AN: Edited by the sage prettyinpinkgal.

This was supposed to be a short, concise interlude. Instead, it became one of the lengthiest things I've ever written. God, I don't even know. It just... happened. I blame Onodera for it.

Also, the price of ramen was ganked from "The World Ends With You" (which is an awesome game that you should play, if you haven't already). It's important that you know this, so that you don't get your hopes up for an accurate portrayal of Japanese society from me.


Tension

Something was amiss in the Aoki-Kitajima household. Rei felt this keenly when Maya stumbled down to breakfast, her eyes wide and filled with terror.

"Whoa, Maya!" Rei exclaimed, immediately supplying Maya with toast and tea as she collapsed by the dinner table. "What's wrong? You're white as a sheet."

"I... I had a nightmare..." Maya stopped, frowning, then corrected herself in a voice so low and indistinct Rei nearly had to put her ear next to her mouth to hear it, "No, not nightmare, not really... I was fine with it in the dream, but when I woke up, it... it became disturbing..."

Red tinted Maya's pale cheeks, and overcome with either despair or embarrassment (possibly both), she buried her face in her hand. Rei put her arm around her shoulders, patiently waiting until Maya was collected enough to talk again:

"It's... it's so silly, so absurd, I don't know whether to take it seriously or not!"

"Well, you could tell me about the dream, and I could decide for you. How about that?"

Maya peeked at Rei through her fingers, murmuring, "I don't know... it's really weird... You might be better off not knowing..."

"A trouble shared is a trouble halved," Rei said, smiling encouragingly at Maya. "Come on, Maya, I'm dying of curiosity."

Maya seemed to be thinking it over, slowly letting her hands drop down into her lap.

"Promise you won't laugh," Maya said, her voice unusually commanding.

"I swear on my ancestors' graves," Rei said solemnly, her hand on her heart, knowing that her friend enjoyed it when she playacted.

The corners of Maya's lips twitched upwards, showing a smile so faint and brief, Rei couldn't be sure whether she'd really seen it.

"Alright," Maya said, taking a deep breath, "um, here goes... I... I had a dream that was rather... um... p-personal..."

"Personal? How do you mean?"

"I mean that... that it was... intimate..."

That last word, whispering by a profusely blushing Maya, told Rei all she needed to know. As a result, Rei began to colour as well, feeling like a mother telling her daughter about the birds and the bees as she said:

"W-well, that's perfectly natural! Nothing weird about it at all! Everyone has them! You really don't need to worry about it!"

"I do know that," Maya said, a bit offended that she was being treated like a clueless kid. "The problem isn't that I had an intimate dream, it's about who else was... in it..."

"O-oh." While curiosity begged Rei to wheedle an answer out of Maya about who she'd "been" with, she decided to at least be tactful about it; "So, do you want to tell me anything more about it?"

Maya nodded, though it took her quite a while to muster up the courage to divulge any other information. Rei used that time to figure out all the possible suspects, and came up rather short. Maya didn't know many men, and Rei didn't think it very likely that the dream had involved a woman.

Could it have been Sakurakouji? she thought. That might account for her freaking out about it. Somewhat ex-boyfriend suddenly popping up in your dreams, doing all sorts of illicit things… But she hasn't seen him in a while, has she?

"It… it was M-M-M-MasumiHayami."

Rei had been so deep in her own thoughts, it took her a while to absorb and react to Maya's confession. When she did, her eyes opened wide, turning to inspect Maya with utmost incredulity.

"Please, don't stare at me like that!" Maya pleaded, once again hiding her face in her hands. "I know, it's weird, isn't it, and a bit disgusting as well, but that's just what my twisted mind thought up! I don't know what it means! Please, Rei, can you help me understand it? Why would I dream something like that? I do dislike him, I mean, why shouldn't I, and yet I dreamt of something, something like that!""

Rei bought herself some more time to think about what to say by taking a huge bite out of her toast. She'd anticipated this happening—well, not this exact situation, that would've just been morbid—that Maya would start to wonder about the nature about her relationship with Hayami, ever since that damn dinner at "Panna".

A few weeks ago, Hayami had happened upon Maya on his way to dine with Utako Himekawa and Michie Matsuyama. Using his wily, charismatic ways, he'd managed to convince Maya to come with him, as Utako and Michie would appreciate her company, thus raising Hayami's own standing with them for bringing her. Despite it being in his best interest to treat her civilly, he'd proceeded to infuriate her to the degree that when she got home, Maya, usually calm and unnaturally good-natured, had to scream into a pillow to relieve her rage. Yet when she told them of the evening, recounting his various, eccentric misdeeds towards her, there were times when she'd smiled at remembering his behaviour.

As though that hadn't been bad enough (but rather entertaining, nonetheless), Hayami had to show up at one of their practices, save their performance and whisk Maya away onto a rowboat. To those unfamiliar to the Hayami way of thinking, this would've appeared to be a date, but Rei was convinced that he'd merely done it to be able to talk to her apart from her friends. All Maya had been willing to divulge about their conversation was that it had to do with "The Crimson Goddess" (and, weirdly enough, her grades). Rei knew there was something more to it, as the tête-à-tête had been distracting enough to make Maya forget about retuning the tie Hayami had given her as a security. This would've seemed a ridiculous enough business deal, even if one didn't know about the fact that the tie served as a security to a loan of 100 yen. The tie had just been an excuse for Hayami to keep an eye on Maya, without her being able to complain about it, which was probably why Hayami, infinitely more structured than the actress, had refrained from remembering to repay his debt.

Despite Maya's adamant distrust and dislike of the vice-president, she was easily influenced, and Hayami, commanding and self-assured, probably (Rei was loath to admit) fascinated her. The fact that he was far from hard to look at, and had a penchant to invade her personal space, was no doubt a great part in why she had dreamt of him.

Of course, Rei couldn't tell Maya that. Maya, already so unstable you could knock her over with a feather, would never recover from hearing her best friend tell her that she was attracted to her archenemy. To spare Maya's feelings, and to spare herself from unnecessary trauma, Rei took a clinical view of the matter:

"Dreams are just abstract strings of thoughts. They mean absolutely nothing. You can't always control them, and sometimes, cluttering information, such as Hayami, just pops up at the most inappropriate moments. Your brain simply wanted you to process him, so that you didn't bother it with thinking about him during the day, only it messed up with putting him into a proper context. That's all."

Maya pondered this new theory for ten seconds before accepting it wholeheartedly. For once, Maya's impressionable nature worked in her favour.

"Thanks, Rei!" she said, giving her friend a hug. "Phew! I seriously thought this was going to haunt me forever."

With that, she dug into her breakfast with unusual appetite, as though a great, exhausting weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

Thank god for simple-mindedness, Rei thought, breathing out a subtle sigh of relief. Yet she remained uneasy, thinking, not for the first time, about Hayami's strange interest in Maya.

Rei had felt, ever since "The Miracle Girl", that Hayami saw Maya as something more than a possible investment. He would goad her, tease her, yell at her, but no matter what his tactics were, his goal always seemed to be the same: to improve Maya's chances of surviving in the entertainment world. He got results, too; Maya's uncertainties disappeared completely when faced with him, and his jeers inflamed her rarely utilized competitive spirit. Why he would care whether Maya got ahead or not, Rei couldn't say, but she had the feeling that Maya appealed to his sense of humour. Whatever his reasons were, Rei felt, though she still resented him for his part in the decline of Tsukikage Theatre, that she could occasionally entrust Maya to his care. Something in the way he spoke to her friend, giving her his full attention no matter the situation, told Rei that he had no desire to ruin Maya's career.

Beyond driving her to further her reach as an actress out of spite, how much influence did Hayami truly have over Maya? She frequently cursed his name, his birth, his company and whatever else she could think of at the time, but as of late, she'd begun to laugh while raving about his many vices. While she seemed completely unfriendly towards the vice-president, Rei suspected that she secretly admired him for his social charisma and effortless authority, two character traits Maya wanted for herself but had no idea how to attain.

It riled Rei that a man as enigmatic and unpredictable as Hayami held such sway over Maya. He never showed his hand, and his behaviour was so erratic and ambiguous that nothing could be deduced from it. He might care for Maya, but did he care enough to leave her be if Daito wanted her gone? Was he aware of how much influence he exercised over Maya, and if he did know, would he abuse it for his own gain?

Maya's right: he is annoying, Rei thought, frowning as she finished the last of her toast. He's far from harmless, yet he's helping Maya rather than hindering her, and all while acting like a jerk, too. What's his deal? He obviously doesn't feel he needs to be on her good side, so he can't be doing it for Daito, and if it's just some personal whim, what made him take an interest in Maya? He's no problem playing the bully towards her, so I doubt he's doing it out of any particularly fair feelings… What reason could he possibly have? Maya despises him, and makes no secret of it. Why should he help her, when he knows that he'll never get any recognition from her as, half of the time, she doesn't even realize his intentions?

But it wasn't Hayami's elusive motives for selflessness that worried her the most; it was Maya's recent change in attitude towards the vice-president that disconcerted her. Rei was ashamed over even thinking about it, but she was certain that Maya was reluctantly attracted to Hayami. While she'd been guarded from exploring these feelings thanks to the fact that Hayami had virtually ruined her life on two separate occasions, if she thought that he truly regretted his actions, she might feel compelled to forgive him. An unlikely scenario, as Hayami wasn't exactly the remorseful type, but should it come to pass, who knew how Maya would come to view her former antagonist?

Feeling more like a worried parent than ever, Rei tried to rationalize her fears, but to no avail. She knew Maya would never seek out Hayami's company so long as she thought he was the same man who kept her mother from her just to get publicity, but Hayami was a very persuasive, manipulative man. If he wanted to, he could probably trick her into thinking that he was Purple Rose, absurd though the idea may be.

If only I could talk to him about it… but maybe that would just give him ideas? How do you get the vice-president of a multi-million corporation alone, anyway? I should just let it go for now. There's hardly any danger right now, and it might all turn out to be a result of my overactive imagination. I'd rather avoid embarrassing myself and Maya, unless it's absolutely necessary.

Satisfied with this plan, Rei was able to enjoy the rest of the breakfast, blissfully unaware that she'd be forced to act it out before the end of the day.

OXOXO

Whenever Maya felt the need for private meditation, she was always drawn to large bodies of water. So when rehearsal ended that afternoon, Maya snuck off to the lake, calculating that she'd probably have at least twenty minutes to herself before anyone would think to look for her. She found a secluded, low dock that was perfect for her purpose, and walked out as far as she could, water nearly lapping at her toes. She took a few deep breaths, taking in the peaceful scenery before she attempted to sort through the mess that was her mind.

The cause of her mental disturbance was, for once, not related to the stage or "The Crimson Goddess". The name of her woes was Masumi Hayami, ruthless workhorse and interfering bastard extraordinaire. Then there was Masumi Hayami, schoolyard bully and pro bono theatrical consultant, Masumi Hayami, philosophiser and outdoorsman, and so on, and so forth.

If history had taught her anything, it was that Masumi wasn't to be trusted, as every good deed he performed came with a hidden motive. Yet recent developments, such as a dinner at high priced restaurants and a spontaneous rowboat excursion, had clouded Maya's judgement. She no longer knew whether she should see Masumi as the personification of pure evil or merely as an annoying nuisance. He had so many different personas, and he performed them all with such skill that it was impossible to tell when he was in earnest and when he was pretending. Had he chosen to become an actor, Maya had no doubt that he would've been among the elite.

Frankly, she'd be happy to leave it up to the top psychiatrists in the country to sort Masumi out, but as said man kept haunting her with talk of ties, she had no choice but to figure out his angle herself. Her dream had been a wakeup call; she couldn't let him boss her around anymore, or she'd end up forgetting the fact that she loathed him with a passion. It was essential that she saw through his scheme in time, and to do that, she needed to be vigilant, calm and in control. While a solid enough plan in theory, there was a slight hitch to it: she couldn't be vigilant, calm and in control if she kept thinking about that damn dream.

It meant nothing, she told herself sternly, closing her eyes to better block out the memory. It's just like Rei said: my brain wanted to work Hayami out of its system, but simply choose the wrong time to do it. It doesn't matter that it felt very comforting, or that it was so vivid that you felt a bit disoriented when you woke up, because it means nothing whatsoever. You don't like him, you're not attracted to him, he's not kind, and most importantly, he means nothing to you. I repeat, you're not attract—

"Hey, shorty!"

Despite her resolution to remain icy and suave in the vice-president's presence, Maya spun around at the sound of his voice, her heart leaping to her throat. Masumi was looking down at her from the road, detestably ignorant of the anguish he'd caused Maya. His shirt was casually buttoned and his sleeves rolled up, his suit jacket slung over his shoulder in a truly stylish fashion. Never before had an open collar had such a devastating effect on Maya.

She knew that she should say something, but before she could decide on a proper greeting (such as "What the hell are you doing here?"), Masumi spoke again:

"We meet yet again under unexpected circumstances. Why is it that whenever I decide to take a walk, you pop up? You're not stalking me, are you?"

Normally, Maya would reply to that in this fashion: "I should ask the same of you!". As it was, all she could muster up was: "N-n-no...".

Masumi raised an eyebrow, a little disappointed by the spiritless comeback.

"Is something wrong?" He began to walk down the steps leading to the dock, to Maya's horror. "You look pale."

Maya, in her frazzled state, could think of only one thing: Don't let him come any closer. The logical approach to this would be to back away from him, which was what Maya did.

Unfortunately, she'd forgotten her surroundings in her caution, and one step back was all that took to close the distance between her and the lake. Too surprised to cry out, she gasped as she plunged into the waters.

There was a long moment of intense discomfort and confusion, pain blossoming in her sinuses and her throat as she inhaled a mouthful of water. Clumsily, she kicked herself up, coughing madly as she broke through the surface of the water, blindly reaching for the edge of the dock. Just as her fingers touched it, she felt two hands slide underneath her armpits and take an embarrassingly good grip on her ribs. Before she could react, she was lifted up in the air, her torso emerging from the lake. If she hadn't been busy coughing, she would've surely let out a squeak.

Masumi changed his hold on her, encircling her back with one arm and pulling her legs up onto the dock with the other. Maya, drained by shock and lack of oxygen, could do little else but to rest on Masumi's shoulder, feeling rather as though she fallen out of the ashes and into the fire. Masumi hardly improved the situation by stroking her back and murmuring what was generally thought of as comforting words. When he went so far as to brush her wet hair away from her face, she decided, even though she was still nauseous, that enough was enough.

"Mrm!" she said, pushing weakly at Masumi. He obeyed her wordless request, edging back as he helped her up onto her knees.

She tried to glare at him, but her eyes refused to focus properly.

"W-why…" Maya had to break off, her cough returning with a vengeance.

"Easy, shorty," Masumi said, his hand reaching out steady her again.

Out of fear and instinct, Maya slapped his hand away, and almost immediately wished she hadn't. His expression at her unexpected rejection made her go cold with shame; he had, after all, done his very best to help. But she refused to apologise, and spoke roughly when her hacking cough had died down:

"Why are you here?"

"Apparently," Masumi said, an annoyed crease appearing on his brow, "I'm here to rescue you from drowning and receive ingratitude in return."

"I wouldn't have drowned!" Maya protested. "A-and you're the one who startled me into tripping in the first place!"

"As I recall," Masumi said, his tone so frigid it sent a shiver down Maya's spine, "I was well into my sixth sentence when you saw fit to fall into the lake. It's shameful to blame one's clumsiness on other people."

Maya hung her head, her hand trembling slightly as she hooked a tendril of hair behind her ear. It'd been such a long time since she'd seen him mad, she'd forgotten how intimidating he could be.

"S-sorry," she mumbled to her lap. "And… and thank you for helping me."

She glanced up, and was taken aback to see that Masumi was smiling quite contently.

"That must've been very hard for you, shorty," he said, his voice without any trace of its former anger. "Well done. I accept your tepid apology, knowing that it's simply in your nature to be rude and clumsy."

Maya's eye twitched at that, but she still ground out: "Thank you for being so gracious. Please, could you tell me why I have the pleasure of receiving your company at such an unexpected time?"

Masumi didn't answer her straight away. He adjusted his position, then made a sweeping gesture over his body, making Maya notice that he was soaked where he'd leaned her against him.

