At only four years of age, you encountered your first major crisis: daycare.
It had been a spring day just like any other, except it wasn't- not for you anyway. This would mark your first day away from home, and away from the bindings of your parents' strict influence. It was strange, finally having the freedom you had craved for so long in your hands, but you gratefully treasured the independence granted to you nonetheless.
So, why were you sitting alone, at the back of the room, staring at the large cherry blossom tree from beyond the windows?
Frankly, you were scared beyond belief. Socializing just wasn't your thing, especially with kids as obnoxiously loud as the ones in your classroom. Everything was just too overwhelming for you- the bright lights, the loud sounds, the sight of tiny bodies running tirelessly around each other. In the midst of the commotion, your heart beat rapidly. Your breathing became more shallow. You felt like you were going to pass out. Unlike your monotonous home life, this was all too much for you to handle.
Freedom was truly a frightening thing.
So, you sat there, staring off in your own little world. That is, until a soft voice beside you cut into your thoughts and rang gently in your ears, waking you from your daydream.
"Can I hug you?" a voice said behind you.
Your head turned towards the sound on instinct, and suddenly your dulled world was filled with brilliant shades of grey and blue. His eyes captivated you, stunning you in place with their sheer intensity. Unlike your parents' gaze, he stared at you with an unfamiliar and chilling sense of transparency and honesty. It sent a shiver down your spine, and you were rendered helpless against the enchanting boy in front of you.
He opened his mouth again, a little embarrassed by his previous choice of words. "Mama says that I should give people who look sad a hug. You looked sad, so I want to give you a hug."
The word spilled from his mouth and rang gently like a chime in your ear. It was soothing.
"I'm not sad," you replied after a thoughtful moment.
His alluring and cheerful eyes soon turned crestfallen. It felt… wrong. Seeing the mysterious boy dejected made your heart ache. You realized that you liked him better smiling than with a frown on his face.
Too caught up in your own thoughts, you didn't notice the unknown boy had approached you until he was right in front of your chair. His soft and gentle hands cupped your tightly clenched ones, easing the fears that had engulfed you only minutes prior. Before you knew it, he had guided you into standing in front of him.
You were completely helpless when it came to the boy with red and white hair.
Then, small, trembling arms found their way behind you to encase you in a soft, heartfelt embrace. With his head right next to your ear, his words reverberated throughout your entire being, spreading a sense of belonging along with it.
"I wanna give you a hug anyway."
He's caught you off guard. But, you silently admitted to yourself that his hug's not an entire unpleasant sensation. If anything, you would have said that being in his arms made you feel safe. And so, you allowed it to continue, bringing your own hands up to clutch the back of his shirt, rather uncertain of how to reciprocate the innocent hug.
And when he he pulled away to greet you with that dazzling smile of his, you wished that the moment would last forever. Seeing him smile was your favorite thing, you decided. It brought a smile to your own lips, and a warm, fuzzy feeling all throughout your body.
"My name's Todoroki Shouto! I wanna be your friend!"
Your eyes blink open, and you could feel the gentle warmth from your dream already fading. Lying in your bed, you wake up to find yourself surrounded by cherry blossom petals once again. It's no mystery how they ended up there despite your window being closed, but you don't think too much of it, as usual.
It's spring, and the cherry blossom tree outside your room are in full bloom. A new day, another fleeting memory, another morning full of petals. You sigh. Days where you woke up from dreaming about past memories were the hardest. On days like these, nothing ever seemed to work out in your favor. The coughing fits seemed especially bad as well.
It's been eleven years since that fateful first meeting, and sometimes you wonder where things had gone wrong. When you were four, things seemed so much happier compared to how they were now. But, there would be no room for nonsense like that this morning. Today was the day of your first prospective marriage interview—your first Miai meeting—after all.
Pushing the covers off and dusting the petals from your body, you go to open the window and start your morning routine.
"Good morning, Shou," you say to the cherry blossom tree. "I wish you were here. I really need a hug today."
It began as a winter day just as any other, until you realized that it wasn't: Shouto hadn't shown up to daycare. To you, it was surreal moment and something you had never thought to imagine. Ever since that first day when Shouto asked you to be his friend, he had stuck to you like like glue, never failing to show up and greet the you with an excited hug. Wherever you went, he went too. Whatever you did, he did too. There was no you without Shouto, and no Shouto without you.
The boy brought with him colors that you'd never seen before- frustration, sadness, jealousy, excitement, and most of all, happiness. To you, Shouto was like your cherry blossom tree at home— a comforting friend and a constant presence you could rely on to be there no matter what happened. He was always there, armed with his warm embrace and ready to attack you with it whenever possible.
So the fact that it was noon and Shouto still hadn't shown up disturbed you greatly. If there was one thing Shouto was, it was that he was never, ever late. It felt lonely without him by your side, and you hated it. You cried yourself to sleep that night.
The next day, Shouto showed up and tackled you in a bear hug so loving you completely forgot about the previous day's sorrows. Things were right again, or so you thought.
You would soon learn that the days without Shouto— the days you hated the most— would become more frequent though time. Without any explanation or hint, Shouto would go missing from daycare and return as if nothing had happened. Every time you asked him about what had happened, he refused to give you a reply and instead swallowed you in his warm embrace. Eventually, you learned to stop questioning his mysterious disappearances and just cherish the moments you had with him. For another half a year, things continued like this.
