Dante's new Job.
After defeating his brother, Vergil, and resealing the gate to the demon world, it was time for Dante to open his shop. He even had a name for it. Devil may cry. It had taken him a while to think of an appropriate name for the agency, and though even he admitted that the name wasn't catchy, to him, it was meaningful.
Dante sat in his leather chair, twiddling his thumbs behind the desk. Today was going to be a decisive day. He had been preparing all morning and the moment he had been waiting for was nearly upon him. This would decide whether his agency would be a success or not. The health inspector was coming. I f he didn't pass, his business would be shut down and he would have to find a new way of making money.
At that moment, the familiar bell rang as someone opened the oak door. From outside, a short, fat man in a grey suit entered with no hair and a beard that reached down to his stomach.
"Hello there." Dante said, greeting the man. "Are you the health inspector?"
"Yes, I am." Came his reply. The man's voice was gruff and deep. "And you've already failed. Goodbye." Dante stared at the man with his mouth hanging open and his eyes opened wide. Until finally he contested.
"But why? I spent all day cleaning. There's nothing wrong here." He explained, stretching out his hand and pointing at the gleaming pool table, the sparkling windows and his reflective floor.
"There isn't?" The health inspector said with a high level of sarcasm. "Allow me to show you a few things." He walked into the centre of the room and pointed at the wall. "What is that?"
Dante followed his finger to where it was aiming. On his wall was one of his favourite decorations. A demon impaled by various knifes, hanging like a rag doll.
"What's the matter with that?" Dante moaned. "It's not harming anyone."
"Maybe so. But please explain why there is pizza sitting around all over the room."
It was true. There were pizza boxes everywhere with half eaten slices inside them.
"I like pizza." Dante answered, almost crying.
"And on top of all that. You have smashed busses and buildings outside. I cannot pass you."
The health inspector picked up his briefcase and left the building, leaving Dante sat on his desk weeping in his hands. He would have to find another job.
Dante strolled down the street looking in the shop windows. Any job would do. Any at all. But his main intention at that moment wasn't to find a job. He wanted pizza, and fast. As he pushed open the pizza shop door, he noticed something. There was a sign in the windowpane. Dante leaned closer and tried his best to read what it said.
Help Wanted.
Help wanted? That must mean that there was a job available. As fast as he could, Dante ran inside and asked the man at the till about the sign.
"Is it true that I can get a job here?"
The teenage boy working there looked up at him from the pizza he was making. His face was almost the same as the food on the table before him. Dante stepped back in fear of one of the massive spots exploding over him.
"I dunno." The boy answered. "Ask the manager."
"Where can I find the manager?" Dante asked.
"I dunno. In the office or something." Was his answer.
Dante walked to the back of the shop and saw a door with a staff room sign on it. He entered immediately to find another man in a suit sitting on a sofa with a cigar in his mouth.
"What do you want?" The man shouted at Dante.
"I saw a help wanted sign outside." Dante mumbled. "I was wondering if the job was still available."
"Someone already took it. But I suppose another delivery boy wouldn't do no harm. Get out there and deliver something. Take a bike from the rack outside."
Dante smiled at the manager. It was a dream come true. A job in the pizza shop. What could be better? He left the office and made his way back to the boy that was making the pizzas, making sure he didn't get too close to the minefield face.
"Any deliveries?" Dante inquired.
"There is one. But the other new guy already took it. If you want, you can wait until we get another order from this Dante guy. He always phones us up about three times a day. And I always leave a little something special in his food." The boy said laughing.
Dante frowned. Something special? What could that mean? But at that time, it didn't matter. He drew the sword of his Father, Force edge, and drew his breath.
"I, Dante Sparda, swear that I will find the new pizza boy and make him give up the food to me, so that I may successfully deliver it."
"Great." The pizza boy answered. "You go get that pizza." He continued, clearly uninterested.
Dante ignited the moped that waited for him outside. The other delivery boy had left on a bicycle, so if he went to the address he was given, it should be easy to catch up. As he drove around, following directions, he saw a person on a bike in the distance. As he drew closer, his eyes widened. It couldn't be. Ahead of him he could see a man dressed in a long blue cloak cycling slowly with a pizza in his hand. Once he had closed the gap between himself and the delivery boy, he realised who it was. But…. Dante had killed him.
Just ahead of him was the new delivery boy, Vergil, on a bicycle. Clearly weary from pedalling so much.
"Get back here." Dante shouted. "That pizza is mine to deliver."
Vergil turned his head back around and gasped. His brother, that had beaten him before was behind him with the Force Edge drawn. Out of fear, Vergil began to pedal as fast as he could, trying to escape from Dante.
"I'll never let you have it. The shop asked me first. So I'm going to deliver this pizza on time."
"Not if I can help it." Dante replied, speeding up to fifty mph. "First you try and open hell, and now his? I can't allow you to get me fired on my first day."
"But it's my first day to."
"I don't care. I will deliver that food." Dante moved alongside Vergil and swung his sword towards his brother's neck. Vergil rapidly ducked under the swing and screeched to a halt.
"Stop!" He shouted. "Somebody's trying to cross the road."