"You've seen me often enough in my respectable businessman ensemble to know it by heart," he said. "Tell me: what's missing?"

"Um... Your jacket?"

"Good guess, but my jacket is actually on the ground over there. I had to discard it in a truly heroic fashion to come to your aid."

Maya frowned; she wasn't quite feeling up to playing this game, especially as it involved ogling at Masumi, but she'd be damned if she'd give him the satisfaction of seeing her give up.

"It's quite alright," Masumi said, leaning back onto his arms, posing inappropriately. "Take all the time you need."

Maya barely managed to repress a growl at that, when the motion of Masumi's collarbone drew her attention to his open collar. With an "Aha!", the puzzle fell into place for her.

"You're here about your tie!" she cried, making an inappropriately triumphant gesture over her discovery.

"Indeed I am. You've got skills of deduction to rival Kogoro Akechi."

"You know, you could've just told me, 'I'm here to get my tie back'."

"I could've. But I'm feeling particularly in shape today, so I wanted to show it off to someone."

Before Maya had time to absorb that information, Masumi got up onto his feet, reaching out a hand for her.

"It doesn't bite," Masumi said, seeing Maya's doubtful stare. "It hardly ever pinches, either. I just thought you might want some help getting up, soaked to the bone as you are."

With a mumbled "Thanks", Maya put her hand in his and allowed him to help her up. She winced as her shoes gave a "squish!", and before she did anything else, she stripped her feet of both footwear and socks. Masumi said nothing, but smiled as he bent down to retrieve his jacket.

"Do you have any clothes to change into, shorty?"

"Ah, yes," Maya said, tucking her shoes under her arm, wringing out as much water as she could from her clothes. "These are just my rehearsal clothes."

"Good. You're not carrying any water damaged valuables, are you?"

"No, my purse is at the outdoor theatre. Um... Y-you're rather wet yourself. Are you... um... you're not cold or anything?"

At her concern, Masumi glanced down at himself, as if he hadn't notice his sodden state before.

"I wouldn't say that I'm wet," he said, "so much as I'd say I'm moist. There's still a little bit of sun left. It'll dry in no time. You, however," he looked her over, his gaze full of pity (and a little bit of amusement), "are far beyond such measures. Maybe we should hurry to the theatre, before you catch a chill."

Too soaked and miserable to deny his request on pure principle, Maya followed him up to the path, dripping fiercely despite her best effort to rid her clothes of excess water.

"I always end up as a laughingstock," she moaned, discouraged by the stares of the passer-bys. "Just because I'm distracted, um, most of the time..."

"Don't worry about it," Masumi said. "Absentmindedness is the sign of a creative character."

"You do know that you're the one who heckles me the most about it? Like, 'Shorty, there's nothing wrong with being stubborn, whimsical, clumsy, rude and short'?"

"You've got an excellent memory, at least. You shouldn't take everything I say to heart, even though I am an excellent orator whose words make a deep impression on you."

Your arrogance is impressive as well, Maya thought, but didn't repeat it out loud. She and Masumi were already too close for comfort, and arguments always drew them closer.

"Ah, shorty," Masumi said, shaking his head. "It saddens me that you would underestimate me so."

"What are you talking about? I didn't say anything."

"That's what saddens me. You should know by now that I'm thoroughly adept at the sacred art of mind reading, and see all that is hidden in your mind. Just a second ago, you thought something like 'Your arrogance is impressive as well', didn't you?"

Maya later revisited that moment, altering it to make her seem unfazed and cool in the face of his uncanny guess. The painful truth, though, was that her jaw had dropped, and she'd stuttered, in the least collected manner imaginable:

"W… H-how the hell did you know that?"

Masumi laughed with unrestrained mirth, basking in her amazed stare.

"My dear," he said, regretting his choice of nickname seconds afterwards, "your face is an open book that I can read at my leisure. It's how I stay a step (or seven) ahead of you. It's remarkable, how you're completely unable to act once you're off the stage."

"I'll do better to try and conceal my feelings in the future," Maya sniffed. Masumi's superiority in matters of business and psychology was one of her biggest sore spots, mostly because the man in question kept pushing at it.

"No need for such drastic, and impossible, measures. While being able to bluff and deceive can be a useful ability, being able to express one's true feelings without any restraint is a much more fulfilling quality. Or so I would imagine, anyway."

Why, thank you very much, Maya thought, pursing her lip. Why is it that I never know whether he's insulting or complimenting me? Or is he just making fun of me?

"True," Masumi said, once again intercepting her private thoughts, "I'm much too ambiguous at times. It's a side effect from deceiving others for such a long time. I'll give you a hint: if it sounds even the slightest bit like a compliment, then that's what it is."

"I didn't know you were so courteous," Maya said, and one didn't need Masumi's "mind reading" abilities to see that she didn't believe him.

"I've already told you: you bring out the best of me."

"This is your good side? How do you treat people who bring out the worst in you, then?"

"Well, my treatment of them generally involves a rain of hellfire. Would you prefer that?"

"Yes, I would. At least that's direct."

"Brave, aren't you? However, I'm sorry: I just can't summon up the old brimstone when you're looking at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like a young, sopping wet girl who's dangerously close to pouting. I think I could glare at you a little, if you'd like."

"No, thank you. You don't need to go out of your way for me."

"So she said, with a defiant hair flip! Now you've made me completely unable to harbour any ill will towards you whatsoever. No, you'll have to settle for being on my good side, horrendous and ambiguous though it may be."

She raised her chin to show how far above the conversation she was, inwardly cursing him to the grave and beyond. He always made her fall in pace with him, no matter the circumstances. Her plan was in tatters before she'd even been able to try to put it into motion, and all because she just had to be stupid enough to fall into the lake! Of all the setbacks she'd expected to suffer, that hadn't been one of them.

I was already at a disadvantage, she thought. Why did I have to freak out like that? Just because I started thinking about how he kissed my jaw in the dream OH MY GOD, why did I bring that up when he's RIGHT NEXT TO ME?

Maya did have a very good memory, when it came to things that interested her. That's why it vexed her that the dream was still so fresh in her mind, though she'd worked to suppress it into her subconscious. Perhaps she was just disappointed that such a superb fantasy, by far the best she'd ever had (limited though the selection was), had been ruined. She'd been able to feel his lips, his hands, his hair and his body so vividly, she'd woken up wondering where he was, crushed at the discovery that it hadn't been real before realizing the true gravity of the situation.

Stop it, stop it, stop it! This isn't the time and definitely not the place to think about it!

"Hey, shorty, if you're quite done ignoring me, perhaps you want to announce your presence to your friends?"

"Eh?" Maya returned to the immediate world, and found that she was right by the outdoor theatre. "Oh! I... I didn't notice..."

"Well, you were thinking about something highly embarrassing, so your departure from reality is easily excused."

She gaped at Masumi, suddenly irrationally afraid that he really could read her mind. But as he wasn't gaping back at her, red and horrified by the part he'd played in her dream, she could console herself with the fact that mind reading was beyond even his talents. His quizzical stare, however, flustered her into trying to explain herself (rather poorly):

"I... uh... I was just thinking a-about... f-falling into the lake... And how people were staring at me..."

Masumi tilted his head, clearly not impressed. "Really? Yet, when we passed a whole field trip group who pointed and laughed, you didn't bat an eyelid. Are you sure your thoughts didn't stray elsewhere?"

It was impossible for Maya to determine whether he was bluffing or not, as his expression of polite inquisitiveness was set in stone. Not a single muscle twitched, and his eyes never left hers. She didn't want to make him mad again, so she didn't dare tell him that it was none of his business, but she couldn't think of how she could convert the phrase "Leave me the hell alone" into a polite sentence.

She was saved from further awkwardness by a very welcome voice:

"Maya!"

Rei came running towards her, the rest of the troupe following her lead. Nearly laughing, Maya met them halfway, gladly letting herself be enveloped by the group.

"Maya," Rei repeated, giving her friend an astonished once-over, "what happened to you?"

"I, um, I fell into the lake," Maya said, grimacing a bit. "It's really stupid, I'd rather not talk about it..."

"I can't see why not. It's a very amusing story."

While Maya managed to stay still at Masumi's close and sudden proximity, it felt as though her internal organs had jumped with shock at his appearance.

"Ah, Mr Hayami!" Hotta said, bowing to the vice-president. "Good afternoon! Thank you once again for your helpful advice. You really saved us."

Grudgingly, the rest of Ikkakuju Theatre mimicked the action of their chief, while the members of Tsukikage Theatre were understandably cooler in their greetings.

"It was nothing," Masumi said. "I just helped put you on the right track concerning publicity. Whether you manage to make this play a success or not is up to you."

"Thank you, Mr Hayami. We will do our best not to disappoint you."

While Masumi was distracted by Hotta, Rei mouthed "What's he doing here?" to Maya. She flushed, stammering out:

"M-Mr Hayami… he… he helped me when I fell into the lake."

That must've been hard for her to say, Masumi thought, grinning. You can practically see her entire being protest against it. Maybe I should've let her fend for herself… though my body moved on its own, to be honest.

"Unfortunately," he said, "I'm also the reason as to why she ended up in the lake in the first place. You should hurry and go change, shorty, but be so kind as to lend me your ear while on the way there."

He took hold of Maya's elbow, his grin fading as he felt her stiffen at his touch.

"Your change of clothes is behind the open air theatre, right?" he said to her, the crowd parting before him by instinct.

"Y-yes," she said, trying to tug her elbow out of his grip as subtly as she could.

"Do you have any jacket, other than the one you're wearing now?"

"What? No, I haven't, but I don't see…"

"The sun is starting to set, some worrying clouds are moving in and there's a chilly breeze blowing. You've no doubt noticed it, as you've shivered twenty times because of it and have a bluish tinge on your nails. As your hair is wet, and I doubt your spare clothes are especially warm, as the weather was sunny this morning, being out in this chill wind might cause your immune system to become less effective, and a ride on the train would infinitely increase the chances of you catching a virus of some sort or another. As there's only a week left until your performance, this would be a disastrous occurrence, wouldn't you agree?"

They'd reached the opening leading to the backstage area of the open air theatre, but rather than ignoring Masumi and hurrying to the changing room (or more accurately, changing curtain), Maya retrieved her elbow from his care and growled:

"Does this have a point, or did you just want to embarrass me in front of my friends?"

"A little of column A, a little of column B," Masumi said, his smile as disarming as it was infuriating. "My point is this: I will offer you my jacket, which is dry, warm and fashionable. I will also spare you the risk of catching something by driving you home in my clean car. Your move, shorty."

"W… Why should I take your jacket? It's not that cold..."

Just then, a northern wind swept past, leaving Maya trembling in its wake. At Masumi's innocently smug look, she cried out:

"I'll look weird! I don't want everyone to stare at me again!"

"You won't look weird, I think. The colour suits your complexion, and androgyny is an ageless fad. But it's up to you. Do you want to risk falling ill or will you wear a very comfortable and spacious suit jacket? You've shown yourself capable to act while plagued with fever before, but perhaps that's an approach better taken with a sickly Beth than a sprightly Puck?"

She could still say no. She could tell him to stick his jacket somewhere dark and leave without another word. But he was making sense, for once: she was cold, she couldn't afford to get sick, and lately, there'd always been someone with a worrying cough on the train. It would be in her best interest to accept both of his proposals, but she was too adverse to the idea of submitting to go down without a fight:

"Won't you be cold? I don't want to accept your kindness if it inconveniences you."

"You're so selfless, shorty. I assure you, I won't be inconvenienced in any way, as I'm uncommonly warm-blooded. You'll actually be doing me a favour, as it means I won't have to carry it around."

Maya fiddled with her fingers, trying to figure out some way out of it but coming up short.

"I... That is, I don't... don't..."

"All this pointless arguing could be time spent getting into dry clothes. I'm stubborn, shorty, and I've had more practise in getting my way than you have. The sooner you humour me, the sooner I'll be gone from your sight."

"... Very well," Maya said, snatching the jacket away from him. "I'd hate to detain you more than I absolutely have to."

Wish I could say the same. "See you soon, then."

Knowing that Maya would do the same, he turned on his heel without a backwards glance and walked over to the edge of the stage. He sat down, about to occupy himself with smoking when he realized that his cigarettes, together with his lighter, were in his jacket pockets. As no one in the theatre troupe seemed the slightest inclined towards approaching him, he put his foot up on the stage, resting his head against his knee with a sigh.

This whole day had been exhausting. To have enough time to go visit Maya, he'd had to work at an even faster pace than he usually did. Thankfully, he was high enough in the company hierarchy to get away with taking the afternoon off without having to give a reason for it.

It would've been interesting to see their reaction if I told them the truth, he thought. "Sorry, I need the afternoon off because I've got to pay back a 100 yen loan that I borrowed from an 18 year old female actress (who hates me, by the way) against her will." There's no method to be imposed on that brand of madness.

"E-excuse me, Mr Hayami?"

Masumi glanced up to see the most androgynous person he'd ever laid eyes on. Masumi might've puzzled over whether he was being spoken to by a beautiful man or a handsome woman, if he hadn't researched the members of Tsukikage Theatre before. This was unmistakably Rei Aoki, one of the troupe's main attractions, and Maya's roommate/best friend. Why she should approach him was a mystery, though, as she'd just as much reason as Maya to hate him.

"Yes, Miss Aoki?" he said, politeness practically oozing from him. "What can I do for you?"

Rei resented this gracious attitude, as it disheartened her even more from bringing up what she truly needed to discuss with him.

"I'm sorry," she continued, clearing her throat, "b-but I should like to talk to you... in private."

Like Maya, Rei observed that Masumi would've made an excellent actor. By changing his features slightly, like raising his eyebrows a millimetre or narrowing his eyes an almost unnoticeable amount, he managed to convey a completely different expression. In the span of one second, he went from emoting good will to appraising her with unnerving insight, without ever losing his smile.

"Let me guess," he said, after a moment of inspection, "this is about Kitajima?"

"Yes, it is." Though she was so nervous that she could hardly swallow, Rei put on a brave face. "It's private, so if we could talk over there..."

"Of course."

Once they'd retreated to a distance where the other troupe members could gawk at them but not hear them, Rei started to speak:

"You've been visiting us a lot lately."

"It's in my interest to do so," was all Masumi said in reply.

"And why is that? Maya might be a candidate for the Crimson Goddess, but she's hardly the predicted winner at the moment."

"Contrary to popular belief, my entire life doesn't revolve around 'The Crimson Goddess'. I'm always scouting out promising troupes, and your troupe caught my eye."

"Then how come you always end up in rowboats with Maya, if it's the troupe that interests you?"

While Rei waited for Masumi to respond to that rather blatant accusation, thoughts like, Oh my god, did I say what I just think I said? Oh god, oh god, please don't take offence, take it like a joke, even though it wasn't! ran through her mind.

"I'm merely killing two birds with one stone," Masumi said blandly. Rei had no way of telling whether he was offended, amused or if he was genuinely unmoved.

How the hell can Maya talk to him so easily? Rei thought, grimacing. It's like confronting a marble statue!

"Now," Masumi continued, "what is it that you want me to tell you by staging this rather haphazard interrogation? Let's cut to the chase."

Rei didn't want to cut to the chase, as every insinuation she'd made had fallen flat. But as there was no other way out, she did as she was bid:

"If you mean only to keep an eye on Maya because she's a candidate for the Crimson Goddess, then I'd like you to stop inviting her to dine with you and desist in giving her pieces of your clothing."

Even though she was terrified, Rei appreciated the look of confusion on Masumi's face.

"I'm sorry," he said, "but I'm at a complete loss as to what you mean."

"I mean, that if you only feel professional curiosity towards her, then I'd like you to act professionally towards her. If you feel anything else towards her, then I'd like you to leave her alone altogether. Is that clear enough for you?"

Rei could see in the way that Masumi's jaw tensed that he wasn't completely ignorant as to her meaning. Nonetheless, he still said, "Not quite. What crime is it that you're accusing me of? Lack of professionalism?"

"I'm accusing you of being too unguarded with your attention. Maya's in enough trouble as it is without having to worry about whether you like her, and how she should respond to that. It's fine if you tease her, if you get some kind of kick out of it, just don't follow it up by invading her personal space. She's impressionable, and you're a grown man; you see how she could easily misinterpret that sort of behaviour?"

