This is based on "Burn," by Fireglass, a Harry Potter oneshot. It's written in the same style as that, and the author let me use that style for this story thingy. If you like Harry Potter fanfiction, go check out "Burn," as well as some other stories by the same author (she writes Twilight fanfiction too), because they're awesome. :D
I don't think I pulled this writing style off nearly as well as Fireglass did. xP It's not a hundred percent horrible, though (no, just about 99.99999 percent xD), so I'm posting it. You can decide if Leah's offing herself or if she's just going cliff diving or what.
This was meant to be in Circles, my story of random Leah-centric drabbles, but it ended up longer than I expected, so I posted it separately. Yeah. Reviews and/or constructive criticism would be very much appreciated. :3
Leah sits on the edge of the cliff, looking down at the churning, roiling, great mass of waves below, dashing against the rocks and sending up spray against the sand and rocks down there. It is like a whirlwind of emotions and feelings, she thinks, overwhelming emotions and feelings like…
Calmness
It is peaceful here. A perfect place to think.
A perfect place to think about how much life sucks.
And…
Reluctance
She doesn't want to think about her life now, but if she doesn't, when will she ever? She might as well get it over sooner than later…
… because it's unavoidable. Life has always sucked for Leah; why should this be any different?
And…
Grief
She thinks about her life, and the first thing—or person—that comes to mind is Sam. She mourns him. It would be better, she thinks, if he were dead.
If her life sucks, his—or lack thereof—should too. He deserves that.
And…
Horror
How can she think that? Sam was her life. He isn't anymore, but he was, and people don't treat lives—even past ones—like that. Emily would be inconsolable as well.
Life would suck for her.
And…
Anger
Sam wouldn't have any reason to die if he weren't with Emily, and if he weren't with Emily, she wouldn't be inconsolable if he died. It's a paradox, Leah thinks.
Paradoxes suck almost as much as life does, she decides, because she can't figure this one out. She hates not knowing things.
And…
Self-Loathing
There has to be something wrong with her. Maybe that's why Sam didn't imprint on her when he first phased. Maybe that's why she's been pining after a guy she knows she never can and never will have.
Her life sucks.
And…
Bitterness
Well, they can all just jump off a cliff. Like the one in front of her.
What sucky way for life to end.
And…
Sarcasm
Maybe she can jump off a cliff, and then laugh at their reactions to her suicide while burning in hell. See how they'd like that.
So even the afterlife would suck. Hell. I just can't catch a break, Leah thinks.
And…
Realization
Jumping off a cliff actually isn't that bad a thing to do, she realizes. The freedom of falling, feeling wind rush through your hair… that would make the landing worthwhile. Leah has never tried cliff diving before. The other boys in the pack say it's like a high. Blissful, freeing. Maybe Bella Swan wasn't that crazy when she jumped off the very same cliff Leah stands in front of now.
Maybe cliff diving will free her, and her life won't suck so much.
And…
Uncertainty
Surely something Bella Swan liked can't be all that great.
I can't believe I'm actually thinking about Bella Swan, Leah thinks. My life sucks.
And…
Comprehension
It doesn't matter if Bella Swan liked it, she decides. She's at Bella Swan's level, anyway; at least Bella got the leech she loved. Leah can't get the wolf she still wants, despite everything.
Life sucked.
And…
Doubt
She always prided herself on being the only wolf who hadn't gone cliff-diving, mostly because the other boys always joked about how she should come with them and "accidentally" kill herself, and then they'd be rid of her. Does she really want to do this now, and let them win?
Either way, her life will still suck, so does it really matter?
And…
Conviction
It doesn't matter, Leah says to herself. Either way, they will win.
And she will always lose, no matter what, because fate has decreed that Leah Clearwater's Life Must Always Suck.
And…
Hatred
The ugly feeling rises up in her chest. It's all their fault, she thinks, they made her this way.
They made her life suck.
And…
Knowing
Some will be sad that she gave up to them. Some will jeer and laugh, she's certain.
Even after so completely losing, her life—or whatever that remains—will still suck, no matter what.
And…
Preparation
Leah stands up and moves forward, letting the wind blow through her hair. She smells the ocean, the salty water, the thriving life in there.
At least fish have unsucky lives, she thinks.
And…
Finality
She hovers by the edge of the cliff, her back facing the drop. Her eyes close, and she smiles.
Bye, sucky life, she thinks, still smiling.
And…
Fall.
