Disclaimer: I am not Gainax. I do not own Evangelion.
AN: I renamed this story from Evangelion Re (I never did figure out why I chose that name) to the Forgotten Angel. The newest chapter should clear that up a little bit. Thanks for reading this hot mess of a story. Give good old Seeking Professional Help a round of applause while I go and seek help from a professional.
The Forgotten Angel Chapter One: Flashback
Taking a deep breathe, I look at my reflection. All I see is a piece of trash. I reach into my pocket and grab my tool, a old rusty boxcutter. I extend my left arm and see a collection of slices along my forearm. I place the boxcutter against my wrist and, slowly, slide it across my skin. I grin as I see the blood flow out of the gash and drip down to the floor. I let loose a sigh as I grab a towel to clean up the blood. As I wipe up the floor I end up accidentally getting some of the crimson liquid on my shirt. "Shit.", I say as I mop it up with the towel. After I remove the towel all I see is a faint red stain. 'If anyone ask I'll just say it's from lunch.', I think as I toss the bloodstained linen in the garbage. I grab my jacket from beside the mirror and slide it on. I fix the sleeves as I turn to leave the room. Standing in the doorway was my roomate.
Several Days Ago
I stand in the kitchen in front of the stove, getting ready to prepare dinner for my two roomates and me. "What's cooking?", I hear a familiar voice ask. "Nothing yet." I say as I turn around to see Misato Katsuragi. She was my guardian, and also my boss. She walks past me and opens the refrigerator. She takes out a beer and drains it in seconds. She pulls out another one and pops it open. "Take it easy on those beers.", I tell her as I open the cabnet and look inside. I take out the contents trying to figure out what I wanted to cook. I wince as I hit my right wrist against the cabnet door. I then say, "I don't really feel like cooking tonight Misato. Just heat up some leftovers or something." She then looks at me, seemingly worried, and asks, "Are you alright?" "I feel fine.", I say as I turn away and walk to my bedroom door. I hear Misato say, "Alright then, where did I put my beer?" I think aloud, "Why made me think that she gave a damn? All she cares for is her fucking beer!"
Misato looks at me and asks, "What did you just say Shinji?" I shake my head and tell her, "I didn't say a word." I open the door to my bedroom and slip inside. I silently shut the door and said, "That was a close one. She almost heard me." I sit down beside my futon and reach underneath it. I pull out my most prized possession, an old rusty boxcutter. I peel of my shirt and undo the sleeves I made from an old shirt. They were black and covered up to a little below my shoulders. I glance at the collection of cuts covering a majority of my skin. I place the blade against the crook of my elbow and bring it down my arm, slicing deep into my arm. I grin as the blood gushes from the incision. I place the tool into my pocket and watch myself bleed. I then pull on the sleeves to cover myself. I sit on my futon and think about my situation.
I wonder, 'Why do I do this? How does it help me at all? All it does is hurt me. But that helps me. It lets me retain my ability to feel. To know somthing asides from hate.' I lay down and stare at the ceiling. I sigh as I hear my other roomate arguing with Misato. The door to my room opens. I get a glance at Asuka Sohryu, the pilot of Evangelion Unit 02. She was also the source of my pain. She glares at me and tells me, "What the hell are you doing? Get the fuck off your ass and make dinner!" I just roll over and tell her, "Not tonight Asuka. I just want to sleep." She walks over to me and towers above me. She then stomps on my face, busting my nose. I yelp in pain as I roll away from her raised foot, fearing another smash.
I then ask, "What was that for?" Asuka glares at me before crossing her arms and tells me, "Are you awake? Then go fix dinner." I shake my head as I say, "You can fix yourself something. Just for tonight. Now get out." I was sure to put extra emphasis on the word out, trying not to get pissed off. Asuka then asks, "What's the matter? Are you getting angry? Are you thinking about how you are nothing but a failure? Didn't you know that everyone would be better off if you died?" I shake my head as I say, "No Asuka. I'm just thinking of how much of a bitch you are!" She then steps forwards and punches me in the face. All of a sudden I feel something deep within myself snap. I pull my lips back into a snarl and scream, "Leave me alone! Stop acting like you're so high and mighty! You are no better than me!"