Rei had anticipated Masumi to laugh his head off, or for him to chew her out until she was nothing but a heap of dust. What she didn't expect was for his eyes to grow to the size of billiard balls.

"So you think," he said, dangerously close to stammering, "that... that shorty..."

"Unless you tread more carefully concerning her," Rei said, "yes, I do. And if you ever purposefully use the influence you might have to take advantage of her, Tsukikage will never give you 'The Crimson Goddess', whether Maya gets the part or not. Maya's like a daughter to her; she'd never forgive you."

Rather than to jump at the chance to assure her that he'd never do anything to endanger procuring the legendary play, Masumi was deep in thought. He abstractly patted his chest, before once again realizing that he was no longer in possession of his calming, distracting cigarettes. He had to settle for knotting his fingers together, trying to figure out how he could shake Rei of the scent.

My god, Rei thought, but is he blushing?

"I'm… I'm not sure what to say," Masumi said, "other than while your concern is admirable, it's completely misplaced. Kitajima hates me for the best reasons there are. A little bit of kindness and physical obtrusiveness will hardly change that."

"Maya is a very good person. If you're kind to her without any obvious motive, she'll think that you regret treating her harshly in the past, and she might even go so far as to forgive you. I don't want her to have to worry about such things right now."

Forgive me? The mere notion struck him like a blow. He almost abandoned his guard, covering his mouth with his hand, sticking the other in his pocket, staring intently down on the ground. Would she? It's true, that she's a very good person, and that she's been a bit less hostile towards me lately, but… is it really because of me? Do I really have that kind of influence over her? If I have, then shorty is much too naive for her own good…

"Mr Hayami," Rei said, jolting him out of his thoughts, "it's rather hard to argue with someone if they're not even present in the conversation."

"Have I ever expressed any desire to argue with you, Miss Aoki?" Masumi had the unique ability to recover from mental breakdowns in the matter of seconds, coming back stronger and more obnoxious than ever. "However, I do apologize for my distraction. It was rude of me, but you've given me a lot to marvel at. You needn't worry about my trying to take advantage of Maya's inexperience and innate loveliness. I don't wish her to think well of me anymore than you do."

"W-what? Why not?"

"Surely, you, as observant as you are, have noticed that I've made no effort to make Kitajima think of me in fairer terms than 'a necessary evil'? And you must know that I never act without reason, and that anger is one of the most potent motivators there are?"

"But why do you want to motivate her? It's no secret that Daito's rooting for Ayumi, so why don't you support her instead?"

"For one, it's better to have two candidates than one, even if one of them is stubborn as a mule and hates you with a fierce passion. Other than that, Ayumi isn't nearly as fun to tease as Kitajima."

"You think I'll believe you'd go through all this trouble just because Maya is easy to incise?" Rei was beginning to understand why it was so easy for Maya to be rude to Masumi; he could be so insultingly flippant about things, you couldn't help but to snap at him. "Please, Mr Hayami, I'm not stupid."

"Definitely not," Masumi laughed. "Very well. It must've taken you a lot of courage to confront me like this, so I'll be honest with you: I want to help Kitajima succeed out of guilt."

"Guilt" and "Masumi Hayami" seemed to have about as much immediate connection as "Caviar" with "Dashboard", namely none.

"Guilt?" Rei repeated, uncertain that she'd heard him correctly. "Over what?"

"Whatever rumours you might've heard about me, I don't make it a habit to rob young girls of their mothers just for the sake of publicity. I underestimated Mrs Kitajima's regard for her daughter, and that's what caused her death: my arrogance and my idiocy. There's nothing I regret more than how I handled that affair, and if I knew then what I know now, I would've wasted no time in reuniting them. I'm obligated to make sure my blunder has as few ill effects as possible, and the only way I can be of any use to Kitajima is to make sure her career stays on the right track."

It's hard to express yourself when all your suppositions about someone have just been completely destroyed, but Rei gave it her best:

"So… so that's why you took her in, after her mother died. Is it why you're helping us now?"

"Partly. I was speaking the truth when I said that your troupe has aroused my professional interest."

"Then you were the one who sent the journalist from Maicho Shinbun?"

"I serve you the biggest secret I have on a silver platter, yet you demand more? I didn't know you were so greedy."

Rei started, colouring slightly. "I-I'm sorry... It's just that this explains so much. I've always wondered why you were so supportive of Maya... I want to see how much I have to thank you for."

"You've nothing to thank me for. I'm just taking responsibility for a mistake I could've prevented, had I been wiser. This doesn't change anything."

"Doesn't change anything? This changes everything!"

"No," Masumi said sharply, "this changes nothing, because you won't tell anyone about this. I told you the truth because I didn't want you to think I was trying to ruin shorty's innocence. I don't want anyone else to know about it, least of all her."

"I don't understand... You could do so much more for Maya if she knew what your true intentions were."

Masumi smiled, and this was a truly a Hayami original: morose yet confident.

"I beg to differ," he said. "You see, if your former-enemy-suddenly-turned-ally, who you've no idea what to think of, tells you to go out and do your very best, your morale will hardly rise to the occasion. Whereas if the scourge of your life, the man who's responsible for your mother's untimely death, were to tell you that there's no way you'll ever succeed, you do everything in your power to prove him wrong. I've more experience with playing the scourge, so it's a win-win situation. Besides, she already has that Purple Rose guy, hasn't she? Anything I can do as an enigmatic benefactor, he can do better."

Desperately wishing for cigarettes, as disclosing one's most private thoughts to a virtual stranger tends to tear at one's nerves, he watched Rei try to process the information. While Rei was more adept at hiding her emotions than Maya was (then again, the average eight year old could lay claim to the same feat), it was just as natural for her to wear her heart on her sleeve. She'd practically dug her fingers into her scalp, obviously in two minds about whether to accept Masumi's convoluted logic or not.

"Oh, alright," she sighed, retrieving her hand from her distressed hair. "I promise won't say anything to anyone else. But just so you know, I think you're underestimating Maya. The closure she'd need for her mother's death would be for you to say you're sorry."

"Then I'll give her that closure," Masumi said, "after she's won the role of the Crimson Goddess. Not a moment before."

"Then you plan to help her achieve the Academic Arts Awards?"

"I'll do what I can, but really, it's all up to Kitajima. Miss Aoki, while this might seem like a huge change of events to you, I assure you, you should see me as you've always done. I'm just helping Kitajima out because I don't want to be haunted by a stupid mistake all my life."

"But you do care for her, don't you?"

The question seemed to bother Masumi, his brow wrinkled as he answered, "As far as I'm able, and mind you, that's a very short distance. She's an unorthodox business deal and refreshing company; that's all. Now, if you don't mind, Kitajima is bound to come back at any moment, and I doubt that you want her to see us talking confidentially."

Unable to deny the truth of that statement, Rei followed Masumi back to the stage, still burning with curiosity.

"I can't believe you thought I was trying to seduce shorty," Masumi told her. He'd cast off all the intensity and seriousness of his and Rei's private interview, looking for all the world to be the cocksure vice-president of Daito again. "Do you have any idea what such a relationship would do to my reputation? 'Masumi Hayami, demon workhorse and cradle robber'. Not the most desirable title, certainly."

"I didn't think you were trying to seduce her," Rei objected, blushing even so. "I just thought you were just teasing her, and didn't understand that she might take you seriously."

"You do raise a valid point," Masumi mused, resuming his former position on the edge of the stage. "But you don't need to worry. Whenever I flirt with her, she takes it like an insult. If I gave her the keys to a hotel room, she'd chuck them at my head."

Rei blubbered, just as put off by Masumi's innuendo as she was by his fond, reminiscent expression, as though he was describing an actual occurrence.

"Whenever you flirt with her?" she said. Even though she'd seen Masumi tease and tower over Maya, she'd yet to see him display any behaviour that could rightly be labelled "flirting", unless it was performed by an eloquent five year old.

"I've never actually offered her keys to a hotel room, if that's what you want to find out," Masumi said, raising an eyebrow. "You really do presume the worst about me, don't you?"

"You haven't given me much reason to presume otherwise," Rei said. She'd never thought of saying such a thing to Masumi just ten minutes ago, but he had the irksome talent of drawing out one's petty, argumentative side. It was more in how he said things, rather than the actual content of his speech, which made it all the worse. Rei understood now why Maya'd been ready to explode with anger after having to spend a whole afternoon with him, and she sympathised with her plight. Masumi was the sort of man who could, should he put his mind to it, make Mother Theresa exclaim, "Oh, just shut up already!".

"I see where shorty gets her barbed tongue," was the infuriating response he gave, awakening Rei's eye twitch. "Though you're not half as bad as she gets when she's really mad. I've lost count of the times that she's physically assaulted me."

"I've only hit you three times!"

Both Rei and Masumi spun around, equally sheepish and guilty. Maya walked out to the middle of the stage, crossing her arms, attempting to glower the life out of Masumi.

"And I was heavily provoked on all three occasions," she added.

Her glower lost some of its heat when Masumi failed to produce a counter quip. He was looking at her in a rather unsettling way, his eyes wide and unreadable.

"S-stop staring at me!" Maya shouted. "I know, alright: I look completely ridiculous! You don't have to rub it in!"

"My dear shorty," Masumi said, climbing up onto the stage, "as I know my opinion is of great importance to you, I'll be honest at the cost of my own dignity: I was merely admiring the splendour of your appearance."

Tapping his fingers to his lips, he studied Maya once more, nodding scholarly. Their difference in size, always apparent, was made glaringly obvious by the fact that Maya'd had to roll up the sleeves of his jacket three or four times. The sight was made so much more soothing by the flower dress she was wearing underneath, as well as the strappy sandals on her feet, both of which clashed so frightfully with the sombre jacket, it couldn't help but to be adorable. But the crowning feature (literally) was her change in hairstyle. She'd done it up in a neat, long braid, and had tied it together with a picturesque red ribbon.

"It's always a blow to my self esteem to see you look so much better in my clothes than I do," Masumi said, sighing with melancholy. "By the way, why the braid?"

"I didn't want my hair to get in the way," Maya growled, practically glowing red. "Now, would you be so kind as to stop staring?"

"I'll try," Masumi said, wincing, as though the mere prospect was painful for him. "I doubt I'll be especially successful, but I'll do my best."

"Let's just go get your tie, alright?" Maya said, flipping back her braid with uncharacteristic haughtiness.

"Swift and to the point," Masumi said, an admiring lilt to his voice. "I'm afraid, however, that I'm in a contrary mood, shorty, and I wish to have a long and instructive conversation with you."

"What have we to talk about? My childishness, my poor manners or my carelessness?"

"You and I could talk until dawn about our many vices, though I suppose I would be the main contributor. But no, what I want to chat about is why you retreated into a lake to avoid me. I'm not the greatest of company, but I don't think you usually see me as repelling enough to prefer to inhale a lungful of water rather than to greet me properly."

He spoke the last sentence in a low, serious voice, peering at Maya in a way that made her feel as though she was being x-rayed.

"... F-fine," she conceded, averting her gaze to her toes. "If that's what it takes, then fine. But you're making a great deal out of nothing."

"If that's true, I could say the same to you, for falling into a lake over a trifle. Miss Aoki," Masumi turned towards Rei, "your friend has consented to speak to me about a private matter. Will you agree to lend her to me?"

"I'm not her keeper, Mr Hayami," Rei said, "so it's really not up to me to give you permission for anything."

"Really?" Masumi furrowed his brow. "Yet you were doing such a good impression of a concerned legal guardian just a minute ago..."

Seeing that Maya was about to ask what he meant, Rei quickly intervened:

"For how long do you want her?"

"As I haven't eaten properly since somewhere around noon, I was thinking of making her endure having a late dinner with me. What do you say, shorty? Am I asking for too much?"

Maya slowly shook her head. "No…" She grabbed hold of her elbows, squeezing them tight. "I'll go."

Masumi, who'd been fully prepared to play the pushy bully, softened at her display of discomfort.

"I'll try and make it as quick and painless as possible," he promised her. "So unless you've got anything left to do here, we should go."

"Alright. I'll just say goodbye to Rei and the others first."

Maya was once again witness to Masumi's near reality distorting powers of abstraction. Without her noticing, the entire troupe had encircled the stage, shock, confusion and dismay evident on nearly every face.

"I-I'm just going to talk a bit with Mr Hayami," she said after Rei had helped her down from the stage. "I probably won't be long."

"But why are you going?" Mina asked. Even though Masumi had placed himself well out of earshot from them, as though to allow them to say whatever they wished about him, her voice was hushed. "You shouldn't let him do whatever he wants; you've got absolutely no obligation to go with him anywhere."

"I know," Maya murmured, fingering the sleeve of Masumi's jacket, "it's just... just that he's stubborn, and the sooner I get it over with..."

"Just tell him to go boil his head!" Sayaka interrupted. She'd always been annoyed by Maya's meek nature, as she knew from firsthand experience how easy it was to take advantage of her because of it. "He's always doing this to you, and you always come home either crying or screaming! He shouldn't be allowed to get away with it!"

"If you've no objection to this other than the fact that you think he'll hurt her," Rei said, "then you should let her go. Right now, it's not in his interest to anger her."

"How do you know?" Sayaka demanded.

"I think it's enough for me to simply say that I know, alright?" Rei said. "You can distrust Hayami all you want, but you have a little more faith in my judgement, I hope?"

Grudgingly, the rest were forced to accept that. No one was more concerned for Maya's welfare than Rei, and it simply wasn't conceivable that she'd let her come to harm.

"Don't worry," Maya said, smiling nervously. "I'll be fine. I've learnt how to deal with him, so I won't give him any chances to mess with me."

"Are you sure?" Mina said, scrutinising her expression. "You don't look confident."

"Don't worry," Maya said, increasing the watt of her grin. "If he tries anything, I have both his tie and his jacket hostage. Well, bye everyone! See you tomorrow!"

A chorus of "Bye, Maya!" echoed through the park. Maya laughed as she turned back and waved at them, the jacket nearly sliding off of one of her shoulders as she did. Her back was turned to them as she joined Masumi's side, so they couldn't tell what she truly felt at facing him.

"Why do you let her go with him, when you know full well that he's a prick?" Sayaka said to Rei. "I've never understood your weird notion about him caring about Maya. This is Masumi Hayami! The closest he's come to showing concern is by not kicking Maya out on the street after killing her mother!"

"So you see," Rei said, untouched by Sayaka's reprimand, "he does care about her."

Sayaka let out a sound of pure exasperation, and left it up to Mina to try to convince Rei of her folly:

"Rei, you can't seriously think that any good will come out of this? It's mad, to make her have dinner with that man! How would you like to trade places with her?"

"It's not right," Taiko concurred, "to let him trick her into coming with him, without speaking up."

"Alright," Rei sighed, ruffling her hair, "settle down, settle down! Yes, I know he hasn't shown himself to be the least bit trustworthy or even tolerable. Frankly, I've never known a more irritating man. But take my word for it when I say he doesn't intend to sabotage Maya in any way."

"But how do you know he won't?" Sayaka said. "If you say it's just a hunch, or if it's a feeling you have deep down, I shall… I shall kick you in the shin!"

"I think all this Shakespeare has made you a bit bloodthirsty, Sayaka," Rei joked. She hastily added, as the petite girl menacingly swung her leg back, "I do have some basis for my claim. I, um, I can't tell you what it is, but I assure you, it's not in Hayami's interest to cause trouble for Maya. He helped us out with our show, didn't he?"

"But does that really mean anything?" Mina said. "He hospitalised Tsukikage at Maya's request, but it was in his interest to keep Tsukikage alive and to make Maya rely on him. You can't say he did it for her, just as you can't say he helped us out because of her."

"Maybe I can't," Rei said, "but I can say I heard it from a good source that he's acting out motives that are slightly more admirable than usual."

"And this source," Sayaka cut in, "is it in fact Hayami? That's not the most impartial source."

"But what was all that about?" Taiko said. "You told us all to stay where we were, because there was a chance you would embarrass yourself incredibly, and then you walked off with Hayami, of all people. What did you talk to him about?"

