7:46 pm, 26th February, the Loft

Oh My God!

I'm like reading this journal after soooooo . . . long!!!

Gawsh . . . my English was so bad.

LOL . . .

It's funny actually.

So umm, to update on my 'love' life . . .

We-el, currently all guys are kicked off . . .

I mean obviously since I have my 10th grade finals in less than a week (freaked out!!!).

!!!!!

Can you believe it???

Wait a second, why am I even asking a book a question?

Gawd . . .

Anyways, so in the past two years I've learnt quite a few things.

1. People who were just not really important, can become your best friends, ie. Tina (I love her!!!) (Only in the nice way) (Nothing wrong).

2. Your best friends can go pretty far away from you, ie. Lilly.

3. Guys you used to love (!!!) are not at all important. You even laugh at the idea, ie. Harry.

4. Your crushes, who might seem like the epitome of goodness, can actually be much better as just friends, ie. Josh.

5. Guys who were just big flirts, can become like your brothers, ie. JP.

6. Guys who were like your brothers can go very very far away from you, ie. Boris.

7. Guys who you always thought you were awesome friends with, can have a secret dying passion for you (OK, gross) ie. Kenny.

8. High school is NOT evil. Even though it may seem so, you are gonna miss it!

9. You have to accept that your mom and dad are NOT gonna be married. Just live with it.

10. And finally the guy who you really really love, can go far away from you, and it breaks your heart, ie. Michael.

So there that was my list of 10 things you learn after High School.

It's pretty weird actually, to write after so long.

(Ya, I know my finals are coming)

Anyways.

Not that I can write like J.K Rowling or anything!

Cuz, me being me, ie. just a waste of space and time, can do nothing.

Not even write.

So I guess even after 2 years, some things never change.

Like me being useless in almost all spheres of my life.

And I'm actually writing because I don't wanna study and I have to pretend to be writing something!

Oh ya and also because Tina has been begging me to write again.

Apparently because some really interesting things happen to me.

NOT.

SO NOT.

I tell you she is a force too strong on me!

Ok, I must admit, this is kind of fun.

I mean not talking to a book, but writing down my feelings.

So, I'm listening to a song which for some really freaky reason reminds of JP. Speaking of him, he called today. I'm sure he's got some alert thing.

Every time I want to really talk to him, he calls!

He must have some kind of freaky mental beeper.

Argh.

Only thoughts about my potential future boy friend keep coming. I keep thinking about him. About his eyes, his smile, his hair even his handwriting! (I know I sound like a pervert)

But then again who even cares, I mean he is NOT going to become my boyfriend.

I'm not being sadist and all but I mean he already has a girlfriend!!!

I mean I am NOT going to date a guy who 'already' has a girlfriend.

Anyways I don't even have time for this crap. I have to study.

Arrgghh.

Who am I even kidding!

I have like all the time in the world to talk about him.

But I'm not going to.

Because he is really mean.

He broke my already broken heart into a million tiny pieces.

Not that he could help it.

I mean what the hell can you do if some freaky random girl likes you.

You can't leave your precious perfect girlfriend.

No, but you can definitely break the girls heart.

It's such a simple thing to do!

Gosh, I'm such a whiner.

Mi-chael .

Mi-chael.

Mi-chael.

This is what my hear seems to be saying.

It's like a rhythm or something.

And Josh not talking to me makes it all even worse.

I lose the only love of my life and my best guy friend in one week!

I must be really repulsive.

Of course when I told this to Tina, she just says that I'm perfect and really good.

She's so sweet sometimes.

Oh and JP has guaranteed me that I'm gonna do well in my exams ( I know random!?!?!).

I mean how does he even know that.

He's just being nice.

So is Tina.

I wish I was nice.

I again realized that I'm whining.

Ooops Mom!

Gotto go!

10:23pm, 26th February, the loft

Ok, so I'm like ready to sleep.

Only that I'm not.

Like seriously.

How is a young 15 year old girl supposed to sleep peacefully at night when the love of her life has not seen/talked/thought about her in exactly 20 days???

Oh and also that my finals are less than a week away.

!!!!!

Anyways.

No whining.

I'm going to get up early in the morning tomorrow.

For studies.

I will not think about Michael.

I will not.

I don't actually know what I'm going to study . . .

Like I still have 2 lessons left.

But I do not feel like doing them.

I mean obviously.

How can I learn about pressure groups, movements and things.

That is stuff I clearly do NOT understand.

But what I do, is that I miss talking to him so much.

I loved the way he used to laugh.

And I loved it when he called my name.

And when he smiled after seeing me.

He felt so right! Like we were meant to be.

Only that we weren't.

I still remember how my heart used to that funny flip thing whenever I used to see him.

And when he looked at me, I felt that nothing bad would ever happen to me.

He could always make me laugh.

I'm so not over him.

Though I've told all my friends that I have, because I'm such a big liar.

Except Tina.

She knows.

She always does.

Why is mom watching a movie called 'Chocolate'?

I mean why?

She doesn't even like it.

Moving on, I told Tina that I hope I have a happy ending like in all those silly romantic movies.

I'm sleepy now. So more in the morning!

*Yawn*