absorb in his shirt. Taking a deep shuttered breath, his musky scent fills my lungs with a sense of comfort. I pull back just far enough to find his eyes, needing to feel a connection in a moment so alone. Towering over, just inches away, our eyes lock. And for the first time I can see how broken Gale looks.
The devastation twisting his strong handsome features, the pain bursting from his eyes with unbearable grief. Without thinking twice, my hand reaches up to tenderly touch his cheek, reaching out to him. Offering him the same comforting championship he's so freely giving me. Even though it contrasts every moment we've shared before this. Raw emotion has a way of pulling people together.
My touch seems to change something in him, seems to alter the moment in some indiscernible way. Right before my eyes, Gale's orbs take on a new depth, and practically swallow me in their grip.
**In a second, as air dances past my lips, before I can exhale it back out, his lips are falling onto mine. His kiss is tentative at first. But as my lips return the embrace, his mouth rapidly grows hungry and frantic. His hand grips my cheek, holding me securely within his reach as Gale kisses me with pure desperation. And in that moment, I know exactly what this is. Gale hasn't changed his feelings for me, or revealed something hidden he has harbored for me all along. Gale is breaking down under the weight of Katiniss being thrown to the wolves. And I'm his closest option for escape.
Logic would have screamed to pull away, but this escape against the pain feels as urgent in my veins as it does in his. And the sensual command of his mouth makes it effortless for me to want more. Our mouths hungrily open, seeking more as Gale's slick warm tongue slips inside my mouth and tangles with my own.
The whole world seems to slip away in this moment. Not just losing Katniss, or the agony of the reaping, but all of the misery of distinct twelve falls away as we frantically kiss each other for escape. The seduction between our lips heating up within my veins, masking everything in intoxicating pleasure.
I feel myself slowly falling backwards, and instinctively I cling tighter at Gale, trying not to fall, until I register the feel of his strong arm wrapped securely around my back. It's then I realize he's slowly lowering us to the grassy earth beneath our feet.
We come to rest in a tangled mess of limbs, the tall grass encircling us like a tent. His towering body blanketing me. Bigger than me in height and strength, his presence is practically all consuming. Gale's skilled hunting hands are surprisingly tender upon my face as he never lets up the supple dance between our lips.
Until suddenly, Gale breaks the kiss, leaving me breathless and panting on the ground. I'm dazed, my lips swollen, but begging for his return. My mind instantly shoots to life with insecurity. Has he realized what he's doing? Who he's doing it with? Is he going to run at any moment?
My eyes flutter open with confusion and trepidation until I realize Gale isn't leaving. He's up on his knees, between my legs, staring hungrily down upon me as his fingers hastily unbutton his shirt. His toned flesh and defined muscles make me instantly forget that I should be alarmed that his clothes are coming off.
His eyes look darker than I've ever seen them, yet keenly focused, and it sends a heat sweeping throughout my body. The look in Gale's eyes makes my heart race. No one has ever looked at me like that before, and yet, I know what he wants.
Following suit, never allowing my mind a minute to stop and think this one through, letting the seduction of his eyes guide my every movement, my trembling hands grab at the skirt of my dress, and start tugging it up past my knees. Gale's got his shirt undone and is making fast work of his belt and trousers. I hike my dress nearly up to my thighs before he's descending back down upon me.
Gale's skilled hand claims the outside of my thigh in his decent. Gripping it, he swiftly pulls it flush against his hip as his hips push against me. The motion sends my mind spinning and an involuntary noise I've never heard myself make come whimpering past my lips. I'm not sure what it means, but the smirk on Gale's lips reveals he likes the sound of it.
Gale's hand glides teasingly up the remainder of my bare thigh, taking my dress with him until his fingers loop under the fabric of my panties. My heart beat picks up with apprehension, but before I can think on it Gale's lips crash back into my own.
I've never done anything like this before. I've only been kissed a few times. The first time in a fleeting awkward moment. Stemming more from pity and a twisted sense of understanding than desire. I don't know much about Gale's experience, but I know he's had girlfriends. I've heard the rumors about the slagheap just like everyone else. And I can tell by the fluid motion of his hands, and the passion of his kiss, he's done this before.