"It... it's confidential," Rei said, wincing as Sayaka fixed her with a glare. "All I can say that it was about Maya, secrets were revealed and I promised him I'd tell no one."

"Just tell us what happened!" Sayaka insisted. "Is a promise to him worth more than us?"

"I swore I'd never tell anyone," Rei snapped, starting to tire of the third degree, "and I intend to do just that. If you were in my shoes, you'd do exactly the same thing, and you know it."

"I wouldn't speak to Hayami in the first place! What were you trying to do, make sure he was on our side? We can do without his 'help'."

Rei'd had just about enough of this flagrant ingratitude. She'd nearly short-circuited her courage when she'd approached Hayami to make sure about her friend's welfare, and here they all were, ganging up on her, as though what she'd done hadn't been completely selfless. Of course, she could see where they were coming from, but their lack of faith was getting on her nerves.

Perhaps she let it show that she was at the end of her patience, because Keiko, who was a pacifist deep down (despite her aggressive appearance), spoke up:

"I might not know much about this whole feud you're having with Daito and Hayami, but if Maya is fine with going with him and Rei is okay with letting her go, there's not really anything you can do about it. Besides, crafty as he is, I doubt Hayami will find some way to ruin Maya's chances just by talking to her. Right, chief?"

"Eh, um," Hotta sputtered, sneaking a peek at Mina, "I, I don't think I know enough to make a proper judgement… I mean, Mr Hayami did help us, b-but who knows what he's really thinking, right?"

"Aaanyway," Keiko drawled, rolling her eyes, "it's not like Hayami'll be able to cause irreversible damage. Let's just go home, relax, and you can discuss it all with her when she gets back. How does that sound?"

The members of Tsukikage Theatre, Rei exempted, weighed the option of waiting for Maya against arguing with Rei now. While Sayaka might have been leaning towards the latter, she was forced to conform as Mina and Taiko choose the former approach.

"I guess it's useless to stand around here, hounding Rei," Mina admitted, casting an apologetic glance her friend's way. "I'm sorry, Rei, but we're all so worried about Maya. He's already caused her so much pain; we just don't want to see her come to any more harm because of him."

"Do you really think he's harmless?" Taiko asked.

"Not 'harmless', exactly," Rei said, her good humour returning as the tension vanished. "I don't think he has it in him to be harmless. Just... 'helpful'. But before we all disperse, I'd like to make you enter into a pact with me: swear that you'll never tell Maya you saw me talking to Hayami today."

"Why?" Sayaka said, almost automatically. "Doesn't she at least have the right to know?"

"She might have the right," Rei said, "but it won't do her any good. She's got enough on her plate without adding Hayami onto it. Besides, he was really explicit about me not telling her anything."

"He seems oddly reluctant of being found out for an altruist," Sayaka remarked.

"He does have a bizarre reason for it," Rei said, her lips pursing at the memory of it. "He can easily motivate Maya as her antagonist. Frankly, I just think he prefers it that way."

"For someone who's defending him," Mina said, "you're not overly fond of him."

"I appreciate his help with Maya," Rei said, "and I don't think he's a bad person, exactly. It's just... he's so..."

"Annoying?" Sayaka said.

"Superior?" Mina suggested.

"Vague?" Taiko supplied.

"All of those things," Rei sighed. "But there's a glimmer of kindness in him… and I think Maya brings it out."

The general consensus among both the theatre troupes was this:

"Definitely impossible."

OXOXO

"Shorty, if you reach into the left inner pocket of my jacket, you'll find a cigarette case and a lighter. Kindly give them to me."

This was just about the last way Maya'd thought Masumi would start up their conversation, so it took her a while to follow his orders. The case and the lighter were both surprisingly modest, as they were made out of polished steel and unadorned by any kind of artistic detail.

"Thank you," Masumi said as she gave him the requested items. "You're a most courteous young woman."

Maya, having already resolved not to speak unless absolutely necessary, merely watched him pluck out a cigarette and light it, his movements refined by habit.

"Now," he said, handing back the case and the lighter to her, "as my nerves are sufficiently calm and you are sufficiently edgy, I will turn the conversation onto the much dreaded passage of why exactly I seem to invoke the fear of god in you?"

"Do we really have to do this?" Maya said, fingering the silk lining of the inner jacket pocket. "It's stupid, and, and silly."

"How fortunate, then, that I have a taste for things that are stupid and silly. Of course, you needn't tell me. However, to make up for the lack of silliness in the conversation, I shall have to supply it with tales of how you showed up to what was possibly one of the most important auditions of your life, looking as though you'd been beaten half to death. Or how about that time you peered in on a rehearsal for hours, not noticing that your fingers and toes were becoming numb, only to be attacked by guard dogs? Oh, no, I know the perfect one: remember when we bumped into each other after 'King Lear', and you—?"

"Would you stop it already?" Maya exclaimed. "Honestly, do you file away every clumsy move I make for future torture, or what?"

"Not just your mistakes," Masumi said, not at all perturbed at Maya's outburst. In fact, he was inordinately satisfied by it, smiling boyishly as he took a drag from his cigarette. "Everything you've ever done to amuse me, astound me, anger me, pain me, and so on, is safely stored in my memory. So I warn you: I could go on forever, unless you take it on yourself to fill up the silliness quota."

It tempted Maya to tell him the exact truth, if only to shut him up once and for all, but as the action would be akin to committing murder/suicide, she bought herself a few seconds to come up with a lie:

"I don't understand why you're so stubborn about this. When have you ever cared the least bit about me?"

Maya had thought that would've given her, at most, a noncommittal grunt, leaving her unprepared as Masumi let out a hoot of laughter.

"My dear," he said (deciding to add the new nickname permanently to his repartee), "I can't say that your assessment is unjust, but it's certainly not true. I hold you in the highest regard, and therefore can't help but to be curious when I inspire horror in you one moment, only for you to shake it off in the next. It's intriguing."

Maya drew in a deep, steadying breath, knowing that she couldn't avoid telling him for any longer (unless she wanted to be regaled with anecdotes of her worst mistakes for the rest of the evening). Thankfully, she'd thought up an alternative explanation, trying not to look proud when she told it to Masumi:

"I had a dream about you. A really bad one."

Masumi's eyebrows shot up.

"Really?" he said, oddly pleased. "And what was my role in this unmitigated nightmare?"

Maya flushed, breaking eye contact with Masumi.

"It's… it's really embarrassing," she said, "but... I was in an old mansion, and you were a vampire, chasing me, telling me to give you 'The Crimson Goddess'. S-so, when you suddenly appeared by the bridge, I got a flashback to that, so I, um, I fell in..."

Now that she'd said it out loud, her fake dream seemed a lot more lame and devastating than her real one. She was sure he wouldn't buy it, as he'd become an expert at seeing through her lies, but to her great relief, Masumi just grimaced.

"I'm sorry to have caused you distress even in your dreams, shorty," he said. "However, I'll have to accuse you of the same crime."

"Eh? What do you mean?"

"My dream was set in the forest of Athens. I was walking along peacefully, when this malignant spirit appeared (which was you dressed up like Puck, by the way). Before I could even say, 'Good evening', you attacked me, swabbing my eyes very painfully with love-in-idleness.

"'Churl!' you said, very rudely, 'upon thy eyes I throw all the power this charm doth owe!' And that's where my knowledge of Puck's lines end, because next, you said, 'The next person you see, you will fall madly and irreversibly in love with! Have a happy lifetime, jerk!'.

"You vanished in a puff of smoke, leaving behind a trail of mad cackling in your wake. Thinking, 'Well, that was weird', I walked on, thinking nothing of your curse before I met a... certain person."

Masumi stopped, too disturbed to continue, taking a distraught suck of his nearly used up cigarette.

"Well?" Maya urged him. "Who did you meet?"

Masumi slowly turned to face Maya. His expression was as grave as she'd ever seen it, his stare intense enough to make her skin goosebump.

"Onodera," he said, every syllable filled with revulsion and despair.

Maya was stunned into silence for a few seconds, and emerged from it with a loud snort of laughter. She slapped her hands over her mouth, shocked over what she'd done, glancing about to see how many had been witness to her indiscretion.

"You may well laugh at it, you nefarious sprite!" Masumi huffed, acting injured, though there was a huge grin on his lips. "You're not the one who has to live with it! I can't even meet his eye anymore, and I have to work with the man! I can't even look at a pipe without blushing!"

Despite her best efforts, Maya's laughter slipped through her fingers. She had the most vivid mental image of Masumi walking past a tobacco shop, going red like a lobster as his saw a display of pipes.

"If you're quite finished chuckling at my misfortune," Masumi said, flicking his cigarette butt into a nearby trashcan with practised aim, "I think we need to discuss whether we should change our game plan."

When she felt it safe enough, she removed her hands from her mouth, swallowing a giggle before she asked:

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I didn't expect you to be so toward. I thought I'd need to work you over all dinner to make you tell me whatever it was you were hiding. Now that you've already told me, dinner seems a bit superfluous, doesn't it?"

"But you didn't you say you hadn't eaten properly since noon?"

"I was exaggerating... slightly. My last meal was at two o'clock, but it's nothing, really. When you're in my line of work, you get used to a diet of sport bars."

"Even if you're content to starve, I'm hungry. Besides, you told Rei and the others that you'd treat me, so they won't leave any food for me."

Masumi felt uneasy, as he was in an unfamiliar position. Usually, he'd be the one arguing for dinner while she'd fight for her freedom, even if it did mean an empty stomach. He wondered where this sudden benevolence towards his company had come from, deciding that it was probably his Onodera joke that had done the trick.

"It seems I must bow before your wisdom," he acquiesced. "To make sure that you will keep your gracious attitude, I'll have to sacrifice my privacy as well: ask me whatever you like about my life, work and whatever else you can think of."

"What? Really?" Maya said. Clearly, she hadn't thought her graciousness would be thus rewarded, her eyes narrowing suspiciously. "What's the catch?"

"There's no catch. Ask, and you shall receive. Think of this as levelling the playing field: I already know everything about you, so it's only fair that you at least know the basic facts about me. Does it seem like a good deal?"

"Oh, yes!" Maya hurried to say, unable to believe her luck.

"I'm glad I've managed to pique your interest. So, what's your first question?"

Maya opened her mouth, found she had nothing to say, and then shut it. She had so many questions to ask Masumi, but they were all in the spirit of "Do you regret closing down Tsukikage Theatre?", "How does Eisuke Hayami treat you? Like a son, or like a business partner?" and "Do you have any close friends, or do you only associate with people that can bring you connections?". Undoubtedly, those queries would ruin the levity of the evening.

"Shorty?"

"Ah, um," Maya stammered, "h-how old are you?"

The question was nothing short of dumb, but it had been the only thing she'd been able to come up with on such short notice.

"29," Masumi said, trying not to smile.

"29?" Maya repeated. "Really?"

"Yes. How old did you think I was?"

"I don't really know. I've always seen you as a sort of ageless entity... Wait a minute, if you're 29 now, then you were," she broke off to count on her fingers, "24 when we met, right?"

"Right."

"You were director of Daito when you were 24?"

"What can I say? I had the face, I had the brains, my father's the president of the company... Let's just say that it was a PR move."

"How long have you worked with Daito?"

"Far longer than I care to remember. Keep it up like this, shorty. These are hard-hitting questions."

"What did your co-workers think about you becoming director when you were so young and related to the president?"

"Now that's more like it. Needless to say, there was some fuss, and some rather disparaging comments about nepotism that were never voiced directly to my face. But once I proved that I was competent, a side effect from being trained for the profession since I was a child, the talk stopped. Well, the talk about nepotism, anyway. There's a rather large quantity of ugly rumours about me, but that's the price of success when you work in a multimillion industry."

Maya had been so absorbed in listening to Masumi's answer, she'd completely forgotten to prepare another question. At his searching look, she mumbled:

"Give me a minute..."

"I'll be so generous as to give you five. In return, give me your opinion about that establishment over there."

He pointed at a restaurant that resembled a Chinese teahouse, gaudily red, with an upper floor that looked out over the park. A sign proudly declared that the restaurant was named "The Celestial". An impressive moniker, though it had nothing to do with the food it served.

"Ah!" Maya exclaimed, clasping her hands together. "Let's eat here! I've always wanted to eat here!"

"As you wish," Masumi said, "but I feel compelled to ask: what is it that they serve?"

"Ramen," she said. "I've had a look inside once, and it looked really good. Like pictures from cooking books. But it's kind of expensive… not like 'Panna', of course, but still."

"I daresay I meet their financial criteria. Come, shorty. You're practically skipping with anticipation."

She wanted to argue with him about his observation, mostly because he'd called her shorty, but she was too eager to finally get to taste the ramen that had so long been denied her to indulge in petty name calling. She was so filled with happiness at the thought, she didn't notice that Masumi had taken a light grip on her elbow as they entered the restaurant.

It was crowded and noisy, but in a comfortable, cosy manner. Salary men, office ladies and college students were talking, slurping their ramen and playing drinking games.

A greeter was quick in discovering Maya and Masumi. His wide smile and informal manners were the complete opposite of the robotically courteous waiter who'd welcomed them at "Panna":

"Welcome! Is this your first time here, my friends?"

"It is," Masumi said, his smile a tad more subtle than the greeter's. "As such, I wonder, what would you recommend to us?"

The greeter's face lit up, making his grin positively dazzling.

"I would have to say that the shoyo ramen is the best choice this evening. All the ingredients for it are fresh like a spring breeze, and it's the cook's specialty."

"I shall trust your judgement," Masumi said, "and have what you suggest. How about you, shorty?"

"Um, I'll… I'll have the same." It suddenly hit her, as the gaze from a group of office ladies caught her eye, that she and Masumi must've made a strange sight. The office ladies were, frankly, staring at them, in a way that was all too familiar. It had been the same as when she'd been with Yuu and (especially) Shigeru. It was a stare that said plainly: "What is he doing with her?". Though the office ladies observations had the added insult of "Is he really with her? Seriously?". Some of them seemed positively distressed about it.

"Excellent," the greeter said. "I'm touched by your trust, my friends. Now, what would you like to drink with that?"

"I think green tea will do adequately," Masumi said. "And you, shorty?"

"Jasmine tea, please," Maya said, hastening to add, "if you have it."

"We're well stocked in jasmine tea," the greeter assured her. "Where should you like to sit?"

"Is up by the counter alright by you?" Masumi moved his hand from her elbow to her shoulder to catch her attention.

She looked over to the counter, dismayed to see that the office ladies were sitting around a table right next to it. However, as there was no other available seats in immediate sight, and as she'd rather not explain her grudge against the office ladies to Masumi, she nodded.

"That's fine..."

She self-consciously stole a glance at the office ladies as she and Masumi passed them. All of them, no exception, had temporarily abandoned their dinners to gawk at Maya as though she was a harpy from the netherworld.

"Time's up soon, shorty," Masumi spoke to her as she sat down, his mouth a mite too close to her ear for comfort.

"D-don't slide up so close!" Maya snapped, covering her ear with her hand. "And what was all that with holding my shoulder?"

"You were distracted," Masumi said, seating himself after shrugging. "I had to keep you focused somehow, and I'd used up the number of times you can legally say 'shorty' in a minute."

"I don't know which is more annoying! And what did you mean by, 'Time's up soon'?"

"You needed some time to think of a question to ask you. Unless you come up with one within 30 seconds, I'll assume you're forfeiting your right to interview me."

"That's not fair!"

"Life isn't fair, and neither am I. 25 seconds left."

Biting her lip, Maya worked frenetically to come up with something. Each thought was as inappropriate as the last, until she finally came up with a semi-acceptable question when the countdown had reached ten seconds:

"D-do you have any close friends?"

"... A few," Masumi answered. "You'd probably only need the fingers of one hand to count them. They're amiable people. You'd like them. Next."

"What would I like about them?"

"Their amiability. Next."

"That's not a real answer!"

"Sure it is. They're amiable, and you would like that."

"I demand a proper answer! What are their names, what are their good points, why are they friends with you, and where did you meet them?"

"Such inquisitiveness! Are you planning to infiltrate my circle of friends?"

"You know everything about my friends. I thought this whole thing was about 'levelling the playing field'?"