Asuka balls up her fist and shouts, "What makes you think you're better than me! All you are is a piece of trash! The only reason you are even here is the fact that your last name is Ikari!" "You don't have to worry about that anymore!", I scream as I walk to the door. I walk into the living room to see Misato was shooting a dark look at me as I walked past her. "I'm leaving.", I say as I reach the door. Misato stands up and asks, "What makes you think that?" I look over my shoulder at her and say, "I know when I'm not wanted. Asuka's a pain and you're a drunk." She flinches away from me as I close the door.
My walk to the building's doorway was deathly silent. When I reach the exit I push it open and walk into the street. I look over my shoulder and stare at the building. I feel a sense of relief that I was leaving my pain and also confusion over what to do next. Someone bumps into me and says, "Move it kid." I fall to the ground as the stranger walks past me. I groan as I get to my knees and walk off. I think to myself, 'I should have at least grabbed a shirt. That way I wouldn't have stood out so much.' I walk through the streets before coming to a payphone. I walk up to it and pick up the phone. I stare at the phone in my hand. I reach in my pocket and pull out all the money I had on me, which was enough to pay for one call.
I put my money in the machine and dial a number I hadn't dialed in years. I hear the dial tone play before a female voice says, "The number you are trying to dial is not avaliable at the time. Please try again later." I curse under my breath at the owner of the phone I had just tried to call. I walk away from the payphone and try to figure out where I was going to go. I scratch my head as I stride off in a random direction. After a while I realize I was in the outskirts of Tokyo-3. I look around trying to figure out what direction to go. I then hear an all too familiar voice ask, "What are you doing?" I turn around to see Ayanami Rei, the pilot of Evangelion Unit 00. She also was the object of my affections.
I feel my face heat up as she stand there. She stares at me before she ask me, "Ikari-kun, what are you doing?" "Nothing Ayanami. Just trying to find a place to stay.", I say as I look at her, wishing for the impossible. She then asks, "What do you mean?" "I wasn't wanted at my old residence.", I tell her as I turn and start to walk away. I only get three paces before I feel her grab my right hand. I feel my hear skip a couple of beats. Ayanami then spins me to face her. She then tells me, "You can stay with me." I feel as if all the air had been take out of my body as I struggle to give her a answer. I eventually manage to say, "If it's alright with you."
Ayanami nods and leads me off, still holding my hand. As we work our way to her apartment I feel lighthead. I then notice her grasp on me tighten as she leads me to an run down building. When we reach her door, Ayanami opens it and drags me inside. I shut the door behind us and look around her living room. There was piles of garbage and laundary scattered all along the room. I can't believe Ayanami can live like this. Ayanami then says, "Here's a cover you can use." She then hands me a small blanket that has most definitely seen better days. She then says, "You can sleep on the couch Ikari-kun." I smile and say, "Thank you Ayanami for everything you've done." I see a rare smile from Ayanami as she says, "You're welcome." I hear her yawn and I tell her, "You should probably get some rest." She nods and says, "Good night."
I make my way to the couch, being carefull to avoid the piles of rubbish. I lay on the couch and look at the ceiling. 'I'm here again.', I think as I remembered what happened last time I was here. I had been bringing Ayanami her Nerv ID card. He ended up walking in on her while she was naked. "Don't want a repeat of that.", I remark as I close my eyes. I yawn loudly as I roll over. I groan as I feel a sharp pain in my leg. I lift up my blanket and reach into my pocket and pull out my boxcutter.I had forgotten that I had that there. I bring it forwards and look at the blade. The blood from earlier had dried. I undo my sleeve on my left arm. I put the boxcutter against my wrist and pull it backwards as hard as I can. I watch my blood bubble and trickle down my arm. I redo the sleeve and put my tool back in my pocket. I lay my head on the couch and eventually fall into an uneasy sleep.
