Title: Whatever You Say.
Rating: G.
Disclaimers: I don't own the characters, George Lucas does.
Warnings: None that I can think of, possible OOCness.
Category: Inspired by a song fic cause it ain't a songfic. Possibly pre. Angst.
Pairings: None.
Summary: Anakin's thoughts mostly, though some of Obi-Wan sneaks in, as do other characters.
Note: I'm not very good at writing about relationships. Nor do I think I can write a plotless piece of fluff, they usually develop one-and not bother telling me.
656
Anakin sighed and it echoed loudly in the rooms he entered, the ones he now shared with his Master. Typically, he was the only one there.
Upon reaching his fifteenth birthday, he, like other Padawans his age, had moved from the Padawan quarters to those of their Masters. It wasn't that he minded his new accommodations; he loved having more room to himself.
After a long day of classes that failed to capture and hold his attention, he loved to kick back and relax. The kitchen was stocked with good food or ingredients if they decided to make a meal from scratch. Or a snack, he was rather fond of the Coruscant cakes.
His Master had given him his choice of rooms and he had chosen one with a view of the city. The first thing he had done-secretly, of course, was find out which direction Tatooine was and accepted that one, it made him feel closer to his mother. Something he knew that his Master and the Jedi Council would not approve of.
They feared the bond of love between them. But it didn't matter to him, not in the slightest. She was his comfort, his strength. He missed her, wished that she was here with him.
Of all the things he regretted, losing her was the only thing that came to mind instantly. As he stood in the room, the silence around him was deafening, reinforcing his feelings of total and complete abandonment. If she were here, things would be easier for him to bear.
Not that he regretted coming to Coruscant with Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon or helping them. Training to be a Jedi was everything to him. It was something he had always dreamed about and knew that his mother had hoped for when she realized he had unusual abilities.
But…looking around, he couldn't help but feel misplaced.
Incongruous among the calmness of the place. Obi-Wan had done his best to make it a center of warmth and security for him. Somewhere that he would feel welcome and accepted. Anakin appreciated the gesture. Really he did, even if he felt it was utterly wasted on him.
It was just that…the loneliness of their quarters depressed him.
As much as he hated to admit it, he found that he needed more than just a surface of welcome and acceptance. He needed to have more than his thoughts for company. He was no longer as self-sufficient as he had been on Tatooine, no longer satisfied with just himself for company.
Not that he didn't have companions there, he had several he loved to spend time with. And there was his mom. It was just that, being a slave automatically put fences between him and the other children.
He had gotten used to having others around him, being included in their days off and general horseplay. Here there were no boundaries between him and the others. He loved listening to their chatter. About how well they got on with their Masters and in their studies, how they were proud of them.
All he ever heard from his Master was how much he could improve. That he needed to focus more, to prepare more, and be mindful of his future. That he was better than his mediocre work showed.
They were no closer now than when they had first met.
He felt more like an obligation than a person to his Master…and he needed to be so much more. Not just feeling like it, but actually being it. To his Master, to his Master's friends, and to his own peers. He felt so far behind all the students here, even though he knew he was far more advanced than they were.
And it wasn't his arrogance talking. Anakin liked to think that he had a realistic view of his own capabilities, though there were those who would gladly disagree with that assessment. Yet, he knew this for truth.
They may have more training than he did having lived here for most of their lives. But when it came to using the power of the Force instinctually, none of them could reach him. Not even the Jedi Masters came close to touching his abilities.
Many considered him this "Chosen One" for his incredible talent. For his unusual birth and the way he could tap directly into the Living Force. Anakin had known himself that he was not exactly normal, even as a Jedi.
Of course, no one bothered to tell him this. What? Had they thought that he wouldn't want to know about this? He had to find out in the usual way, through the rumor mill.
It was a very lonely path he walked.
And the one person who was supposed to help him, help ease that burden was nowhere to be seen. Master Obi-Wan Kenobi was there for him in the physical sense of the word but he denied him the support he really craved. He couldn't complain about that even if he had wished to.
Oh, he realized that his Master was busy completing his own training under the tutelage of Master Yoda. Though Master Jinn had thought him ready for it and he had passed one of the greatest of trials ever put before a Jedi, Obi-Wan himself felt unprepared for the title and job.
Not to mention the other burdens that went with it.
From past experience, he knew that his Master would be off fulfilling one of them. Obi-Wan was either in a meeting with the Jedi Council about him, planning for their next mission, or, and this was the most likely possibility, meditating somewhere in the Jedi Palace.
He would rarely be found in their own quarters meditating.
Nope, that would mean that he might have to spend more than a few minutes with him. Sometimes it felt like he could barely stand to be around the young man he'd willingly made his Padawan six years ago.
The door chimed and in walked his Master. Instantly, Anakin turned to him, a tentative smile crossing his face. "Good afternoon, Master." He greeted once his Master had removed his outer cloak and placed it on the hook.
After one serious mishap in the past, he knew better. Obi-Wan had to become acclimated to the safety of their home environment before he said anything.
