(A/N: I do not own the song. It's called "Dark Lady" and its by Cher)
Trelawney
The fortune fool of Hogwarts School,
Was brushing her cat in her black limousine
On the backseat were scratches from
Hermione's cat Crookshanks she had won
Couldn't see through the tinted glass,
She said "Hogwarts Tom" and he hit the gas
Herm followed her to some darkened room,
She took her money, she said "I'll be with you soon"
Trelawney laughed and danced and lit the candles with a wand
Danced to her gypsy music till her brew was done
Trelawney played dark magic till the clock struck on the twelve
She told Hermione more about her than Herm knew herself
She dealt two cards, a queen and a three
And mumbled some words that were so strange to 'Mione
Then she turned up a two-eyed jack,
Herm's eyes saw red but the card still stayed black
She said the man you love is secretly true
To someone else who is very close to you
My advice is that you leave this place,
Never come back and forget you ever saw my face
Trelawney laughed and danced and lit the candles with a wand
Danced to her gypsy music till her brew was done
Trelawney played back magic till the clock struck on the twelve
She told Hermione more about her than Herm knew herself
So Herm ran home and crawled in her bed,
She couldn't sleep because of all the things she said
Then she remembered her strange perfume,
And how she smelled it was in her own room!
So she sneaked back and caught her with her Draco,
Laughing and kissing till they saw the wand in her hand
The next thing she knew they were dead on the floor,
Trelawney would never turn a card up anymore
Trelawney laughed and danced and lit the candles with a wand
Danced to her gypsy music till her brew was done
Trelawney played back magic till the clock struck on the twelve
She told Hermione more about her than Herm knew herself
(It's also NOT an insult to H/D shippers! I just found it funny!)
Trelawney
The fortune fool of Hogwarts School,
Was brushing her cat in her black limousine
On the backseat were scratches from
Hermione's cat Crookshanks she had won
Couldn't see through the tinted glass,
She said "Hogwarts Tom" and he hit the gas
Herm followed her to some darkened room,
She took her money, she said "I'll be with you soon"
Trelawney laughed and danced and lit the candles with a wand
Danced to her gypsy music till her brew was done
Trelawney played dark magic till the clock struck on the twelve
She told Hermione more about her than Herm knew herself
She dealt two cards, a queen and a three
And mumbled some words that were so strange to 'Mione
Then she turned up a two-eyed jack,
Herm's eyes saw red but the card still stayed black
She said the man you love is secretly true
To someone else who is very close to you
My advice is that you leave this place,
Never come back and forget you ever saw my face
Trelawney laughed and danced and lit the candles with a wand
Danced to her gypsy music till her brew was done
Trelawney played back magic till the clock struck on the twelve
She told Hermione more about her than Herm knew herself
So Herm ran home and crawled in her bed,
She couldn't sleep because of all the things she said
Then she remembered her strange perfume,
And how she smelled it was in her own room!
So she sneaked back and caught her with her Draco,
Laughing and kissing till they saw the wand in her hand
The next thing she knew they were dead on the floor,
Trelawney would never turn a card up anymore
Trelawney laughed and danced and lit the candles with a wand
Danced to her gypsy music till her brew was done
Trelawney played back magic till the clock struck on the twelve
She told Hermione more about her than Herm knew herself
(It's also NOT an insult to H/D shippers! I just found it funny!)
