AN: Man, how long has it been since I last logged in or posted here? Like 2 years? So... hello everybody! Hope you enjoy this new story.


He woke up.

Even after death, there was no rest.

That single thought was all that it took for a sense of consciousness to be born. It happened naturally and slowly. At first, he accepted awareness with a neutral heart, the same way he'd always accepted reality after waking from a dream.

Then, without a warning, the feeble awareness transformed into something that was supposed to be lost for good.

Ardyn.

His name. His identity. Himself.

A flood of memories and thoughts ambushed him. The sense of peacefulness vanished, though it may have never existed at all.

The weight of his new reality crushed him. He tried to go back to his previous state, to the stasis he had enjoyed before his mind decided he needed to remember he still existed.

It was a battle he couldn't win. His mind was out of his control.

Ardyn tried to flee, but there was nowhere he could go.

Was there something to flee from in the first place?

In the nothingness that surrounded him, he couldn't be sure of anything, other than he now existed amidst it. Even his movements were puzzling.

At moments, it felt like he was sinking into an ocean without a deep end.

At others, it felt like he was ascending towards heaven.

Sometimes, it felt like he wasn't moving at all.

Sometimes, it felt like he was moving in all directions at once.

Meanwhile, his mind gave him no quarter. Memories, thoughts, feelings, wishes, hopes, regrets…

He didn't know how long he spent like this.

An eternity? A second?

It didn't matter, not when he knew that it wouldn't stop.

Nothing stopped.

Even after death, there was no rest.

Only then did he truly understand the meaning behind those words.

Of all the jokes fate, the Astrals and the world had played on him, waking up in this new realm was the cruelest one.

How hard would it have been to let him rest, if not in peace, at least in nothingness?

He pondered on that question without hoping to get an answer. It didn't matter.

No reply, excuse or explanation would be enough to quiet the anger surging from within him.

Ardyn embraced the hatred the same way he had done long ago, and in it, he found the strength to dispel the fear and thoughts that threatened to drag him into an endless abyss.

He wouldn't give in.

Hatred alone had kept him going during his eternal life.

He had no reason to believe it wouldn't do the same in this new existence.


It simply happened.

Something stopped his wandering.

Ardyn had no way of knowing how long he had been floating around in the nothingness. He also couldn't tell when he had regained his body.

He moved his hands and gazed at them. He touched his face, his hair, his chest. He couldn't feel his heart.

It would have been shocking if it hadn't been expected. He was no longer alive. The dead had no use for a heartbeat.

"Welcome, lost one." A soothing voice broke the ominous silence.

Ardyn had forgotten he wasn't alone anymore. He looked at the creature whose giant hand served as a platform for him to stand on.

Its face was soft and white, not much different than that of a marble statue. Its features were beautiful, almost angelic, as were the golden garments that covered its body. Six wings, three on each side, emerged from its shoulder blades and were joined together by a halo.

A heavenly being that was nothing but disgusting for Ardyn. He stared at the figure without caring if it could notice the repulse it caused him.

"You must permit me to apologize for my intrusion." the entity's voice, musical as it was, sounded more human than divine ". The place you now stand in is Arubboth, palace of the heavens, and I'm its Lord."

Ardyn remained silent and smiled. Oh, divine beings, always so eager to state their importance.

His silence annoyed the giant figure.

Ardyn's smile widened. How easily offended gods were was as amusing as it was pathetic.

"Oh, is that so?" Ardyn said with mockery as he bowed "Well then, allow me to introduce myself."

"I know who you are."

The interruption almost caused Ardyn's rage to show on his face, but he hid it beneath a fake expression of surprise and flattery.

"Ardyn Izunia. You who lost your existance in your own realm at the hands of its rightful king — it was I who brought you here."

"And to what I owe the honor of such attention, Lord of Arubboth? What did a being as grand as yourself saw in a man of no consequence like me?" Not allowing his smile to falter was harder than Ardyn expected. It had never happened to him before.

The thought disturbed him, but he ignored it. Worrying about it would gain him nothing.

"You are here" the Lord of Abburoth raised its other hand and gently rested its enormous palm on top of Ardyn's head. Ardyn flinched, sure that it would squash him, but all he received was a tender caress", because I want to beg for your forgiveness."

The giant hand departed from his head. Ardyn stared at the god. For once, he had no words.

He didn't know what to feel, even less what to say.

A god asking for a mortal's forgiveness? What sort of idiocy was that?

A laugh began to form in his chest, but he was too taken aback to breathe it out.

"Forgive you?" he finally said, "What did you ever do to me?"

"Not me. What I want is for you to forgive everyone who mistreated you in life."

"And what the hell do you know about my life?"

"I expected you'd say as much." The condescending disappointment that dripped form the Lord's voice took Ardyn's contempt to a level he thought unreachable. He began to remember why he loathed gods ". Reluctance to forgive has long been a human failing. It is human's nature to sin, yet you answer sin with violence upon violence. Is that not itself a sin?"

If the god expected an answer, if it thought Ardyn was stupid enough to reply to its rhetorical fallacies, then the so-called Lord of Arubboth was up for a surprise.

The silence between them did much more than to simply annoy the god this time. It was only for a fleeting moment, but Ardyn saw the angelic face turn into the grimace of a demon.