And then, It was a spring day just as any other, not that you realized it; today, there would be no Shouto. And the next day. And the following days after that.
You tried to believe that he had caught a nasty cold and was fighting it off ferociously, you really did. But deep down inside, you knew something was wrong this time. Maybe Shouto had finally abandoned you too.
So when Shouto finally came back one winter day, grey eye ablaze and heart as cold as ice, you couldn't stop the trembling in your hands as you ran toward him, pulled him into a tight hug, and cried like there was no tomorrow.
All you could think about was how something was very, very wrong. After all, what were you supposed to assume when half of his face was wrapped in bandages? Those brilliantly colored eyes that were so full of life were no more. All you could see in them were unadulterated hate and rage. Could he even see you?
Your arms were wrapped around his body in that familiar manner, and in that instance you realized something important;
You weren't crying because you missed him.
You were crying because you knew Shouto's tears had dried up. He couldn't cry anymore.
The tears that failed to spill from his eyes instead fell from your own, and the pain he couldn't feel in his hardened heart struck yours intensely. It set your soul aflame, and you couldn't tell if your heart was on fire or as cold as ice. It just hurt.
And then, there was one more thing you realized.
That day, Shouto never returned your hug.
At five years of age, you encountered your second major life crisis; A heart broken into irreparable pieces.
(You wouldn't realize this until later, but that had also been your best friend's last day at daycare. You would never see him there again.)
Sighing, you plop down on your bed and allow yourself to sink into the plump mattress and along with it, old, painful memories.
As your years apart grew longer, your memories of Shouto only grew stronger. Though you two had only been together for a measly year and a half, the impression he left on your soul ran deep. As you grew up, those happy times became your source of comfort in the harsh trials to come. From your quirk training, all the way to the death of your mother, your childhood memories of gentle and expressive Shouto had become a source of strength for you.
You only wish that it had been the same for him.
It had been six years since Shouto's sudden disappearance from daycare, and not a day had passed that you didn't think of your best friend. Keeping the old, familiar title was a lot easier than giving name to the painful ache in your chest. You missed him.
You naively clung to your youthful memories, hoping that you'd see him again one day and be able to pick up where you left off and continue your friendship. To continue those happy times.
It was a spring day just like any other, another day without Shouto and his hugs, except this time it wasn't. There, across the street, was a familiar tuff of red and white hair. Though he was much taller and skinnier than you remember, you recognized him nonetheless in a heartbeat.
"Shouto!" Your feet were running on instinct and his name came tumbling from your lips before you even knew it. Maybe this was fate's way of giving you another chance, telling you to not let him slip away again without telling you.
Hearing his name called, Shouto turned, and in that moment you realized that he wasn't alone. You recognized the large, fiery man beside him as Endeavor, the number two hero of Japan— Shouto's father. His presence was overwhelming and the glare in his eyes almost pressured you into running away. But no, you finally found Shouto again and not even his intimidating father could deter you from this moment.
You gulped. Turning to face Shouto, grey and blue eyes as beautiful as ever bore into yours and suddenly, six years of words you had been dying to say to your childhood friend were stuck in your throat. You could still see the seething hatred in his eyes being reflected back at you, and your heart cried out once more in sadness.
You had learned, though, that nothing would ever come to fruition if you just stood aside and allowed fate to run its course. So you opened your mouth, arms twitching by your side and ready to engulf the boy in a familiar hug.
Ba-dump.
"Hey, Shouto, it's been a while." you start, nervously playing with the hem of your clothes. Being in front of him made you feel insecure; it was as if you were the same child he met on the first day of daycare. But that was then, and this was now.
Ba-dump, ba-dump.
"Do I know you?" he said, almost daring you to say yes.
You noticed how his voice was deeper than you remember, but also an air of hostility in his voice you definitely knew wasn't there before. It frightened you into silence.
Ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump.
"I don't think we've ever met before, so don't use my first name as you please."
And then, you swore you could almost hear the shattering of your glass heart once more. There was no trace of the lively and loving Shouto you used to know.
In that moment, you realized two things:
Shouto had forgotten about you, and—
Pulling on your favorite formal wear, you sighed for the umpteenth time that morning. At age fifteen, you were legally required by the government to begin your marriage meetings. With the cursed disease still running rampant as ever, it was a necessity in order to preserve the nation's future. According to your grandmother, there had been a nationwide poll to enact these marriage meetings after a huge epidemic had occurred worldwide. Clearly, the majority had spoken in approval.
Not that it really bothered you anyway. These meetings were intended to foster mutual love through mutual consent and prevent the formation of the dangerous disease. It made sense, considering the death rates and bad reputation that accompanied the cures.
Straightening your shirt, you remember your indifference as you sent in your questionaire on your fifteenth birthday; that indifference still stood today. And it would continue to stand throughout today's prospective marriage meeting, for it was already too late for you.
You already had someone you loved.
In that moment, at eleven years of age, you realized two things:
That Shouto had forgotten about you, and—
You had encountered your third major life crisis: unrequited love.
As the boy with raging grey and blue eyes walked away from you, the sole cherry blossom petal you had just coughed up only solidified that fact. You were hopelessly, and irrevocably in love with Todoroki Shouto.
Hanahaki disease: an illness in which the victim coughs up flowers due to their one-sided love. If left untreated, the flowers inside the victim's body will bloom into full flowers, resulting in death.