The feel of Gale's hands wandering over my figure coupled with the seduction of his juicy driven mouth makes my mind go blank in a way that's a relief after the torture of today. It makes me almost forget we've both lost someone we love so dearly. Gale's kisses feel like hot embers, setting me on fire in ways I didn't even know were possible. In ways I feel ill prepared to battle, to say no to him. So instead I give in to this sweet escape, wrap my hands around his neck and kiss him harder.
I can barely breathe by the time I feel Gale work my panties free. His hand glides up my inner thigh to my most sensitive place, but that's when the voice of reason begins to scream in my head. It's a voice that wages war against the one begging Gale not to stop, to keep going. My body is melting under Gale's touch, but my head is demanding I acknowledge what I'm doing, what I'm about to do, no matter how good it feels. Warn him, Stop this, this is a mistake, it screams. Rapidly my lips shoot to life.
"Gale… Gale…" There's a sense of urgency to my words as they slip out between kisses, but I'm so out of breath from the assault on my mouth and the touch of Gale's hand that my voice slips out in breathless sputters.
I grip the edges of Gale's shirt still clinging to his shoulders, trying to gain his attention, but I'm a little too late. A heavy grunt bursts past Gale's lips as he pushes swiftly inside me, his face falling into the crook of my neck. Pain rips through my body with the invasion. Sending a piercing cry hitching off my lips in response. My nails dig into his shoulders as warm tears go shooting down the sides of my face.
Instantly, Gale stops. His face slowly lifts from the nest in the curve of my neck. Gale hovers frozen over me, inside me. The first break he's taken from his frenzied state since his lips first touched mine. The first attempt he's made to come back to reality.
When I open my eyes, Gale's dark pair is waiting for me, inches above me. There's something close to alarm blinding in his eyes. His throat bobs as he swallows hard.
"I didn't know… I thought…" Gale breathlessly states, unable to finish his thoughts. Painfully aware he's just taken me somewhere I've never been before.
Gale's gaze is so heavy I can't breathe, I can't think, let alone speak. Reaching over, Gale tenderly wipes away the tears running down the sides of my face. A wounded look summoning in his eyes as the salty wetness melts into his fingers. Easily the kindest gesture he's shown me in the brief gestures of civility we've exchanged previously. We're much rather known for our brief sarcastic banter while bartering over strawberries.
Gale's eyes barrel down on mine and I can see it scares him to think he's hurting me. Gale may not like me, but he doesn't want to cause me pain either. Despite his distant demeanor, he's too kind underneath it all to be that selfish. And I know in that moment, whoever Gale has been with before, most of them haven't been first-timers. My inability to speak seems to only unnerve him further. The look in Gale's pupils somehow seems more broken than before by what we've done.
"We should stop." Gale's breath is husky in a low contemplative whisper as his hips begin to pull away from me.
For reasons too complex to be understood in the moment, my thighs clench tightly around Gale, holding him in place as my hands clutch tighter on his shoulders. The pain that's been drowning in Gale's eyes since he stumbled upon me now seems to be spreading, mixing with an overwhelming look of guilt as he stares don't upon me.
"Don't stop," My heavy breath practically pleads.
A frantic feeling surges through my heart. I can't let it end this way, not like this. Not after everything that's happened today. This can't be how my first time ends. It would be too much to bear; Losing Katniss and watching Gale walk away now after this.
Gale's still hovering just inches above me when I lean up on my elbows and capture his lips tenderly in my own. Saying don't go, I still need you, and I'm pretty sure you still need me. Even if it's just for right now, because I am still desperate to feel something other than the loss and emptiness echoing inside me and I know you are too.
Gale's mouth holds steady with reservation for a moment, before I feel his lips surrender, and finally brush mine back. Our lips take hold, trying to reignite the spark again. I had heard it would hurt. The gossiping girls had school had said as much. I had been prepared for that I thought, but Gale feels like more than my body can take.
