A/N: I venture into the
world of VG fic with my head held high and my nails painted black. Well, sort
of. By the way, I do believe in Brian/Curt togetherness. Arthur can go
find someone else LOL.
The Way to Change the
World
I'm sorry. Don't you know I'm sorry?
Why else would I be here, waiting for you, waiting for the
front door to open and you to step out, glittering, new, without all the people
who possess you, change you into the person they think you should be.
I know better. I know who you really are, don't you
understand that? I don't care about the glitter or the platform boots or the
silver fabric, I don't care about the lipstick or the hair or the eye makeup.
For once, something in your life wasn't about image, wasn't
about what other people though of you. Is that why I'm standing here? Is that
why I can see movement behind the curtains but I know, really, that you're not
going to come?
You never listened when I told you not to be scared, you
never heard me when I told you that what they think doesn't mean shit. You've
lost yourself in the glitz, Brian, the glitter world- you were lost long before
I ever met you.
I thought I could help you, I really did. I thought I could
save you, like you saved me?
And it almost worked. I was so close. At nights I would stare
into your eyes and I would see them shine with the knowledge that the whole
fucking world was yours and it was, Brian, it was. Look at the stars, the
beautiful stars shining in the bruised velvet sky, look at them for me one more
time, see yourself reflected in them.
The glitter isn't who you are, the glitter isn't what makes
you beautiful, you've always been beautiful to me.
No, don't give the man a mask, don't hide behind the image
anymore, Brian. Tell it like it fucking is, tell the truth and they'll see it,
that's the only way we're going to change the world.
Don't hide behind Mandy- don't use her that way, don't use
her love for you- or Jerry, who never really cared about you, or Shannon, who
sold her innocence to the highest bidder.
Just don't hide, Brian. Don't hide your beauty, your magic.
I wanted more than you were willing to give, Brian, I wanted
your everything, I wanted to get under your skin, for you to be under mine, I
wanted to go deeper, and deeper still.
The curtain lifts and there you are, with your blue hair and
your eyes, your eyes that used to sparkle with, with something indescribable
and wonderful and perfect.
And then you turn away, and the curtain falls into place, and
I know I have lost you, and I have lost the stars that flickered in your eyes.
We could have changed the world, Brian. God, we could have
changed the fucking world with each other.
If only we could have let go, and gone a little deeper.