Dante stopped at his brother's side. It was true. Someone was trying to cross the road. Once again, he was surprised at what he saw. The huge creature, Beowulf was crossing over, but he didn't seem okay. On a leash, he had the even bigger dog, Cerberus, guiding him. Dante looked at both of them puzzled. Then he remembered. He had sliced Beowulf's only other eye out inside the Temen-ni-gru. So he must be using Cerberus as a guide dog. As he pondered those thoughts, the enormous creature before him suddenly turned to face them.
"I recognise that scent." Beowulf roared. The ground trembling as he spoke. "It is the foul smell of…. Pepperoni pizza. I shall rid this Earth of it's foul scent." He charged towards Vergil, it's arms and legs glowing with silver energy.
"No!" Vergil and Dante both said together, sticking out their swords. In a blind rage, Beowulf impaled himself on the ends of Yamato and Force edge by accident.
"This can't be. The sons of Sparda have returned... as pizza boys. Hahahahaha!" Even with two blades forced though his torso he laughed at the two grown men and their pizza. "This shall make a fine tale for the rest of us in the Demon world." He said, extending his shining wings of light and dragging himself off the twin blades piercing him. "Come Cerberus." He continued, taking the three-headed dog of ice by one of its necks and flying off to the rooftops.
"I really think that put things into perspective." Vergil said calmly. "It's just a pizza."
"I agree." Dante answered. "Why don't you just give it to me and let me deliver it?"
"Never! I was the one they asked first." Vergil got his feet ready to pedal. "If you want it, then come get it." He pedalled away as fast as he could, while Dante revved up his moped.
"Okay then. Let's play." Dante pulled back the throttle and sped off at the grand speed of fifty mph. Continuously trying to take the pizza from Vergil's hands, until they met another delay. From a small fashion shop, Lady, Lucia and Trish each stepped out into the street with dozens of bags full of designer clothes.
"Dante." They all called. "Come back. We could go shopping together."
Dante stopped at the pathway and shouted ahead at Vergil. "Wait a moment. I have something to do." He turned back to the three women, dismounting his scratched, dirty moped. "Like the wheels girls? Just got them today. Ain't she a beauty?"
Meanwhile, Vergil stood on the other side of the road alone, thinking to himself.
"Why does he get all the attention? What´s the matter with me? Perhaps I shouldn't have cheated on Nevan so many times." But before he could come up with a conclusion, Dante had finished his conversation and was now near his bike.
"Not the pizza." Vergil screamed in a girly voice.
"Haha." Dante laughed. "The pizza is finally mine." He continued, speeding of into the distance. Vergil, now almost weeping, sat back down on the saddle of his bike and leaned on the handlebars. Suddenly, he heard some voices approaching him.
"Are you Dante's brother? We think that you're like… so cool."
Vergil turned around. The three girls were behind him.
"Yes, I am. Why don't you three go and follow him somewhere?"
"Why would we do that?" Lady inquired.
"Yeah, Dante is a jerk." Continued Lucia.
"And so is Capcom." Interrupted Trish.
"As I was saying." Lucia said. "They both are jerks. Every time Capcom makes a new game they make Dante go off with some other woman."
"And Dante just agrees." Lady said, ending the sentence. Then she noticed Vergil's face. "Are you crying? Did he do something to you?"
Vergil wiped the tears from his eyes and nodded sadly. He knew that he was going to be fired. But then, something cheered him up. The three girls each came over and hugged him. Then Trish spoke up.
"We love sensitive guys. Perhaps you would like to come back to our place."
"Yeah, that's a great idea." Smiled Lady.
Vergil stared at all three girls. He couldn't believe his luck. His heart rose once again and he felt happy.
"Let's go then ladies." Vergil smirked. "I hope you don't plan on doing to much though. I'm tired and I really need a bed to rest in."
"Oh dear." Sighed Lucia. "We were going back to my house, and I've only got one bed."
"That's no problem." Vergil smiled, cycling off next to the girls into the sunset.
Dante reached the address he had written on his hand previously. The flat he had reached was in the slums and had graffiti everywhere. Cautiously, Dante entered the building and took the lift to the flat he was looking for. He then knocked on the door and waited for it to open. Yet another surprise awaited him as the man inside answered him. The one that had ordered the pizza was a bald men dressed in black clothing with a large scar across the left hand side of his face.
"Arkham!" Dante said. "I thought you were dead."
"No, I crawled back here, and since then I've been living off pizza and beer." He explained, pointing out his stomach.
"You look eight months pregnant." Dante commented.
Arkham frowned at what he had just been told.
"Where is my pizza?"
"Here it is." Dante said, handing over the box.
Arkham opened the box and sniffed the air that came out before looking at the food in horror.
"This has anchovies on it. I'm allergic to anchovies. Go get another."
Dante opened his mouth to speak, but he knew that if he didn't please the customer he would be fired. So angrily, he left the building with the pizza in his hand and got back on his bike.
"Next time. I'll ram the pizza down his throat." He sulked, driving off out of the alleyway and back to the place that he had once loved.
The end.
Hope you liked it. This is my first fan fic, but please be brutally honest about the quality.