So I focus on the tender need of Gale's kiss, let it melt me from the inside out as I try to relax. Trying to ease the pain that's slowly beginning to ebb away. Transforming into a slow burn from deep inside me.
When Gale finally dares to move, his hips rock slowly. A whimper I can't seem to suppress escapes past my lips into his mouth. Never missing a beat, Gale's lips still upon mine for a moment. His concern melting away any lingering trepidation about what we're doing. Even though I know he's not doing this because his feelings for me have changed. I can't find myself wanting to stop. Not only have I wanted Gale to see me, really see me, for years, but this is the first escape I've felt since the reaping's this afternoon.
Biting down on his lower lip, Gale lets out a growl and gives in right away. Knowing together we can find what he needs; Freedom from everything suffocating him in this world right now. Too desperate people finding escape in one another.
Slowly our bodies discover a rhythm the way our mouths did when we first started to kiss. My whimpers transform into hot breathy murmurs with the feel of Gale's strong lean body all around me, his rough hands holding me close. The pain gives way to a growing heat. A fire really, that starts in my core and grows with each intoxicating thrust of his hips, every touch of his lips. Sending the flames spreading throughout my body. Slowly that frantic feeling that first ignited the fire between us begins to blaze once again.
Our mouths grow greedy and more urgent as the pressure between us edges toward a tortuous peak. I can feel Gale's hands grope at any piece of flesh he can find while digging around under my dress. The tension building inside me sends my back arching up against Gale's firm body begging for more. My head digs deeper into the dirt beneath the grass as Gale devours my neck with moist nibbles and hot kisses that have his tongue dancing across my flesh. Inexperienced, I follow Gale's lead. Letting him wrap my legs around his hips as I tilt my hips upward to meet his every movement. Creating a friction that threatens to unravel me.
I know Gale's lost in what we're building as breathless grunts begin to spill past his swollen lips onto my sensitive skin. Slipping under his open shirt, my hand clutches at the muscles flexing on his back, as the other buries deep in his thick dark locks. I don't know if Gale's thinking of me. But a quiet voice deep inside warns me, I probably could've be anyone right now, he's so broken over losing Katniss. He just needs someone, anyone. I just happened to be the girl he stumbled upon first. And perhaps it's even Katniss herself he see's laying beneath him.
But I don't have much time for dwelling on heart crushing thoughts as all the sensations in my body converge and take over. I feel like I'm seconds away from combusting into a million tiny pieces. It's a feeling I've never felt before. Indescribable, but undeniable and all encompassing, an intense pleasure deep inside me that seems to amplify every time Gale moves. His hips, his lips, his hands, and it leaves me begging for more. I know Gale feels it too as our bodies seem to fall insync and pick up their pace. Despite most of our clothes still loosely hanging on, our bodies glisten with beads of sweat beneath the fabric.
Our kiss has ceased as our foreheads rest together, breathing each other's panting breath, lost in the fire burning between our bodies. Gale's body quickens suddenly, his panting breath hits my face harder, as he seems to battle an invisible army within him. An army I can only imagine is made up of peacekeepers, and the Capitol who stole Katniss away from him. And in this way, my body is the only way Gale can fight back. Just when I feel my body hit the edge of an edge abyss where I can fall over the edge and drown in an ocean of ecstasy, a blunt curse grunts out of Gale's mouth.
"Shit." His whole body grows rigid, his breathing erratic, then Gale collapses on me in a sweaty panting mess.**
My eyes shoot open; I take in the deep greens of the tree tops swaying above me as I struggle to get my panting breath back to its regular pace. I try to become reacquainted with the world around me as the intense pleasure I felt just seconds ago slowly slips away. Never reaching its full potential.
Gale only lingers on me for a few moments before rolling off and landing on his back beside me in a heap. All I can hear is our panting breaths. I suddenly become aware of how exposed I am and self-consciously tug my dress down from my belly.
The moment feels awkward as reality begins to settles back in. Gale doesn't say a word. He doesn't have to say it, the way he won't look over at me screams of regret. I know I should have seen this coming, but I didn't look that far ahead and now all I have left is a hollowness under my skin. I don't feel better about the reaping. I don't feel better about losing Katniss. I only feel worse and more alone than ever.