Obi-Wan looked up, startled out of his thoughts by the voice. The surprise didn't last. "Oh, hello, Padawan. Aren't you supposed to be out with your class? I could've sworn Master Windu was giving a lecture on the spatial equinox." He spoke with a slight disapproving sniff in his voice, as if he suspected that Anakin had cut class.
The Padawan hid his disappointment over the lack of warmth in the greeting by lowering his head, his braid lightly smacking his cheek. His braid was such a joke, he thought bitterly. It isn't as if he even notices me standing here, begging for some scrap of affection.
"Master Windu had to cancel, he was called into a meeting with Master Yoda and Supreme Chancellor Palpatine," he quietly explained. He didn't bother to elaborate, his Master would believe him or not, depending on his mood.
"Oh, I hope everything's all right," he said tiredly, rubbing his head as he walked by him. Entering the kitchen, he looked about absently, searching for something. Finding the kettle where he'd left it, he filled it with water and set it on the stove to boil.
While he waited for it to warm up, he became aware that his Padawan was behind him and asked him, only partially listening to the answer. "Was there anything in particular you wished for dinner?"
"Whatever you wish, Master," he said dully. Unbelievable, he thought angrily, how one person could so reduce him to feeling like a child with so little effort and so unknowingly.
"Padawan, I don't believe that I am an unreasonable man. If there is something you wish, let me know. I am sure that we can find it. Or order it," he replied, pouring the water into his mug. "We can afford to be indulgent every once in a while."
Anakin shrugged, not really knowing what to say. He knew it for the concession it was and he couldn't help but wonder what it was about.
While the water was still steaming, he added his special blend of herbs to it and inhaled the fragrance before blowing on it and sipping it. Feeling it work almost instantly, he sighed in relief as the headache he'd felt coming on since the early morning recede. It was only when the pressure inside his skull was relieved that he picked up on the vaguely disturbed feelings from his Padawan.
Turning to face him, he asked, cradling the mug in his hands. "Anakin? Is everything all right?"
Anakin visibly started and stared at him, startled to hear his name. Usually, his Master addressed him with a look or by his title, never by his name. He'd begun to wonder if Obi-Wan had even remembered he had a name before they had come here. "I'm all right, Master."
"Classes are going well?" he pressed. "You aren't having any trouble, are you?"
"Fine," he brushed that question off. His coursework never troubled him. It may have bored him, but he never found it troubling. Most of it was things he had learned by observation or listening to the talk about Tatooine. Also, his connection with the Force revealed many of the deeper things to his mind.
An eyebrow rose at that statement. "Really, Padawan? That's rather funny because it is not what I hear from your teachers. They tell me that you are inattentive and lack discipline. That you constantly challenge them and their teachings. Occasionally, you have been blatantly rude and argumentative. And during one class, if you would kindly remember, you got up and left the room using a very colorful colloquialism as you did. I had a difficult time convincing them to let you back in."
He shrugged, looking faintly uncomfortable at the pointed reminder. It wasn't like it happened in every class, only when he felt that what they were learning was wrong. He also knew that a lecture was sure to follow and he didn't really want to hear it.
"Anakin," Obi-Wan warned.
Sighing, he relented and gave him the answer he knew Obi-Wan was waiting for, though he knew it would annoy his Master. "I can't help it if I think some of the things they are saying are wrong."
"But you can help when you mention it," he replied.
"Oh, please. They won't listen to me outside of class anymore than they do in the classroom," he snorted.
"Nevertheless, it is unbecoming to mention their perceived failings in front of your peers. The classroom is their arena, not yours. They need to maintain discipline if they are to teach anyone effectively," he lectured. "And if you keep mouthing off or showing them disdain, it does not help your case."
"I know this," he started.
"Nor does it make a good impression on those you wish to impress," he went on ruthlessly. " It only enforces their opinions of you as an irresponsible and reckless youth. Not only that but it gives our impressionable children a bad example. Whether or not you see it, they look up to you. For all your young years, you have accomplished much. You are supposed to be a good role model for them, not a rebellious one."
"Yes, Master." He traced an invisible pattern in the ground, only half listening to him. It wasn't as if he hadn't heard all of this before and from others. They all pushed at him to conform. "I have been trying. You know I have, Master."
"I know. It's just that you don't seem to try hard enough. You seem so," he started to say when the com beeped. Reaching over, he picked it up and answered it with a curt greeting. "What?"
"Interrupted you, have I?" Yoda asked, a sharpness in his voice that caused him to wince. "Important work you are doing. More imperative than what words I have for you, sure of this you are? Call back later when less busy you are, should I?"
"No, Master Yoda," he quickly said. "I apologize for my rudeness. What is it that you wish of me?"
"Wish to see you and Padawan Skywalker in our chambers, I do," he replied.
"As you wish, Master Yoda," he said good-bye and put it down. With a deep sigh of regret, he poured what was left of his drink down the drain. It wouldn't do to keep the Council waiting for them. "Padawan," he started but stopped at the sight that met his eyes.
Anakin stood in the doorway, his formal robe already on. A resigned look on his face, as if he had been expecting this. He held out Obi-Wan's own cloak and helped him into it without complaint. Though the alarm bells were going off because he knew his Padawan was never this obedient even after a lecture, the Jedi ignored them for the moment.
There would be time to talk to him later.
