SaiHika
Disclaimer: Hikaru no go does not belong to me.
Warnings: a bit of slash, doses of angst
"He taught me how to love, but not how to stop"
I was such a selfish child. Ignorant, Insensitive. No wonder you hadn't stayed with me.
If I promise to let you play forever and ever, would you come back and stay by my side? You entrenched yourself into my being so deeply, it's as if you were almost a part of me.
No, you are a part of me.
And you're gone.
Gone gone gone gone gone gone GONE.
Part of my soul is missing.
I can never see your gentle smiles again, or how your eyes would sparkle like the stars in the sky when you were happy. I could never feel the touch of your soft hands on me again as you whine like a child as you plead with me to let you play. I could never run my hands through your long hair again during those nights when you seem so sad that I want to hold you until the air of melancholy around you vanishes in the moonlight. I could never hear you say my name so gently that it almost hurts.
I could never understand why my chest would ache so sweetly during those times. I was a child then, but I already knew, deep inside, that you were the one I wanted to be with forever..
What am I supposed to do without you by my side? If I had a chance to do it all over again, I would let you play through me forever.
I love you - love not that of a friend, or a family, but one of a lifetime companion. That's what I thought you were. I thought that we would be together forever.
Maybe that's why I was so insensitive. I thought we had forever. I thought we had time. I thought I could tell you about how deeply I felt for you when I grow up.
All empty assumptions.
I want you back. I need you. I love you. I adore you.
If I make a thousand paper cranes, would the Gods hear my wish? Give me a part of my soul back. Give you back. Give me my heart back.
Give Sai back to me. Let him come back to my side.
I know that I would never be able to love anybody this way again - not this way, because Sai was the center of my universe - and nobody could ever make me feel this way except for him.
Sai.
I love you.
If I'd Never Met You
If I'd never met you,
I wouldn't feel the pain
Of losing your sweet love;
I wouldn't feel insane.But if I'd never met you,
I wouldn't know the pleasure
Of ecstasy's warm gifts
And memories to treasure.Now moving on with life,
I force a wistful grin,
Questioning what went wrong
And wondering what might have been.
By Joanna Fuchs
Review?
