Beast Wars Live Radio Show











Optimus Primal: (Goes to mailbox){Hums} Lets see what's in the mail today: Bill-plumbing, Bill-electricity, Bill-Clinton, 101 Stupid Things To Do, Right Now-Idiotsgalor, Crap-Crap, We Will Kill You Soon-SonofaBitchneighbors. (Pauses, widens eyes) You Can Have Your Own Radio Show For FREE!-Some Guy.....HOLY SHIT!( Runs in base) Maximals, we're gettin' a radio show!



Maximals:(Put guns to their heads)*clickclackwiggle*



Optimus Primal: Come on!...Fine! Be that way.(Sits down and reads the letter for the hell of it. Gives the rest to Dinobot, who chews the letters up a bit and swallows them) ...Blahblahblah...ANY RATING?!!!! G to NC-17???????!!!!!! Guys!....



About 2 hours later...



Cheetor: So, we can say ass, nipples and wiener? COOL!



Rhinox: Uhhhhhh, you can do that.



Optimus Prime: Uh, how come I don't get a part? (Scratches eyepatch)



Rattrap: Hey, what happened to Grimlock? And what happened to your eye?



Optimus Prime: Grimlock took a nap...thats all you need to know... And I was in a fight with a mighty eagle off the cost of the Carribean. I killed the bastard, but no before he got me eye.



Rattrap: There aren't any eagles there, what really happened?



Optimus Prime: I got drunk and passed out and a bird crapped in me eye...it was me first day with the light saber.



Rattrap: O-K...



Cheetor:(Calls Predacons) Hey Megs, wanna be on our radio show?--OK, see ya at Station587875



Maximals: (point guns at Cheetor)*clickclackwiggle*



Cheetor: Crap...

About an hour later



Optimus: (on radio) Ok...We are the Transformers... and today's topic...love and sex! For 30 minutes, we will be listening tooooooo the stuff you have to say!



*bell rings*



Stephanie: Yeah, like my name is like you know, like blahblahblah...



Tarantulas: WORDS, please!



Maximals: (point guns at Cheetor)*clickclackwiggle*



Silverbolt: Are you hot?



Blackarachnia: (Points bullwhip at Silverbolt) *wiggle*



Silverbolt: (Smiles like an idiot nancy-boy) FAX US A PICTURE OF YOURSELF!!!!!!!

*snapsnapsnap* Ohhhhhhhhhhhh yeah.



Stephanie: Like, OK...I geuss



Tarantulas: (Takes picture from fax machine tray, passes picture around.)



Maximals/Predacons: Yeah, alright, wow...



Silverbolt: YOU LOOK FUCKING HOT!!!!!! *snapSNAPSNAP* {OoO} That feels GOOD!



Blackarachnia: WHAT?! Thats it. You're sleeping on the floor. You are suspended from the bed!



Silverbolt: (Runs up to microphone.) Stephanie?



Stephanie: Li-ike, what?



Silverbolt: You're ugly!



Stephanie: Huh?



Blackarachnia: Na-yeah, good enough apology.



Optimus Prime: OK, Stephanie, what didja you want to ask us?



Stephanie: Huh? Oh yeah, well, like my boyfriend, OK?, is nervous, OK?, about having sex.



Silverbolt: What? Dump the chump!





Stephanie: Like no!



Airazor: Did you try talking to him?



Stephanie: Like, yeah...



Airazor: Did it work?



Stephanie: Like, what do ya mean?



Airazor: Did he happily screw you?!



Stephanie: *sigh*[Sadly] No...



Airazor: Didn't work for me either.



Silverbolt:(Stares at Tigertron)



Tigertron: .......What? I was scared! She was being a bitch!



Silverbolt: That's the point!



Blackarachnia: You like me being a bitch?



Silverbolt:(Smiles like an idiot) Yeah! It turns me on!



Blackarachnia: ...Put this collar on...



5 minutes later...



Silverbolt: (On the floor, severely damaged from bondage) Hell...yeah...



Blackarachnia: Stephanie, this may sound weird to you but, first off, are you a virgin?



Stephanie: No.



Blackarachnia: Good. Listen, on your next date, tell him to come pick you up. Got that? Good, well, when he comes, grab him, and pull his cloths off...



2 minutes later...





Stephanie: Like, I never thought of that! Or next date is today, *urk* like shhh! He's here.



For the next 10 minutes, all is heard form the speakers at the station is girly man screams....



10 minutes later...



Stephanie: Like, he liked it! Thanks!



Blackarachnia: Anytime!



Optimus Primal: Well, that's all the time we have!



Depth Charge: WHAT? THA F@#$! THAT WAS F&^%ING SHORT! AND WHY THE F%&& DO I GET THE F$%^ING CENSORS????!!!!!