"Grant them forgiveness and you shall have eternal peace." The Lord proceeded, its voice as serene as before ". You can live in peace in my paradise for all time."

Could it be true?

The offer was too simple to ignore.

Ardyn covered his face with his hands.

Had he fallen so low that he would believe a god's lie again?

"Why do you hesitate? Don't you long for what I offer?" The Lord of Arubboth couldn't hide the impatience in its voice.

Ardyn uncovered his face.

Just as the Lord drew breath to ask another question, Ardyn reached one of his hands towards it.

The god smiled, and it too began to move its free hand towards Ardyn.

"May you know eternal peace."

It had barely finished talking when a flurry of flames covered its fingers.

The Lord flinched, its hand swinging aimlessly as the fire spread all the way up to its shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, my dear Lord," Said Ardyn as he jumped off of the god's hand ", but I have no interest in any forgiveness or paradise of yours."

The Lord of Arubboth roared as a wave of magic emerged from its body. Knowing it was too late to dodge it, Ardyn prepared to block it with his arms.

The god was indeed powerful, but Ardyn had encounter mightier enemies.

His confidence, together with any other thought and feeling, didn't vanish when the hit came.

It all fell apart with what followed.

Pain.

It was like plummeting into a pit of darkness only to be pulled into a blazing light a second later.

Ardyn fell and crashed against the glass-like ground of that realm.

The new twinge of pain piled up with the previous one.

Ardyn laid on his back, unmoving and incredulous. At first, he thought it was just a trick of his mind, but the sharp pricking torturing his body contradicted his skepticism.

The Lord of Arubboth had hurt him.

He really was feeling pain.

Ardyn had little time to pull himself together. The ground trembled with every step the Lord took.

Gathering all the strength he had left, Ardyn managed to get back on his feet.

"Foolish man." Said the Lord of Arubboth. Its white arm had not the slightest trace of damage ". Did you truly think a mortal could hurt a god?"

"I've done worse things to gods than merely hurting them." Ardyn prepared another attack. Then he felt it, the disruption in his magic.

It was still powerful, but something was lacking. What had once been an unleashed force was now stunned potential at best.

What had happened?

Who had done this to him?

"Then those gods were weak." The celestial colossus plunged its open hand towards him ". You should have accepted my offer when you could. Now I shall disperse you into nothingness."

Without the element of surprise, Ardyn's magic did no damage. It was like trying to stop a burst magma with burned coals.

Fear. Another emotion that had been foreign to him for so long, overwhelmed him.

He can hurt me.

Ardyn tried to summon his Royal Arms of Lucis, but they didn't come to his aid.

He can kill me.

Such a stupid thought.

Ardyn laughed.

What am I so afraid of? I'm already dead…No, I'm deader than dead! It doesn't matter, nothing matters!

The echoes of his laughter soon overcame everything else. He had no life to lose. He had nothing, he was nothing. His cackle continued long after his whole body became entangled in the hand of the god. Only his right arm was free of the torturous pressure that began to turn the rest of himself into a pulpy mush.

His laughter never ceased. The Lord of Arubboth's face was distorted with fury.

"Laugh in emptiness, crooked clown."

"Haven't I always, my dear lord?" Screamed Ardyn, clawing the giant hand with his trembling fingers ". Perhaps you should laugh with me! Become a laughing god! You should, you should!"

As Ardyn expected, the god didn't answer. They never did.

He lost all sensation of his body. The god had won, and he knew it.

Out of nowhere, a scream louder than Ardyn's laughter came roaring from the deity's mouth. Ardyn too felt a pain so great that no amount of screaming could sooth it.

His right arm burned as it was covered by a blinding light. The lord of Arubboth let go of him, too immersed in its own agony to care about the fate of its victim. It moved around without a purpose, destroying everything in its path like a wounded animal in a frenzy.

Without the god's oppressing grip holding his tattered body together, Ardyn began to fall again. He hugged his burning arm tightly against his chest, wishing he could tear it from his body and make the pain stop.

As he fell, the realm around him shattered and began to vanish into nothingness. Ardyn could feel his body sharing the same fate.

Soon, all that remained were him and the god.

Though it still was the same entity, it was now different in every way. The hand it had used to crush Ardyn was gone, together with the rest of the arm.

The angelic visage, soaked with tears, was fractured. The demon face Ardyn had seen before bloomed from the left side, and it spread its grotesque features through all the god's body like a blight.

The death of an angel and the birth of a demon.

It was the last thing Ardyn saw before his consciousness failed him.

As he gazed at the scene, a specific sentiment overtook him, but nothingness swallowed him before he could figure what that feeling was.

It didn't matter.

He was going back to being nothing again.

This time, he hoped with a smile, it would be for good.


It wasn't.

Something…, someone was making sure of that.

Shreds of himself were being put together against his will.

Enough, Ardyn muttered to his forceful healer.

Two voices talked among themselves. One was gentle, the other insane.

It was the former who spoke to him, while the later laughed and continued to weave together the pieces that would make of Ardyn a sentient being.

Leave me, he said.

The kinder voice remained silent for a moment, as if persuaded of doing as Ardyn asked.

The answer came in the form of a whisper.

No.