A/N: Yes, I know Fanzone is married in the show and he absolutely hates machines. But every now and then a character needs to star in a fic made of crack. Hence, this is a short crack fic about Fanzone. This is not to be taken seriously. But for now, enjoy!
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It had been three months since that Decepticon attack on Detroit. The Autobots managed to defeat them, yes, but it didn't mean everything just became perfect after the defeat of Megatron. Firstly, there was the damage done to the city. Fanzone realized how minor all the previous skirmishes had been. As the police captain, he was constantly on duty to be sure that vandals, thieves, and other punks didn't wreck any buildings being rebuilt. Even with the aid of some Autobots that were sent to help the humans, the progress was slow.
No matter how important his work was, however, Mrs. Fanzone was impatient about her spouse's constant work routine. When the captain did manage to get a bit of time off, all he got was the nagging and constant fighting from his wife. Quite frankly, all he wanted was some peace.
As much as Fanzone hated to admit it, he was…seeing someone else. He rubbed the bridge of his nose. At the moment he was on his way to meet her, and told his wife he was at a friend's house. As much as the captain loved his wife-or at least convinced himself he did-there was something about the other one. Her caring but no nonsense character, the way she spoke and the things she went through in the past.
With each secret meeting Fanzone learned more about her, and he craved more of her presence. His heart skipped a bit when he finally drove up to the corner where he'd meet her.
He casually pulled to a stop near the sidewalk. Fanzone looked around to see if she was out there yet. After a few minutes he drummed his fingers on the dashboard of his compact. He knew she wasn't the type to stand up to him like that but-
"There she is…finally" Fanzone grumbled to himself. Just across the street an emergency response van pulled up next to the side walk. Getting out of his police car and slamming his door, Fanzone then walked next to the van. He eyed it grumpily.
"Your late again," Fanzone said sternly "This is why I hate machines."
In a second the van transformed into a twenty story red and white femme. One of her appendages was an assorsment of various medical tools used for Cybertronian surgery and her almond shaped azure optics flashed a little in a playful glare.
"Well, I never!"
"C'mon Red Alert, you know I'm only kiddin'!" Fanzone exclaimed waving his arms in the air. Red Alert smiled gently and bent down so that her face was level with his.
"Don't worry, I know I'm the exception," she said in the firm and calm voice Fanzone had come to admire. He shoved Red Alert's faceplate away when she nuzzled her nose against his cheek. Laughing, both walked through the quiet allys, getting to know each other even more.
Unfortunatly for the couple, a certain bounty hunter was watching them…and he had a camera.
"Now…this is good for bribary," Lockdown murmured to himself, chuckling.