Gale won't look at me, so I don't dare look at him. But out of my peripherals I can see he's tugging his trousers back on his hips. Taking his unspoken cue, my face turns from side to side until I spot my panties within arm's reach. I manage to slip them on despite the trembling inside me.
Finally glancing over at Gale, I find only his shoes where his body once laid. My eyes glance up, searching on forever to find his face that still won't bother to look at me back.
"We should head back." He speaks flatly. Detached, in that same distant manner he usually addresses me in. His dark brooding eyes, gazing out into the trees as if anything was more important to look at then me. As if gazing upon me now was just too hard.
Emotion burst in my chest and I have to bite down hard on my lower lip to stop the tears stinging in my eyes from falling. I feel less than cheap. I feel practically worthless, but I refuse to let him see that. Finding my footing, I slowly rise on unsteady feet. And instantly my body fails me. My muscles are trembling and weak, my body frail and shaky from exertion. My body sways, and just when I think my legs are going to give out on me, and make a complete fool out of myself, I feel Gale's hands take hold of my waist.
Steadying me, his breath feels hot against the back of my neck and ear. "Easy there, Undersee" He instructs and I could have sworn I heard a touch of concern cloud his breath.
I take a deep breath in, and let Gale stabilize me as I wait to regain stability in my legs. Then he takes me further by surprise, as his hand begin to sweep down the back of my dress and pluck at the back of my hair. "Just a little grass and dirt. You're hair's pretty messed up though. You might just want to let it down." He explains with an audible hint of gentleness.
That's when I remember we're still in our reaping clothes, our finest clothes. My brother's wife Marigold had purposefully bought me this stupid dress just for the reaping's. I'll surely have to pay for rolling in the grass with Gale in it, but somehow that feels like the least of my problems. And I can only imagine what my pinned up bun must look like now. Taking his instruction, I reach behind my head and pull a few bobby-pins from my hair. Letting my wavy golden locks cascade down my back. I hear Gale let out a heavy breath in response, but I don't know him well enough to discern what it means. And I'm too overcome by my own doubts to give it further thought.
Still holding me steady, Gale moves to the side of me. One hand drops free of my waist before I quickly feel his thumb and forefinger grasps my chin. Gently he lifts my face and finally our eyes meet. For a moment I see the boy I adore; The one who has a smile for Katniss that could eclipse the sun; The one who's playful and fiercely protective with his little brothers and sister; The one who isn't ashamed to still care what his mom thinks.
"You ok?" He questions me with genuine tenderness and concern in his eyes.
My heart stings; No, I'm not ok. I just did the stupidest thing I've ever done. And despite you're kindness for me now, I know you're feelings for me haven't changed. I've lost my best friend and made a fool out of myself to the only boy I've ever liked, all in one afternoon. So no, I'm not ok.
"Yeah," I lie, my lips pursing tightly closed to hold back the truth. I can see in his eyes he doesn't believe me before my gaze falls from his.
Gale doesn't press it, like I knew he wouldn't. His hand lets go of my face and I think he's going to pull away entirely, but his other hand slips to my lower back. His hand spreads wide as his palm comes to rest on the curve of my spine.
"Come on," He beckons, taking the first step. His hold on me taking me with him.
When we get back across the fence we part ways. I can't help, but look back at him as I head back to town and he moves within the Seam. But he never does.
As I make my way into town, I keep my head low. Despite what people of the Seam might think of the township, it really isn't all that much better. The quality of life is slightly improved, but everything is still bleak here. We live and breathe and die here, no one ever gets out. No one ever carves out a better life. The Seam is death and despair, but the town is a stagnant pond of empty dreams just waiting to suck the life out of the next generation.
I feel more alone than I've felt since the day my parents died. I want to blend into the buildings and melt into their walls. Fortunately for me, everyone seems lost in their own world. Glad they had escaped another year of reaping's, or mourning the loss of someone they knew taken away too young.