Masumi tapped his fingers against the counter, wondering how to get himself out of the deep pit he'd just dug for himself. When he spoke of close friends, he meant, more or less, Hijiri, Mizuki and his oldest friend, Kyoichiro Jin. As he couldn't tell her about Hijiri, and because it was just plain sad to list your secretary and old university classmate as one's only friends, he said:

"Pass."

"Pass?" Maya glared at him, annoyance and impatience apparent in her eyes. "You can't pass."

"I can and I will. I made this game up, thus, I can make up rules for it as well."

"Of all the cowardly—!"

"Here's your order, my friends!" the greeter announced, placing down an enormous tray on the counter.

Maya let out a "Mgnh!", while Masumi whipped around, the only sign of surprise on his features being his parted lips.

"Ah," he said, "thank you for the speedy delivery."

"Not at all," the greeter said, clearly pleased by the praise despite his humbleness. "Speed is an essential part of our service. But," he glanced at Maya, "I do hope I didn't scare you, miss?"

"N-no," Maya said, "I was just... um..."

"In a world of your own?" the greeter suggested, waggling his eyebrows. "I understand."

No, you don't! Maya's mind screamed as she struggled to keep a straight face. Your eyebrow waggle is completely misinformed!

Sensing Maya's inner distress, Masumi quickly lead the conversation onto a new track:

"I see I was right in trusting in you both. This ramen looks truly excellent."

Beaming with pride, the greeter began doling out the ramen, along with two small clay pots of tea with matching cups.

"I'll send your regards to the chef," the greeter said, bowing. "Enjoy your meal, my friends."

"Thank you," Masumi said, bowing his head in return, "I'm certain we shall."

Once the greeter had left, unaware of how much trouble he'd caused, Masumi turned to Maya with the sole purpose of seeing her reaction to the monstrous portion of ramen. He wasn't disappointed: her eyes were practically shining with contentment as she observed the thick layer of bamboo shots, green onions, dried seaweed, fish cakes and boiled egg halves on top of the noodles.

"The service and cuisine is rather different from 'Panna'," Masumi said, unable to hold back a smile. "Which do you prefer?"

"Hmm," Maya mused as she broke apart a pair of disposable chopsticks, "I'm not sure. I feel more relaxed here, and the food looks wonderful," she looked at the ramen with tenderness and love, "but 'Panna' was excellent in its own way. I'm leaning towards this place, though, because look, you get a whole pot of tea for yourself!"

"It must be great to find happiness in such small things," Masumi said, filling his cup with green tea.

"Why does it always feel like your mocking me when you say stuff like that?" She picked up a fish cake, about to dip it in the broth when something occurred to her, "You're trying to distract me from my question, aren't you?"

"Damn," Masumi swore, "you caught me. But as I've invoked the right of 'pass', you've got to ask me another question instead."

"Oh, fine," Maya said, rolling her eyes, "but just so you know, you're a cowardly cheat to call 'pass'."

"Duly noted."

Maya took her time in tasting the noodles, making sure she got a good pinch of green onion with her first bite. Her expression forced Masumi to spend an inordinate amount of attention in his tea in order not to burst into laughter.

"Ah," she sighed, "that was really good. But, anyway, my question is this: have you ever had a girlfriend?"

Masumi, who'd raised an egg halve to his mouth, stopped to look at Maya. She blanched, realizing what her question might've suggested about her own interest in Masumi, but bore on:

"I just mean, women are always trying to get your attention, but I've never heard of you ever giving anyone the time of day. I was just wondering if you're really as cold as you give the impression of being."

"I had no doubt that that was what you meant by asking," Masumi said, popping the egg into his mouth. Once he'd finished chewing it, washing it down with a sip of tea, he continued, "I've always been busy with my work, but I've had a few… flings, you might call them. Nothing the least bit serious. Just a bit of flirting and a few kisses to make a boring party a bit more interesting. When you're in my position, however, you have to be careful about who you choose to associate with. Besides, women tend to tire of me rather quickly. It's much easier to live up to the title of 'The Devil of Daito', rather than that of 'The Most Eligible Bachelor of Daito'."

"Hmmm," Maya said, thoughtful as she blew on her tea. "Then, you're a virgin?"

There would've been a moment of frozen silence, as Maya had spoken when the din of the restaurant was at its lowest, enabling half of it to hear her question, if Masumi hadn't choked on his noodles. His coughing state was quickly remedied with a huge gulp of tea, and he filled the remaining would be silence with loud, delighted laughter.

Maya, blushing from head to toe, sank down onto the counter, hiding her face behind her arms, moaning as Masumi kept laughing. She could hear various patrons begin to chuckle, and she could feel the stab of glares (which she assumed came from the office ladies behind her).

"Oh, my dear, lovely shorty," Masumi said as he finally recovered from his jovial fit, his voice light and scratchy, "you are worth your weight in gold and jewels! That's it; I shall have to put you in my will. Upon my sudden and brutal death, you'll inherit all of my estate and every last yen I own, because that is exactly what that faux-pas was worth. I'll never be able to repay you for it otherwise."

"I want to dieee!" Maya wailed, burying herself further into her fortress of arms.

"No, don't die!" Masumi beseeched her, putting his hand onto her back. "I'll lose my favourite source of entertainment if you do!"

"Oh, shut up!" Maya emerged from her fortress to slap away Masumi's hand. "You're horrible!"

Masumi just laughed, thoroughly fascinated as he drank in Maya's expression. Her cheeks were two bright spots of red, every line in her face underlining her humiliation, her eyes slightly glassy, as though, if offered a little bit more provocation, she might actually begin to cry. It was unlike anything Masumi had ever seen before, at once cute and utterly pitiful. He was nearly overwhelmed by an urge to kiss it better, but managed to express his desire to comfort her with a modest shoulder squeeze.

"Don't worry," he told her, having to duck his head to catch her eyes. "While extremely amusing, this isn't the worst slip-up you've ever made."

"Oh, really?" Maya said, glaring balefully at him. "What other slip-up have I made that even comes close to being as mortifying as this one?"

"Um, w-well... Alright, I can't think of one right now, but you're young. You have plenty of time to erase this from your embarrassment high score."

"I'm not really looking forward to that..." She once again sunk down onto the counter, her cheek pressing against the wood as her arms dangled freely from their sockets.

"Cheer up, shorty," Masumi said, in detestably high spirits as he returned to his food. "People are already forgetting about it."

"Oh, is that why they're pointing and laughing at me?" However, Maya rose from her blue study, thinking that she might as well comfort herself with food.

Presuming that the disaster was averted, Masumi partook of his ramen with zeal. His slurping, however, was interrupted as Maya said:

"Well? You haven't answered."

Masumi narrowly avoided choking on his food for a second time. Maya was glowering at him, still bright red, but determination and pride had replaced humiliation and frustration. She was just as attractive as she'd been when she was on the verge of tears, if a lot more intimidating.

"Eh?" he said. "Y-you still want to know?"

"I've already made a complete fool out of myself, haven't I?" Maya said. "Might as well have something to show for it."

Feeling a little hot under the collar, Masumi played with a fish cake as he tried to figure out how he should get out of this tiny hell.

"You can't expect a man my age," he said, after a minute of tribulation, "to admit to either alternative to a girl your age, can you?"

His carefully crafted answer had the desired effect. Maya snapped out of whatever brash bravery had filled her before, her eyes flashing with panic before she bestowed her entire attention to her ramen.

"That's just a fancy way of saying 'pass'," she mumbled, before stuffing her mouth with all the noodles it could hold.

"Unfortunately," Masumi said, shamelessly seizing the opportunity to tease her, "I don't own your forthrightness. I must follow the laws of proper etiquette, something you seem to have been excused from."

Maya grimaced, but beyond giving him the evil eye (which he happily received), she refused to reply.

"But, my dear," Masumi continued, far too tenacious to let a lack of a verbal response stop him, "I must say, you've outdone yourself. Never before has anyone been so outrageously rude to me. It's very refreshing."

Maya looked as though she was going to ignore him again, when she suddenly spoke:

"Why have you started calling me 'my dear'? It's… it's weird."

"Have I? I've not noticed."

"Yeah, right, like how you've never noticed that you're constantly calling me 'shorty'?"

"Yeah, like that." Masumi showed off one of his toothy grins. "Why is my choice of nicknames that much of a bother to you? I'm sure you call me a whole lot of things I wouldn't approve of; why can't I call you something affectionate?"

"I'm… I'm not saying you can't, I'm just asking you: why?"

"… I guess you'll punch me if I say 'pass'?"

"Yes, I will. Right on the nose."

"You're serious, aren't you? Well, to avoid being manhandled by a little girl, I guess I'll have to tell the truth. Here goes: I call you 'my dear' because you can forget about falling into lake by merely being drawn into an argument, even though you're still dripping wet. That, coupled with the facts that you're wearing my jacket as though you were born in it and have your hair done up in a braid, makes me calling you 'my dear' an inevitability. I don't know why," Masumi touched the red ribbon that held Maya's hair together, "but I always feel sentimental when I see a braid."

"Do you make a habit of calling people ridiculous pet names?" Maya said, drawing her braid out of his reach. "Like, do you call Mizuki 'my precious', Mrs Himekawa 'sweetheart' and Ayumi 'little princess'?"

"Rest assured," Masumi chuckled, "this is a vice strictly limited towards you. No one else inspires that sort of silliness in me."

"Really? Not even those girls you kiss to pass the time?"

While Maya'd sounded flippant, casually slurping at her ramen immediately afterwards, Masumi had detected a strained undercurrent in her voice.

Now that's interesting, he thought, a glint of mischief in his eyes. I'll need to investigate this.

"I could ask the same of you," he said, mimicking Maya's airy tone. "Tell me, do you make it a habit to cross-examine older men about their sex life, or am I the exception that proves the rule?"

Maya looked up from her ramen, a noodle hanging from her lip, wordless shock making her unable to register the offending object. To hear Masumi Hayami, to whom all bodily functions seemed either unnecessary or foreign, say "sex" as naturally as anything was... bizarre. And yet, his stance in that moment, his forearms resting on the counter and his ankle propped up on his knee, spoke of someone completely at home in his own body. With a stab of jealousy, Maya realized that she had never felt like that, at least not offstage.

"Y-your ramen will get cold," was all she could say, and it would come back to torment her all throughout the night.

Masumi bit his lip, but said no more. He was well aware that he might've pushed the girl a little too far, despite promising himself not to upset her. To be fair, Maya had brought most of it on herself, what with "Then, you're a virgin?" and "Why do you call me 'my dear'?". At least she was finally showing an interest in finding out more about him (though he'd had to offer her the opportunity to do so on a silver platter). Perhaps Aoki had been right; Maya had become a lot more forthcoming to him after "Panna". Insinuations had been made about them being a couple, half the restaurant had heard her asking him about his virtue, he'd been perfectly brusque with her concerning her hiccups, and yet she was still here. Less than a month ago, Maya would've ran from him at the first sign of trouble; now, she sat through one of the worst embarrassments of her life, caused indirectly by him, without making a single move towards the exit.

It's probably just the ramen that's keeping her here, he reasoned. Like Utako kept her at "Panna". I can't give myself delusions of grandeur just because she laughed at one of my jokes. Though that was still pretty wonderful...

The rest of the meal was spent in silence, both of its participants deep in their own thoughts (and daydreams).

I'm not interested in his sex life, Maya told herself savagely, chewing at a piece of seaweed. God no! It's just… with the dream, and the way every woman seems to be staring at him as though he's an Adonis, it's only natural that I'd wonder how he interacts with them… Pure, impersonal curiosity… He could kiss a million women, and I wouldn't care in the slightest… I just don't want him to treat them like he treats me. Oh, hell, she drained a whole cup of hot jasmine tea, that's not what I meant! I just don't want him to think I'm some flighty girl that he can charm by showing off a bit of collar bone and nice smile! Not that he would, Maya shovelled the last egg halve into her mouth to hide a grimace, I mean, why should he? I'm just a shorty who apparently stopped growing when she was thirteen, Maya pinched hold of a fishcake, the points of her chopsticks breaking right through it, but sometimes… Sometimes it looks like he wants to… tohugme, or ARGH! I don't know!

She guzzled another cup of tea, the thought of Aaaah, I'm going mad! echoing through her mind. Masumi, however, was infinitely more serene, as his activity at the moment was to watch Maya inhale her dinner.

Ah, he thought, to be young and constantly harassed by your own mind again...

By the time Maya had reached the broth, she felt as though she was going to burst. She tried not to let it show, but gave it away when she clutched her stomach with a heavy sigh.

"That's what happens when you try to distract yourself with food instead of dealing with the problem directly," Masumi chided.

Maya scowled at him, noticing that while he would just be a few seconds behind her in finishing his portion, he didn't look the least bit ill or full.

"I have an ironclad constitution," Masumi explained, telepathically understanding Maya's grievance against him. "Dink, dink," he said, rapping his knuckles against his stomach.

Maya had to pout not to smile at the ludicrous sound effects.

"You have a very silly sense of humour, my dear," Masumi observed. "Are you satisfied, or do you want another bowl?"

"No, thank you," Maya said, her tone one better used to say "Drop dead, churl".

"Suit yourself."

He was about to raise his hand and call the greeter, when said man appeared by his elbow.

"Was the meal to your satisfaction, my friends?" he said, grinning from ear to ear.

"It certainly was," Masumi said, and he truly meant it. "How much do I owe you for it?"

"1690, sir."

With one fluid motion, Masumi retrieved his wallet from his back pocket, plucking out two 1000 yen bills.

"Keep the change," Masumi said (incidentally, this was a phrase he'd always wanted to say). "I'm in much too good a mood not to be generous to those who deserve it."

"W-well," the greeter said, overcome by a manner more felicitous than his own, "thank you very much, sir. I wish you both a continued pleasant evening."

"Same to you," Masumi said, rising. "Let's go, shorty."

Without him even being aware of it, Masumi reached out and grabbed Maya's braid, giving it a gentle tug. He snatched his hand away as soon as he became wise to what he'd done, knowing there would be dire consequences to pay for his unguarded action.

Maya hopped down from her chair before she turned to Masumi, the glare she directed at him nearly striking him down right then and there. He could've sworn there were flames dancing in her eyes, metaphorically hot enough to melt meat from bones. She was incised to the point of not even noticing the unflattering attention coming from the table of office ladies, who had scarcely eaten since she and Masumi had entered.

"Kindly do not pull at my braid," she growled through clenched teeth, resembling nothing more than a wild dog objecting to having its tail played with.

"Whoa, whoa, shorty!" Masumi said, his voice reverberating with mirth and caution. "I apologise most ardently for my crass behaviour. Believe me, it was unconsciously done; so let's not do anything we might regret, alright?"

Maya was far from satisfied, which showed in the purposeful way she approached Masumi. He jumped away from her, laughing as he addressed her with a call of surrender:

"My dear, I meant no harm, I swear! Look, I offer you my jugular!"

He tilted his chin up and sideways, pulling back his hair from his throat to show that he was putting himself at her mercy. The artfully performed trick worked; the fire disappeared from Maya's eyes, her snarl usurped by that strange half-frown, half-smile that came whenever Masumi did something that both irritated and amused her.

"Why do you always have to be so damn dramatic?" she despaired. "It's so embarrassing and annoying; though I guess it just comes to you naturally."

"Ugh!" Masumi grunted, reeling back, hugging himself. "To suffer the slings and arrows that spew from those perfect lips! That such inviting kissing cherries would drip with fatal venom, such beautiful eyes blaze with hatr—!"

"MOU!" Maya exclaimed, reaching the end of her fuse with a big bang. "Enough, let's go already!"

She shoved Masumi towards the entrance, all too aware of the fact that they were the centre of attention once again.

"Ah!" Masumi cried, a deep sadness moving him to clench his fists. "That such small, elegant hands should command such violence, such hands made to caress and love!"

It was an easy task for Maya to strong-arm Masumi out of the restaurant, as he was weak with laughter. Once she was sure he would stay out, she walked up to the greeter, who was as baffled as he'd ever been in his life, bowing to him with a smile as she said:

"Please tell the cook that I really enjoyed the meal. It was the best ramen I've ever tasted."

"I-I'll tell her," the greeter promised. "Good evening, miss."

"Good evening."

