31 ways to annoy the Volturi:

1. Calmly tell Aro that his flies are undone and have been for the past decade and when he angrily asked why you didn't tell me earlier say Edward would have known.
2. Spew nonsense and then when they ask politely what you're on about reply stubbornly 'the Cullen's would have understood.'
3. Run in the hall holding a big wooden cross and yell BE GONE SATEN!
4. Pat Alec on the head and tell him one day he'll be a real boy.
5. Tell Jane she has a wonky tooth.
6. Dye their capes pink.
7. Pinch Jane's cheek and make patronising remarks.
8. Mafia slap Cauis.
9. Sing thriller every time some one enters a room.
10. Preach
11. Tell them their cloaks are so yesterday.
12. Ask Cauis when he got his first grey hair.
13. Every time someone goes to speak proclaim loudly it's alive!
14. Refer to everyone as Dracula or Draculette
15. Ask Felix how's the cat food doing.
16. Tell Cauis Edward called his mom.
17. Tell Aro Dracula called – he says he wants his cloaks back.
18. Ask Jane if she wants a Barbie
19. Ask why Jane and Alec aren't at school yet.
20. At the end of each sentence someone says mutter 'yeah but the Cullen's could do it better'.
21. Refer to Cauis and Aro as 'the artefacts'
22. When in evil meeting, put an I pod in and hum loudly.
23. Ask Aro if he has a separate cloak for his drag act.
24. Go up to them individually and tell them, mummy loved you really.
25. Every time they go somewhere say dramatically 'to the bat mobile!'
26. Tell Jane her victims aren't in pain; they just die laughing.
27. Put up a chalk bored saying 'Cullen's: 5, Volturi: 0
28. Follow them and flick everything they touch with holly water.
29. For Halloween, give them all Lycra suits with a 'V' on them in the style of the superman 'S'.
30. Pour glitter over yourself and walk into the sun.
31. Shave Aro balled - they can't grow hair back