I reach the front of my brother's store and slip around back to the main entrance of my house. My home is hidden in the back half and upper floor of my brother's watch shop. It's the last place I want to be right now. In many ways it feels more like a prison than it does a home, but I have nowhere else to go.
I sneak in the door as quiet as I can. Hoping to go unnoticed. Hoping to dive into my bed, cry and sleep until this day feels like nothing more than a bad dream. And I almost make it until the voice of my brother's wife Marigold, hits my back.
"What happened to your dress?" The tone in her voice makes it clear she's displeased and judging, but not surprised I've managed to ruin my new dress.
Objects are always more important than people to my brother and his wife. A trait my brother didn't inherit from either of my parents. Perhaps it was Capitol envy, but whatever the source he lived his life by it all the same.
I ruined it out in the woods, beyond the district fence, where we're not allowed to cross. My dress is smeared with dirt and grass stains, because I let Gale Hawthorne take a piece of me. The only piece of me you think has any worth when you to try to sell me off for marriage in a year and half. You know, that boy from the Seam you think is lower than trash. The one who sells strawberries at our backdoor. My mind silently taunts her.
"I slipped and fell." I easily lie, never looking her way. I try to pretend she isn't there, because she's the last person I want to face right now. The last person I trust when my heart is already broken.
And I know my brother must be close at hand too, waiting to pounce. He lacks any real emotion or loyalty and he always has. The most selfish person I know, next to his wife. And I know it gives them both some sick pleasure out of trying to breaking my spirit. To rip the kindness from my soul and make me as ugly inside as they are.
"Where have you been?" My brother's voice is stern and accusing as it picks up. The sound of his shoes moving against the wooden floor tells me he's moving closer.
Choosing to ignore them, and taking a slight ounce of pleasure in knowing it only infuriates them both when I do. I shrug my shoulders and move through the kitchen, toward the narrow staircase in the back.
"I went for a walk after the ceremony." I state flatly.
I know I'm riling him up when his tone turns colder than usual and he begins to lash out, trying to wound me with his words.
"Upset over the tributes? Had a crush on our neighbor, the baker's boy? Or perhaps, that girl was one of your filthy Seam friends." I know his words are meant to hurt me, and it only riles me up more that they do.
"Who I care about is none of your business." I spit out.
My words more full of fight than I even intended. Knowing I probably crossed the line. The line of respect and obedience he demands of me while I live under this roof. I quickly move up the first few stairs trying to escape before things turn ugly.
But he catches me first. Latching onto my upper arm, he grips me with all his strength. A grip so tight I know it'll leave a bruise some time later tonight. He yanks me back down the steps until I'm flush against him. A try to resist, my attempts are futile, and appear only weak compared to his strength.
"Watch your mouth with me, Madge. I'm the only reason you don't live in the Seam or the children's home. I'm the only reason you're alive. You'd never make it out there." He hisses into my ear, his fingers digging deeper into my arm with a warning… Obey.
I want to turn around and shove him with all my might. I want to scream at him the only reason he takes care of me is, because he wants to squander what little money mom and dad left for me. I want to break one of the ornate plates, his wife spent frivolous amounts of money on, and remind him all of this use to be ours until mom and dad died. But I don't, because I know it won't change anything. And I'll only pay for it worse in the end.
Holding back my anger, I muster my strength and yank my arm from his grasp. Never looking back, never giving him the satisfaction of knowing he's gotten to me, I climbs the stairs to my room, and lock the door behind me.
"When you're young, you can fly, but we trip on clouds 'cause we get too high."
Author's note: I revised this chapter 4/11
Some of you might be thinking you read this exact piece to a different story. And if you're thinking that, you did. I'm trying something out. I originally wrote this as a story for an OC, but the further I got into it I began to see I was writing AU version of Madge. So I'm letting the readers decide whether they like it better as Madge or an OC. So if you like this, please review and let me know. Feedback is strongly encouraged. What do you think of Madge's AU circumstances and family? Rest assured Gale does rapidly warm up as the story goes on. This was just a starting point to evolve from with them. How did you feel about Gale and Madge sleeping together? Do their intentions make sense? Are you interested in reading more?