With that, she strode out, her haughty expression returning as she went to confront Masumi. It had become pitch-black outside, so it took her a while to locate Masumi, leaning against a decorative wooden pillar. When she saw him, she made a beeline for him, fists raised high and murder apparent in her eyes. She managed to get in a few ineffectual but satisfying hits before Masumi caught her wrists.

"Shorty," he admonished, his voice hoarse from too much activity, "use words, not force."

"Alright, fine!" Maya spat, struggling fiercely in Masumi's grip. "You're a contrary bastard who lives to humiliate me in every damn way there is! How's that?"

"What humiliated you the most? The virgin slip-up, the braid tug or my serenading your gentle," he broke off, chuckling, as he narrowly avoided being hit on the jaw, "gentle touch and kissable lips?"

Maya suddenly stopped dead, her face going blank. Masumi's breath caught in his throat as he tried to read what had caused her to give up her endeavour to hurt him.

She's not actually starting to take me seriously, is she? he thought. She never takes me seriously! Please, take it like a joke, even though I meant every word!

But it wasn't anything that Masumi had said that made her pause; it was her own imagination that had come back to haunt her. In her dream, she and Masumi had been in the same position as they were in now, only she hadn't been fighting him and they had been in a decidedly more horizontal plane. With a muffled squeak, she ripped her wrists out of his hold, her blush igniting once again.

"Y-you're so ridiculous!" she cried, to make up for her own weakness. "Mou! I don't even know why I bother! All you ever do is mock me or make me make a fool out of myself!"

With one final "Mou!", Maya steamrolled ahead, even though she had no idea where she was going.

"I really am sorry, shorty!" Masumi said, sprinting after her. "I'm a man jam-packed with weaknesses, and one of them is that I can't resist making you mad!"

"Go see a psychiatrist!" Maya barked. "That's a psychotic tendency, you know!"

"I'll follow your sage advice, but until then, what do you suggest we do to prevent further disagreements?"

"You could stop speaking for the rest of your life!" Though you'd probably manage to annoy me anyway!

"Nice idea, but I think you have to be religious to take a vow of silence. Besides, it'd be impossible. One look at your face, and words come shooting from my mouth."

"You're so mean!"

"What? By calling you attractive and agreeable, I'm doing you some great injustice?"

"Yes, because you only do it to bother me!"

"Do I? Do you find it so unbelievable that I admire you so much, I can't contain myself and must proclaim your virtues to the world at large?"

Maya might've paused and wondered about that, if Masumi hadn't done the most preposterous gesture with his eyebrows as he spoke.

"Idiot," was all she said, tired of being praised by someone who never seemed to mean a single word he said.

"It seems I've failed to convince you." Not that I tried that hard… "Very well; I'll at least know the truth. But I really can't stand to see you so sullen and silent. It's a crime against nature. How can I get you to speak again?"

Maya didn't, of course, answer him, so he was left to his own devices in thinking of a solution.

"I can change the subject, I guess," he mused. "But what would interest you? Something that's detrimental to my reputation, perhaps?"

A slight twitch betrayed Maya's interest.

"Oh? How fortunate then, that I suddenly remembered why I'm so attached to braids. When I was in first grade, my teacher, a lovely, tolerant women, always had her hair up in a braid. When I wanted her to pay attention to me, which was quite often, I tugged at it. I'm quite sure that if she wasn't patience itself, she would've clocked me countless of time."

"... Poor woman," Maya said, against her better knowledge. "And all she did to deserve it was having the misfortune of being liked by you."

"You might've noticed by now, that I have the habit of torturing the women I like. Maybe it's just because I'm drawn to women who have funny reactions when they're being teased. My teacher used to let out the funniest squeak when I pulled her hair... Though your reaction was far more masterful, shor..."

A sideways glance at Maya made Masumi trail off. At first, he was distracted by her extremely inviting facial expression, but then he realized why she was staring at him with wide eyed wonder.

"Like?" Maya breathed. "Y-you... do it because you..."

She couldn't say anymore. She resisted the temptation of looking at him by playing with the buttons of his jacket. Masumi appreciated this, as it meant he could grimace to his heart's content without her noticing.

"Looks like you're not the only one who slips up," he told her, once he'd calmed down. "It's much easier to do than I thought."

"Mm," Maya concurred.

The situation was rapidly slipping out of Masumi's control. He had to say something that would make Maya uncertain of him again, something that would keep her from figuring him out.

"Of course," Masumi said, rolling down his sleeves, "you're welcome to make whatever you want out of it. It'll mean nothing to me."

Maya's fingers ceased their activity. She raised her head, after securing a rather brittle mask of indifference on her face. Masumi, as cool and unconcerned as ever, was arranging his cufflinks, showing no sign of having just said something enigmatic and potentially cruel. Maya felt her chest swell with anger, biting down hard to keep her eyes from tearing up. Masumi sneakily observed this in the corner of his eye, and immediately felt his resolve wavering. It's not like anyone who'd seen him interact with her for five minutes could ever fail to see that he liked her exceedingly, so why not at least give her a clue in the right direction?

"I'm sure you'll be just as clumsily rude towards me no matter how much I like you," he said, "so I doubt it'd make any difference to me whether you know about it or not."

All the tension in Maya's body vanished at that, for reasons she herself couldn't completely chart out. She was so relieved that Masumi had only meant to play a mean prank on her, she asked him, as punishment:

"What do you like about me, then? And don't you dare say 'pass'."

Masumi let out a faint groan. Offer her a finger, and she'll gobble down the hand...

"It's... hard to pinpoint, really," he said. "Right now, however, it's your braid that has me enthralled."

He reached out and stroked Maya's braid before she could stop him, a look of deep contentment in his eyes.

"Ah," he sighed, "but there's nothing lovelier than a properly done up braid."

Fetishist! Maya thought, clutching her hair protectively. Without her knowing it, she was smiling, her hurt pride utterly forgotten. Masumi, she had to admit, knew exactly what to do to divert people. He'd probably never cease to surprise her, whether it came to his absurd sense of humour, his habit of forcing her on impromptu excursions or his affinity for dramatics.

I'd have never thought he was capable of being like this when we first met, she reminisced. He seemed so respectable and reserved… Though now that I think about it, she grimaced expressively, forcing Masumi, who'd been watching her in secret, to clamp a hand over his mouth, he was always laughing at me, from the first… How does he keep this side locked down? How come there isn't more gossip about him harassing office ladies or pretty actresses on account of their hair style? Though he's usually not this much of an obnoxious flirt… I wonder what the special occasion is?

Had Maya been a bit more analytical, she might've noticed that all the "special occasion" Masumi needed to be outrageously inappropriate was for her to agree to spend some time with him.

"Hey, shorty," Masumi said, nudging her, "do you hear that?"

Maya thought she'd need to strain her hearing to pick up on the sound Masumi was referring to, but all she needed to do to hear it was to emerge from her ponderings. Somewhere, violins and cellos were playing a beautiful melody, graceful and powerful.

"Ah!" Maya exclaimed. "I remember now; it's Akane Mogami's wedding party!"

"Hmm... the name sounds familiar," Masumi said, rubbing his chin.

"It should! She's one of Daito's most popular actresses."

"That's not it. The connection's far seedier than that, I fear... Ah!" He snapped his fingers, grinning. "A year ago, she gave me a hotel key, and offered to show her 'appreciation of my patronage' once the party we were attending ended."

Maya's eyes bugged out at this unexpected revelation, which had been delivered in a matter-of-fact tone of voice, as though Masumi was describing a day-to-day occurrence.

"W-what did you do?" she said, before her sense of sensibility could censure her.

She half expected him to smirk and say, "You can't expect a man of my age to tell a girl of your age about it, can you?", but Masumi choose to be candid instead of vexing (for once):

"As she disappeared before I could decline her request, I sent one of my assistants to the hotel room to tell her that regretfully, my schedule was too full to allow for such a meeting. She never renewed her offer after that."

"I should hope so! That's horrible, sending your assistant instead of going yourself! She must've been mortified!"

"Well, I really was busy. I would've gone in person, had I had the time to do so. Besides, she knew full well that I never accept such tête-à-têtes. It was pure vanity that drove her to ask me such a thing in the first place; I doubt she suffered much from having her ego deflated a bit."

"You're so brusque and cold, I wonder why everyone keeps on idolizing you."

"It's this face I've been cursed with," Masumi said, stylistically running his finger along his jaw line. "One look at it, and the majority of females, plus a surprising percentage of males, seem to forget themselves. You've no idea how exhausting it is to be a symbol of carnal lust."

"And you dare accuse Mogami of being vain?"

"That's what I have you for, shorty. Whenever I feel as though I'm the king of the world, you come and remind me that I am, in fact, the scum of the earth. Keeps me from slacking off."

With a heavy sigh, Maya gave up, knowing it was beyond her powers to ever make Masumi realize exactly how absurd a person he really was.

"Hey, shorty," Masumi said, nudging her once again, "let's check it out."

"Why should we? She probably hates you, and she doesn't even know me."

"I didn't mean 'check it out' as in 'go down and crash the party'. I meant 'let's take a quick peek at the festivities and be off''."

"You keep stalling for time! You're never going to let me go home, are you?"

"Pardon me, but I do believe that I was the one who suggested that we should return to your charming little place before dinner, and that you were the one who insisted we'd go through with it. Do not project your vices onto others, shorty, it's unseemly."

"Oh, yes, I went with you because I was eager to be mocked and ridiculed, not because I was starving. You know, you're so..."

She stopped right in her tracks as they reached a hillside, overlooking a huge stretch of lawn. On that lawn, surrounded by what seemed to be glass lanterns in a multitude of colours, was the expansive white tent.

"She could fit an entire orchestra inside there, alright," Masumi remarked. "I knew she'd go with a western style wedding. There's not a single traditional bone in her body."

"The music is really pretty, though. Do you know it?"

"Shorty, I'd like to think I have better things to do than to memorize classical music. However, judging from its rhythm, it's a waltz. Hey," he said suddenly, "I have an idea. How about we dance, my dear?"

Maya, feeling that her expression spoke for itself, said nothing to Masumi's suggestion.

"It's uncanny," he said, "but that's exactly how I thought you'd react. There's no need to give me that contorted look. I'm just curious if you, while training for Puck, have gotten any more agile, or if you're still as limber as a tree log. That's all. But I guess it can't be helped," he turned and started walking away, "if you don't want me to see that you haven't improved a whit..."

"Wait."

Maya's voice at that moment actually made Masumi's heart gain speed. Her appearance made him able to hear his own pulse, beat for beat. She'd discarded his jacket, revealing that her flower dress was far less modest than her usual wardrobe, showing off a decidedly indecent amount of shoulder and collar. But it was her face, confident and challenging, that really dishevelled him. She smiled sweetly as she held out her arms to him, saying:

"Would you like to eat your own words, Mr Hayami?"

Masumi took a moment to compose himself before he approached her.

"I think I'm a bad influence on you, shorty," he said as he took her hand in his. "You've become positively impudent."

Maya's artificially pleasant smile wavered as he put his hand on her hip.

"T-the time we danced before," she explained at his questioning gaze, "you put your hand on my back."

"You were a lot younger and shorter back then," Masumi said, "and besides," he adjusted his grip, "your hip and my hand seem to be a perfect match."

Maya had no way of interpreting that sentence on her own, and Masumi was being decidedly uncooperative, his face devoid of any clue as to if he was being serious or not. She investigated the truth of his statement, and soon wished she hadn't; she could clearly feel the warmth of his hand through her dress.

"I know I have an overwhelming physical presence," Masumi said, his voice giving away his amusement, "but do try not to space out. Now, let's begin, shall we?"

Without proper warning, Masumi stepped forward, nearly making Maya trip over her own feet. The only thing that saved her from that fate was a quick, instinctive hop back.

"Nice reflexes, shorty. Let's see if you can keep it up."

Maya hadn't danced since the night when she'd won the Best Supporting Actress Award, and she was sure Masumi knew about this. Even so, he kept the tempo high, and Maya had only been able to keep from either stepping on his feet or losing her balance by deviating completely from the actual steps of the dance. After a while, however, she'd memorized the rhythm of both the music and of Masumi's movements, enabling her to follow his lead with ease.

"You really are much better than before, shorty," Masumi pronounced. "You've always had a decent sense of rhythm, but not this... should I call it grace?"

Maya smiled, proudly raising her chin.

"It's thanks to my training as Puck," she said. "I've become quick, light and instinctive."

"Does that mean you can play him to the outmost of your abilities?"

"Beyond that. I've got him down pat, but I hear I'm always better in the actual show than in the rehearsals, so who knows how excellent I'll be?"

"Your confidence is at least at elite level. I wonder if it's genuine or just hot air?"

"Unlike some, I've no need to bluff. I'm just that good."

Masumi revelled in seeing Maya look so sure of herself, rebutting him without the slightest effort. However, he foresaw a danger in remaining like this for too long: it was only a matter of time before he would say or, worse yet, do something that would disrupt the fragile peace between him and Maya. He'd already endangered it with his cheesy line about the compatibility between his hand and Maya's hip (in his defence, he'd never had to come up with a one-liner before). He shuddered to think what he might do next.

"Let's try a spin, shorty," he suggested, figuring that the move would grant him the physical distance he'd need to break off the dance entirely.

"Eh? Do you spin in waltz?"

"You do when you waltz on a hill, but only," Masumi craned his head around, "after making sure no one's watching you."

Maya interpreted Masumi's request as a challenge, and therefore agreed to it immediately.

"We'll spin on three, alright? So, one, two, three."

It started out well. Maya followed his lead perfectly, even though she'd never done a spin before. It was the moment that she was meant to return to Masumi that made her stumble, as the heel of her sandal sunk into the earth. With a cry of "Mah!", she fell back, grabbing onto Masumi's shirt out of that same instinct that she'd prided herself on just a minute ago.

Masumi reacted instantly, throwing his arms around her, laughing as he pulled her up:

"It turned into a tango!"

Maya wondered at her dismal luck: to be caught in the same situation twice when it was the most inconvenient. She'd time to prepare against the closeness this time, though, using her forearms as sort of blockade between her and Masumi. She expected their "embrace" to be swift and painless; she grew increasingly agitated as Masumi showed no sign of letting her go.

"W-what exactly do you think you're doing?" Maya said to his chest, pushing at him. "Let go!"

"Be quiet for just a bit, shorty," Masumi implored of her, his face raised to the sky. "I think I heard thunder."

"Yes, but do we have to stay like—?"

"Shush, my dear, and yes, we must."

Obviously, Masumi was lying about the pressing need for their intimacy, but a distant flash of light, followed by a low rumble, forced it out of Maya's mind. She could feel his arms tighten around her, a delighted shiver running through him.

"By the looks of it," he said, finally releasing her from his embrace, "a thunderstorm's drawing close. I should return you to your friends, before you attain both a cold and a twisted ankle under my tender care."

He picked up his jacket, placing it on Maya's head to protect her from any eventual rain.

"I hope that tent is waterproof," Masumi mumbled, looking down at the wedding party. "By the way, shorty, congratulations."

While she was certain it was a trap, Maya asked, "What for?"

"On finally attaining a shape. I'm sure you've wanted one for a long time."

Maya regretted accepting the jacket as a makeshift umbrella, as it took both of her hands to keep it in place, making her unable to smack the back of Masumi's head.

"I've always had a shape!" she shrieked as she followed him down a long flight of stone steps, lined with heavily laden alms.

"Of course you've always had a shape," Masumi said, having the gall to act as though Maya's outrage surprised him. "I just meant that now, you have a shape one can discern with the naked eye. Though to be truthful, I didn't notice it until I touched you."

"Is that why you held me for so long when I tripped? Pervert!"

"Please; I couldn't feel anything but your bony arms. I was talking about when I pulled you out of the lake."

"Eh? What do you mean, when you pulled me out of the...?" Then it hit her: when Masumi had dragged her out, holding her by the ribs, the kneel of his hands had pressed up against her breasts. She covered her face with the jacket to cover her blush, pronouncing Masumi to be a "Pervert!" once again.

"I'm a pervert because I need to touch you to understand that you've grown into a woman? I value you for your mind, shorty, not for your scant forms; what's so perverted about that?"

Maya had to think about that, and as she did, rain started to pelt down on them. It was practically torrential, and it had Masumi thoroughly soaked by the time they reached the street. Maya was a bit better off, but rivulets of water were streaming down into her sandals. She was about to ask Masumi whether it was much further to his car, when he turned to her, slicking back his hair. Even though rain was dripping down his nose and chin, though he was shivering noticeably, he gave off a laugh, which was drowned out by the sound of downpour and thunder.

As talking proved to be a futile endeavour, Masumi lead Maya at a half run to where his car was parked. He knocked on the window by the driver, which resulted in the locks on the passenger door being unlocked. Masumi hurried Maya into the backseat, following her shortly afterwards.

"I'm sorry," he told the driver, his voice shaky with cold and happiness, "but I think I'll need a moment to collect myself before we drive off."

"Of course, sir," the driver agreed, his voice just as unstable as his master's, only for different reasons. "Are you alright? You look soaked to the—AH! It's you!"

The driver, who was young and extremely servile looking, stared at Maya, something horrified and accusatory in his eyes.

"Eh?" Maya said, pointing at herself. "W-what about me?"

"Y-you're the one who lent Master Masumi a s-strawberry umbrella when it was snowing."

"Ah, yes," Masumi said, "you were my driver that day, weren't you, Tazaki? Hey, shorty, you can stop writhing around and just drop my jacket on the floor. Too bad it isn't dry enough to mop up this great big puddle I'm spreading all over the upholstery."

Jolting into action, Tazaki grabbed a sport's bag from under his seat.

"Here, sir," he said, handing the bag to his master, blushing slightly. "I prepared this when I heard a storm might draw in on the radio, since you were planning to spend the afternoon in the park. It contains towels and spare clothes."

"I'm not exaggerating, Tazaki," Masumi said, rummaging through the contents of the bag with elation apparent on his face, "when I say that this is probably the most considerate thing anyone has ever done for me. Were it up to me, I'd make you my secretary post-haste. Mizuki has been decidedly lippy as of late."

"I'm just doing my job, sir," Tazaki said, trying to affect humbleness and failing, thanks to the self-satisfied turn of his smile.

"You're certainly doing more than that, and I will show my appreciation for it," Masumi said, handing a towel to Maya before he took one himself. "Poor dear; it seems that I'm not only a bad influence on you, but I also bring you bad luck. What are the odds of being nearly drowned twice in one day?"

"With you, those are probable, favourable odds," Maya sniffed, still sore about his comment on her "scant forms".

"Ah," Masumi breathed, vigorously drying his hair, "that such a lovely being should speak such toxic words of candidness!"

"Don't you dare start with that again!"

Masumi was about to say something devastatingly clever, when he noticed that Maya, her sandals carelessly kicked off, was running her towel down her legs and over her feet. He blanched at the sight, despite the fact that it was decidedly absent of any eroticism, returning to the contents of the sport's bag to cover up his moment of weakness.

"There's even underwear here," he said, unearthing a black shirt. "Hmm, though I don't suppose it's considered gentlemanly to remove one's trousers in the presence of a lady?"

"Definitely not!" Maya cried, sliding away from Masumi, afraid to be infected by his perverseness. "Don't even think about it!"

"You should really try and be a bit more modern, shorty. Very well, I'll belay dry trousers until further notice. However," he shuddered, starting to unbutton his vest, "I will change my shirt, if you don't mind.

"Try not to peek," he added, winking at her in a way that said "But I won't blame you if you do".

Maya's response to that was to stick her tongue out at him, then completely turn her back on him, covering her eyes with her hands.

"Hey, shorty, taking that many measures is insulting..."

"I'll not move an inch until you are dressed. I've no interest in seeing any part of you uncovered."

"Suit yourself. Tazaki, you can start to drive towards Tsukikage's old house."

"Yes, sir."

Masumi stripped out of his shirt with a "Mrm", dropping it unceremoniously to the floor.

"Shorty, as you're currently incapable of running away," he said, enveloping himself with his towel for warmth, "I'll take the chance to ask you about something."

"I thought I was supposed to be the one asking the questions," Maya grumbled, her voice muffled, as she'd put her forehead against her knees.

"The point of that game was to make our standing equal," Masumi said, following Maya's example by ridding his feet of his wet footwear. "But with your natural impertinence, you've unbalanced the scales."

"How so?"

"Do you remember the question 'Do you have a girlfriend?', and other such priceless classics? I may know every detail of your current life and career, but I've left your love life well alone. Now, however, I'm curious; how have the undeserving gone about courting this vision of loveliness?"

"... I'll tell you, if you promise to get into your damn shirt right now! Do you think it's comfortable, sitting like this?"

"That's a bondage you imposed on yourself, meaning that technically, it's none of my concern. No matter; I am helpless to deny you anything. However," he said, towelling himself off properly, "there's quite a lot of buttons on this shirt, so do you mind telling me about your relationship with Yuu now?"

"Sakurakouji and I never dated! We were just friends! We still are!"

So that's why you're getting so incredibly worked up about it, eh? Masumi thought, unable to hold back a frown. "Sorry; my mistake. As this is a fresh wound, I'm not sure I should bring it up, but what about Shigeru?"

It was easy for Masumi to know what Maya felt about the question even without seeing her face: the muscles in her back contracted, her shoulders hunching up. Masumi watched her intently, not sure what expression he had on. Pity, shame, bitterness, regret, love, or some unholy mix of them all? It was ironic; while he was always cursing others for being clumsy around Maya, here he was, bringing up one of the few subjects that would hurt them both equally. It was his fault that Maya had been forced to give Shigeru up, and it was nothing short of torture to make himself listen to the escapades of the former couple. But Masumi needed to know whether or not Maya had recovered, if she still loved Shigeru.

"Feel free to say 'pass'," he offered, slipping into the black shirt. Please, say pass.

For a few breathless moments, it seemed as though Maya was going to heed his advice. Unfortunately, Masumi had done too good a job creating a relaxed, confiding atmosphere, which invited her to share her troubles (even with the man who'd caused them):

"I really loved Shigeru. I think part of me still does. But... it was difficult before, trying to find some way to meet, trying to keep it private. I think it would be impossible today, with how differently our careers have progressed, and with my reputation... I don't think he'd even want to, considering how we ended..."

"He'd want to."

Maya raised her head, her eyes still covered with her hands.

"Shorty," Masumi said, his voice steady and unconcerned even though his expression was vastly different, "have no fear. I know for a fact that Shigeru still loves you. Had he the resources, he would've tracked you down long before. Your first love was a good man." If none too bright, he added uncharitably to himself.

Maya was incredibly intrigued but uneasy. She wanted to see what Masumi looked like, if his face would be contorted after saying such an uncharacteristic thing, but she definitely didn't want to risk catching a glimpse of him half naked. Her dream was disturbing her plenty already, without having any details added to it.

"Are you decent?" she asked him.

"In a fashion." Maya took that to be Masumi's annoying way of saying "Yes", so she whipped around, eager to see if he showed any sign of being discomfited.

In about three seconds' time, Maya's gaze travelled from Masumi's smiling face to his chest, and then to his torso. It took her another second to register the fact that he'd left his shirt completely unbuttoned, at which she squeaked:

"Eep!"

She curled up into a tight ball, pressing her arms over her eyes, edging away from Masumi.

"I'm sorry," she heard him say, the upholstery squeaking as he moved closer to her, "but did you just say 'Eep'? Because if you did, that's unbelievably adorable."

"You said you were decent!"

"I am. I'm decent at a lot of things: chess, for example. Oh, wait, you meant, am I decent in way of clothing? Well," he leaned over Maya with an impish grin, the loose folds of his shirt brushing against her back, "that's a definite 'no'."

"You suck! I'm an idiot to think you'd actually listen to my complaining without some evil motive!"

"Oh, no, shorty, I listened to you without anything like this in mind. I honestly wanted you to confide in me. It's just that you became so serious, I felt I needed to take your mind of it." He leaned even closer to her, enveloping her like a dome. "So tell me: what are you thinking about right now?"

"This is sexual harassment!" Maya cried, drawing closer to the car door, her eyes squeezed shut.

"Is it? I'm not touching you, and I'm not making any inappropriate remarks. You've got a weak case, my dear."

"You're horrible! I hate you!"

"Please, don't hate me because you resent the fact that you think I'm beautiful."

"Yeah, right!"

Masumi was about to resume his unorthodox, grade school torture, when Maya let out a whimper that made his stomach tighten. He searched for a gap in her defensive wall of arms, and saw that her face was beet red.

"I'm so sorry, shorty," he said, backing off to the other side of the car, buttoning his shirt as fast as he could. "I honestly didn't think you'd find it this distressing."

It took Maya a while to get into sitting position, but when she did, she was a truly engaging figure. Beyond her cheeks, her chest was riddled with patches of crimson, her hair and clothes dishevelled. Masumi swallowed, pressing up against the car door, feeling that the look of utter fury in Maya's eyes had the potential to obliterate him.

"How did you think I'd react?" she yelled, violently pulling back her fallen shoulder strap. "Moron!"

"I'm sorry!" Masumi said, at once fearing for his life and struggling not to laugh. "I honestly thought you'd just punch me in the gut when you'd had enough!"

"How could I, when you were practically naked?" Maya huffed, trying to salvage her braid. "Ooh, you're such a brute! I can just picture you leaning over the poor office ladies at Daito, making disgusting innuendoes while they're trying to type out memos! You must be the worst boss in the entire world! I bet there are thousands of sexual harassment law suits filed against you every year!"

This proved to be too much for Masumi: he threw back his head and laughed boisterously.

"What's so funny?" Maya shouted, her fists shaking with anger. "Damn pervert! If you don't stop that right this instant, I'll," she looked about her for a suitable weapon, and found it in Masumi's sodden jacket, "I'll throw this at you!"

"Wah!" Masumi cried out, moving to stop her. "Don't, shorty! I just became nice and dry again! A thousand apologies for all the trouble this lowly servant has caused you. Let's end this journey as neutral acquaintances."

"T-that isn't fair!" Maya protested (though she still let the jacket drop to the ground). "You always start these fights, and then, before I can properly vent my feelings, you just go and smile or apologise, making me completely unable to hit you or anything!"

"Why should that be?" Masumi asked, tilting his head. "Why should my smile or my words mean anything to you? You hate me."

"I... I don't know!" Maya was trembling, her expression almost exactly the same as when she'd embarrassed herself at "The Celestial". "It's just that you're so damn charismatic and, and absurd, I can never win against you!"

"I wasn't aware of us being in competition with one another."

"Of course we are! Every time we met, we try to be the one in charge. Only you're older, smarter and wilier than me, and you just never lose your cool."

"That's far from the truth, shorty."

"Oh, really? Name one time you've lost control."

"I could name a hundred. Though maybe it shouldn't be called 'lost control', but rather... 'succumbed to an unwise urge'. Shorty, it's hardly profitable for me to have you be mad at me all the time, just because I can't keep my mouth shut."

"Ah! You've talked about this before, lulling me into the false hope that you might not act like a complete bastard in the future!"

"I did try my best, my dear. I didn't provoke you into using violence until after dinner, and you were at your very worst."

"I was at my worst? You've hardly spoken if not to tease me!"

"You wore me down, shorty! Falling into a lake, looking as though you'd betrayed land and country when you laughed at my joke, inviting me to dance in a distinctly roguish manner... If I didn't tease you at times like that, I would most certainly have to ki..."

Masumi stopped dead, all expression and colour draining from his face. He slowly raised his fingers to his lips, slumping back, as though he'd no power left in his body.

"Eh?" Maya said, her brow knotting. "What happened?"

"Nothing," Masumi mumbled. He chuckled, passing his hand over his forehead. "Nothing at all. My life just flashed before my eyes."

"What? That makes absolutely no sense!"

"You've no idea how much of a relief it is to hear you say that." Masumi sat up, letting out a great breath. "Disregard everything I said after 'You wore me down'."

"Eh? What do you mean?" Maya narrowed her eyes, trying to interpret Masumi's distress without success. "'If I didn't tease you, I'd have to—'"

She lost her train of thought when Masumi's hand encircled her shoulder. He wore the strangest of smiles, pinched and awkward, his voice matching it perfectly when he said:

"Please, shorty, don't ask me anymore."

She was about to say "Alright", out of pure instinct, when it occurred to her that here was the situation she'd been waiting ages for: she finally had a hold over Masumi, and quite a potent one too. She no longer needed to know what he'd meant to say; as long as she could drive him to distraction with it, she was satisfied.

"'If I didn't tease you,'" she repeated, rolling the words around in her mouth, "'I'd have to' what? Tell me; I want to know."

The look Masumi gave her, astonished and aggravated, was pure heaven.

"I misspoke, shorty," he said, attempting loftiness. "It's easy enough to do, as I'm sure you know."

His attempt to bait her was deflected, as Maya was enjoying her new task far too much:

"But you can still tell me: what would you have to do, if you didn't tease me?"

"I would have to cry, as I'd be bored to tears. Drop it, shorty."

"Would you? But that's not what you said, was it? It was 'ki' something, wasn't it? Now, what begins with 'ki', I w—?"

"Please, Maya."

Without any of them knowing quite how, Masumi's hands had ended up cupping Maya's face, his fingers splayed across the back of her head, his thumbs against her temple.

Though they didn't speak for quite some time, their internal monologue was at full volume:

Exactly what am I doing? Masumi thought. Oh, god, but I'm not going to kiss her, am I? No, of course not! I'm a grown man; I can control myself. So how come I can't move my hands?

What is he trying to do? Maya's mind screamed. Is he trying to mess with me? Is he playing a joke? Ah, yes, any second now, he'll smile like a jerk and say, "It's a little too early for you to do love scenes, isn't it?"! I'll never give him that satisfaction! So how come I can't move?

"If... If you're just..." She cleared her dry throat and tried anew, "If you're just being mean, then let go. Right now."

Masumi looked so genuinely stunned at her suggestion, she knew she'd been mistaken about his motive.

"And if I'm not 'just being mean'?" he asked. He moved closer, tilting Maya's face up to be able to meet her eye. "Does that mean it's alright to keep it up?"

"Eh?" Maya flushed, grabbing Masumi's wrists. "T-that's not..."

She tugged weakly at his hands, but only succeeded in moving them down onto her throat. With a great measure of mortification, she could feel her pulse beat rapidly against his palms, and she was sure he could feel it too.

"Shorty...?" To try and gauge a reaction out of her, he ducked down his head, close enough to guarantee discomfort. "What's wrong?"

He was so confident in his question being answered with a slap, he even steeled himself for it. The blow never came, despite his precautions.

"Mm." Maya looked away, but she offered no more resistance. In fact, something in the way she angled her jaw and spread her fingers over his arms seemed... inviting.

Masumi experienced a full out mental freefall. He'd never thought he would need to stop himself from accepting an advance from Maya, of all the people born in the free world, and as such, he wasn't the least bit equipped to deal with it rationally. Rather than wondering why someone who normally had no qualms loudly declaring her hatred towards him would, without precedent, seek him out physically, he moved with the intent of kissing her.

The one thing that saved him from destroying his existent relationship with Maya was the sudden stop of the car, which nearly toppled both of them out of the seat.

"Sorry, Master Masumi!" Tazaki apologised, turning around to assess the damage of his ungraceful parking. "W-we, um, we're there..."

"Where?" Masumi asked, unable to access his higher mental functions at the moment. "Oh, yes, Tsukikage's old house, right, thank go—I mean, good. Are you alright, shorty?"

To prevent himself from falling onto a bed of wet clothing, Masumi had been forced to abandon his hold on Maya to grab onto the driver's seat. Maya had acted similarly, propping herself up on the passenger seat, and was as incapable as he was at forming a comprehensive thought.

"Y-yeah," she stammered, pushing her bangs away from her eyes with an unsteady hand. "I'm fine. You?"

"Can't complain. It looks like we outran the storm."

Maya peered out the back window, and saw that he was right. She could dimly make out the rain still falling in the distance, but the storm clouds had yet to reach the humbler part of Tokyo.

"We better hurry to your friends, shorty. Any longer, and they'll think I've kidnapped you."

"Yes, of course... um, goodbye, Mr Tazaki."

"G-goodbye, miss. I hope you continue to have a pleasant evening."

"See you soon, Tazaki. I'll just sneak inside with shorty."

"Ah, but sir, you haven't got your shoes on!"

Masumi started, glancing down at his bare feet.

"Huh," he said, "so I haven't. No matter. It's a very small distance to walk. Let's go, shorty."

Maya nodded, having just enough presence of mind to grab her sandals on the way out of the car. Tazaki held his breath, waiting until the car door closed behind his master before he slumped over the steering wheel with a groan.

Tazaki was a man who was attentive to details, but even if he'd been blind, he would've been unable to miss the fact that apparently, his employer was in love with Maya Kitajima. It was unmistakeable in the way he looked at her, the way he taunted her, and definitely in the way he touched her. Tazaki, who'd been with Masumi for quite a while as both a driver and an assistant, had never seen him be as… well, as giddy as he'd been now, returning from a storm with a girl who casually pronounced him to be an absurd pervert.

Tazaki had three different options that he could choose to follow: (1) He could sell the story to the tabloids, as the media was desperate for dirt on the vice-president and willing to pay a fortune for it, (2) he could tell Masumi exactly how obvious he was being and urge him to break of all contact with Maya, as the actress was hardly suitable, or (3) he could pretend he'd seen nothing and take his master's secret to the grave.

Option nr 3 was the instant winner. Should he take this to the press, Masumi would spare no expense to have him crushed like a bug. Moreover, Tazaki doubted anyone would believe a word of it, unless he backed it up with photographic evidence.

He considered option nr 2 briefly, but felt that it be outrageously out of place for him, who was near the bottom of the company hierarchy, to give his boss love advice. Besides, Tazaki doubted that Masumi would've been as unguarded if someone who could've caused him real damage had been in the car. Tazaki was loyal, and even if he hadn't been, he was too ambitious to let his career go to waste just for the sake of the gossip of the year.

There was another reason for him to keep mum about what he'd seen (other than to keep his job and to not make a complete fool out of himself). Masumi, while good-humoured and oozing of competence, always walked around with a huge weight on his shoulders. The weight hampered his expression, making him smile when he should laugh, making him frown when he should scream, making his face completely blank when he should cry. With Maya, that weight lifted and disappeared, enabling him to laugh without reservation, forcing him to grimace involuntarily, making him reach out and touch someone without being able to help himself. More or less, Maya inspired him to act as a human being.

Surely, that couldn't be a bad thing?

OXOXO

Mina, Sayaka and Taiko had had plenty of time to prepare for Maya and Masumi's arrival. They had discussed it all throughout dinner, and had come up with a simple but effective game plan: When the actress and the vice-president came back for the tie, they would be waiting for them in the kitchen/living room, which you had to pass on the way to the bedroom/study. They would then extract Maya from Masumi, and Mina would go fetch the tie. Then all that could follow would be a tepid chorus of "Good night", leaving Masumi with no excuse to stay any more than two minutes in the apartment.

Rei had tried to dissuade them from going through with it, as it would be poignantly rude to Masumi and humiliating for Maya, but her friends were determined to follow it out.

However, while their plan was solid in theory, it hadn't taken into account how to proceed if Masumi entered the kitchen/living room with wet, curling hair, mismatched pants and shirt, no shoes or socks and a smile that radiated satisfaction with the world.

"So the entire cavalry is here," was his greeting to the stunned women. "Good evening, and thank you for lending me the company of your friend. She's only threatened to bodily harm me twice, which I think shows a strong, reserved character."

No one knew how to respond to that, other than murmuring, "You're welcome...?" and, in Rei's case, smothering a laugh.

"Be so kind as to shut up," Maya said to Masumi, before turning to her friends. "Hey, hey, there's a thunder storm just a few blocks away! You can see it if you look out that window!"

Rei was, at first, the only one who moved to confirm Maya's words. Her exclamation of "Whoa!" drew the others to look as well. As they were all creative people, they were drawn in by the beautiful sight, forgetting about their mission to expel Masumi from their apartment as quickly as possible. Said man took advantage of their distraction, his voice low as he spoke to Maya:

"As there's not all that much to choose from, I'm assuming that the door down the corridor leads to your room?"

"You would be correct," Maya sniffed. "Come on; the sooner we get your stupid tie, the sooner you'll leave me alone."

"I'm sure I'm just imagining it, shorty, but there seems to be an antagonistic tone in your voice..."

Maya didn't dignify that with a response, her chin held proudly, and convincingly, aloft. She strode into the bedroom/study, her hand automatically reaching out and turning on the light switch. The room was modest, to say the least, but it was well taken care of and clean.

Maya retrieved the tie from the top drawer of her desk (the one piece of actual furniture in the room), presenting it to Masumi as though it was a jewel encrusted crown.

"It's in the exact same condition as when you last saw it," she said, smiling smugly. "There isn't a single crease in it."

"Well done," Masumi said, nodding almost imperceptibly. "I was sure you would've either pawned it or cut it up into pieces by now."

He then proceeded to stuff it into his soaked pant pocket. At Maya's gasp of outrage, he said:

"I don't have to safe keep it for anyone. Now, I guess I should repay you for your care."

"You ought to be charged annoyance tax," Maya muttered, holding out her hand. "Fork it over."

"And you should be charged with 'being much too adorable for this plane of existence' tax," Masumi chuckled, taking out his wallet. "'Eep'! If I so live to be a hundred, I'll never hear anything so endearing again."

Maya seriously considered punching Masumi in the stomach while he was occupied by his wallet. She was forced to abandon the violent act, as Rei entered the room when she'd only had time to pull back her arm.

"It seems that you've had a relatively good time," Rei commented, smiling in a way Maya didn't recognise and found a bit disconcerting.

"I had a wonderful time," Masumi said, returning Rei's smile with an even more disturbing quirk of the lip. "I'm not sure shorty can say the same, though she did get properly fed. Hey, Mistress Kitajima, here's the shiniest coin of my scarce collection. Buy yourself something nice."

He plopped a 100 yen coin into her open palm, awarding her glare with a perfectly executed wink. It was at this unfortunate moment that Mina, Taiko and Sayaka decided to stumble into the room. His speech, and especially his roguish eye movement, evaporated whatever intention they had of casting him out of their (well, their friends') housing.

The only ones that did get angry, rather than taken aback, by Masumi's behaviour were Rei and Maya. Maya felt no need to be surprised, as she'd already discovered how much of an inappropriate bastard Masumi could be during the course of the evening. Rei, on the other hand, was supremely miffed, as she suspected that his change of pace had come about because of her letting it slip exactly how good a sport Maya was.

"You should probably leave now," she said, a slight overture of acidity to her voice, "before the storm reaches here."

"Of course," Masumi agreed, bowing his head in recognition of Rei's wise prudence (making her eyebrow twitch). "Ah, but shorty, I simply must ask you a question before I go."

"What do you want?" Maya turned her head away from him, tossing back her braid in a fluid, superior manner, her hand on her hip. "Make it quick."

Masumi bit the inside of his lip; he could never get enough of this haughty and confident Maya, and loved that he was probably the only one who could make her act like this. He lowered his gaze, afraid his eyes might show something he definitely didn't want her friends to see, letting out a shaky breath.

"It's a bit... private," he said. "Maybe it would be better if you followed me to the car—"

"I think it would be best if Maya stayed indoors," Rei interrupted. "She's already wet. It's best if she doesn't risk ending up soaked again."

Sayaka took this to be a rallying cry, and hurried to support Rei:

"Maya stays here. Anything you can say to her, you need to be able to say in front of us."

"And so the cavalry finally comes trumpeting to the rescue," Masumi said, decidedly unimpressed and amused. "I wonder, what took you so long? I'd expected you to swoop Maya out of my clutches the very moment we entered the apartment."

Mina, Taiko and Sayaka faltered, and Rei reddened slightly in sympathy of her friends' embarrassment.

"My god," Maya groaned, rolling her eyes, "but is it your goal to annoy every living thing?"

"Just the living things that I like," Masumi objected. "The rest, I will allow to be at peace. But it seems as though we've skirted rather a lot from the actual subject at hand, something I take full responsibility for. The thing is, I think you'll appreciate being asked this question, but I doubt you'd enjoy having your friends overhear it."

"Why would I care if they overhear?"

"You know the conversation we had in the car? The one to, so to speak, 'even the score'?"

Maya's eyes widened with comprehension, and she stammered slightly when she said:

"T-then, what was it that you wanted to ask me?"

"... Will you allow me to whisper it to you?" At Maya's contorted expression, he added, "I'm doing this for your benefit, you know. I don't care if the whole world hears me, but I think you'd like to keep it a secret."

"Ugh, fine!" Maya bit out, colouring in apprehension nonetheless. "Just don't get too close. And don't wheeze into my ear."

"I'll keep my distance and mind my breathing. There's no complaints from the cavalry, is there?"

Said cavalry repressed a collective growl, but kept their cool, knowing that they would come off looking like fools no matter what they said.

"Other than that we resent being called 'the cavalry'," Rei said, "no." She wanted to add, "Keep your hands where I can see them," but knew he'd be tickled rather than offended, and that Maya would be alarmed by it.

Masumi smiled, tying his hands behind his back before leaning down over Maya. His mouth was an inch or so away from Maya's ear when she stopped him, murmuring "That's close enough".

"So, what you said in the car," Masumi whispered, his voice audible to the other's in the room but not loud enough for them to make out any words, "about Yuu and Shigeru being the only boys you've ever been intimately related with, that's true?"

"I-I never said that," Maya protested, whispering despite there being little need for her to do so. "But yes, it's true. What of it?"

Though she couldn't see his face, and though he wasn't even close enough for his breath to touch her cheek, she could swear she felt him smirk.

"Then," he whispered, his tone, though faint, making her stomach clench, "you're a virgin?"

As he valued his life, Masumi hastily pulled away, grabbing Maya's wrists to safeguard himself from injury. Maya was too confused to act for a second, but once she realized the immenseness of the cheek that had just been directed at her, she scowled at Masumi, but didn't try to fight her restraints. For some reason, that worried Masumi.

"Remember," he said, "you asked me first. It's only fair that I get to ask you the same thing, right?"

Maya merely nodded, the lust for blood apparent in her eyes intensifying.

Feeling rather as though he was poking a tiger, Masumi continued, "Then, what's your answer?"

Before she answered, she lowered her fingers to his wrist, rasping her fingernails warningly against his skin. Masumi took the hint and released her, taking a step back to be on the safe side. Maya smirked, taking hold of her elbows, angling her hips in a way that showed that she was indeed a woman, and not a thirteen year old squirt.

"Who knows?" she intoned melodically, doing her best impression of a femme fatale (which was very good indeed).

In a split second, Masumi had gone through a mental index of all the possible reactions he could have towards that blatant provocation (most of them involved either laughing his head off or hugging her senseless). Her friends had no such index, so they followed their first instinct, which meant that their jaws dropped at seeing their timid, sweet little Maya displaying such decidedly forward and sassy behaviour.

In two seconds' time, Masumi had found the reply that would bring about the most amusing results:

"Why, shorty, are you hitting on me?"

Maya abandoned her act immediately, sputtering wildly and unintelligibly:

"Wh-eh-huh? I-I'm not! Really, I'm not!"

Masumi had every intention of prolonging her suffering with another comment about her seediness, but her face was so comical, he couldn't bring himself to continue. He sniggered, shaking his head, as though disappointed by his own lack of composure.

"While this is an interesting development," he said, arching an eyebrow suggestively, "I fear I really must leave now. Good night, ladies, and I wish you all the best. Ah, and shorty, thanks for answering my question."

"Eh? B-but, I didn't..."

"Sure you did. Just now, your entire being screamed out: 'Yes, I am! Definitely, without the shadow of a doubt, yes!'"

While Maya was busy releasing all manner of indignant, horrified noises, such as "Keh!", "Wha!" and "Eh?", Masumi broke through "the cavalry", murmuring, "Excuse me" as he escaped out into the hall.

"Hey!" Maya shouted, running after him, just as he'd predicted she would. "You can't just decide something like that for yourself! I mean, just because I'm shy doesn't mean I, you know, um..."

She caught up with him at the top of the stairs, mostly because he'd waited for her there, nearly stumbling down the steps since she'd been forced to stop so suddenly.

"My dear," he sighed, watching her recover with affection, "you have the bad habit of being completely swept up by the pace of other people. You should create your own rhythm."

"It's not a habit," Maya hissed, "it's you! You're always using mean tricks on me!"

"What are these 'tricks' you're referring to? I've no knowledge of ever using any against you."

"How about how you tell loud, embarrassing stories about me unless I speak to you? Or how you say the most irritating things just to put me off balance? Or how you refuse to call me by my real name, naming me 'shorty', 'pup' and 'my dear' instead?"

"Those aren't tricks, my dear shorty. Those are baits. All you need to do to make them stop is to resist taking them. It's basic school yard psychology."

Maya sucked in a huge breath, partly collapsing onto the banister, weak from the effort it took to try and fail to convince Masumi that he was a pest.

Okay, fine, she thought, rising from her prostrate position. If he wants to blame it all on me, then I'll just have to do what I intended to do from the beginning: act calm and controlled.

"Thank you, Mr Hayami," she chirped, smiling socially, "for an absolutely horrible evening. I can't remember the last time I've been so thoroughly humiliated."

"Think nothing of it," Masumi chirped back. "I, on the other hand, have had the most entertaining night of my life, and am reluctant to part with the cause of it."

"You're kind to say so, but I suspect that you're either exaggerating, or that you've got a twisted sense of humour."

"That reflects badly on yourself, as you have the same sense of humour as I have."

"I find that a bit hard to believe, as I don't enjoy torturing myself."

"I find that hard to believe, but so as to avoid another argument, I'll just say this: Onodera."

Maya slapped her hand to her mouth before it could betray her. After a minute or so of calm breathing, she was collected enough to say, her voice airy and detached:

"What of him?"

How is it, Masumi marvelled, that someone who's so incredibly transparent has the ability to amaze you beyond measure?

"Oh, nothing," Masumi said, shaking his head. "Again, thank you for agreeing to dine with me. I hope we can do it again."

"I would say 'likewise', but I would be lying. Goodbye, and I hope we never meet again."

Masumi just laughed, as though Maya had told a delightful little joke. "You say that, but you would miss me if I were gone. You'd have no one to curse at, no one to punch and practise your sarcasm on. In order words, no one to relieve you of your stress."

"Goodbye," Maya repeated, a bit more firmly this time. Masumi would've been discouraged by the curt reply, hadn't Maya begun playing with the seam of her dress, telling him that she saw the truth of his statement.

"Goodbye, shorty," he said, allowing himself to smile at Maya with all the joy he truly felt. "Take care of yourself."

About 40% of the world's population would've been floored by that smile. For a short, hopeful moment, Maya looked as though she would join that percentage, but she managed to pull herself together, muttering, "Likewise." She wasn't completely unaffected by it, however, watching him descend the stairs even though she was free to leave.

"If you're that concerned," Masumi called back as he reached the front door, "you can follow me out to the car, shorty."

Maya's oh-so-mature rebuttal to that was to blow a raspberry at him, returning to her apartment with a loud, prideful huff. Masumi stood watching the closed door lovingly, before he caught himself with an awkward laugh and hurried back to his car.

He'd be pleasantly surprised to know that Maya was more adept at hiding her feelings than he would've given her credit for. Once she'd left his sight, her eyes opened wide, her mouth parting to expel a deep and soulful "Gahahaaa!".

"Maya, what's the matter?"

She jumped, having momentarily forgotten that there were other people in the world beside her and Masumi. Her friends, with their expressions of touching worry, made her experience such relief, she decided that she would hug each and every one of them for being such nice, uncomplicated people. She pulled loose the red ribbon from her braid, taking a few unsteady steps towards Rei, declaring solemnly into her shoulder:

"I'll never tie my hair into a braid again. It's much too dangerous." She giggled as she went over to embrace Mina, exclaiming, "Poor office ladies! How they must suffer, just to keep their hair in place!"

Mina, Taiko and Sayaka turned to Rei for guidance, as she was the foremost expert on Maya. Rei shrugged, just as bewildered as the rest of them, mouthing, "Just play along." She had the distinct feeling that they'd hear all about in due time.